A Roadside Rescue
by greenstuff2
Summary: But who is rescuing who?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I wasn't going to publish this just yet as I have only done 2 Chapters, but it is my antidote to a wobbling CJ of the new season ... as you know the only HEA I'd be happy with is the Molly/CJ one but there are as always a few hurdles to clear along the way. I do hope you enjoy the return of the alpha male that I adore as much as I've enjoyed writing about him, but I'm having my usual bout of stage fright at publishing something new, so would be grateful if you could review for me.**_

PROLOGUE

"Captain James ... Charles ..." He shook his head ruefully "You do know don't you that this would be a hell of a lot easier on both of us if you would just ... well come at least half way towards meeting me?"

"No doubt"

Daniel bit back the urge to respond with an irritably sharp retort of his own, instead he looked silently and steadily over the top of his glasses at the body language of the man sitting opposite, the man who was determined not to co-operate and thought what a pity it was he'd decided to detach himself so completely from the whole process. Not that it was uncommon for people to do their best to hide their emotions behind a mask of indifference but this was the third session they'd had together and he didn't know the man sitting in front of him any better now than he had at the very outset.

And he was not a miracle worker so couldn't even begin to help someone who was so adamantly rejecting the help on offer, so was now having to ignore the persistent little voice in his head that was telling him to stop wasting his bloody time and that he might as well get off home for all the progress they were making.

But the army wasn't paying him to give up no matter how uncooperative someone was or how much of a pain in the bum they were or how his attempts to create a friendly and convivial atmosphere were falling on stony ground.

Charles was determined that he wasn't going to make the slightest attempt to co-operate with this charade and what was more he knew precisely how difficult he was making things for the counsellor, for _Daniel_ , he was being a pain in the bloody arse and knew it, but couldn't seem to stop. Daniel seemed pleasant enough, well that was what he was being paid for, and he was most certainly working his socks off as he tried to build some sort of relationship between the two of them, but as far as Charles was concerned he might as well give up, he was flogging a dead horse. There was no way these sessions were going to end up with some note stuck on his record somewhere saying just how flaky some _counsellor_ thought he was.

And he'd never tried to make a secret of the fact that he didn't want any part of it anyway. Right from the moment the Major had told him he was booked on these sessions and that he had no choice in the matter, he'd made up his mind not to spill any of his deepest thoughts and demons to this chubby little man with the glasses on the end of his nose. Hell would have to freeze over first. He was prepared to accept that perhaps he had a bit of a bit of a problem, his temper had become a tad unpredictable and he had a short fuse so that he knew people, even the lads in 2 Section had become very wary of him, and he even knew that Beck was concerned about him, but all that and the fact he was finding it hard to sleep was nothing he couldn't handle in his own way. If only everyone would just back off and leave him alone and let him get on with it.

-OG-

 _ **Chapter One**_

The snow certainly wasn't easing off the way the bloody forecasters had predicted, if anything it was getting heavier as Charles eased his foot from the accelerator and slowed right down and then peered through the small patch of windscreen that was being kept clear by the wipers and used his hand to wipe the condensation away. Common sense told him that first chance he got he was going to have to get out and brave the arctic temperatures again to clear it, but he'd been distracted when he'd set off and hadn't even thought about going back to his office to grab his bloody coat or some gloves, and at the time he'd completely forgotten there wasn't even a fleece in the car anymore because he'd cleared it the previous weekend, purely to give himself something to do. So he was going to bloody freeze, combats weren't exactly known for their thermal qualities, and it seemed likely that a journey that usually took about 40 minutes give or take was going to take bloody hours, a perfect end to a perfect day.

As usual the so-called anger management session or whatever they labelled it had left him feeling restless and impatient when he'd finally got out, he could feel the tension in his shoulders and his back and knew that his fists were gripping the steering wheel hard enough to give him cramp. He had to keep making a conscious effort to relax his shoulders and ease off a bit, it was beginning to give him a headache. The blessed witch doctor had said that it was an indication of an excess of too much adrenalin running riot in his body and it was the main reason for his short fuse. Not that he'd ever been violent, he hadn't actually hit anyone, hadn't lost the plot to that degree regardless of provocation, and there'd been plenty of that, but even he could hear how caustic and sarcastic he was these days and that the old Charles James' jovial manner had long since vanished. No-one dared enter into any banter with him these days.

It had disappeared the day his best friend had got blown off the top of a fucking building right in front of him, and ever since that day this little voice in the back of his head had kept telling him it was time to face reality, that it had been his fault, as so many other things had been over the years. He'd been the one supposed to be in charge. There had been so many deaths, Geraint and Smurf and then Azizi, and even Sohail and so many others that he couldn't even name and now the news about Quaseem, that the Government was denying the Afghani a Visa to come to the U.K., even after everything he'd done for them which meant he'd probably be the next. But it was the day Elvis had died that proved to be the icing on the cake of his doubts about his life. It had felt like the culmination of so much uncertainty about whether they were actually achieving anything when they went marching into somewhere that clearly resented their presence. And it had sounded the final death knell of his marriage to Rebecca. Now he was supposed to spend time before his next session with ' _Call me Dan'_ thinking about how he felt about it all, examining what his feelings were when that surge of anger went through him at the waste of so much, the feelings that made him clench his fists and become short tempered and liable to lash out. _Homework_ the witch doctor called it, not that Charles was going to do it, he hadn't got the time and he certainly hadn't got the inclination.

The traffic was virtually at a standstill on the A36 which did nothing to improve his frame of mind, he was already unbelievably bloody late so that sitting in a long line of traffic which was crawling nose to tail at less than 5 miles an hour, that was when it was moving at all, filled him with impatient frustration. He was sick to death of red brake lights stretching into the distance as far as the eye could see and was equally sick of watching the snow swirl in the headlights, but the decision he took to exit the main road and take the cross country option was definitely beginning to look more than a little rash once he was out of the traffic and moving. It no longer seemed like the smart thing to do when the lane was winding and unlit and was rapidly becoming featureless with the snow settling the way it was and he was finding it so unbelievably hard to concentrate. The snow was vaguely mesmeric and there was no traffic to keep him alert and focussed so his mind began to replay the afternoon and just for a minute he was so distracted with his own thoughts that he was driving on auto-pilot, until he realised with a sudden jolt that he didn't know exactly where he was in relation to the turning he needed.

He knew the route like the back of his bloody hand, ay least he thought he did, and could, in fact, practically find his way blindfold but it wasn't something he particularly wanted to put to the test with the weather the way it was, he needed to switch his brain back into gear and keep it there, to stay alert and focussed. He needed to stop the thoughts that were running over and over in his head, to press pause and to leave _replay_ until the middle of another sleepless night, he needed to keep his wits about him unless he wanted to end up in a ditch with incipient hypothermia.

"What the ... ? Ffffuuuuck"

He'd been barely moving, crawling along at less than ten miles an hour because his windscreen was anything but clear, but even so he only just managed to avoid ploughing straight into it. And as it was he ended up fighting with the steering because he had to brake too hard for the state of the road and had gone skidding out of control until he came to a halt facing the wrong way on the wrong side of the road. He'd missed ending up in the ditch by a matter of inches, but it was the last thing he'd expected to see as he came over the brow of the hill. As soon as his breathing returned to something approaching normal he looked over to check, but it wasn't some form of snow blindness or something, it wasn't shadows or an hallucination of some sort, there definitely was a car with its front end resting in the roadside ditch, a car that had a thick blanket of snow on the roof. An old car that had no hazards blinking so it had obviously been abandoned by some prat without any thought for the danger it posed parked where it was, and whoever had been driving must have walked on because a breakdown driver would never have left it in such a dangerous position. But, there was this little voice in his head, in all likelihood a consequence of spending more years than he cared to think about looking out for the welfare of others, even inconsiderate morons, that wouldn't let him just drive off before he'd checked to make absolutely certain that the driver was long gone, he needed to be sure for his own peace of mind that there wasn't someone sitting in that car, hurt or worse. He took a quick glance at his watch and grimaced, but even knowing how late he was going to be, he got out in the icy wind and left the engine running with the headlights on full beam. He had no intention of stumbling around on a glacier in the dark or of getting flattened by someone else taken by surprise by a car that was half in a ditch..

"You okay?"

He'd been wrong ... and right ... there was someone in the car, but she wasn't hurt, well not that he could tell although he couldn't be absolutely sure because she'd hastily locked the door when he'd put his hand down to try the handle and had then leaned across to check that the passenger side was locked as well. She'd pasted a fake smile on her face and shouted that she was fine so thanks but there was no need for him to worry himself and had then continued to avoid looking at him again beyond an occasional little sideways glance as though she was convinced he was standing in a fucking blizzard without a coat but with every intention of doing her some sort of harm.

"You need to put your hazards on ... next time you might not be so lucky"

"Yeah ... okay"

"Well, go on then, what the fuck are you waiting for? Come on, this is dangerous ... in case you hadn't noticed it's dark and it's cold and it's fucking snowing so no-one is going to be expecting to see your car parked here ... I only just missed hitting you myself"

"I'm not parked ... I mean, thanks but I'll be fine ...thanks very much, but there's really no need for you to worry ... or to stop here"

"Hazards?" He took a deep breath and did his best to control his instinct to yell at her "For fuck sake, put the bloody things on then I'll leave you to it"

"Umm ... they are on ...well they were, they seem to 'ave stopped for some reason ... but I'm sure I'll be okay ... so thanks anyway" Charles could read the sub-text of ' _now could you do what I asked and fuck right off'_ so clearly that he was sorely tempted to do just that. He was already sick of conducting a shouted conversation through a closed car window with someone who was reluctant to look at him, but when she did glance his way she looked at him as if he had evil intent.

"Don't be so bloody ridiculous, look..." He ran his hand through his hair which was soaking wet with the snow "You can't just sit there ... I've already told you it's dangerous ..." He took another deep breath and tried not to let his irritability get the better of him "Did the AA say how long they were going to be?"

"Nah"

"Did you tell them that you're here on your own?" He made an involuntary movement to check his watch "How long ago did you phone them?" She glanced at him and then looked away but not before he saw the way she bit her lip and somehow he knew "You did phone them, right?"

"Nah, I 'aven't phoned them ... okay?" She cracked the window open a tiny bit to make sure that he could hear her and then looked at him full in the face for the first time so that part of him registered just how pretty she was "I 'aven't phoned anyone, alright, I'm not a member or whatever it is they call it ... and it's not my car anyway ...and I've lost me phone ... well, not lost it exactly I mean I know where it is, it's just I sort of left it behind ... so I couldn't phone even if I wanted to ... and even if I knew the number ... which I don't, but I'm okay, I'll just wait till this lot stops ... and then I'll sort meself out, so thanks for your help, now goodbye"

"What ... you're going to walk are you?" He gave a derisive snort down his nose "That's if you don't freeze to bloody death first sitting here ... You don't look to me as though you're exactly dressed for a long walk in this weather"

He could only guess at how cold she was, her purple lips could be a trick of the light but there was a distinct lack of condensation on the windows which meant the inside of the car was probably roughly the same temperature as it was outside and she was another one who wasn't wearing a coat. In fact, she was wearing a very minimal black dress so that his eyes were drawn to her thighs, something she obviously noticed as she glared at him and tugged at her skirt, trying in vain to make it appear longer as she shuffled around on the seat.

"Me coat is with me phone ... and anyway you're not either"

"True, but I'm not sitting in a car without any heating in a fucking snowstorm am I?" He scowled "I've got a nice warm car over there and it hasn't broken down, so I'll be fine ... you on the other hand... "

He didn't finish his comment, just raised his eyebrows and shrugged, then took a deep breath and told himself he had to try and make allowances, she was stranded and she didn't know him from Adam, he was a complete stranger who could be anybody and it was very dark and isolated so he did his best to force a more conciliatory tone into his voice. "Look, I'm a Captain in the British Army, I'm not an axe murderer and I've got no intention of raping you either, it's far too bloody cold for that, so are you going to stop being so fucking stupid and go and sit in my car while I try to get this heap of junk going and get it out of the ditch?"

"Nah don't think so ... thanks ... ummm, 'n I 'ave tried, I 'aven't just been sat here twiddling me thumbs waiting for someone to come along and .. look, I can look after meself ... anyway I think I've ran out of petrol now ... or maybe it's the battery's gone a bit dead, dunno ... not sure"

"What? ... Oh shit ... what sort of moron goes out on a night like this without checking they've got enough fuel, checking the bloody gauge would have been a good place to start"

"It don't work"

"For fuck sake... why doesn't that surprise me?" Charles took a deep breath and tried again, he was rapidly getting to the point of leaving her to her own devices, he was frozen and deeply frustrated and getting nowhere fast and could feel his fists clenching so that he silently cursed Daniel for making him so aware of it. But he couldn't begin to imagine how cold she was, in fact if he wasn't mistaken she was actually shivering in the icy draught that was getting through the tiny crack of the open window.

"Who pissed in your Coco-Pops this morning?"

"WHAT? What did you just say?"

"Nothin' ..." She muttered then shrugged and decided to get rid of the bad tempered bugger in any way she could so that she could shut the bloody window and go back to thinking about how unfair it all was, how it should have been her today "Look, Mr Captain in the British Army, it's not my bloody car .. okay? And I didn't know that the thingies, gauges, don't work so I didn't know I 'adn't got enough petrol .. okay? and it wouldn't 'ave 'appened if something hadn't run out in front of me ... I was only doing me best not to hit it, didn't want to kill Bambi did I? And I'm not used to driving in this shit so I didn't know I was gonna skid all over the shop did I? So why don't you go back and get in that nice warm car of yours and go ... wherever it was you was going and leave me alone"

Charles bit back another angry retort and wondered why the fuck he couldn't seem to just walk away, why he couldn't just do as she said and get back in his nice warm car and go home. She wasn't his responsibility and she obviously didn't want his help, even if she did need it. He took a deep breath and made an effort to start again "What's your name?"

"Meghan Markle"

-OG-

It had been the shit day to top all the other shit days she'd had in her life. Everyone had tried to talk her out of going, well Bella had, and Nan had, and even her mum had tried but the bastards had made a point of inviting her specially and she wasn't about to let them know what they'd done to her by not showing up. There was no way she was giving them the satisfaction.

They'd sent the invitation to East Ham so that she couldn't even pretend she'd never got it and even though she'd ripped it into little bits ready to flush it down the bog and had then changed her mind and put a match to it, unfortunately setting fire to the bin at the same time, the details had been imprinted on her brain so that hard as she tried she couldn't forget them.

 _Tony the Tosspot and Donna the Traitor_

 _Request the pleasure of your Company_

 _At their bleeding wedding_

 _You sad loser_

Not even a 'plus one' so that she could have pretended she was over him, over them, could have found someone else to drag along with her so that her boyfriend of over two years, the bloke that she'd thought was ' _the one'_ would know she didn't care anymore _._ It was a lie of course, when she'd found out he was shagging her best mate from work, she'd wanted to throw things at him and scream and stab him, and her. They were ' _in lurve_ ' apparently, couldn't help themselves, well that was according to him and now it looked like it could be a bit true, but the bloody cow had never said a word. Molly knew now that she should never have introduced them she hadn't had a clue that the two of them had started seeing each other behind her back, and it wasn't like the traitor could pretend she didn't know, she'd spent enough time listening to Molly talk about how she felt about him. How she'd thought he was _the one_ and what her plans were and all the time the little tramp had been, well, doing the dirty behind her back. Bloody traitor had known that the good looking man of her dreams was lying to her ... that he was a total turd who couldn't keep it in his pants ...

Oh, she'd gone through all the "It's okay, you can't help who you fall in love with" shit and the "Of course I understand, and no, I'm not angry, I'll live, it's no biggie" crap when it bloody was a big deal and she was angry and what she really wanted was to find a nice sharp stick and poke it in the traitor's eyes ... and then his, make them a matching pair. Bastards. And then they expected her to go and be at the wedding that should have been hers, to admire that bloody great diamond on her finger that should have been hers and to smile and say all the right things and be _nice._ She was 24 and her life felt like it was well and truly fucked.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Firstly thank you so much everyone for your exceptionally kind words and for the lovely reviews, it's always frightening publishing anything, but especially the 1**_ _ **st**_ _ **chapter of something new ... and then the relief that people actually seem to like it ... swiftly followed by the fear that chapter 2 will turn out to be a massive disappointment ... I can only hope not and that I've managed to transfer the pictures I see in my head to yours ...and that you enjoy the CJ we know and love as much as I've enjoyed writing about him...**_

 _ **-OG-**_

"She asked me who'd pissed in my breakfast"

Charles shook his head slowly from side to side and then looked up at Daniel with a grin tugging at his mouth, he had no idea why he'd suddenly decided to break the silence he'd worked so hard to maintain except that talking about his roadside encounter with the girl who'd called herself Meghan Markle didn't feel threatening in the same way that talking about Elvis' death or about his doubts in general would have been. And he was finding sitting in silence was beginning to feel exhausting. He looked up just in time to catch Daniel attempting to smother a grin.

"Interesting way of putting it ... she obviously has a way with words ... so ... what made her say it?"

"I have no idea"

"What? ... she just came out with it for no reason? Help me out here, Charles, I'm not sure I understand"

"I was too busy bollocking her to think about why she said anything at all"

"Why were you bollocking her?"

"She told me that she'd put her car in the ditch because she didn't want to kill Bambi for fuck sake" He snorted as he tried not to laugh, it was difficult to remember now just exactly what it was that had aggravated him so much "Then she told me her name was Meghan Markle"

"Right ... " Daniel was now making no attempt to hide his amusement, but inside his stomach clenched with a tiny spark of excitement, this was the first conversation that consisted of more than a series of snapped one word replies that he'd managed to have with the Captain who'd been at such pains to shut him out.

"I think you had to be there to see what an incredibly fucking stupid thing it was for her to have done ... and the way she wouldn't ... " He stopped "She wouldn't listen ... it wasn't safe"

"You know, maybe you could have given her the benefit of the doubt because sometimes there isn't a rational explanation for our actions, just occasionally we do things purely by instinct"

"If you say so"

The withdrawal in his voice was instant and complete as he reverted to the curt tone of voice that Daniel had got so accustomed to hearing, something that made him want to kick himself for saying anything at all that smacked so clearly of therapist-speak. A habit he thought he'd do well to break.

"You're married aren't you, Charles?"

"Nope, not anymore I'm not ... she's busying herself sorting out the final details of how best to bury me" He tugged at the curls on the back of his neck, but didn't mention the on-going clusterfuck that was his custody battle for his son, in fact he had no intention whatsoever of mentioning Sammie to this man "And what the fuck has that got to do with anything anyway?"

"Nothing at all, I'm just curious that's all .. it sounds to me as though you quite liked this girl"

"Don't be ridiculous, I neither liked her nor disliked her ... I just wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if I'd walked away and something had happened to her" He looked down at his hands "As we know, things can happen in a ... "

He'd clammed up completely again, his face back to the impassive mask that Daniel had got used to but he had thought he'd detected a definite softening in his manner when he'd talked about the girl with her car in a ditch. It had been the first time Daniel had seen him smile about anything, but either he'd been mistaken, or he'd pushed too far and too fast in his eagerness to establish a dialogue. But he honestly didn't think he'd made a mistake.

 _ **Chapter Two**_

She'd worn her black dress and would have gone to the charity shop to try and buy a black hat to go with it, or maybe have borrowed one if she could, preferably one of the ones with a little veil so that she could hide her face until Bella had told her that it was bad enough wearing black to a wedding as if she was she trying to look like Posh Spice, but that she'd look more like she was in mourning which wasn't quite the look she'd been aiming for. Mysterious? Yes, she'd quite liked the idea of people asking _who's the girl in black_? But looking like she was hiding the fact she was bawling? Not so much. She hadn't got any choice about the dress even if it was black, it was the only decent one she'd got so it was either that or jeans and it didn't warrant her spending any of her hard earned cash on something new, well, not for them anyway, not even from the charity shop, and Bella's stuff was a bit too _something._ Most of it was better suited to a night on the pull in a club. And she had done okay to start with. Had "ooh'd" and "ahh'd" with the rest of them when the traitor had waltzed into the place in a frock that she wouldn't have been seen dead in, well, Donna was about a foot taller than her and about half her width and wasn't what he'd called _sturdy,_ the bastard, so it would have looked like all kinds of crap on her, even if it did look okay on the beanpole. Alright it was actually pretty nice which had made Molly's eyes start to prickle. But no-one seemed to notice she was almost crying, or anyway no-one said anything, so she hadn't had to say that flowers always give her hayfever, an excuse she was quite proud of but which would have come as a hell of a surprise to her family.

She hadn't really thought it through when she'd asked Bella for a lend of her car, well, it wasn't actually hers, it belonged to some poor besotted bloke who didn't know that her sister hadn't actually passed her test so was driving it round illegally. Molly had had some qualms about whether that meant the car wasn't insured as such but had managed to put the worries to the back of her mind, needs must and all that and she hadn't been at all happy at the thought of going on the bloody train and buying British Rail for the privilege. But on the other hand driving meant no drinking and facing her ex marrying her ex mate needed alcohol, bucket loads of it.

She'd stuck it out for a bit, had even managed to eat some tasteless crap as she sat at the table for sad singles with the rest of the losers and had nursed one meagre glass of wine trying to make it last as long as possible but had drawn the line at listening to how the tosspot and the traitor were made for each other and what a bloody lovely couple they were and all the rest of that trite bollocks. As soon as the speeches started she got up and walked out but in her rush to get out the place forgot all about her coat on the back of a chair until it was too late, but leaving it like that meant she'd left her phone as well. It was in one of the pockets with her purse in the other one, not that there was any money in it, but by the time she opened her bag and realised what she'd done, it was too late to go crawling back to get them. People would see her and would be talking and some of them were workmates so she saw them all the time. She'd have to ring the hotel when she got home and ask them to put her stuff somewhere safe until she could get them back.

Just another thing to add to the long list of things that had already gone wrong.

She hadn't heard a weather forecast all day because the radio in the car was buggered so hadn't been expecting it to go to shit the way it had and the car was hard enough to drive without trying to fiddle with the radio at the same time even when it wasn't bleeding snowing. There was something a bit wrong with the steering so it was incredibly heavy and hurt her shoulders when she had to keep hauling it round to try and make it go in a straight line when it kept wanting to pull to the left so that she was glad to get off the main road and out the traffic. She'd already decided that driving in snow wasn't her favourite thing, she bloody hated the way it made her go dizzy and she wasn't even sure where she was, or even where she was going because the route she'd plotted on her phone was still on her phone, which was sitting back in the hotel so was fucking useless. And it didn't matter what _I'm Captain Birdseye t_ hought, she hadn't meant to put the front wheel in the ditch.

There really had been some animal run in front of her so she'd had to stamp on the brakes, hitting Bambi or even Basil Brush wasn't on her list of things she wanted to do, so the car had finally got its way and had gone so far off to the left that it had ended up in the bloody ditch. She hadn't meant for it to happen any more than she'd intended to end up sitting in the cold in the snow in a car that didn't work with no way of getting in touch with anyone. Bella would be shitting herself by now about where the fuck she'd got to, or where the car had got to more like, and she couldn't even phone and tell her she was in one piece and not to worry, or that she'd get herself home somehow just as soon as it bloody stopped snowing.

She had been feeling a bit like she was about to have another good cry as she'd sat there thinking about how this wasn't the way things were supposed to be, it was supposed to be her going off on her honeymoon somewhere warm, not sitting in a useless bit of shit car wishing she'd been to the loo before she'd flung out of the hotel. She'd just been wondering if she could bear to get out for a pee when his car had come barrelling over the hill and had then done a sort of handbrake turn after almost hitting her. He'd scared her half to bloody death so it was a bit of a miracle that she hadn't wet herself before he'd come marching over to yell at her through the window as though it was her fault he wasn't paying attention or looking where he was going.

He wanted her to get out and go and get in his car, but she might be cold and tired and a bit in need of a wee and a bit stuck and completely and utterly pissed off with the way things had gone but she wasn't that stupid. Okay, he'd told her he wasn't an axe murderer or a rapist, but then he would say that wouldn't he? And he was bloody big and he was bloody pissed off at something for some reason, which was quite possibly her.

-OG-

"Lovely ... well, in that case I'll leave you to it then Meghan"

"What? You're _going?_ "

"Yup, well, that's what you said you wanted wasn't it?" He sighed impatiently and then jerked his head in the direction of his car "Well, come on then if you're coming"

Molly didn't really know what had changed her mind for her, except that the thought of sitting there in the dark and cold on her own waiting for some other impatient bugger to come ploughing into her was a bit worrying to say the least, and better the devil you know and all that, not that she did know him, of course, but still as Nan always said, beggars can't be choosers. And it was still bleeding snowing so she couldn't see how else she was going to get away from here before, as he'd said, she froze to death.

She shoved the door open and stepped out immediately before she could think better of it, and sank ankle deep in snow which was enough of a shock to make her stagger a bit as she tried desperately not to fall flat on her face. Somehow she doubted he'd be all gentle about pulling her up again if she fell over, and as it was, he looked down at her best shoes and raised one eyebrow.

"I suppose I should be grateful you're not wearing your stilettos"

"Sorry ... left me wellies in me other car, didn't I?"

"Thought you might have left them in his helicopter"

The face she pulled at him was totally wasted as he turned and started marching back to his car without waiting for her as she stumbled along behind him doing her best to hurry without falling over with her feet slipping and sliding all over. The gorgeous black satin ballerina shoes with all the beads and the bits and bobs on the toes that she'd found on a market-stall and that she loved so much, the ones she'd thought were an absolute bargain were never, ever going to be the same again. And he was bloody right, it was arctic in the wind so that her thoughts turned longingly to her parka that was sitting on a chair in the hotel, that was unless someone had already waltzed off with it which would be just her luck.

"Well get in if you're going to .. or are you going to stand out there all night blowing like a bloody puffer fish?"

He had slid into the driver's side and then leaned across to open the passenger door while Molly stood outside in the snow and hesitated. She didn't know him and he was being dead shitty and horrible and here she was getting in his car without any way of calling for help if she needed it. How dumb was that? She'd pulled some bloody stupid stunts in her life, but this was probably right up there on a scale of one to ten and she badly wanted to say _please don't hurt me,_ but took a deep breath instead and clambered inelegantly into his car. All she was grateful for was that whatever happened she was never, ever going to have to see his stupid face ever again.

She'd been right about him being dead tall, he was another bean pole who bloody well towered over her, but when he'd been yelling from outside her car she hadn't realised just what he looked like, mainly because she hadn't really looked that closely. Now that she could see him properly she could see what a miserable, angry, good-looking bugger he was with his dark hair and his brown eyes and the dark stubble round his chin and then wondered why it was the good-looking ones that were always such arseholes.

"Where were you heading?"

"Home"

"I gathered that" He huffed sarcastically and then took a deep breath as if he was holding onto his temper by a thread "But we'll need to tell the recovery people where to deliver your car, I mean, you do realise you can't just leave it there, don't you?"

"We?"

"Of course _we_ , you haven't got a phone have you, so how are you going to get them to come out here and pick it up, smoke signals?" He scowled at her and bit the inside of his lip as he shook his head and lifted his phone to wave it in her direction, his long fingers poised and ready to call whoever it was he was intending to call "Well?"

"Taunton" She relayed her exact address and listened to him spell it out to whoever he was talking to and noticed for the first time how posh he sounded and then wondered why a posh bloke like him was doing all this for someone he didn't know, why he was bothering when there was obviously nothing in it for him. It wasn't that she wasn't grateful, she was, in a manner of speaking, but couldn't help wondering if it would be okay if she said she'd go in the breakdown truck when it got there because if he took her home, she couldn't just hop out the car and wave goodbye. She'd be forced to introduce him to Bella and hard as she tried, her mind was refusing to make that much of a leap.

Her worrying now included more than whether she was going to survive and what the odds were on her getting home unmolested to how the fuck she was going to pay for this recovery when her purse was on a chair in the hotel and she had this horrible feeling it was going to be way more than she could afford anyway.

"How much is this gonna cost me?"

She could hear how her voice had gone all quiet and quivery and sensed rather than saw him shoot an irritated glance in her direction with his eyebrows raised again "Only ... me purse is with me phone and I'm not sure how much money we got at home" Not much would be her best guess.

"I suggest we wait till they get here and ask them, don't you?" He ran his hand over his head and then looked at her again with the same irritation written all over his face, which she couldn't help noticing was actually a very nice face, well it was when he wasn't shouting at her or being all sarcastic and shitty "Tell me Meghan, are you always this careless with your belongings?"

"I'm not careless ... and I 'aven't lost them neither ... I know exactly where they are ... it's just they're not 'ere with me, that's all"

"Right ... I see ... world of difference"

He couldn't have sounded more sarcastic if he'd practised for a week as Molly shrugged and kept her mouth shut. She might not be entirely sure of his motives but she didn't want to end up standing on the roadside in the icy wind with no coat and sopping wet blocks of ice where her feet used to be or going back to sit on her own in her car in the dark and wait for someone to smash into it while she waited for the breakdown truck and he disappeared up the road in a puff of smoke. She had no idea how long they were going to take to get there, he hadn't said and she hadn't asked.

-OG-

Eventually after he'd finished doing the blokey thing he patted his arm and handed over her car keys to the little fat geezer who was muffled up to the nines with his beenie hat pulled right down and his scarf pulled right up so that no-one would recognise him on Crimewatch, and then gave him his credit card. In one way it came as a huge relief, at least the driver wasn't going to go ape-shit at her when they got outside hers and she told him she couldn't pay and she had to admit he didn't look like the kind of bloke you'd sit next to on a bus late at night, but on the other hand it gave Mr Army yet another excuse to get all arsey about how bleeding useless she was, not that he seemed to need an excuse.

"WHAT? ... sixty quid ... it cost _**sixty quid**_? You've gotta be joking"

"Fraid not... and it could have been a lot worse, that was actually quite reasonable" He sounded to her as if he was enjoying himself "And don't forget the pound a mile on top"

"Course not, how could I? Well, what's a few more quid that I 'aven't got?"

-OG-

Even though he was doing his best not to show it he was aware that every time he glanced to his left he couldn't help noticing the way her dress had risen up her thighs again or the fact that she kept trying to tug it down every time she thought he was looking, or that she was barefoot because the ridiculous shoes she'd been sliding all over the road in were currently disintegrating in a pool of water on the floor in front of her. As far as he could tell she'd finally stopped shivering, although if he was the gentleman his mother thought he was he'd ask her if she was warm enough, but the heating was on full whack as it was. She'd stopped shooting little sideways glances at him as though she was waiting for him to pounce and was staring resolutely at the road ahead, and the strained silence was for some unfathomable reason proving to be a fresh source of irritation. Not that he particularly wanted to talk to her of course.

"Ummm .. by the way ... should 'ave said before ... thanks"

Her voice sounded low and grudging to Charles, as if she was a child who'd been told to remember her manners and say thank you nicely, as he pretended to focus on the road and on the traffic that was finally beginning to move freely, then shrugged.

"It was ... I will pay you back" She paused "Soon as I can ... it's just, I gotta get me purse back first, but I will sort it, I'll get someone to get it for me ... sorry"

"It's fine ... no rush"

She made a silent vow to herself that she'd pay him back every single penny as soon as she possibly could, even if she had to go without lunches for weeks. She'd get Mum to go and collect it, or maybe Nan or ... whoever. She bloody HATED being in debt, couldn't bear the feeling of owing anything to anybody, of being beholden to someone, especially someone who'd done her a huge favour but who was now looking like he was sorry he'd got involved.

"What's your real name?"

His voice made her jump, she'd been miles away and had thought for some reason that now she'd said thanks, a bit bloody late admittedly but she'd been more worried about the _sixty bloody quid,_ still better late than never, that they were going to carry on sitting in silence till they got to her house so had happily given up wracking her brains trying to think of something sensible to say.

"Sorry ... what do you mean, me real name? ... What ... you saying' you don't believe me?"

"That your name's _Meghan Markle_?"

"Yeah ..."

"Let me see now, well lovely as that sounds, Meghan, we both know it's not true ..."

"How do you know? ... Might be"

"Fine, have it your way ... Meghan it is"

-OG-


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Thank you all for your reviews ... they mean the world to me so please keep them coming... and thank you for your really kind words, I am having an absolute blast writing this and am managing to ignore all that stuff from the other night ... I know, ostrich and living in the past and all that shit, but I don't care ... as far as I'm concerned Our Girl is Molly and CJ and their HEA – so sorry guys to those of you who want him to hop into bed with Georgie, not in my universe, I'm afraid ... and if he even thinks about doing something so foreign to his character, I'm going to pretend it's all a Dallas style dream ...**_

-OG-

"How angry did you get?"

"Well, I suppose it was more that I was aggravated really, I mean what she did was so fucking stupid and it only takes a minute for things to go very badly wrong ..." Charles tugged at the curls on the back of his neck and took a deep breath "Anyway, Lady Luck was smiling on us this time"

"Have you seen her since?"

"Nope" He raised his eyebrows and looked at Daniel who was watching him steadily "Why would I?" Charles chewed at his bottom lip as he thought for a moment "Well actually I probably will, she still owes me money and I don't think she's the kind of girl who'd be happy about owing anything to anyone ... certainly not the kind who'd just walk away without paying her debts ... her name's Molly by the way"

"Not Meghan then?"

"Nope" He snorted a quick laugh "Although on second thoughts I'm not so sure I will see her again, she'll probably prefer to send it to me in the post" He paused "As I said I was pretty aggravated so I spent a lot of time yelling at her... shouldn't think she'll be too keen on seeing me again"

"Why was that? I mean why were you yelling, was it only because you thought she'd put herself in harm's way?"

"Perhaps ... she was fucking stupid ... or at least she did some pretty stupid stuff, but I'm not sure she meant to ... and I'm pretty sure she didn't have a death wish ... still too late to worry about any of that now"

"Not necessarily ... you could always try telling her that you're sorry"

"Why the fuck would I want to do that?"

"Well ..." Daniel observed him in silence for a few seconds "Because sometimes an apology is the right thing to do ... for all sorts of reasons" He paused before he looked at Charles again with the steady stare that made him want to shout "What are you looking at me like that for? WHAT?" The man had a way of looking at him that got under his skin, a look that said a whole lot of things he wasn't sure he wanted to hear, and all without actually uttering a single word "You could perhaps ... I don't know ... see her as a friend?"

"Nope, that's one thing that's definitely not going to happen"

 _ **Chapter Three**_

The reassuring sight of the orange lights of the breakdown truck had been right behind them all the way till they'd reached the bit of road that had been gritted so that it was all wet and slushy instead of icy and even though it was still snowing a bit it wasn't coming down nearly as hard as it had been earlier on. But Molly was no longer worrying about the weather or that she was now busting for the loo, she'd even stopped being convinced he was going to pounce on her, she'd begun to worry instead about whether she was actually ever going to see the car again. Bella would fucking kill her if she had to go and tell her bloke that Molly had lost his car, she wasn't even sure if he knew she'd borrowed the bloody thing, but somehow doubted Bella had told him. What had seemed like a good idea about a hundred years earlier when she'd set out to drive to the wedding had turned into the sort of nightmare that was showing no sign of coming to an end.

-OG-

"'ave you seen what the fucking time is? Where the fucketty fuck 'ave you been?"

The door of the little terraced house in the middle of the row of identical terraced houses had been flung back so dramatically that it banged against the wall as another small girl with long dark hair appeared in the doorway with her hands on her hips and immediately started yelling.

"And why didn't you fucking phone me if you was gonna be late? And why is your fucking phone switched off ... so I couldn't ring you?"

She was glaring daggers at Molly who'd got out of the car and was hopping and jumping barefoot through the snow and carrying what was left of her ill-fated shoes in one hand. They felt gross so that she couldn't possibly put them on and had now decided that they obviously weren't the bargain she'd thought they were, it seemed likely that the soles were made of some sort of paper which had disintegrated into a sodden mass of something slimey and horrible when they'd got wet.

"And who the fuck is that?"

The girl nodded her head in Charles' direction as he got out of the car to follow Molly and then popped her head out of the doorway to peer from side to side up and down the street under the glow of the street lights.

"And where the FUCK is my fucking car?"

"Let me get in Bels, me feet 'ave got frostbite ... they're gonna drop off in a minute"

Molly turned and pulled a warning face at her sister, then shook her head and hissed as she shoved her none too gently to one side " _Language ... stop swearing will you?"_ She turned and pasted a fake smile on her face and hoped that he hadn't noticed the worst of her sister's language as she turned and issued a somewhat lukewarm invitation for him to get himself in the warm as he walked up the path and stood behind her, his boots making short work of the snow. He'd said he would wait for the recovery truck just to make sure that everything was as it should be and Molly knew that she should be bending over backwards to be grateful, but wasn't that sure that she was. If it wasn't that she thought it would be too bloody rude she'd have suggested he should maybe wait in his car, but not only would that be incredibly rude but it would also be massively ungrateful, after all he'd made it very plain that he didn't like her very much and yet here he was doing her this huge favour. But inviting him in meant she was going to have to introduce him to the sister who was standing in the open doorway glaring at him and swearing like a bloody trooper at the top of her voice.

"Yeah ... but who IS he? I mean, what's he doing here with you? And what was you doing in his car, you know what Nan told us about getting in cars with blokes you don't know and then you bring him home for fuck sake ... what was you thinking? And where is MY fu... my car, please tell me you 'aven't wrecked it? Shit, you 'ave aven't you? Or you've 'ad it towed"

Bella was interrogating Molly in the sort of undertone that could have been heard three streets away so that she was suddenly all too conscious of the way they were behaving towards someone who'd saved her neck for her, that they were being unbelievably rude by keeping him standing outside the door in the cold while they talked about him in loud whispers as well as using a lot of very bad language, or at least Bella was. But Molly had also realised that she couldn't introduce him properly because she didn't know what his bloody name was. They'd been together for what felt like hours, but for some reason she hadn't thought to ask him, and now all her rattled brain could come up with was _Captain Birdseye_ which she was bloody sure wasn't right.

"Nah it 'asn't been towed, not the way you mean anyway ... and keep your voice down ... the whole street don't wanna hear you ... and you owe him sixty quid, that's who he is ... if it hadn't been for him I'd still be sitting in your car freezing to bloody death in a poxy ditch ... you didn't tell me the steering had gone to shit did you? I could be _dead_ "

Charles put his head down slightly to hide his smirk as he stood behind her on the garden path. He'd known all along that the Bambi story was bullshit as the other girl guffawed and shook her head at Meghan or whatever her bloody name was, she was obviously completely unconvinced that there'd been any danger at all.

"Why me? I'm not paying it, I wasn't driving, you were and it weren't that bad ... so where is it now, what you done with it?"

Charles had an insane urge to laugh as he saw the "shut the fuck up" look that Meghan shot at the girl who looked so much like her they had to be related. Meghan really did have very beautiful eyes, big and green and expressive despite the way she was narrowing them at the other girl but it appeared she hadn't got any intention of launching into an explanation of any sort while she was standing in the open doorway with him behind her. He wondered for a moment what story she was eventually going to tell and whether Bambi would feature in it anywhere. But on the whole he thought not.

"Nothin' ... I 'aven't done nothing with it ... it had to be recovered out the ditch ... and it cost sixty bloody quid ... it'll be 'ere in a minute" She had this desperate urge to cross her fingers when she said that, she still thought it was no more than an each way bet as to whether they'd ever see it again, but had her sodden shoes in one hand and her bag in the other so stood back slowly and gestured with her head for Charles to go in "Through there ... I won't be a sec ... must just go and .. "

She stopped, he really had no need to know how desperate she was for the loo so waited until he'd gone in and then shut the front door and beckoned Bella to come close enough so she could whisper in her ear, all the time desperately hoping that he wouldn't be able to hear what she was saying as he walked into the front room and stood in front of the fire.

"I'm bustin for a pee, so please will you go and find something to talk to him about for a few minutes, go on, please ... we can't just leave him standing there on his own, it's rude... "

"Yeah we can .. ... well I can ... watch me ..."

"Please Bels, please be nice ... you could offer to make him a drink or something while I go ..." But Bella shook her head violently, a look of abject horror on her face.

"Nah ... we don't know him ... _you_ don't know him, he could be anyone..." She rolled her eyes dramatically and then heaved an even more dramatically long suffering sigh "Oh go on then if you must, but you owe me ... and you'd better not be long, he could be a serial killer, could be gonna top me first and then you..."

"Don't be such a bleeding Muppet ... course he's not" Molly had conveniently forgotten that her sister was saying aloud all the things that she'd said to herself a little bit earlier "'n put these in the bin for me will you, think they've 'ad it" She passed the shoes to Bella who held them at arm's length and wrinkled her nose with an expression of disgust "Where's Martin?"

"Yuk ... shit what happened to them? Martin's upstairs ... you know something, he could be the next after me, 'n then you'd have to tell people it was you bought him to the house ... Mum ... Nan ..."

"What you talking about? I wouldn't, I'd be dead remember?"

"Oh yeah ... 'ang on a sec ..."

"What? .. Come on hurry up"

"Just thought you might of got yourself arrested for pushing the bride's teeth down her throat?"

"Nah ... course not ... go on Bels please ..."

Molly was half-way up the stairs before she'd finished pleading, she was no longer altogether sure that she was going to make it in time, the thought of being able to relieve her bursting bladder seemed to have made the need even more pressing.

"If I must ... gotta go and get something first ... "

"What? Bella, what you doing?"

Molly stopped and crossed her legs as she looked down at her sister who promptly flounced into the kitchen and Molly carried on rushing up the stairs as quickly as she could, which wasn't particularly fast because she was now clenching the cheeks of her bum in an attempt to hold off the inevitable. She knew that she should really turn round and go straight back down to make sure Bella wasn't going to do anything really stupid like threaten him or something, but couldn't.

-OG-

Charles was faintly amused that they'd obviously thought he had a hearing problem, that he was deaf or it was maybe that they just didn't realise how much their whispers carried as he'd listened to them and then wondered vaguely who Martin was. For some reason he hadn't even considered the possibility that she was married or that she had a partner, or even that she could maybe have a child, she wasn't wearing a ring of any sort and hadn't mentioned anything, mind you she hadn't said very much at all about anything at all, but the impulse that had led to him offering to wait for the car to arrive now seemed even more stupid. He'd told himself that it would be a wise move and that he should make sure that the driver hadn't taken the money and run because he'd handed over all his credit card details, but wasn't at all sure that that was the whole reason he'd offered to stay and help. Whatever it was, it was a decision he was now bitterly regretting.

It was a very small and exceedingly cluttered room with throws on all the chairs and piles of stuff all over the place, the sort of mess that would drive him fucking insane if he had to live with it, but it was also surprisingly cosy and was warm with a real feeling of home and a fire roaring away in the grate. He supposed it was one of those places that people describe as 'lived in' when what they really mean is that it's a tip, but he was enjoying the feeling of the warmth of the fire as he stood in front of it and picked up and looked at one of the framed photographs that were on the mantelpiece, and on the tops of the crammed bookcases. In fact there were photographs on every flat surface in the room, something he didn't think people did anymore. He'd thought most people had them on their phones these days.

"Mols wanted me to ask you if you wanted a cuppa or something"

The foul-mouthed girl that Meghan had called Bels was standing just inside the door with her hands behind her back looking at him with the type of wariness that suggested she really did think that he was an unpredictable mass murderer who was on the run as she offered to make him a drink in a particularly ungracious tone of voice so that he had to smother the urge to laugh. He immediately put down the photograph he'd been looking at and felt guilty as though he'd been caught prying.

"No I'm fine, thanks ..." He paused and thought for a minute "Who's Mols?"

"Mols ...you know _Mols_... Molly ... me sister ... MOLLY?"

Bella shrugged, who the hell did he think she was talking about? She sidled in and sat on the sofa, all the time being very careful not to turn her back towards him and he realised that she really did think he posed some sort of danger which made his decision to wait out for the recovery truck look more and more dubious as the minutes ticked by. She was staring at him in a sort of menacing silence with her eyes narrowed for all the world as if she was just waiting for him to make his move and he began to hope that the bloody recovery vehicle would turn up before she decided to use whatever she'd got hidden behind her back to strike first and ask questions afterwards. He turned and picked up the photograph he'd been looking at before she'd spoken and looked at in silence for a few moments before holding it out towards Bella.

"Who's this with Meghan... sorry Molly?"

She heaved herself off the sofa and walked slowly and warily over to where he was standing looking at the picture of Meghan and another pretty dark haired girl who were standing at the front of a large group of people. They were all dressed in pale green hospital scrubs and were all laughing at the camera and his first thought was how different she looked with her mass of hair tied back neatly and with a broad, happy grin on her face. Bella obviously didn't trust that he wasn't using it as some sort of ploy to get her to stand near enough for him to strike but then leaned over to look at the photograph and seemed to forget he was going to murder them in their beds or something and to his relief put the large kitchen knife she'd had hidden behind her back down on the seat of the sofa. She reached across to take the photograph off him.

"That's Donna ... she's the one got married today... that's where Mol's was ... the wedding .. they sort of work together, or used to, so this was taken at something at work, some politician slumming it or something ... actually I'm surprised she didn't get shot of that one like she did all the others, she had a bonfire of them ... Donna used to be her best mate until ... well, until something happened ..."

"Right ..." He gulped, thinking that maybe those red rimmed eyes of hers had been more about being upset than being cold and tired "So who's Martin?"

"Martin? He's our little brother ... lives with us because ... well, don't matter why, he just does ... he's seven"

"Lovely" He put the photograph down and picked up another one that was clearly the girl in front of him laughing with a small boy and smiled "Is this him with you?" He put out a hand to shake hers as she nodded and smiled "We haven't been introduced have we, I'm Charles by the way" He paused "And you're Belle?"

"It's Bella actually ... ... you got kids Charles?"

"Yup, one ... a little boy, he's a couple of years older than Martin"

"That's nice"

Molly was halfway down the stairs when she looked over through the open door of the front room and saw how he was looking at her photographs and that he and Bella seemed to be having a lovely little chat and were in fact laughing together as they stood looking at them. It was obvious that they found something a bit funny about the photograph and she felt a swift pang of something or other, she wasn't exactly sure what it was, but all she did know was that she didn't like it that they seemed like they were talking about her or that they seemed to be getting on so well together when he'd been so shitty and horrible to her. Alright she had to admit he'd been kind as well, but he certainly hadn't joked and laughed with her like he was doing with Bels. Her stomach had done this little bit of a swoop when she looked at him laughing with her little sister and had realised that he was even better looking than she thought when he smiled like that and when he wasn't yelling at her.

Charles looked up to see her standing on the stairs watching him and as he looked he saw a tiny tentative smile appear on her face which lit it up in a way that made his own lips want to lift up and smile back, but he forced himself not to respond and to carefully wipe his face clear of any expression. Meghan, or Molly as he had to remember to call her, had swapped her very sexy little black dress for a pair of tight jeans and a football top and had tied her long hair back in a ponytail so that she looked for all the world like some beautiful well-scrubbed teenager, although he knew she had to be older than that if she'd qualified as a nurse, which she obviously had if the photographs were genuine, which he was sure they were. Then as he stood and looked at her he felt this huge jolt of attraction run through him and he immediately forced his focus back to Bella and desperately resisted the urge to look back at Meghan and smile.

But he'd had enough devastation in his life recently to last him the proverbial lifetime so he'd have to be all kinds of stupid to want to invite any more in. He was infinitely relieved when he became aware of the orange flashing lights outside that signalled the arrival of the recovery truck.

-OG-


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: This is for all those lovely people who were kind enough to leave a review (thank you, all of you) and who have said they are hanging out for the next slice of my universe ... Chapter 5 will take a little while as it's only half written, but if I don't publish this soon I'll start tinkering with the delete and edit buttons ... I know, very bad habit ... anyway I hope you enjoy xx**_

-OG-

"Why not?"

"What do you mean, _why not?"_ Charles stared at him as though he was Mansfield Mike and had just asked a particularly stupid question "For fuck sake, she's just some girl I met who was in a spot of bother, most of it her own fault by the way, nothing more ... she's no-one special ... " He gave a short derisory laugh as though the idea struck him as totally ludicrous "And I've got more than enough hassle in my life as it is without going looking for any more"

"Why hassle Charles? I'm not sure I understand ... " He paused as if he was weighing up his words "I'm not for a moment suggesting you should go running off into the sunset with her, I was simply saying that perhaps you might see her as someone who could be a friend ... just a friend, nothing more" He steepled his fingers and looked over the top of his glasses like some sort of benevolent gnome which irritated the fuck out of Charles "There is no reason why it has to be all or nothing you know"

"Nope, not going to happen"

Not for the first time Charles saw Daniel scribble a couple of words on the pad in front of him and wondered what the fuck he'd found to write about, and what the chances were of him ever being able to see what it was he'd written.

"What is it about the thought of this girl that agitates you?"

"Nothing, and I'm not agitated as you put it ... why would I be?"

The one thing that Charles was sure of was that he didn't want to talk about it anymore. The memory of the hurt expression on her face when he'd left to go home after delivering yet another pompous fucking lecture in his best Captain of the British Army voice meant he wasn't exactly proud of himself. Nor was he proud of the unforgiveable comment he'd made about her losing things when she'd asked him to write his number down, and the fact that he hadn't apologised after he'd said it, even though every fibre of his body had wanted to do just that. Instead he'd just shouted farewell to Bella and had turned on his heel and left, cutting off her attempt to thank him once again for his help.

But none of that was any of Daniel's fucking business.

"Just leave it ... okay?" He rubbed his fingers over the back of his neck and tugged at his hair as he stared at the floor between his feet, then looked up "it's really not that important"

"As you wish ... but maybe we'll come back to it later"

Daniel was loathe to let it die completely, it was the one point of contact he'd managed to establish with Charles who was still showing no sign of being prepared to discuss any other, and frankly more important, issues. Daniel was equally loathe to try and shift the focus onto any of them, somehow he knew without a shadow of a doubt that the upshot would be a rapid return to the monosyllabic conversations of the earlier sessions, that's if you could even grace them with that description bearing in mind that they almost exclusively consisted of prolonged silences.

"No ... that is the one thing we certainly won't be doing" He shook his head and the bit his bottom lip as he looked up at Daniel "I've got nothing else to say about it"

 _ **Chapter Four**_

"Right, that's me" Even though the curtains were drawn the rotating orange lights lit up the street outside so he put his hand across to squeeze Bella's arm "Nice to have met you Bella, take care"

"Yeah, nice to meet you 'n all, Charles"

Molly stopped and looked over towards the top of the banister rail to the open door again, _Charles_ , his name was _Charles,_ so how come he'd told Bella that and not her? She should of known it would be something grown up like that, a posh name for a posh bugger that was being dead nice to her little sister and not her, just typical of the good looking ones. _What was it about her that made them act like that_? But she was buggered if she was going to let another bloke see how pissed she was at him, and she was definitely very pissed that he was laughing and being all cosy with Bella when he'd been so arsey with her. She made absolutely sure that she didn't look in his direction and avoided catching his eye as she went to the bottom of the stairs and grabbed a fleece off the crammed coat rack shrugging it on ready to go outside.

Charles' immediate reaction was to wonder who the fuck the fleece belonged to. It was so big on her that there was not the slightest possibility that it was hers or Bella's either come to that, it was so big she was lost in it and judging by the way it was almost down to her knees and that the sleeves were hanging about a foot below her hands, it had to belong to some bloke.

"Just wait out there"

He could hear how curt and clipped his voice was as well as how unbelievably fucking bossy he sounded as he issued an order, but it was suddenly difficult to be relaxed round her and he wanted nothing more than to crack on and get it all sorted as soon as possible, to then get back in his car and put some distance between them. He wanted to get away, to be on his way home even though home wasn't really home anymore and it was where his mother would no doubt be waiting to tear strips off him for missing her fucking dinner party. It was no secret just how much she'd wanted him there, he could hardly have missed it the number of times she'd told him, and he had promised her faithfully that he wouldn't miss it, short of world war three breaking out. But he had done exactly that. Somehow he couldn't see her thinking that stopping to help some girl he didn't know get her car out of a ditch and then taking her home afterwards was an acceptable excuse for not showing up. He chewed at his bottom lip for a minute and then looked down at the pair of over-sized white fluffy Polar Bear slippers that Molly was sporting on her feet and raised his eyebrows.

"Christ, they're no more suitable than those black things were"

"I weren't gonna go out in them was I?" Molly looked down at her feet, horribly aware of the huge difference in the tone of his voice when he was speaking to her to the one he'd been using to talk to Bella and wished that he would just hurry up and go. She could remember now only too clearly why she hadn't liked him when he was first talking to her, not to mention the way he wasn't looking at her when he spoke, or rather whenever he did, it was only to give her a dirty look "I'm not that stupid .. "

He raised his eyebrows again and then scanned slowly up from her feet to her face and shook his head with a look on his face like he thought she was some sort of naughty kid as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip which made her stomach flip over again, but it didn't matter how good looking, how attractive she suddenly thought he was, she could easily get very pissed off with seeing that superior disbelieving expression when he looked at her. He opened the door and went out to join the driver who was now leaning against the cab of his truck smoking a cigarette and not seeming to notice how heavily it had started snowing again so that his fag was getting wet with it as he talked on his mobile as if he'd got all night.

"'ang on, 'ang on a sec ... before you go, I need to know how to find you to pay you back don't I?"

"Let's just deal with one thing at a time, shall we?"

He didn't look back at her, but knew as soon as the words left his mouth that there'd been absolutely no need for him to be quite so brusque and that she had no idea what was making him snap at her the way he was, he wasn't sure he knew that himself. But he wasn't exactly surprised that he could feel a prickling in his neck from the glare she was directing at his back, but still didn't look round to where he knew she was standing in the open doorway watching him. Instead he just joined the driver who was now busy undoing the chains holding the car and nodded a greeting at the man before moving to help him get the ramps down.

"Alright ... so, this do you here then Guv?"

"Good a place as any"

He carried on resolutely not looking back at the house for any sign from Meghan, or rather Molly or in fact from either of the girls that it was an acceptable spot although he knew he should check it out with them, he was being high-handed and knew it, he was making decisions that were not his to make.

Molly narrowed her eyes and glared at his back, the arctic air meaning that her breath was forming a cloud of frozen mist in front of her face as she carried on standing in the open doorway and willed him to look back at her so that he could see how she was simmering with anger, until Bella yelled for her to shut the bloody door for fuck sake. Said she was letting in all the cold and that she could see what was happening just as well out the window without bloody freezing them to bloody death. _How bloody dare he talk to her like that, who did he think he was?_ Not even her boss would do that, and he might have an excuse sometimes. She stood next to Bella and watched as the car was rolled down the ramps to be deposited neatly on the road outside the house and then as Charles chatted and laughed with the fat geezer and signed some papers in exchange for her car keys which he was now jiggling in his hand as he was talking.

"'ere ... why did Charles think your name was Meghan?"

" _Charles"_ Molly knew she had a dead snarky tone in her voice as she rolled his name round her mouth like she had a marble in it and then did her best to emulate his posh tone "I told _Charles_ that that was me name, told him I was Meghan Markle ... Why? And how did you know, was you talking about me to him Bels?"

"Nah, I wasn't ... well alright I was a bit... I just told him your name's Molly not Meghan ... but I think he knew that already ..." Bella sniggered "Why did you tell him that?" She was quiet for a second as she watched Charles put his head back and laugh with the driver "He's alright, inne?"

"You obviously thought so ... thought you thought he was Charles Manson ... and what did you want to go and tell him for?"

"He asked ... anyhow why not? It's not a secret is it? ... And who the fuck is Charles Manson?"

"Hilarious ... but I still don't get why you was talking about me, Bels ... and what the fuck were you gonna do with that thing?" Molly nodded her head towards the kitchen knife that was sitting on the sofa cushion "If you'd ever done anything in the kitchen 'cept for opening take-away or burning a pizza, you'd know it's absolute shit, it wouldn't cut anything"

"Yeah ... but he don't know that does he?"

"You can't go round threatening people with knives Bel, you'll get in trouble"

"Didn't threaten him ... didn't 'ave to" Bella paused and thought for a moment "Anyway I liked him"

"Yeah ... I saw"

There was a silence for a few seconds as both girls considered the implications of what Bella had just said and the tone of Molly's voice as she'd replied.

"He's married you know ... or least I think he is ... he's got a kid bit older than Martin"

"So?"

"Nothin'... just sayin'"

"Well bloody don't"

-OG-

"Just hold for a moment ..." There was a short delay when she could hear voices of people talking in the background "Hello .."

"Can I please speak to Captain James?"

It had taken her a while to get herself geared up to make the call. When he'd written his number on the pad so she could call him and arrange to pay him back, he'd made some bloody smartarsed comment about how he was probably wasting his time, that someone with her track record was likely lose it so he wasn't going to hold his breath, something that had made her even more determined to get the money together as soon as she possibly could, well, short of robbing someone. But despite her best efforts it had taken more than a week to raise the seventy five pounds that she owed him, and then only because she'd managed to get an increase in the credit limit on her card. She had this sort of on-going arrangement with the credit card people where she lied about why she needed the money and they'd know she was lying but would pretend to believe her anyway, and would let her have it, but the amount they'd agreed she could have this time had left her over thirty odd quid short so she'd had to make up the rest with a pay-day loan, something she'd always said she wouldn't touch with a bargepole. But needs must and Bella had no money to speak of either so she just didn't know where else she could get it from, apart from waiting till payday and that was more than two weeks away. It already felt like she was taking liberties with making him wait and that he'd probably think he was right and that she'd lost his number.

"This is Charles James ... Hello Meghan"

"Sorry ... iI can hear you're busy ... and me name's Molly by the way ... not Meghan"

She'd sort of known it was a direct line number he'd given her and that it was him that had answered even before he'd said his name, she'd recognise his voice anywhere and there couldn't be that many of them sounded like him, but she had been dreading actually talking to him so much that she was a tiny bit rattled when he answered so quickly. She hadn't been ready and anyway her brain was flustered so that her carefully rehearsed speech had vanished the minute he'd said anything.

"Yup ... I know" Suddenly he was leaning back in his chair with his feet up on the desk in front of him and with his ankles crossed as he smiled "No... I'm not busy ... well not that busy ... so ... what can I do for you Molly?"

"I wanna know where to send you your money ... and to say I'm sorry it's taken me so long"

"Not that long .. and I told you that there's no rush"

"Yeah .. well I got it now ... so where shall I send it?"

"Have you got a pen and paper handy?"

Her first instinct was to say _now why didn't I think of that_ and to tell him that she hadn't been going to bother writing it down, had just thought she'd try and memorise it instead. Of course she'd got a bloody pen and a bit of paper handy when she was asking someone for an address, she wasn't completely stupid, but it hadn't taken him long to start doing it again. Once again he was talking to her as if she only had one brain cell that worked.

"'ang on a tic, got a crayon 'ere somewhere"

There was a moment's silence as he thought about what she'd said and why she'd said it "Sorry ... being bossy again, it's an occupational hazard I'm afraid" He paused as the remembered jolt of desire went through him at the thought of seeing her again, something that was almost certainly a result of abstinence and then thought about what Daniel had said about the way things didn't always have to be all or nothing.

"I have a feeling that I owe you an apology for some reason, well, I'm sure that I do ...so ...look, tell you what, what do you say to me buying you a drink one evening ... ... and you can give me the money then, it'll save you having to bother posting it?"

"What?... Me?... With you? ... For a drink? ummm dunno ... and you don't owe me an apology"

Molly knew she sounded incredulous, but that was because she was. She was totally gobsnmacked as well as being a bit, well just a tiny little bit pleased. It had been a very long time since anyone had asked if they could take her out for a drink, actually not since long before the tosspot had dumped her for the traitor, who was due back from her bloody honeymoon at the end of the week and Molly would love to have something to look forward to so that she would feel _better_ about herself, when bloody Donna was swanning about the Unit showing off her tan and her bleeding ring mark on her finger. And he was bloody handsome.

"Yeah alright, why not?"

She knew it probably wasn't the most gracious reply to an invitation he'd ever heard but he'd really caught her out, this was the last thing she'd expected.

"Only if you'd like to"

"Sorry that sounded a bit shit ... yeah I'd like that ... but when was you thinking cos I'm on nights rest of this week, back on days next"

"Nights?"

"Yeah ... nights ... I work in the HDU at Musgrave Park ... thought you knew that"

He had known, he remembered now thinking that she couldn't be as young as she looked if she'd qualified, but, well he hadn't known exactly because he'd failed to join the dots between the photograph of the group wearing scrubs and Bella's description of a visit to her workplace by some bigwig. He'd been far too busy pigeon-holing her as someone who spent her working life doing her nails and talking to her mates on her mobile.

"Yep, come to think of it Bella did mention something ... and I think I do owe you an apology, I'm not always such a ... miserable ..." He paused and thought before saying anything else "So how about ... the weekend, Saturday perhaps ... or Sunday if you're not busy ... and not working?"

"Okay ... Saturday would be good" A date on a Saturday night was just what she needed to stop her feeling like a total loser, even if it was just going for a drink with a bloke who thought she was a bit on the dumb side "What time shall I meet you ... and where?"

"I'll pick you up"

"Nah ... you're alright, I'll meet you there ... wherever there is"

There was no way on earth she was going to let him pick her up at home so that Bella could see who it was she was going out for a drink with. Her sister would think it was dead funny and would hang about in the hallway smirking as well as poking fun at her, and would be saying things that would end up being dead embarrassing. It was only after she'd put the phone down and went in the kitchen to start the tea that she realised she'd forgotten all about what Bella had said about him maybe being married, he hadn't said, but then she hadn't asked. She'd just have the one drink with him like they'd arranged and would give him his money back and then say something about being dead grateful for his help but that she didn't mess with married men.

-OG-


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: As promised, back to the Rescue and the date that's not a date ... thank you everyone for the kind comments and lovely reviews, I hope that you enjoy this and haven't completely forgotten all about how they got here ... I hope to get Chapter 6 out in a few days (when I've finished actually writing it) RL and other projects which I feel equally passionate about keep getting in the way ... xx**_

 _ **-OG-**_

"How much do you think luck has played a part in recent events ... I mean have you ever considered just how much the outcome was purely down to a matter of chance ...?"

"How do you mean?" Even Charles could hear how wary he sounded as he answered, he wasn't sure where Daniel was going with this but it sounded to him horribly like he was heading in the direction of therapy-speak again.

"Well, what do you think I mean ... ... you said you believed Lady Luck had smiled on you and Meghan, sorry keep forgetting, you and Molly, this time and it was what helped her escape unscathed despite the situation"

"Look ... everything in life is a matter of chance, isn't it? ... Everything ... who our parents are and where we're born, ... where we live and even how we earn our living ... who we meet and who we fall in love with ... and for that matter who we eventually marry ... everything ... it's all a matter of chance ... luck "

"Right ... so if something _had_ happened to her, if she'd been hurt ... or worse ... and it was because you hadn't happened to come along that particular stretch of road at that particular moment, that would have been what? Just the inevitability of fate perhaps ... or bad luck ...?" Daniel paused as though he was weighing up every word "There are things that happen that we cannot influence no matter how much we want to or how hard we try" He paused again and thought for a moment then looked at Charles over the top of his glasses "Sometimes even when we do everything in our power to prevent things going wrong, we simply don't succeed because there was an element of luck needed and that luck just wasn't with us"

"No that's not what I'm saying ... well, not exactly ... I mean, sometimes even when you are supposed to be in complete control of a situation things happen that should never happen if you're doing your job properly ... when luck shouldn't enter into it, I was in charge, it was my fucking responsibility and I fucked up"

"What are we talking about here? The situation with Meghan, sorry Molly ... or what happened with Elvis Harte?"

"I should have stopped him ... should never have let him go up on that roof"

The silence was profound as Daniel sat and looked at him steadily and waited for Charles to elaborate on what he'd said, something he was equally determined he was not going to do. Just for a moment he'd allowed his guard down and had done what he'd vowed he'd never do, he'd talked about the part he'd played in Elvis' death, he'd allowed his guilt to show.

 _ **Chapter Five**_

"Where you going?"

"Do I look okay?"

"Nah ...you look shit ... but where you going ... and who with?"

"No-one you know"

"Come on, you know you gotta tell me" Bella adopted the most wheedling tone of voice that was in her not inconsiderable repertoire as she lay on Molly's bed with her arms folded behind her head watching her get ready "You know what Nan says about how we always have to tell someone where we're going when we go out?" Bella raised her eyebrows hopefully "And we 'ave to say who we're going with 'n all don't we?" She stopped and suddenly pulled an appalled face as a possible reason for Molly's reticence struck her "Oh fuck it's not him is it, please tell me it's not the Tosspot?"

Molly was scrutinising herself doubtfully in the mirror, she had a horrible feeling that even though Bella was just being her usual self and winding her up, she was right, she did look a bit shit. She looked like she hadn't slept for a week which was pretty much true, she didn't sleep well during the day so was pale with dark rings under her eyes. Work had been really busy and this was her first night off in nearly a week and the flu epidemic had meant they were rushed off their feet and had to ,keep shifting people about all the time to make space for people who were even more fucked needing a bed in the Unit, and then shifting them on as soon as they looked like surviving so as to let more people in, so they'd been rushing about like blue-arsed flies most the time. But even though she was totally shattered, she hadn't for a single second thought about cancelling, well, not seriously, even though every time she'd thought about tonight she'd got these massive butterflies but wasn't entirely sure whether that was because she was looking forward to it or dreading it.

The whole week had been the sodding nightmare she'd thought it was going to be, worse if anything. She usually liked her job when they were really rushed, it made the time go by quick and she liked the feeling of really helping someone, but not only had they been run off their bloody feet but it had been made even harder when Donna had come back to work and had been all _nice_ to her all the time, had kept on giving her these little smiles and patting her on her arm as if she was dead sorry for her. And then she'd be in the middle of little huddles and would stop talking the minute Molly appeared which made her feel even more shit, not that she wanted to hear about their honeymoon, but still ... . It would have been even worse without something to look forward to. She'd done her best to keep looking all 'couldn't give a shit' and to keep smirking as though she'd got a secret making her happy even though if she was being honest she still gave several very large shits but she was buggered if she was going to let it show. And she'd told a couple of the others that she had a hot date for Saturday night with a really good looking bloke and that they were going to the Castle for a drink. Well the Castle bit was true and the good-looking bit was also true even if the hot date was a bit debateable, and there was no need for any of them to know she was bothered that he might be married so she hadn't told anyone that bit, but what she had known full well was that they'd waste no time in running back to tell Donna, which was the whole point.

But she had wanted to look all sexy and pretty and a whole lot of other things which weren't going to happen, not with only having the choice of her black dress and Bella's black shoes which she wasn't even sure she could walk in properly and her looking like death warmed over the way she did. And she was horribly afraid that the tosspot might have been right, that the dress did make her look _sturdy._

"Nah, it is NOT ... what do you take me for? Even if he was the last bloke on earth and had had a face and a personality transplant, I still wouldn't ... I'll never be that bleeding desperate"

"What's the big secret then?"

"What ... you telling me you always tell the exact truth about where you're going .. and who with?"

"Yeah I do ... well, mostly"

"Nah you bloody don't ... alright, alright ... there's no secret, I'm going to the Castle"

"What the _Castle? The Hotel_? That one?" Bella gave an incredulous giggle and widened her eyes as much as she could manage "What for? ... Oh wait, don't tell me you're going for a fuck and duck ... you are, aren't you .. well if it isn't with the tosspot then who is the lucky bloke?"

"Nah I'm not ... .. it'll be a bleeding long time before I take me knickers off for anyone ever again ... and then only if I'm completely sure he's not gonna duck out ... not like some people"

"I didn't think Tosspot was like that ... well, that he didn't used to be"

Bella had deliberately misconstrued what Molly meant when she alluded to people who had a one-night stand and then ran, preferring to pretend she thought she was talking about her ex and not her, after all she hadn't had one for quite a while.

"Well, he was ... but I weren't talking about him actually, but I know now that he only stopped with me cos I was a sure thing when he wanted to get his leg over ... and that's not love is it? Then when something better come along he fucked off ... and that's never gonna happen to me again ..."

"Nah ... well if you say so..."

"I do ... even if it means I'm never going near anyone ever again ... and the Castle was the only place I could think of when he asked me where I wanted to meet .. it's near work innit so I go past every day on the bus" She paused and shrugged "'n we're going for a drink and it's got a bar"

"So you'll be home later, then? Just a date, couple of drinks and then home ... you won't be stopping?" Bella shook her head as if she didn't quite believe what she was hearing.

"I just said didn't I? And I'm only having one drink so probably be home by ten" Molly twisted round as if she was trying to see her back view but in reality was doing everything she could to avoid meeting Bella's eyes "And it's not a date"

"You know, Mols, I got this little voice in me nut keeps telling me you might be gonna meet that Charles"

"What? Nah... course not ... why would you think that?"

"I dunno ... but you know something, you are such a bleeding crap liar"

"I'm not .. I'm not lying ..."

"Yeah you are ... but what I don't get is why you'd lie 'bout it ... he's not exactly a _fugly_ is he ... ?"

Bella suddenly had a distinct memory of telling Charles something about what had happened between Molly and Donna, although she was now wracking her brains trying to remember exactly what it was she'd said to him. If Molly was meeting him, and Bella had a horrible feeling that no matter how much she denied it that's who her sister was planning on meeting with, then she could only keep her fingers crossed that he wouldn't say anything because Molly would fucking kill her if she knew she'd opened her big mouth and told him stuff.

"Look ... alright, yeah okay, I am meeting him but it's just so I can give him his money back ... that's it ... nothing else ... it's not a date and I didn't say cos I knew you'd make a big deal of it, and it's not"

"I wouldn't lie about it if it was me had a date with him ... can I come?"

"Told you, it's not a fucking date, how many more times? I'm just gonna give 'im his money, and nah you bloody can't"

"Why not? If it's not a date and it's not a fuck and duck I won't be in the way, will I?"

"Yeah ... you will and anyway you've gotta stay here and look after Martin ... " Molly thought for a second and then said the words that their Nan used to say when she was sick of arguing with them and wanted the final word, something that had driven them both insane when they still lived at home "'n cos I said so"

"Tell you what ..." Bella ignored that and carried on winding her up "You could stop home and look after Martin 'n I could go and meet him for you and I'll give him ..." Bella winked suggestively and then rolled onto her front, before resting her chin on her hands and smirking "His money ..."

"Nah"

-OG-

For some reason he'd got there far too early and the longer he sat and waited and nursed his half pint of beer the slower the time passed until he began to get more and more convinced that she wasn't going to turn up, not that he could blame her exactly, thinking about it he really had been a bit of a shit to her last time their paths had crossed. And he had no idea now why he asked her out for a drink let alone why she'd told him she would meet him, because regardless of what bloody Daniel thought, meeting her like this was probably a mistake of epic proportions. This was the girl who'd asked him who'd pissed in his Coco-Pops and had looked at him as if he was going to molest her when all he'd been trying to do was protect her from the worst of her own fucking stupidity, but since then he hadn't been able to wipe her from his mind and no matter what he'd told that nosy bastard Daniel, he did want to see her again. He did want to spend a few hours talking to a very pretty girl when there was no history between them to get in the way, where there was no emotional involvement and definitely no hidden agenda. He was tired of feeling too old and too tired and too jaded. On the other hand she was so late now that it was starting to look a bit doubtful that he'd even get to share one drink with her, let alone get a chance to talk and tell her how sorry he was for the way he'd kicked off at her.

-OG-

Oh bollocks, she hadn't realised that there was more than one bloody bar in the place, something she'd have known if she'd taken the time to think about it, because it would make sense when there were at least two restaurants or dining rooms or whatever they called them and they both had bars attached and the place was all sprawling and sort of country-ish with places for people to sit and chat and there were lots of little stairways and nooks and crannies and she'd been walking round the bloody place for ages. And the bars she did find were so dark she couldn't see who was in them except if she walked right in and peered at the people sitting having a quiet drink, which she did, so they must have her down as some sort of nut job when she'd wanted to look all smooth and sophisticated and as if this was the sort of place she went to all the time, instead of looking like some lost bloody drowned rat. It was taters and hammering down and she hadn't been able to find her umbrella, she hadn't got a fucking clue what she'd done with it, and she'd also realised what a long walk it was from the bus stop to the hotel, something she hadn't known before.

But now as she stood and looked round yet another room full of shadows and tables with people chatting it was slowly beginning to dawn on her that he might have stood her up or that she was so late that he might have got pissed off with waiting and gone, she couldn't see him anywhere and people were starting to give her more funny looks as she stood there looking round like she was a stray who'd wandered in off the street and was lost. She was really beginning to wish that she'd stayed home and had curled up on the sofa with a glass of something like she usually did on her first night off, she could be watching crap tele right now and eating her way through a bowl of pop corn with Martin.

He could see the uncertainly on her face as her eyes skimmed over him obviously not recognising him as she stood in the doorway wearing that sexy black dress of hers with her hair all loose and shiny and he instantly changed his mind about her being a pretty girl that he'd wanted to spend a few hours with, she wasn't pretty, despite the anxious look on her face, she was _beautiful_.

"Hey ... I was beginning to think you weren't coming"

He'd dodged round the tables and walked quickly over and the minute she saw him that same tentative smile he'd seen before when she'd been on the stairs at her house lit up her face with happy relief which gave him a warm feeling inside. It had been a very long time since anyone had looked quite so _pleased_ to see him. He felt a surge of pleasure go through him as he smiled back and then bent his head to kiss her cheek.

"You look lovely ... if slightly damp ..."

"Sorry ... 'n sorry I'm so late ... who knew this place was so bloody big, I've been here ages looking for the right place ... "

"Never mind you're here now" He smiled and put his hand in the middle of her back to guide her to the table that still had his glass with the dregs of beer in the bottom "Do I take it then that you've never been here before?"

"Me? Here? Nah ..." Molly looked round at the decor and at the little tables with the quiet people enjoying sitting quietly drinking and chatting with no-one making a show of themselves, with no-one pissed out their nut even though it was a Saturday night "Looks like a nice place though dunnit?"

"Indeed ... here let me take your coat for you"

"It's a bit wet ... " She let him help take it off for her and handed it to him "It's raining"

Oh shit, that was definitely her watermelon moment. She'd just done a bloody great job of stating the bleeding obvious but was actually at a bit of a loss to know quite what to say to him, he looked so different from the miserable shouty-arse soldier that she'd been expecting. His pale blue shirt was really nice and really, really suited him and made him look years younger and he'd got just enough stubble to make him even better looking than she remembered, but not enough to look scruffy and as though he hadn't bothered to have a shave. She wondered for a minute if she could get away with taking a photo on her phone without him noticing, the girls on the Unit would be well impressed, not to mention Bella who would be pig sick with jealousy. She didn't quite know why she'd expected him to look the same as he had when he'd rescued her and to be wearing that army stuff, of course he wasn't going out for a drink wearing it any more than she'd go to the pub wearing scrubs, but if she'd thought he was a bit attractive before, well, a lot attractive once he'd quit yelling at her and before he'd gone back to being all arsey, now that he'd smiled and looked all pleased to see her and those dark brown eyes of his had all crinkled up, she could see what Bella had been talking about.

"What can I get you to drink Molly?"

What she'd really like was a bucketful of Vodka to help her to relax a bit, alright so that she'd be flying, but knew it was a very bad idea when she was as tired as she was and when she hadn't eaten a whole lot before she'd come out to meet him. She always lost her appetite a bit when she was on nights and her days and nights were fucked, but she'd been a bit too nervous to eat that much anyway.

"Can I have a red wine please?"

"Anything in particular?"

"Nah, anything will do"

Oh bloody wonderful, now she'd made herself sound like some alky who'd drink anything, didn't matter what, just give her a bottle and a straw. Oh fuck, why couldn't she just calm down a bit? She took a deep breath and pulled the envelope out of her bag and passed it over to him. She was bloody glad to get shot of it, it had been burning a hole in her pocket so that she'd been slightly paranoid for days, afraid that she'd either lose it or would put it down somewhere and misplace it somehow before she could give it to him.

"'ere, before you do anything else, and before I forget I think you'd better 'ave this"

"Thanks" He took the envelope and slipped it in his jacket pocket without looking at it, let alone opening it.

"Aren't you gonna count it?"

"Nope ..." He lifted an eyebrow in the way that she remembered so well, although this time he didn't look pissed at her "Is there any reason why I should ... I mean, I presume it's all there and I don't want everyone in the place watching me open an envelope and count money that you've just given me, they'll think I'm a drug dealer and that you've just scored"

"What?"

He was still standing the table about to go and get her drink, but put his head back and started to laugh at the wide-eyed expression of shock on her face, she really hadn't thought he had a sense of humour. Well, he hadn't seemed to find anything in the least bit funny last time she'd seen him, but the way he was laughing at her was very infectious and made her catch her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to control the giggle that was bubbling up inside until she gave up and laughed with him.

"Can I change me mind and get a Vodka instead?"

"Of course you can"

-OG-

Half a large glass of Vodka later and she was finally managing to get the butterflies that were having a bleeding party in the pit of her stomach or maybe slightly lower down than that, more under control as he sat back and smiled at her and sipped at his drink without taking his eyes off hers and without saying anything. He just looked like he was happy and relaxed, which was more than she was.

"I'm guessing you don't come from round her originally then Molly?"

"Whatever give you that idea?" She was smiling back at him the same way he was smiling at her, but then started giggling "Nah, I'm from east Ham believe it or not" She was suddenly aware that she was behaving like some silly giggly teenager and needed to remember that she was going to be sophisticated and smooth, but then somehow her words escaped her mouth before her brain was fully engaged "What give it away, was it me bloody sister and her big gob?"

"I liked Bella"

"Yeah ... I saw"

-OG-

 _ **Footnote 1: For those who haven't come across it before, a 'fuck and duck' is shorthand for a one night stand and getting away as quickly as you can afterwards.**_

 _ **Footnote 2: A 'fugly' is a contraction of fucking ugly.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Thank you so much for sticking with this and for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter, I hope that you can still remember what it was all about and that you enjoy the date ... and thank you to the people who took the time and trouble to message me to encourage me to get a move on and update .. xx**_

-OG-

"Let's just take a few minutes to have a look at what actually happened that day ... and why you think there was anything you could have done differently to change the ultimate outcome"

"I should have stopped him, it was my fucking responsibility"

"How exactly?"

"It was my operation, my section"

"No I meant, how exactly could you have stopped him going up on that roof, I'm just curious to know and how you could possibly have known that an explosive device had been planted up there... and that someone was waiting to trigger it" He thought for a moment and made a steeple shape with his fingers, something that always pissed Charles off, but then pursed his lips with his head on one side and looked steadily at him "And what I'd also like to know is why you're so sure that Harte would have listened to you if you had tried to stop him, what I'm asking is how good was he at taking orders from you? Would he have done as he was told?"

"I should have made him listen"

"So you knew what was about to happen ... what was waiting on that roof?"

"Of course not ... but even so ... my responsibility"

Charles knew he was stubbornly sticking to what he'd believed, well what he'd been telling himself ever since it had happened, but he didn't want to face the fact that he didn't know the answers to the questions that Daniel had just thrown in the ring, although he knew in his heart that truthfully he was pretty uncertain that he could ever have stopped Elvis doing anything that he'd set his mind on. He had never been one to take orders from him, not without a hell of a lot of arguing anyway.

"I think that might be a good place to break for the time being, it'll give you a chance to think about it before we discuss it further ... so ... now, how has everything else been, did you ever get your money back from ... um ...Molly?"

"Indeed ... actually I met her last Saturday ... took her out for a drink" He saw Daniel's eyebrows shoot up almost to his hairline as though he was surprised, even a bit shocked, but then Charles had forgotten that the last time they'd talked about her he had been absolutely adamant that he couldn't possibly ever consider having her as a friend. But he was more than happy to talk about her now rather than discuss the day that Elvis flew off that fucking building "She's actually not as ... irresponsible as I had assumed ... in fact she's not flaky at all, she has a very responsible job as a staff nurse on the High Dependency Unit at Musgrave Park ...so..."

"And obviously not quite as young as you thought either?" Daniel didn't wait for his reply to what was a fairly rhetorical question "So, do I take it from the smile on your face that you enjoyed spending some time with her?"

"It was okay"

 **Chapter Six**

"Right ... here, give me your glass"

"Nah, s'alright I'll get these, it's my turn"

Molly had picked up her glass to take another swig only to find it was virtually empty and that she seemed to have finished it in record time so put the glass down and stood up gesturing towards his, ready to go to the bar. As she stood up she felt herself start to sway a bit so was suddenly horribly aware that lack of food and no sleep meant she really should slow down a bit unless she wanted to end up fast asleep with her head on the table or even worse under it.

"Of course it's not, don't be ridiculous ...give me your glass"

He picked up both glasses and went off to get them refilled without waiting for her to argue the toss about it anymore, something she wasn't exactly unhappy about if she was being totally honest. She'd got enough money left from the payday loan to stand her round, standing your round was an essential bit of pub etiquette where she came from, well except for her dad who was always happy to drink other people's money because he never had any of his own, but she only had enough to pay for one round, and then only if the prices hadn't been hiked too much. She'd heard they put huge mark-ups on the booze in places like this and she didn't really fancy having to walk home in the pissing rain, although she would if she had to.

"What made you want to be a nurse Molly?"

He'd sat back down and was back to smiling at her again as he sipped at his glass of what looked to her like fizzy water and she took a more ladylike sip than she had been doing from her fresh Vodka and Coke.

"Dunno ... just always wanted to be Florence Nightingale I s'pose, or that blonde one, Barbara something or other before she went to EastEnders" She could see from his face that he had no clue what she was talking about "Right from when I was a very little kid 'n I used to put bandages on me toys and ... then on me little brothers" She stopped and thought back and giggled at a memory "Bella and Jade wouldn't let me, and they wouldn't let me pretend to take their temperatures either ... except if I paid them ... and then I got accepted and started training ... had to work really hard to get in cos I messed it up a bit at school, you know, ballsed up me exams 'n that, but then when I qualified I ended up getting a job here"

"What, you didn't train here?"

"Nah, trained in London ... the Royal London, it's in Whitechapel so not too far from home ... what 'bout you?"

"Nope, I can honestly say I've never trained to be a nurse anywhere"

"Idiot ... shame, think you'd look good in a frilly hat ... " She giggled, the Vodka had begun to hit her system and was helping her calm down a bit as she fervently hoped he no longer thought he was having a drink with some lunatic nut bar on speed and that he'd noticed her mouth wasn't running away with her quite as bad as it had been, as long as she didn't calm down too much and end up yawning till her eyes watered because she was so bleeding tired "I meant what made you wanna be a soldier?"

"I didn't think you wore those hats anymore ..." He laughed and shook his head "I suppose like you, I'd always wanted one thing, except in my case it was to be in the army, ever since I was at school and joined the cadet corps it was all I ever really wanted to do, right through school and then University so that eventually I went to Sandhurst"

"We wear them caps when we graduate ... glad we don't have to wear them all the time, they're a fu ... bloody nightmare to keep on your head without about a million hair grips ... so is Sandhurst where you learn to be a what was it you said you were when you was being all annoyed with me, a Captain in the British army?"

"Something like that ... and I wasn't annoyed with you ... a tad concerned that you seemed to think I was going to murder you or something ..."

"Sorry ... I was being a bit of a fuckwit but I'd had a bad day ... so, was being in the army like you thought it was gonna be?"

"I hadn't had the best day either ... and you know, I could ask you the same question"

"I never said I was in the army" She smirked and then giggled as he said 'Touche'.

"Yeah mostly I s'pose ... pretty much ...I mean sometimes you spend hours up to your neck in all sorts of body fluids" Molly giggled at the expression on his face and at the way he shuddered "And they're always other people's 'n all ..." She giggled again at the distaste on his face "But then once you get over being squeamish, it's alright ... and we're always busy so there's something different going on all the time ... never gets boring ... what about you?"

"I always used to think being in the army was the best job in the world"

"What and you don't now?"

There was a sudden silence as he looked away from her and then down at his drink and Molly tried to think what on earth had just happened. They'd been chatting and laughing, even flirting a little bit, and then he'd suddenly started using that clipped tone of voice as though she'd annoyed him or something and that miserable look was back on his face again, the one that she recognised from the night they'd met when he was being bloody horrible to her or at least she'd thought he was. She had no idea what the fuck she'd done or what she could say to get back to the lovely smiley chat they'd been having and didn't feel like she could ask him anything else about why he'd changed his mind about his job in case it sounded like she was interrogating him or interviewing him for a job or something. She didn't want to sound like she was doing that " _what are your strengths and weaknesses"_ crap where you have to make something up and the more she thought about it the more she desperately wanted to giggle. Jesus she really had got to pace herself a bit better if even something like that was starting to look a bit funny, funny haha, not funny peculiar, she wasn't pissed enough for that yet. But there was this insistent little Vodka driven voice in her head that kept saying "Ask him, go on ask him, you really have got to ask him, you know you want to, ask him what he's done with his wife while he's here with you" and reminding her that she couldn't just keep on waiting for him to say whether he'd got one tucked away somewhere. Anyway in her experience blokes never ever did that if they were chatting her up, and until he'd gone all quiet on her, she was fairly sure that was what he'd been doing, what they'd both been doing.

"So ... your wife happy about you being in the army is she?"

"Who?" He bit his lip and then grinned "Hardly ... do you really think I'm lucky enough to have the kind of wife who would let me go out for a drink with someone who looks like you? Nope ..." He put his head back and laughed which made the butterflies in her stomach start to jig about again "I haven't got a wife Molly ... well that's not strictly true, I should say I haven't got one anymore, that I used to have one but we're almost divorced now, so she doesn't care what I do she's too busy trying to bury me ... when she's finished trying to bankrupt me. I was a big disappointment to her, she kept telling me that I was no good at the kind of life she wanted and she was right and then she got sick of me letting her down ... I suppose Bella told you that, did she?"

"Nah, It's just my miraculous powers of being a detective ... well okay, she might have said something but not that exactly, I mean, I don't think you told her but you did tell her you had a kiddie, and she thought that probably meant you had a wife somewhere because she reckoned she couldn't see you putting it about ..." She suddenly heard the words that were coming out of her mouth and tried to stop, god, she'd be qsking him about his sex life in a minute, she really had to stop talking out of the top of her head "So what sort of life did she want then?"

"Who Bella .. or my wife?" Molly pulled a face at his lame attempt at a joke "Settled, that's what she said, but I was bloody useless at it ... she said that a lot as well"

"Were you? That's a shame ... ?"

"Not really, we were tearing each other to bits most of the time ... I do miss Sam though"

"He your little boy?"

"Yup ... really miss seeing him all the time, although there were long periods when I was away so I should be used to it" He took a swallow of his fizzy water "He lives with his mum now ... but he's always going to be a big part of my life" For a moment Molly could see from the fleeting expression that crossed his face just how much it all hurt, well that was until he hid behind the stern mask again "Is that right that your little brother lives with you?"

"Bella and her big gob again?"

"Yep fraid so"

"Yeah Mar'in lives with us ... it was only s'posed to be for a little bit until things got sorted but I dunno ...not sure what's gonna happen in the end ... we'd miss him if he went back home now"

Molly didn't want to tell him about her hopelessly dysfunctional family and about what had gone on just after she'd started her new job and moved to Taunton with Bella in tow but then found herself doing it anyway. It usually felt to her as if she was describing a family that were only a couple of steps from ending up as star turn on Jeremy Kyle, that they were prime examples of people living shitty little lives, or rather making a mess of things but without the DNA tests and lie detectors. Nan, bless her, had done her best and had moved in to look after everything at the same time as trying not to kill her dad, but the social workers had decided they wanted to put Martin into a foster home because of Nan's age and there being the others, and that was going to happen over Molly's dead body. So she'd jumped through hoops with the social and had finally got them to agree she could take him on and look after him for a bit, well, her and Bella together. And it had sort of become their normal now even though her mum was back home again and doing a bit better on the anti-depressants, but Martin didn't want to go back to east Ham. He loved it where he was and he loved his school and it didn't matter what they said underneath he was scared he'd be going back to the way things had been before everything had kicked off. Poor little bleeder hadn't understood why his mum had suddenly started refusing to get up out of bed and why she never even had a wash for days on end and why she was crying all the time.

Molly didn't want to tell Charles either about having a dad who had been no fucking use at all and who had just spent all his time hiding in the pub whinging to whoever would listen to him about how hard his life was, but then found herself doing that as well.

"He's lucky he's got you, Martin I mean not your dad"

"Nah, nah he's not ... it's not like that, it's family innit?"

Charles thought how different it was to his own family. He'd spent his childhood at boarding school so the house in Bath was somewhere that exerted no real emotional pull on him at all, it had just been somewhere he went for the holidays where he was usually lonely for anyone to play with, but which looked great when it was decorated at Christmas, even if that was mainly for the benefit of his father's business colleagues who always attended the Boxing Day party. Still, Sammie loved it all, the tree and the lights and the garlands were perfect for a little boy, as it had been perfect for him when he was Sam's age, and he could only hope that Rebecca wouldn't stop him being there or at least visiting over Christmas. If Charles was being completely honest he hadn't got that much emotional pull to either of his parents either, and he very much doubted that they'd say that they had to him. They'd always been far too busy to give him much time when he was a kid, and now he prided himself on his lack of emotional involvement with them, in fact with anything that had to do with the family, with the obvious exception of Sam, something that had driven Rebecca insane. But now for some completely unfathomable reason as soon as he was unencumbered, as his mother called it, she was busy doing her absolute best to pair him off with a succession of women that he had no intention whatsoever of getting involved with. God alone knew why she wanted to orchestrate him getting re-attached to anyone because she hadn't been the tiniest bit interested in Rebecca, but it did mean that he and his mother were playing an extended game of cat and mouse.

"Give me your glass" He went to get up to get her a refill which Molly knew would be an exceptionally bad idea, getting pissed out of her brains was hardly the way to go if you want to impress someone, which she'd just realised was what she was trying to do "Same again?"

"Nah thanks, better not ... not unless you're gonna carry me out of here"

"Now there's an interesting idea"

She felt the blush as it started to creep up from somewhere round her knees and wished it was darker where they were sitting, he must be able to see her neck had gone all mottled and that her cheeks were scarlet. It had always been a bit of a curse that she was the only one of the three of them that blushed so easy, neither Bella nor Jade ever seemed to get embarrassed at all or uncomfortable no matter what. Nan always called them a pair of brazen hussies which just made them giggle.

"You know what I mean" Molly looked at her watch and was surprised to find it had gone eleven, she had no idea where the evening had gone or realised that it was getting late so if she wasn't careful she was going to miss the last bus "I'd better be going, I told Bella I'd be back by ten"

"What, you thought you were going to be that bored?"

"Nah, nah course not, it weren't that, god I never thought that, never thought you was going to be boring or anything" She could hear her mouth flapping and wished he'd stop grinning at her "I just thought I was going to meet you and hand over the money and then bingo, back on the bus home, I mean, it wasn't as if I thought I'd be bored ... it wasn't like it was a date or anything was it?" She was still coming out with things without the filter operating between her brain and her gob, something that only usually happened when she was either very tired or exceptionally pissed but never usually after just a couple of Voddies "Oh sorry, I honestly didn't mean to be rude or anything ..."

"I know ..." He was definitely laughing at her again, something she would normally get offended at but which for some reason didn't seem to be upsetting her at all "Come on Cinderella, get your shoes back on and let's get you home"

As usual she'd kicked off her shoes under the table. It was a habit she'd first got into when she'd been a student at Whitechapel and had done her first stints on the wards, her feet had always been killing her at the end of the day so she used to kick her shoes off first chance she got, even on the bus, but it did mean she now had to scrabble round looking for them.

"They're not mine ... they're Bella's .. mine got a bit buggered a couple of weeks back when we had some snow ..."

Oh fuck, she was unnerved again so that her mouth was running and telling him things that he wouldn't be interested in in a million years, there was nothing remotely interesting or funny or anything else about her wearing someone else's shoes.

"I remember ... tell me Meghan what is it with you and shoes?"

"Nothin'... I 'aven't got a problem with shoes, I were just a bit unlucky" She looked up at him as he held her coat to help her on with it and thought again how bloody good looking he was, especially when he smiled the way he was smiling down at her and then giggled "You just called me Meghan"

"Did I?" He put his hand on the small of her back where it felt to Molly as though it was burning through all the layers of clothes she was wearing as he steered her in the direction of the doorway "I think I was the one who was very lucky"

"What?"

"Never mind"

-OG-

"Come on ... get in the car, I'm getting soaked here"

"You don't need to take me 'ome, I'll be fine on the bus" She wasn't even sure that the busses were still running "It's not a big deal"

"Just get in the bloody car ... or are you going to do me out of the opportunity of seeing your sister again? ... I'd like to see if she always welcomes people with a bread knife behind her back"

"Can't be too careful" Molly giggled "And it weren't a bread knife ... it was a carving knife"

"Lovely ... that makes all the difference"

-OG-


	7. Chapter 7

Years of practice meant no outward signs showed of the skin crawling irritation that flooded him as soon as Daniel began rifling through disorganised heaps of papers on his desk. He was pretending to look for his notes, but Charles knew that he would have been planned the session with pin-point attention to detail so all the bloody play-acting wasn't fooling him for a second. Like a great many of the things Daniel did, it was purely for effect not to mention bloody annoying.

"Ah ... now ...yes ... Kabul?"

There was just the tiniest hint of impatience in his voice as he raised his eyebrows and looked at Charles over the top of his glasses. It sounded as if he was getting tired of looking at a poker face and was definitely getting tired of Charles' determination not to talk to him about what had happened in Kabul.

"You told me during one of our earlier sessions that you should have stopped him, that it was your responsibility"

"Did I?"

"Yep.. " Daniel looked down and read from his notes "Those were your exact words"

All Charles wanted to tell him was to back the fuck off and leave him alone. He didn't care what Daniel thought, he was buggered if he was going to sit there and relive the moment he'd scooped what was left of his best friend into a body bag. It was all still too fucking raw. He wasn't sure he'd be able to talk about it without crying his eyes out the same way he had when he'd finally been alone after it happened and there was no way he was going to do that and feed Daniel with material for one of his fucking annoying _notes._

Time wasn't lending any distance to the whole thing, the slow motion replays of that day were still haunting his dreams even now, more than a year on, it was still as if he was watching it happen in front of him for the first time. Remembering wasn't the difficult part, forgetting was the luxury he craved.

"I don't know what it is you want me to say, there is nothing I _can_ say, what happened that day speaks for itself"

"Maybe ... but... tell me, would he have obeyed if you _had_ issued him with an order?"

"I really couldn't say" Charles ran his hand over the back of his neck "And he's not here to ask is he?"

But he was lying. The one thing he knew for certain was that Elvis would have taken absolutely no bloody notice at all. He'd have laughed and gone up there anyway. That was Elvis, convinced of his own immortality.

"No ... sadly he's not, but you are ... tell me, was he in the habit of obeying orders?"

Charles shrugged and muttered something under his breath as Daniel leaned back in his chair and began to twirl his pen in his index fingers. It was a tactic Charles knew only too well from when he'd done the same thing himself.

"Tell me Charles what do you know about survivor guilt?"

Charles shrugged again and bit back the sarcastic comment that was on the tip of his tongue. He had no doubt that Daniel was about to share his pearls of wisdom on the topic regardless of whether he said he knew all about it or not, and of course he'd heard of it, had just never considered it in relation to death on active service. He had some vague notion that it was about feelings of shame or guilt if you escaped a train wreck or walked away from a hostage situation unscathed when others weren't quite so lucky. But it was irrelevant in this situation because this had been none of those things and hanging a label on it, giving it a name, didn't change what had happened. It had been as a result of a massive error of judgement on his part. He'd made a mistake of epic proportions when he put his trust in someone he thought he knew well but hadn't seen for years, and Elvis had paid for it with his life.

"I understood the enquiry didn't find you in any way culpable" Daniel began to rifle through the papers on his desk again "If you hang on a second, I've got a copy here somewhere"

"No need ... it didn't ... not as such ... but that doesn't mean it wasn't my fault. You know as well as I do it doesn't follow that I wasn't responsible, and anyway they made a point of telling me they went easy because he was a close friend of mine ... but it doesn't actually matter what they said Daniel, they knew and I knew that it was indeed my fault, it was my job to keep everyone safe, not to get them killed"

"Would you like to explain exactly what you mean by that?"

"What?" Charles shrugged and looked down at his hands.

"It was an interesting choice of words, in what way exactly did you ... _get_ ... him killed? You've told me Harte wouldn't have listened if you had ordered him not to go up on that roof ..."

"I don't remember telling you anything of the sort"

"Don't you? I think you did, maybe not in so many words but ... well in that case maybe you'd like to clarify it a bit for me..."

There was a prolonged silence as Charles contemplated just getting to his feet and walking out. It was either that or giving into temptation and hitting something, or someone, but hitting Daniel wasn't an option however much he'd like to at that moment, well not unless he wanted to lose the little bit of his career he had left. Walking away wasn't an option either. There would inevitably come a point when he'd be forced to return and face it all over again, if not with Daniel then with someone else, and anyway he couldn't just walk out on the crushing weight of guilt he had at the vivid memories of that day.

"It's been almost a year now, so who else have you talked to about this?"

Charles shook his head as Daniel thought, not for the first time, just what a solitary person he was.

"I don't think any of my family would be _... interested_ " He snorted a sceptical laugh down his nose at the thought of the way that little scenario would play out and considered telling Daniel that they wouldn't give a shit, that they would shrug and say how sorry they were and then change the subject, but even he could see what a sad git that would make him sound "And before you ask I haven't talked about it with my wife either, not that she's my wife anymore of course"

"No, I remember you saying" Daniel looked over the top of his glasses "That strikes me as quite a lonely way to live"

"Not at all ..." Charles was tempted to tell him that it was his choice, that he didn't get emotionally involved because that inevitably meant things ending up messy and painful "It's hardly something I'm going to share over a couple of pints in the pub is it? I fucked up big time and now my boss thinks I need my head looking at so I have to see a shrink a couple of times a week to save my career going completely down the shitter ..."

"I know you find this difficult to believe Charles, but it's not a question of your career being ruined, no-one is suggesting anything like that"

Daniel watched as Charles took a deep breath and made a conscious effort to relax his clenched fists slightly and try to regain control of the emotions he worked so hard to hide from the world, but which just occasionally broke through his iron reserve.

"Sorry ..."

"No need ... you have nothing to be sorry for ... but we do have to talk about it, you know that ..."

Daniel watched as Charles looked down at the floor between his feet before looking up and nodding, his hooded eyes were masked and wary.

"How's everything else, how's that little nurse of yours? Molly isn't it?"

"Fine" His voice was clipped and brusque "She's fine ... and she's just a casual friend, that's all, not even that really, and she is definitely not _"my little_ " anything" He made inverted comma signs with his fingers "She doesn't deserve to be patronised"

The words 'by you' hung unspoken in the air between them as Daniel pulled a wryly apologetic face which was pure theatrics on his part. Once again he'd used whatever he could to successfully deflect the conflict that was building between him and the man with the stern face who was so determined to shoulder the blame for what had happened in Afghanistan.

"Of course not, it was a slip of the tongue, it wasn't my intention at all" Daniel was a smooth liar when it suited him, he'd had every intention of getting a reaction.

Charles shook his head unwilling to talk about her. The minute Daniel mentioned her name there was this vivid picture in his head of her face and the way she'd smiled at him when he'd told her he'd been having a bad day the day they met. What he should have said of course was that he'd been having a bad life. But no matter how beautiful she was or how much he _liked_ her he had no intention of getting involved in any _relationship_ that would inevitably end in tears. Even his marriage to Rebecca had been a ticking time bomb, he was always going to be better off on his own.

-OG-

"I'd of been okay on the bus you know ... there's no need for ..."

Molly felt the need to say something to fill a silence that suddenly felt all awkward and bloody uncomfortable. The friendly chatting seemed to have fucked off somewhere and she hadn't got a clue how that had happened, it was obvious she'd done something wrong, she just didn't know quite what. Every time she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye she could see how his face was all stern as if he was really pissed at her, not like when they'd been laughing together in the bar when she'd felt like she'd known him bloody ages, that they were friends and that he liked her, a lot, so it had come as a bit of a reality check to realise that she'd been previous, that she didn't actually know him at all.

"I know .. but the car's a bloody sight more comfortable ... and a good deal safer"

"What?"

"Molly ..." He glanced over at her with a look of irritation and a frustrated tone in his voice as if she'd just said something remarkably dumb "I'm going to see you safely home, I don't like the thought of you catching a bus so late on your own ... and it's raining"

"Yeah I can see that but ... I can look after meself you know, I'm well used to getting the bus ... 'n this is Taunton not the Bronx" She wasn't sure whether to be pissed that he seemed to think she was some helpless little girly girl who couldn't look out for herself, mind you she had a bit of a track record for that as far as he was concerned, or to like the way he seemed to think she needed looking after.

"I know all that ... but it doesn't mean I have to like it so just humour me, okay?"

He relapsed back into silence shaking his head and keeping his eyes firmly on the road and she glanced at him a couple of times before turning to gaze out of the window at the rain lashing down and wracked her brains trying to think of something to say. Preferably something sensible. Even though he seemed to have gone right off her and to have gone back to being the miserable sod she'd first met, it didn't stop him from being one of the best looking blokes she'd ever clapped eyes on. And it didn't seem to matter either that he was so much older than her, he was well out of her league on all sorts of levels, he was posh and she wasn't, but he was still bloody sexy so it was a shame she seemed to have pissed him off. She couldn't read him at all so didn't have a clue what was going on in his head whereas earlier she'd have put money on him asking if they could do it again sometime, now she just felt it was another example of what a fuck-up she was when it came to men.

"Thanks, that was ... ummm ... quick ... thanks for the lift, 'n sorry if I seemed ungrateful just then, didn't mean to be .. 'n thanks for the drinks 'n that" Oh god, now she was babbling and needed to shut up "And anyway thanks for the lift, oh yeah said that already didn't I?"

"You did indeed, and you're welcome"

"Well, goo'night then ... and drive careful won't you?"

Her seat belt was already undone as she scrabbled for the door handle, suddenly desperate to get out of the car and into the safety of the house before she did or said something stupid.

"I thought for a moment there you were going to invite me in for coffee"

"What?" She heard the sheer surprise in her voice "Did you? Sorry ... I mean, yeah course, if you want ... ... only it'll 'ave to be tea ... not sure we got coffee"

"Tea? No thanks ... but despite your gracious invitation I don't actually want a drink" The smirk on his face turned into a laugh out loud at the expression on her face, it was obvious she didn't know what the hell he was talking about "I'm sorry ...you should see your face ... it was a joke ... a pretty poor one admittedly ... but sometimes asking someone in for coffee is a euphemism"

"If I knew what one of them was, I'd tell you ..."

"A euphemism? Of course you do ... it's when you say something but what you're really trying to do is not say something too harsh or ... or too blunt ... or you don't want to get your face slapped ... a bit like you asking me who'd pissed in my Coco-Pops when what you were trying to find out was whether something or someone had upset me ..."

"Nah I wasn't ... I knew something had upset you ... bleeding obvious, I was asking who it was pissed in your breakfast" Molly pulled a face and giggled "I knew someone had to have done something to make you yell at me ... I mean, it couldn't be me, I knew I 'adn't done anything" She shrugged and tried to paste her best wide-eyed innocent expression on her face and then grinned "I was just sitting there minding me own business"

"Trying to freeze to death ... and I'd had a bad day" He was laughing almost in spite of himself "Sorry about that ... but you lied and told me your name was Meghan Markle"

"Yeah ... could of been though, couldn't it? ... except for the ginger ninja probably wouldn't of let me drive 'ome when the weather was shit like that .. he would of let me stay in one of his dad's palaces ... look, you can come in if you want, but I'm really not lying this time, we 'ave only got tea bags ... 'n all you'd be getting is tea ..."

"Shame" He smirked "Its okay thanks ... Bella told me all about you having a bad day that day as well"

"Did she? Well it was a bit, but it didn't stop me being full of charm and magnetism did it?"

"Nope ... if you say so ... and by the way Bella is busy watching us through the gap in the curtains"

"Oh shit is she?" Molly turned to look at the window and was just in time to see Bella duck out of sight "What did she tell you anyhow?"

"Not much, just that you'd been to a wedding .." He was suddenly aware that it probably wasn't a great idea to relay everything Bella had told him about just how difficult that wedding had been for her so opened his door instead and walked round to her side to hold the door open for her, jerking his head indicating she should get out "Well come on then ... "

"Yeah alright ... 'ave you changed your mind, you coming in then?"

"Nope ... just seeing you safely to your door ..."

"Oh ... right ... "

She began trying to find her key, then waved it triumphantly at him when it eventually surfaced from the crumbs and debris at the bottom of her bag.

"Well, goo'night then ... _Charles_... and thanks again"

"Goodnight"

She slung the strap of her bag over her shoulder and looked down at her feet for a minute before putting her thumbs up to tuck her hair back behind her ears, for some reason she was amazingly reluctant to just put the key in the door and go in and let him get off. It was like not wanting to be the one who hangs up the phone first. What she'd of really liked was him to give her a little kiss and then ask if she wanted to do it again sometime, but he didn't do either, just stood there and smiled at her.

"I 'ad a really nice time tonight"

"Ditto"

"Ditto ... _ditto?_ What does that even mean?"

"It means ... thank you, I had a really nice time as well"

Even as the thought entered his head he knew it was a really bad idea but gave in and did it anyway. He'd wanted to kiss her ever since they'd been in that bar and she'd been laughing at him and teasing him and had made him forget everything except how much he was enjoying being with her. Daniel's words about life not having to be all or nothing kept coming back to haunt him as he put the palm of his hand on her cheek and gently pulled her face towards his, fully intending to peck her on the other cheek. But instead his lips met hers in a soft kiss that started as tentative and slowly became very sensual, a kiss that made her stomach turn over as if she was going down in an express lift. A kiss that definitely felt as if it was leading somewhere. As soon as they broke apart she dropped her bag on the floor and wrapped her arms round his neck and he stepped back to look at her face before leaning forward to kiss her again, a kiss that was harder and deeper and had far more purpose until he stopped suddenly and stood back to create a space between them. He looked down at the floor before looking back at her face.

"Sorry ... I'd better go ... I'll call you"

There were a whole lot of things she wanted to say but those three words bought reality crashing back in. She knew exactly what they meant. If he'd had any intention of ever seeing her again he'd of said straight out, so now all she was glad was that she hadn't got carried away enough to proposition him. The words that had come out of his gob were the ones that people said just before they fucked off out of your life for good, they were the last words the tosspot had said to her before he'd headed off to be part of Donna's life not hers.

"Okay ... " Molly couldn't quite believe that she hadn't bloody learned anything from the last time, the only thing that mattered now was showing him she actually gave zero fucks one way or the other "See ya"

"Molly?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing ... goodnight"

"Night"

He waved one hand over his shoulder in a sort of farewell salute as she fumbled around and tried to get the key in the lock the whole time pretending she wasn't waiting for him to go before she went in. As soon as the tail lights disappeared she almost fell through the door in her haste to get inside. She'd got no idea what had just happened, but there was this tiny worry that maybe there was something wrong with the way she'd kissed him. No-one had ever criticised her technique before, but there was always a bloody first time and she could of sworn he _liked_ her but then he hadn't been able to get away quick enough.

-OG-

Bella was pretending to be totally engrossed in some late night political debate on Channel 4 as Molly went in and sat down heavily next to her. It was obvious she hadn't realised she'd been busted spying or maybe she thought she could brazen it out, but she didn't seem to realise that her audience consisted of just her sister. The act was a total waste.

"You're late ... thought you said ..." She looked around "What you done with 'im, where is he?"

"I'm not ... 'ere, turn that bloody thing off Bels and go 'n put the kettle on"

"I'm watching it" Bella was still looking at the door hopefully "Come on, where is he?"

She was peering at Molly as though she expected to see him hiding behind her but then looked at the doorway expectantly as if she was waiting for him to appear like a jack-in-the-box.

"He's gone ... 'n you're not watching it"

"I am ... Gone? Gone where?"

"I dunno do I? 'ome I s'pose ... why?"

"Thought you'd at least bring him in so I could say hello" Bella switched the television off and got off the sofa and began rooting around under it looking to find the Garfield slippers she'd hidden when she thought he was coming in because she thought they were too unsexy "Wife waiting was she?"

Molly noticed the eye make-up and the straightened hair and sniggered "What you all tarted up for? As if I didn't know ... nah, he's not married ... I asked him, he's divorced or separated or something"

"And you believed him?" Bella giggled as Molly nodded, suddenly worried that could be an explanation of why he'd gone all weird and fucked off the way he had "Then why the fuck didn't you ask him in?"

"Did ... but he said nah, don't think he likes me ... not like that"

"Not like what? Oh shit, he's not gay is he?"

"Nah ... well, don't think so" Molly stopped for a second and thought about how he'd kissed her and held her "Nah I'm sure he's not, he kissed me, a sort of proper kiss, but then he just went ... so I dunno do I?"

Bella shrugged "Well his loss then innit? So you're not gonna see 'im again then?"

"Nah don't look like it" Molly pulled a face "Said he'd call ... but... he won't"

"You don't know that"

"Yeah I do"

"Shame"

"Who for, me or you? ... And what did you tell him about me going to that pissin' wedding?"

"Nothin' ... I don't think" Bella was suddenly in a tearing rush to get away to the kitchen, her sister had always had the uncanny knack of knowing when she was lying, had done ever since they were kids "Can't really remember now, but think I just said you'd been to a weddin' that's all... why? What did he say?"

"That's what he said 'n all"

"Well there you go then, what you asking me for?" Bella tried to sound nonchalant but succeeded in sounding truculent "He's still good looking though inne?"

"He's alright, I s'pose, bit tall" Molly paused and swallowed and looked at her sister "He's what Nan would call a long streak of n'owt ... and I thought he was nice, Bels, but he's not, he's a sodding giant who enjoys playing bleeding games... got a crick in me neck from just looking at him"

"Got a really nice arse though" Bella giggled.

"'as he? Didn't look ... 'n how do you know anyway? But it don't matter does it, seeing as how I'm not gonna see him again"

"Liar ... course it does" Bella put her head round the door and sniggered loudly.

-OG-

Molly was warm and comfortable lying in her bed listening to the rain on her window trying to get to sleep. But even though she was exhausted like she always was at the end of a spell of nights, she couldn't seem to drop off. She was tired to the point where she kept going over and over it in her head as she tried to work out what had gone wrong when her phone lit up and started vibrating, rolling around on her bedside table. She didn't bother to sit up or put the light on, just grabbed at it to check caller I.D. before she answered because if it was, as she suspected, an emergency ring round from work like it usually was at that time of night, she was definitely going to be out. But it wasn't ...

-OG-

 _ **A/N: My thanks to everyone who kept encouraging me to return to this story .. and for the kind words ... I know this chapter got a bit long but my fingers kept running away with me –**_ _ **I hope you enjoyed this - chapter 8 won't be far behind as I am already well into it ...**_


	8. Chapter 8

"Good weekend?"

"Yep ... not bad thanks ... you?"

The unexpected civility coupled with the pleasant expression on Charles' face put Daniel immediately on his guard. He was deeply suspicious of the way he was looking at him, almost as though he'd forgotten about his determination to keep his distance and was celebrating some inner victory instead, a victory that Daniel knew nothing about and it was one that worried him.

"I thought we could start by taking a close look at the relationship between you and Harte"

"Why?"

Daniel metaphorically kicked himself. He'd just done the unthinkable and introduced a topic without being prepared for any sort of challenge, he'd allowed complacency to creep in and knew it. But he wasn't in the habit of being forced to provide explanations to Charles, as a rule he didn't show any interest in the reasoning behind the questions, he just didn't feel obliged to answer them. But that didn't mean there was any excuse for asking a question without having a good reason and he couldn't possibly admit he'd done it on a whim, purely to satisfy an almost prurient interest in the nature of the relationship between the two of them.

"What do you want to know?"

Charles shrugged and raised his eyebrows and then gazed steadily at Daniel with a faintly cynical smile plastered on his lips and Daniel was struck by just how much his demeanour had changed. It was as if Charles had suddenly regained some natural authority and self-belief from somewhere and there was even some evidence of an innate arrogance that had been missing in their previous sessions when the tension gripping him had been almost palpable. Daniel had no idea what had brought it about, just that it was manifestly obvious something had changed and it wasn't anything he'd done. But there was no way he was about to admit his ignorance and ask Charles outright, as the therapist he thought he should look as if he knew.

"You mentioned that you and Harte had been close friends for quite a while?"

"Yup ...indeed ... ever since Sandhurst ... and that is a lot of years ... " Charles rested his elbows on his thighs and looked down at the floor between his knees before he looked in Daniel's direction again "Sorry ... still can't quite see what that has to do with what happened in Kabul"

"I'm curious as to how it worked with the two of you working on the same mission, whether there were any tensions ... or whether you were influenced by working with someone you knew ... exceptionally well ... but who was not under your direct chain of command" Daniel picked up his pen and began to tap it rhythmically on the desk, making Charles grit his teeth with irritation, it distracted the fuck out of him as he sat there trying to work out where Daniel was going with this, what the hell he was driving at "Did the fact that you'd known him for a long time lead to maybe ... differences of opinion about the best plan of action?" Daniel was suddenly comfortable that almost by pure chance he seemed to have stumbled on a reasonable excuse for exploring the subject, even if he wasn't sure where he was going with it "Were you ... alike ... in the way you saw things ..? "

"Nope ... not if you're talking about life in general we were anything but .." Charles snorted a laugh and shook his head and then pulled a wry face "We had a totally different outlook on just about everything ... but it didn't stop us being friends, and we shared a very similar attitude to the mission, if that's what you're asking, there was no tension as you call it, it was just a case of getting on with it"

"So you agreed on the best way to approach it?"

"Indeed"

The direction of the discussion was beginning to make Charles feel uncomfortable. The fact that he definitely wasn't telling the whole truth meant he could feel his stress levels were beginning to rise even though he was doing his best not to let it show, he wasn't sure how ready he was to encourage Daniel to start chipping away at him again. But he could hear Molly's voice in his head telling him not to be a prannet and then laughing when she'd done her best to explain to him exactly what a prannet was, and then the way she'd told him that it might help if he could stop thinking of this bloke as the enemy.

-OG-

"Hullo ..." There was a very long pause while he listened to the silence and waited in vain for her to say something "I didn't wake you did I?"

"Nah ... weren't asleep"

"Good ..." There was another excruciatingly long pause while he tried to think what the fuck to say to her. It had seemed a lot easier when he'd been brushing his teeth but it was difficult now to know when she sounded wary and suspicious and obviously not particularly happy to talk to him, he wasn't sure where to start "You okay?"

"Never better ..."

"Are you sure? You sound a bit ... I don't know ... upset?"

Actually upset wasn't the right word but he couldn't think of a better one. That she was annoyed with him was glaringly obvious, she was as sarcastic as hell and sounded thoroughly pissed off with him, something that didn't come as much of a shock. Fuck, she must think he couldn't make up his fucking mind, kissing her like that and then walking away without any sort of explanation, but explaining would have meant telling her what was going on in his life and he wasn't about to do that.

"Me? Nah ... why would I be upset?"

A few minutes earlier she'd been desperately trying to get her brain to switch off long enough for her to get to sleep, she'd been telling herself not to think about him, that he wasn't worth it but then as soon as she'd seen who was on the phone she was suddenly wide awake and struggling to keep a straight face because all she wanted to do was to grin, which was bleeding ridiculous in the circumstances. Earlier she'd been so fucking livid with him that she'd been slagging him off right left and centre to Bella, but even when she'd been thinking of all these really horrible things to say about him she'd known in her heart that she was more angry with herself than with him. Looking back she could see she'd been too available, too quick to let him think she was easy and had then been bloody hurt when he'd rejected her like that, it all felt like she hadn't learned anything from last time. But then once she was in bed and had calmed down a bit, alright a lot, she knew it was her own fault, if she'd had any sense she'd have just given him back his money and said thanks and then would of pissed off like anyone with half a brain would have done. Instead she'd sat there drinking Vodka with a stupid grin on her face like some bleeding muppet and had let herself start _liking_ him, so there was only herself to blame. Anyone who could see beyond the end of their nose could see he was way out of her league, he was too old, and too posh and way too bloody good looking, he was everything she'd sworn she'd have nothing to do with ever again. She'd sworn blind she was going ugly in future. So it was bloody stupid now having to bite her lip to stop this grin reaching her face. She'd heard somewhere that if you smile when you're on the phone people can hear it in your voice and although she couldn't see it herself, thought it sounded like something Nan would say to stop them rolling their eyes when she rang to nag, she wasn't entirely sure so didn't want to take any chances. She really didn't want him to think she was happy to talk to him because she wasn't. Well she was, a bit, but she wasn't ready to let him think that messing with her like that was okay, one minute kissing her as if he really meant it, well it was obvious he'd meant it at the time, no-one could have faked that, and the next not being able to get away quick enough.

"What do you want _Charles_?"

"What's so funny about Charles?"

"Nothin' ... not laughin'" But she was, and had to bite her lip to control the urge to giggle. She still couldn't get used to how posh and sort of grown up his name sounded, and the thought had popped in her head that Nan would call him Charlie Boy which he would almost certainly hate, not that he was ever going to meet Nan or anything.

"Sorry ... for a minute there I thought ... it sounded as if you were smirking..." He took a deep breath "I'm sorry ... I know it's late and that you're probably very tired so I won't keep you, I just wanted to make sure that we were okay and to ... tell you that I had a really good time tonight .."

"Ditto" Molly heard him give this soft little laugh when she used the same word he had and knew exactly the sort of look he'd have on his face, how she knew, she wasn't sure, she just did "I did too but you know, you must 'ave forgot cos you did tell me earlier and yeah ... course we're okay, why wouldn't we be?"

"I think you know ..." He took a deep breath "I was wondering if you'd like to ... perhaps, do it again sometime? Whether we could go and get something to eat ... or go for a drink somewhere ... what do you think?"

Even though she knew she shouldn't even consider it or at least should make him have to try a bloody sight harder, every instinct made her long to snatch his bloody hand off before he got a chance to think better of it. But that would make her sound desperate. Admittedly she'd really liked him, liked the way he'd smiled at her and the way he'd made her feel when he'd kissed her but she hadn't liked the way she'd felt when it had all gone to shit and anyway there was what Bella had said about doubting he'd been telling the truth when he told her he wasn't still married.

"When was you thinkin'?"

"Well ...I was wondering, how about ... how about tomorrow? ... We could perhaps go and get something to eat if you're free and if you don't have to work"

"Nah, sorry, can't ... not tomorrow ... sorry"

"Oh ... right ... are you working?"

"Nah ... just ... I've already got something on ... can't get out of it"

Charles had been going over and over it in his head ever since he'd driven away, he'd been trying to make sense of just why the fuck he'd done something so monumentally stupid, why he'd behaved like a total dick. According to that sister of hers she'd just come out of a long term relationship so wasn't going to be looking for anything heavy, it wasn't as if she was going to expect anything from him that was a _commitment,_ and he couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed an evening as much as he'd enjoyed the one he'd just spent with her. She was gorgeous, she was pretty with beautiful eyes and an awesome smile, and she had this wicked sense of humour which meant she'd done a lot of laughing, and also meant that he'd had fun. She'd made him laugh which was no mean feat these days. And most of all she'd made him _forget._ As soon as he'd touched her all the fears and the anger and the incessant reminders had disappeared and he'd wanted nothing more than to stay there forever holding her and kissing her and doing a whole lot more than that, so why the fuck had he then allowed his stubborn determination to avoid any entanglements get in the way of something that had made things feel so much better. Why couldn't he just have ignored that little voice in his head that kept telling him she was exactly what he didn't need?

He shouldn't be a bit surprised to learn that she had plans to see someone else, of course there were others who found her as attractive as he did, and after all she was free to see anyone she liked. It was none of his fucking business.

"No of course you can't ... right ... well maybe some other time then?"

He struggled to keep the disappointment out of his voice, glad that she couldn't see him so couldn't see how thoroughly pissed off and jealous he was at the thought of her spending an evening with someone who probably wouldn't be as downright stupid as he'd been.

"Have fun ... Are you doing anything nice?"

"Yeah"

"Lovely ..." He wanted to ask where she was going and who with but managed to stop the words escaping "Well ... have a good time"

He packed as much enthusiasm into his voice as he could manage with the hope that it would sound as if he genuinely meant it even though it was the last thing he wanted.

"Thanks ... but ... you know, it's not what you think"

"What isn't?"

"It's not a date ... well, it is ... but it's with a little boy 'n a bowl of popcorn and whatever car'oon he wants to watch" She giggled softly "It's Bella's turn tomorrow 'n she's going to some par'y so I'm gonna stop in 'n watch Mar'in ... so ... we can ... I mean, we could, if you like, go out for that drink another time ... if you want ... I'd like that"

"Lovely" He knew that the flood of happy relief and the smile on his face were totally disproportionate in the circumstances, but then spoke without stopping to think what he was saying "How about ...well, I like popcorn ... and cartoons ... and I could bring food .."

"What?"

"I was asking if I could perhaps come and sit on your sofa and eat popcorn and watch cartoons with you and Martin ... I mean, I'll understand if you say no, but if you tell me what your favourite is, I could bring take-away"

"Are you trying to bribe me with Chinese?"

"Yup ... is it working?"

"Nah ... " Molly forgot all her earlier resolutions about not smiling and giggled aloud, she no longer gave a shit if he could hear how much she was enjoying flirting with him "You'll 'ave to try harder than that"

"Right ... now let me see ... Chinese for three ... and then ice cream ... what's your favourite, or do you trust me to choose for you? And what time does Martin have tea?"

"'ang on, 'ang on ... that's a bit previous, I 'aven't said yes yet 'ave I? ... and nah, Mar'in don't eat Chinese, he only likes beans on toast"

"Lovely ... my favourite"

"Nah it's not ... bet you don't even eat them"

"Of course I do, what do you think we eat on tour?"

"Dunno ... Caviar ... or ... pickled goat or something"

"I'll have you know that curried goat is a personal favourite of mine ... although I'm not so sure about Caviar"

"You taking the piss?"

"Yup ... Caviar? This is the British army we're talking about ... more likely to get fish fingers"

"Oh ... Sorry ... look, I am sorry, but we don't ... I mean, Mar'in's got enough things worrying him already so we don't bring anyone 'ome who's maybe new, someone who might not gonna be around that much .. sorry"

"Don't be, it's alright, I understand ... what time does he go to bed?"

"You don't give up do you?"

"Nope"

Molly wanted to yell at Bella and ask what time she was going out because the last thing she wanted was for her sister to be anywhere near the place if he did come round because then she'd never get rid of her. There was no way Bella would shove off to any bloody party if she clapped eyes on him, she'd stay and be a nuisance, but she also didn't want to have to explain to her, or him, why she needed to know. She'd love to just tell him not to come till well after nine, just to make sure Martin was in bed and Bella was gone, but that was really late and he'd be thinking his luck was in, which it wasn't, and that she was trying to get him all to herself, which she wasn't. Not really.

-OG-

"Thought you didn't like him like that"

"I don't ... its just ... well, he wanted to come round and explain ... that's all ... 'n then he'll be off 'ome"

"I think I'll give it a miss tonight and stop 'ere, I can look after you ... I could kill 'im for you if you like ... or take him off your 'ands anyway"

"Piss off ... 'n you can keep your 'ands to yourself ... and what about Craig?"

"He'll live"

She'd eventually had to come clean and tell Bella because she'd kept on that she'd lost the bloody plot completely when she'd scurried round tidying up and picking up stuff and cleaning grubby corners and had yelled at Bella for messing up the bathroom after she'd cleaned it. She'd been tempted to lie and say they were due to have a landlord's inspection, but knew that not even Bella was stupid enough to believe that. And she'd spent ages trying to decide what to wear, although she hadn't tidied her room, there was no way he was going to see that she didn't have enough wardrobe space so hung her clothes on the floor, anyway having a messy bedroom was an insurance against her being tempted to do something really dumb. She'd ended up threatening Bella with Nan if she didn't just stop trying to muscle in and in the end had threatened that if she stopped at home rather than going to the party then she could look after Martin and Molly would get Charles to take her out. The original plan had been for Bella to stop over with Craig who was her sort of latest, but Molly knew she wouldn't do that now she knew Charles was going to be at theirs, she was going to be the best sort of bleeding chaperone there was. Not that she needed one of them because there wasn't going to be any need for one, he wasn't ugly enough for starters.

"Hullo ...you look beautiful"

Both their faces were wreathed in smiles as he bent his head and kissed her on the cheek. He was bang on time which was as well because Martin had been obliging for once and had gone up early so she'd been ready for more than an hour, which had been plenty of time for her to start worrying herself sick about what the fuck they were going to talk about, she couldn't just sit and grin at him.

"Ta ... you don't look so shabby yourself"

"Has Bella gone? ... ..." He handed her the bottle of wine he was holding and thought how pretty she looked and how different from Rebecca who wouldn't have been seen dead in a pair of faded jeans with bare feet. He looked around as though checking for an ambush as she gestured towards the sitting room "She's not waiting behind the door for me with her carving knife is she?"

"Nah, not this time ... she did offer to kill you ... but I said ... nah"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome"

There was a long silence as they looked at each other without saying anything until she forced herself to move into the kitchen and he followed and stood in the doorway without taking his eyes off her, something that made her all fingers and thumbs when she tried to get the corkscrew to work on the bottle of wine he'd bought. She let him take over as she got two glasses down.

"Nope, not for me ... better not ... I'm driving"

"I'm not"

Molly poured herself a large glass of the wine and took a large gulp, the way she was feeling she bloody needed it. It wasn't that she didn't want to spend time with him, talk to him or anything, she did, more than she could explain, but there was this nervous anticipation in the pit of her stomach as well as this feeling that she couldn't think what to say about what had happened the night before. They needed to clear the air, she couldn't just pretend it had never happened even though she was beginning to tell herself that she was making a big deal out of it and that she just needed to let it go. If she could.

"Do you want some'ing else, we got coke ...or water ... or coffee?"

"I'd love coffee"

He knew that it was almost certain to be instant so was not something he'd normally choose, but she'd told him they only drank tea so he was overwhelmed with feelings he couldn't explain at the thought that she'd actually been out and bought it specially.

-OG-

"Tell me, do you ever stop laughing?"

"Yeah, course ... sometimes ... why? .. Don't you have laughs when you're off being a soldier somewhere?... Bet you do"

She'd been regaling him with scurrilous descriptions of the more bizarre things that went on behind the scenes of the HDU where she worked and he was enjoying just looking at her as she sat cross legged on the sofa and listening to her as well as watching the way her face lit up with laughter whenever she made him laugh.

"Not as much as you obviously do" He refilled her empty glass and took a sip of the glass of water that had followed the coffee which had indeed been instant, not that he'd cared "It used to be more ... enjoyable than it is now"

"Are you trying to get me pissed?" Molly took a tiny sip of the wine and then pushed the glass of wine to one side "I'm s'posed to be babysitting ... you said before that you don't love the army like you used to, why not? What's changed?"

"I'm not sure I'd know where to start" He took refuge in taking another sip of water and then stood up and walked over to pick up the framed photograph that Bella had told him was of her with the best friend that had let her down "Tell me about the wedding"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you everyone for the lovely reviews for Chapter 7. I do hope you enjoy this and that everyone has a really lovely Christmas**_

.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been a very long restless night of telling himself that she was right, it was time he bit the bullet and talked to Daniel, but what had seemed so simple and obvious when she'd been trying to comfort him, now felt very different as he was sat and looked at the man who'd irritated the fuck out of him for weeks. Bloody Daniel, who suddenly appeared to be labouring under some misapprehension about his relationship with Elvis, but even that wasn't particularly worrying him, apart from giving him an almost irresistible urge to laugh and thoughts of how much Elvis would have enjoyed it. In the cold light of day Charles couldn't think of a single thing to say or where to start, he still couldn't see himself parading his feelings in front of this man and then watching as he made _notes_. When he closed his eyes he could see the expression on her face and the luminous green eyes that had flooded with tears when she'd been telling him about how the grief she saw in her job affected people in different ways. His reluctance to talk somehow felt as if he was letting her down.

When his parents had put him in boarding school for the first time he'd struggled to hide his fears from the people around him. His father had made a real point of telling him that he had to be _brave,_ that boys don't cry at school _,_ so his fear of being ridiculed had led to him hiding the sick dread he felt that he'd been abandoned. He'd been terrified that his parents had forgotten he ever existed and had somehow managed to convince himself that while the other boys made excited plans for their holidays at home, he'd be left alone in an empty school. Despite enquiries from kindly teachers he'd refused to tell anyone what was bothering him and had instead resolutely buried the fears in the same way that he'd buried his emotions ever since. Of course he'd very quickly found that it was complete nonsense but the fear of appearing less than in control was still there somewhere under the layers of armour that he'd acquired as a fully functioning adult.

To a certain extent Elvis had broken through the hard shell surrounding him by the simple expedient of ignoring it, and now he knew he'd let Molly put another chink in that armour. Something he was now regretting. He was uncomfortably aware that she posed a threat to his decision to avoid emotional entanglements, and was abso-fucking-lutely determined that the minute he'd made good on his promise, he was going to do everything he could to restore the distance between them.

 **Chapter 9**

"Come on, tell me about this wedding"

"What do you wanna know? Nothin' to tell"

"Well, you could tell me why you didn't enjoy it?"

"Who said I didn't?"

"You did ... you said you'd been having a bad day ..."

"You mean big gob Bella told you ... well, sorry but it weren't that bad ... might have gone a bit to shit when I was on me way home ... did I tell you I nearly hit Bambi?"

"You did indeed ... lovely .. well, thanks for that ... and there was me thinking I rescued you"

"That's alright, you're welcome ... okay, it weren't you rescuing me what was a bit shit, it was the whole wedding ... but I'm trying to forget all about it ... the wedding I mean ... not you" She waved a hand vaguely in his direction "Really don't wanna talk about it thanks"

Charles carefully replaced the photograph where he had found it on the mantelpiece but kept his back turned towards her. He was very conscious that he'd just wiped the happy smile off her face in a selfish attempt to avoid talking about things he wanted to forget.

"Do you always do that then? .. with everyone?"

"Do what?"

"Change the subject when anyone asks about your job or the army"

"Rubbish"

"Nah it's not, you do ... look ... you can tell me I'm a prannet if you like, probably will, but I'm not that much of one that I can't tell when someone's trying to shut me up..."

"What the fuck is a _prannet_?"

"Dunno ... well not exactly .. it's something me Nan says all the time but I think she might 'ave made it up, far as I know it means someone who's a bit on the slow side"

"Which you're not ... good word though ... I'm sorry Molly but can we ... just leave it and talk about something else?"

As soon as he turned round to face her again she could see there was something very wrong that was making his face look very grim, although she'd got no idea what could possibly be so pissing horrible about his job and anyway if it was that bad, why didn't he just do something else. He'd been a soldier for a long time, had told her it had been all he'd wanted but hadn't actually said what had happened to change the way he felt "Sorry ... if it's a bit personal"

"It's not ... but let's just leave it, shall we?"

Despite what she'd said about being careful about how much she had to drink in case she got pissed, Molly picked up her glass and swigged a couple of very large mouthfuls of wine without really thinking what she was doing.

"Okay ... "

She paused and swigged another mouthful of wine emptying her glass while she thought about what she wanted to say and then shook her head before starting again, knowing she would probably be much better off leaving it alone.

"Just ...wanted to say ... look .. if it's not personal, then it's just a job innit? 'n if you hate it that much ..." She shrugged and grinned before hastily wiping the smile off her face, she could see from the look on his that she really should shut up, but the wine really had interfered with her brakes. He looked at her steadily then raised his eyebrows.

"God you don't give up do you? You're like a bloody terrier"

"Me? Nah I'm not ... yeah alright ...sorry, just wanna say you could do something different if you don't like it anymore ... I mean, I dunno, you could be ..." She stopped and scoured her brains for something to suggest and came up with a blank "You could ... do anything ... work in a shop or a pub or ... sorry they sound a bit shit don't they? But you could do ... anything you want..." She stopped and bit her lip as she floundered to a halt before nodding in the direction of the photograph that he'd just put back in its designated spot.

"You don't have to be clever or nothin', Tone does alright 'n he's not clever, he's thick as shit"

"Thanks a lot..." Charles' involuntary grin wiped the Captain Stern expression from his face even before he laughed out loud at the look on hers when she suddenly realised she'd basically called him stupid.

"Nah ...nah, I didn't mean that the way it sounded ... sorry ...I meant .."

"It's alright I know what you meant ... who's Tone by the way?"

"Sorry forgot you don't know 'im ... Tony ... he's me ex" She grimaced "He's no-one important"

"Apart from him being a moron"

It took her a few seconds to work out that he was actually saying something nice which she wasn't sure she deserved after telling him he was thick, but giggled appreciatively anyway even though she was decidedly rattled. In the space of a couple of minutes the whole evening seemed to be heading straight down the shitter and she wasn't exactly sure how it had happened. They'd been having a really nice time laughing and flirting a bit, well she had anyway, and okay she'd had a couple of glasses of wine which she knew usually interfered with her brain carefully sanctioning what her mouth was saying, but now found herself waiting for him to look at his watch and start muttering that it was getting late. She expected to hear him say he should be getting off home, it was a knack she seemed to have developed for wrecking things when she was with him.

"I know he's a bit stupid 'n that, but it wasn't all his fault what happened, I don't think he did it on purpose to hurt me or nothing, he just couldn't help liking her better could he? ... I mean she's better looking than me for a start ... 'n he said ..." Molly managed to stop herself before she started parading her hurt feelings at the way Tony had said she was sturdy, and took another swig of wine "Shit ... sorry ... now I sound like I'm fishing for compliments and I'm not, really I'm not ... it's just me mouth doesn't know when to shut up sometimes..."

"I noticed .."

"Sorry ... she's really tall though and ... pretty, looks a bit like Barbie but without the blonde hair ... it was my fault, I should of known not to ... still, bit late now ..."

"Do you still love him?"

There was a prolonged silence as Molly weighed up what to tell him, she wanted to put an end to the conversation, but couldn't quite bring herself to pretend she hadn't thought that he was the love of her life and that the sun shone out of his bum. Or that she was sometimes afraid that she still did despite everything.

"Seems I got it a bit wrong ... he don't love me, so ... but I still miss 'im sometimes, he was me best friend ... her 'n all, a bit, even though I hate her most of the time for what she did ... now can we talk about something else?"

"Indeed ... hey I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you talk about things that would upset you ..."

"It's alright"

He moved to sit next to her on the sofa but didn't make any attempt to put an arm round her or touch her in any way.

"No it's not, I lost a good friend on my last tour ... Afghanistan ... he was blown up ..." He ran his hand over his head "Died in front of me and there was nothing I could do, I watched him fly off the fucking roof of this building ... a fucking IED"

"Oh shit Charles"

"Indeed ... shit just about sums it up" He ran a hand over the back of his neck suddenly appalled that he'd said anything to her at all, he wasn't sure there was going to be any way back from this conversation "I'm finding it a tad difficult ..."

"Course you are" Molly was desperately sorry that she hadn't done as he'd asked and shut up about it, let him change the subject, but no, she hadn't let it go and hadn't let him keep it to himself like he'd wanted. And it was none of her fucking business. But she had this huge urge to put her arms round him and give him a hug as she did to people at work sometimes when someone was breaking their heart, even though it was against all the rules "How long ago did that happen?"

"Just about a year ... time I was over it" He sat up straight with a determined look on his face "Hey ... don't look at me like that ... it'll be okay"

"Yeah"

Charles picked up the wine and waved it over her glass asking whether she wanted a top up, her glass seemed to be somehow empty again as Molly ignored him and chewed at her bottom lip. She wasn't actually sure whether she should say anything else or whether it would be better to keep her mouth shut and let him change the subject, but she wanted desperately to try and make him feel better.

"You know ... at work we always do everything we can to make it so people can walk out of there don't you? ... but ... sometimes it don't matter what we do or how hard we try, they die and then there are people left behind breaking their bloody hearts and there's nothing we can do about it ...nothin' anyone can do ... it's really bloody hard sometimes ... what I'm trying to say 'ere is that everyone's different, some don't care who sees that they're in bits and some don't make any fuss at all ... go really quiet, but there are other people get bloody angry 'n need to find someone to blame ... sometimes they even blame us but that don't mean they don't care ... it's just different people are different.. well obviously, but you know what I mean"

"I don't get emotionally involved"

"Oh ... how does that even work?"

"By staying as detached as I can ... if you let your emotions get involved in anything it all becomes more difficult ... and makes it harder to keep things professional ... then things get messy and painful ..."

"Not sure 'bout that ... I mean if you don't talk about something it don't mean you don't feel it, that it's not hard for you ..."

Charles shook his head and looked around the room that he'd initially thought was a complete tip. There had obviously been an attempt to tidy from the last time he'd been there, some of the piles of clutter had disappeared but there were still myriad cushions that he thought were pointless and there were still the blanket type throws on the chairs while the photographs that had been on every flat surface were still there. In addition there was a heap of toys tidied into a pile under the table, but the room no longer felt cluttered to him, it felt welcoming somehow and completely unlike any of the sterile places he'd called home for the past few years. Rebecca didn't do homely, she would absolutely loathe this room and would have a shit fit at the thought of Sam leaving toys in a heap like that, he'd be made to tidy them away into his playroom, something Charles wouldn't mind betting Martin didn't have.

Apart from the usual polite platitudes, Rebecca had been singularly unwilling to talk about what had happened to Elvis, something that had helped sound the final death knell of their marriage. To Rebecca his death had been an unfortunate result of the choice he'd made to be involved with the army, a choice she didn't understand.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Depends.. I can't promise to answer"

"When ... when it happened, was there ... I mean did someone give you a hug?"

"Hardly ... it's the army Molly, people don't as a rule go around hugging their officers ..." He snorted a laugh down his nose and then saw the way her green eyes were swimming with unshed tears "Don't cry, it's fine ... I'm fine .."

"You're a rubbish liar"

"I'm not lying"

"Tell me about him"

"What do you want to know?"

"I dunno, I mean what he was like ... what did you like about him? ... If you never talk about him then it's like he's ... gone completely ... I know he was in the army, well obviously, but was he like you?"

"Nope not really ... no, he wasn't in the least like me, Elvis was Special Forces so he was always charging around saving the fucking world ..."

"What, like Superman? 'ang on ... Elvis? Was that his name? Or did he look like the real one so it was his nickname?"

"Nope" He couldn't help laughing "It was his real name, I think his mum had a crush on the other one ... and he was very popular with the girls, always had a string of girlfriends on the go ... often at the same time .. and he didn't believe in rules and regulations unless they suited him" Charles smiled and shook his head remembering the fights he'd had with Elvis over the issue "My boss obviously agrees with you about the need to talk, he thinks I need my head looking at so he's making me see this shrink ... I'm not sure what he's expecting him to do exactly"

"Is it helping?"

"Nope ... I want to hit him most of the time" Charles smiled and then laughed aloud as he shook his head, his first genuine laugh since they'd started talking about Elvis "But then to be fair I haven't actually done much talking"

"He can't 'elp you if you don't talk to him can he? Why do you wanna hit him, he's not your enemy, he's on your side ... Prannet"

"Excuse me ... who are you calling a prannet?"

"You?"

Molly put her hand out and touched his arm lightly where it was resting on his thigh, she suddenly wanted badly to soften the harshness of her words. She'd forgotten for the moment about the existence of the wife who was either still with him or maybe wasn't, on the whole she was pretty sure she was gone because he didn't strike her as someone who would lie about it. But one thing she was absolutely sure was that no-one had put their arms round him to try and comfort him since it had happened and felt this overwhelming urge to give him a hug.

Her desire to hug him was tempered by the memory of the last time she'd hugged him, of that kiss, and the way it had sent him scurrying for home. But he was right beside her and she could no longer think straight as his head dipped towards hers and all the butterflies in her stomach woke up and started to dance and she began to feel like she had too much breath. The touch of his lips against hers was so tentative and gentle that she wanted desperately to just lean in towards him until it wasn't just their lips that were touching. She was lost, her eyes glazed more with lust than with too many glasses of wine as he moved his hands to cradle her face and then rested his forehead against hers. Every fibre of his being was screaming at him not to leave the dream, to kiss her and to touch her and hold her but the voices of caution in his head were deafening so that he reluctantly pulled away, this was so utterly, utterly the wrong thing for him to be doing.

"Is Bella at a Christmas party?"

"Yeah ... it's her work do tonight, she was a bit annoyed that they had to 'ave it on a Sunday, said she wanted to stop at home .." Molly had no intention of telling him why Bella had been reluctant to go out, that it had nothing to do with it being a Sunday "But someone screwed up and they was late booking so this was the only day they could get ... she won't be 'ome just yet"

For one blissful second Molly had thought he was asking when Bella would be back because he wanted to stay on his own with her, but then realised that was a huge great helping of wishful thinking on her part. It was obvious he had no intention of taking things any further.

"I'd better keep an eye on the time ... are you doing anything special at Christmas?"

"Nah ... the usual ... I'm working most of it"

"No party?"

"Yeah but think I'll do an extra shift instead this year, the overtime will come in handy and it'll be a bit shit what with everything ... well you know ... and it's probably a good idea for you not to be 'ere when she gets back else you might not get out in one piece "

"What?"

"Nothin' ... don't matter"

"This party ... would you like some company ...?"

"What ... you? ... you go with me? Nah you can't ... I mean you can ... but it's gonna be total shit, an upstairs room in the pub so not a bit posh and everyone will be getting as slaughtered as they can as quick as they can so it's not gonna be pretty ... not your sort of thing at all"

"Who said? It sounds exactly like my sort of thing ... the usual platoon Christmas party"

"Really? You rescuing me again?"

"So it would appear"

-OG-

Molly had been on pins ever since she'd finished work and had used the staff loo to get dressed up in Bella's party gear and made her way to the upstairs room in the pub. Despite her minimal little skirt and the top she'd borrowed she felt like she was sticking out like a sore thumb. it felt as if everyone was looking at her and wondering why she'd even turned up and were waiting to see if she got loud and stroppy once she'd had a few. Whether she was going to even speak to Tony or whether she was going to lose it completely if he and Donna turned up, which she knew they would. They wouldn't miss a chance to rub her nose in their happiness. Molly was standing with Tessa, one of the other girls who was there on her own but who'd already had a couple of Vodkas, while she'd stuck with one and was holding an empty glass telling herself she needed to pace herself. The last thing she wanted was to be ratted before he even got there. If he got there.

"Please tell me he's got something to do with you?"

"Who?"

"Him..." Tessa waved her glass in an arc towards the doorway "Clark Kent without the glasses ... the tall one who's just come in, good looking bastard with dark hair ... please tell me he's who you've been waiting for ... and please let me be the one to tell Donna she peaked too soon ... that she should have waited..."

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for the kind comments and reviews for the last chapter and I'm sorry that this took a bit longer than I expected ... I had a small disaster involving my laptop and a mug of coffee (those that know me well will not be surprised, me and technology are not a good mix). I hope that everyone had a lovely Christmas (seems a long time ago now) and I'd like to wish you all a happy New Year.**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: This chapter was getting so long (even by my standards) that I have split it into two – so the second half of the party will be next and won't be too long … Thank you so much for your continued support and for the lovely reviews for Chapter 9 – they mean the world to me and are what keep me going and I do hope you continue to enjoy it.**_

 **-OG-**

"I think we need to use this time to have a long look at where we are"

Once again Charles felt this intense burst of irritation as he watched Daniel twirl his pen between his fingers, although this time he couldn't help feeling a small and unexpected twinge of guilt as he watched. The bloody man tried SO hard and the non-existent progress probably wasn't his fault, not when the whole thing was such an almighty fucking waste of time and energy.

"We need to assess just how far we've come over the weeks, because I have to say I'm somewhat disappointed to find we are still experiencing the same _difficulties_ as we had at the outset … we haven't made anything like the meaningful progress I would have liked"

Charles sat and looked at him with his most impassive expression carefully in place and said nothing. He was buggered if he was going to beg forgiveness from the man who seemed to him to be expecting some sort of apology because he hadn't yet managed to get him to bare his soul. If that was what he was waiting for then he was going to have a bloody long wait. But he couldn't help remembering what Molly had said about how it would make things easier for him if he would only try and talk to the man who was being paid to fucking listen.

"Yup … well … I'll definitely give it some thought" He paused and then surprised himself by making a conscious effort to start building a relationship that he'd spent months avoiding "Doing anything special over Christmas?"

"No, not really, just quiet … you know … family …" Daniel sounded taken aback, almost shocked at the enquiry "Well, as quiet as it ever can be with young children around anyway .. you?"

"The same"

He was lying of course, he was horribly afraid that Rebecca was going to severely restrict the amount of Sam time he was going to be allowed. So far she had grudgingly agreed to a couple of hours on Christmas afternoon at what used to be their family home and that was it, and he wasn't exactly looking forward to the rest of the holiday. It was going to a very long break which he was going to be spending at home with his parents and for the first time in a long time he was aware of being lonely. The only bright spot he could see at the moment was a Christmas party in an upstairs room of a pub with a girl who was beginning to disturb his dreams.

 _ **Chapter Ten**_

 _ **Part One**_

It was hardly a secret on the Unit that Tessa and Donna weren't exactly keen on one another. It was a nightmare when they were rostered on together and went out of their way to be bloody minded and fucking awkward, which really pissed off everyone who had to work with them. Molly hadn't really had that much to do with Tessa in the past, probably because she had been such good friends with Donna so wasn't sure what Tessa was getting at when she'd said about Donna and Tony. And Charles. It had sounded a bit like she thought Donna had set out to purposefully wreck what she'd had with Tony but Donna had been her friend ever since her very first day on the Unit so it sounded a bit bloody unlikely to Molly, at least she hoped it was. She really couldn't believe that Donna would do that to her, that she'd been playing some sort of shit game or something because surely if that was true, she'd taken it a bit far when she'd up and fucking married him? Now Molly was badly torn between wanting to stay and interrogate Tessa and find out exactly what the fuck she was talking about and being full of happy relief at the sight of him standing by the door looking round for her.

She hadn't been entirely honest with herself about how bothered she was that he was a tiny bit late. They hadn't actually spoken all week because she'd been on split shifts and when she hadn't been sleeping she'd been busy doing her best to be organised for Christmas. Her and Bella had been to Martin's school concert and watched him being a sheep, and had taken him for McDonalds afterwards as a treat to celebrate him being a compete star and had helped him decorate the house, putting up the tree with him and helping him overdo spraying the windows with fake snow.

She'd even managed to get some of her shopping done and Charles had been busy doing whatever it was he did. She wasn't exactly sure what soldiers did do when they weren't off fighting some war somewhere, he hadn't said and she hadn't asked. And his job had seemed like a bit of a tricky subject what with all that stuff about Elvis and it didn't feel like it was any of her business so she'd sent him a text instead. She was pretty sure she'd told him in the bloody thing what time this nightmare was due to kick off, but now the later it got the more convinced she got that she'd been right all along and that by the time he'd got home he'd thought better of it. She was too much of a coward to ring and check just in case he told her he wasn't coming after all, something she didn't want to hear because she might just possibly have sort of mentioned it to one or two people during the week.

"Yeah that's …. he's a friend of mine" She grinned at the way Tessa was sticking her tongue out and pretended she was licking her lips and dribbling "Sorry … might just gonna have to go and …" Molly indicated him with a wave of her hand and grinned at him as he caught sight of her and a wide grin appeared on his face.

"Hello you, I'm sorry I'm so late..." He bent down to kiss her on the cheek "I did ring but … hey, surprise, surprise … your phone is off … where have you left it this time?"

"Oh yeah …. sorry …. it's in me coat pocket … don't matter, you're not that late …"

She'd been watching the seconds tick past with a sort of sick panicky feeling in the pit of her stomach, but now lied and pretended a nonchalance she hadn't felt. As usual she was the tiniest bit struck dumb at how he looked, she'd still got no idea why his good looks came as such a shock every time she saw him, but they did so that she got a bit tongue tied.

"I really had forgotten your habit of leaving your belongings scattered all over the place"

"Shut up ...I do not …"

"Really? Not how I remember it"

"I was a bit upset, 'n I never meant to leave me phone behind that day, it was a mistake …... anyway I don't need me phone in 'ere do I?"

"There is that ... but I am beginning to think I shouldn't take my eyes off you"

As he smiled down at her, his words and the expression in his dark eyes made her feel all wobbly inside especially when he put his thumb gently on her mouth to stop her saying anything, a move that had the effect of wiping her brain clear of any sort of rational thought. He slowly moved his fingers to her cheekbone and stroked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear in the sort of loved-up couple-like gesture that would give the whole room the impression they were together. It also sent the butterflies in her guts and maybe those a bit lower down into overdrive even though she knew it was just play-acting. He was just doing what he'd said he would to help her stick two fingers up at the couple who hadn't even bothered to bloody turn up yet, not that he knew that.

And that didn't stop a bit of her wishing it was real.

She knew that everyone apart from Donna had now had a good look at him and that they'd tell Donna so really she could, or even should, just tell him it'd be okay if he wanted to leave and that staying to be gawped at by a roomful of drunks was above and beyond. But didn't. She was happy that all the nosy buggers pretending not to watch the floor show had had a good eyeful and was sorely tempted to turn around and curtsey, just to make sure they all had the full benefit of her smug smirk. But didn't do that either.

It wasn't that she wanted him to go, she didn't, she did want him to stay, even if that meant he was adding to the _complicated_ way she felt when he was around. She'd been in love with Tony for as long as she could remember and definitely wasn't the sort of girl who got over someone by having a few shots of Tequila and moving onto another warm body, but she was beginning to find that it was no fun being in love on her own. That didn't mean of course that she was about to jump a virtual stranger to make herself feel better, no matter what he looked like or how nice to her he was. Or how he made her feel when he smiled at her.

Charles was still smiling as he bent forward and kissed her on the cheek again and then whispered against her ear, so that his warm breath ruffled all the little hairs and made her shiver "Which one is he? And I can't actually see anyone who looks like her either"

"That's cos they're not 'ere yet ... sorry … but thank you"

"What for?"

"Rescuing me from this ... they're all waiting to see if I kick off when they do show up … the buggers don't wanna miss anything if punches get thrown"

"Well that's not going to happen is it? And I'll rescue you anytime you need me … you only have to say the word"

Charles was slightly disconcerted to hear words that had such an unmistakeable ring of truth come out of his mouth. All week he'd been telling himself he was only doing it for her and not because he actually wanted to spend time in her company. But he didn't know what was wrong with him, he'd never had a problem before with being unsure of what he wanted, it was just that the more time he spent with Molly the more the solitude that had been so important to him was losing some of its appeal. And that he did mean every word he'd said about coming to her rescue if she needed him and even more annoying was the realisation that he liked being the person she turned to when she needed help.

He slung an arm round her shoulder and tightened his grip to pull her into his side and give her a small hug "Come on let's go and find you a very large drink"

"What about you?"

"Driving I'm afraid … come on, come and introduce me to your friend"

"That's Tessa ... she called you Clarke Kent ... can't see it meself"

"Can't you? How bloody disappointing" He threw his head back and laughed as though she'd just told him the joke of the century and although Molly was sure he'd only done it as part of the act to make it look as if they had that sort of relationship, it also made a blush creep up her face at the way everyone immediately looked over at them "I know, it's because I haven't got any glasses, maybe I should get some"

"You can if you want ... but don't think it matters, I'm sure it's not your glasses she's interested in ... all you gotta do is play your cards right 'n smile at 'er and you've pulled"

Charles stopped and stood still but kept his arm over her shoulders as he looked down at her and raised his eyebrows, a quizzical, almost hurt expression on his face.

"Lovely ... I'll bear that in mind … but would you mind telling me what the fuck makes you think I'm interested in pulling someone else when I'm here with you?"

"I don't … not really …."

She couldn't believe what she'd just said to him, of all the stupid shit to come out of her mouth that was some of the best. She should have known it would upset him and that it was insulting, he'd never given her the slightest reason to think he was the sort of bloke who would do something like that, in fact just the opposite "Sorry … it was s'posed to be a joke, pretty crap one I know..."

"It needs work …."

-OG-

He'd been totally accurate when he'd said the party was likely to be a carbon copy of the platoon booze-ups he'd taken part in over the years, except that he was one of the very few people in the room who remained sober. It wasn't something that usually happened, and it definitely wasn't going to happen the following night when his presence was apparently an essential requirement at the 2 Section celebration. Charles had already decided that they would have a far better time without him casting a shadow over it, his relationship with them had deteriorated to a new low over recent months, but Beck had collared him and twisted his arm to tell him that he had to be there. His boss had put a three-line whip on it, had insisted that attendance wasn't optional and that he should look on it as an opportunity to re-build bridges that had fractured between him and his section since Elvis.

-OG-

He knew the instant they showed up, not because Molly pointed them out, but because he was aware of the way she was suddenly rigid with tension. She went from thoroughly enjoying herself, giving as good as she got and being a happy, laughing, _glowing_ girl who was doing everything she could to include him in the happy chatter and laughter to suddenly becoming full of a forced gaiety.

"Hey …" He looked at the few couples who were stumbling round the small dance floor and put out his hand to take her empty glass and put it on the table "Come on, come and dance with me"

"What?"

"Dance with me … you know, move about to the music … "

"Nah … I'd feel stupid … can't do this sort of dancing can I and … you're too tall anyway … or I'm too small … or something"

"Nothing to do with them watching us then?"

"Nah …. well, yeah a bit … and I still can't dance …'n you're still too tall"

"Of course you can dance, we'll just stand still and lean against one another and sway about a bit in time to the music …" Charles smirked "That's what we call dancing where I come from, at least it's how I do it … and …. and you know you're exactly the right height for me … or you will be when you put your bloody shoes back on … you're perfect"

"Nah I'm not" Molly was biting her lip to stop the involuntary smirk. She wasn't drunk but wasn't entirely sober either and suddenly badly wanted to dance with him. She wanted to put her arms round him or more importantly she wanted to feel him put his arms round her, and even though she was still a bit afraid of looking stupid she did as he asked and put her shoes on "I don't do perfect"

"Are you arguing with me?"

"Nah"

"Good …. and you are perfect … and you know I'm always right"

"Who says?"

Molly had been aware of everything that was happening across the other side of the room, it was as if she had eyes at the back of her head and was only grateful that at least the two of them hadn't come over and joined the group she was talking to. She was so aware of them that she knew precisely who they were talking to ever since they'd come barrelling in looking bloody pleased with themselves. It was the first time she'd seen Tony since the day he'd stood in front of everyone and pledged undying love for that cow, who, if Tessa was telling the truth, had deliberately set out to take him away from her as though it was a competition and he was the fucking prize. But even though it still hurt, a bit, her feelings about it seemed to have changed. She wasn't battling tears and hadn't got that horrible tight feeling in her chest when she thought about what they'd done to her, especially what Donna had done. Instead she was starting to think they were welcome to each other. It seemed she'd been very wrong about Donna, turned out she was a nasty cow, not that it made any difference, he couldn't have loved her very much if he could be taken away as easily as that. He was just bloody weak.

It looked like they were asking people about Charles which should have pleased her, after all it had actually been the whole point of him being there, but it no longer seemed that important somehow.

Charles could feel their eyes on him and was aware of the whispering as Molly looped her arms round the back of his neck and moved forward until she was leaning against him. He felt the moment when she relaxed and stopped worrying about who was watching them and began to move, her body touching his as he closed his eyes and rested his chin on the top of her head. They swayed in time to the music until a wave of desire for her swept over him and he knew he was in trouble. He forced himself to move away from her slightly, suddenly aware that he didn't ever want the dance to come to an end.

-OG-

"So, who is he then?"

"Who?"

Molly had had a pee and was washing her hands as quickly as she possibly could in a desperate rush to get away from Donna and get back to Charles. She was sure Donna had followed her into the loos to mount an interrogation, and suddenly didn't want to talk to her. She had nothing she wanted to say.

"That bloke …. the one you were dancing with … we were just wondering who he is that's all …. I mean, you've never mentioned him before …"

"Haven't I? …" Molly pushed the button on the hot air dryer and then shouted over the racket it was making "Who's this _we?_ What's it to you anyway?"

Molly could hear how truculent and defensive she sounded, their friendship really was a thing of the distant past.

"No need to be like that Molls, Tony worries about you … we both do …you know that"

"Do you? Can't think why … and it's none of Tone's fucking business is it, or yours come to that … so you can tell him there's no need for him to worry …"

"But Molly …. I mean, who is he exactly?"

Donna had her caring, concerned face on, the one she used all the time when she was trying to get her own way. It was the one that Molly knew almost as well as she knew her own face, she should do, it was something she'd giggled at when they'd been friends. The only thing was, because of that she knew just how fake it was.

"I already told you, no-one you know ….. 'n it's got nothin' to do with either of you, has it?"

"Don't be like that, I'm worried about you, we both are … we just want to make sure you're okay"

"That's nice …" Molly smirked at her reflection in the mirror and then ran a finger under her eyes pretending to be making sure there were no stray flecks of mascara "I'm fine … thanks"

Molly couldn't keep the smug smile off her face as she flounced out of the loos and childishly let the door swing back in Donna's face, then grinned when she saw Charles watching for her. He had his eyebrows raised and a really worried look on his face, a look that melted away as soon as he saw the expression on hers. Far from being upset, which was what had been worrying him when he'd seen Donna follow her in there, she'd actually emerged looking very pleased with herself.

-OG-


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Firstly I want to thank you so much for your support and for all the lovely reviews for Part 1 … this is Part 2 which I hope everyone will enjoy.**_

 **-OG-**

The singing was pretty bloody dreadful by anyone's standards but the volume more than made up for the lack of quality. It was definitely very loud, and it didn't seem to matter much to anyone just how out of tune they were or how loud it was, they were all singing as though they were auditioning for Britain's Got Talent, and Charles was no exception. To his ears the singing was absolutely fucking dire, but he was standing with his arms round Molly as she leaned back against him and belted out her own singularly out of tune version of "I love Rock 'n Roll" and "Here it is Merry Christmas" he found he was enjoying himself in a way that he'd forgotten ever existed. And that was despite the fact that he was probably the only completely sober one in the room.

The best moment for him came when she heard him sing the first few notes and had spun round with a look of total awe on her face, her eyes wide as he'd winked at her. It had been a very long time since he'd sung in front of anyone and he'd forgotten just how much it meant to him.

The party was still going strong when they left, or at least there were a few real diehards still there, people that Molly was pretty sure were going on to Donna's, or rather Donna and Tony's as it was now, to carry on with the partying. It was what they'd always done before when they'd had parties including the one where she'd stupidly taken Tony with her so that he could get to know her best friend. He'd done that in a way she certainly hadn't bargained for, so it came as no shock that she hadn't been invited this time. Not that she would have gone even if someone had asked her, she was never going to introduce Charles to Donna, not that he was hers or anything like that. It didn't stop her feeling just a little bit left out though, a bit of a 'Billy no mates' leper.

She wasn't sure how she and Charles ended up walking back to his car hand in hand, but she'd loved it when he'd wrapped his large warm hand round her small cold one, especially when he tightened his grip on her fingers. It was hard now for her to remember that it was only about five minutes ago that she'd had him down as a fucking miserable arse shouty soldier because now she thought he was lovely even if he did walk too bloody fast o legs that were so much longer than hers that she was having trouble keeping up with him. She wasn't drunk, although she wasn't exactly sober either but she was just a tiny bit unsteady on her feet and was stumbling a bit because she was bloody shattered.

It had been a really long day, she'd overslept and hadn't had time for breakfast and had been at work since 6 that morning and had been rushed off her feet all day because they'd been short staffed because a lot of people had taken their days off for the party. It had been a bit shit that she was already knackered before she had to start getting tarted up to go straight on to something she'd been worrying herself sick about all week. It had been bloody hard to feel in the slightest bit like it was Christmas and that she was getting ready to go to a sodding party, but then the evening that she'd been dreading so much had actually turned out brilliant. Even though it seemed to have lasted about a fortnight.

And now she was on her own with him and it was just the two of them walking along hand in hand she didn't want it to ever be over. She hadn't known him very long and she'd bloody hated him the day he'd helped her get home after the wedding. Well, she hadn't exactly hated him, more she'd been a bit afraid of him at first, had been bloody convinced he had evil on his mind. Funny how things changed.

-OG-

"Right … so …. here we are then"

Even he could hear how bloody hearty his voice sounded but he was struggling to think about something other than any idea he might have been entertaining about going in for the euphemistic cup of coffee. Not that he'd counted on it or anything, but that didn't stop him feeling a pang of disappointment when he saw the fairy lights twinkling round the windows of her house. He knew it meant it was odds on that Bella was still very much up and about, because he couldn't believe that she'd just go off to bed and leave the lights on like that. Although of course she might have left them for Molly, but somehow he didn't think so.

He could hear the distant echo of Elvis' voice telling him that it was his own fault, that he was a total dick and that he needed to get laid because it had been too long, that he should stop acting like a fucking hermit and get himself out there. Once upon a time when he and Elvis had spent a lot of time hanging out the way they had he wouldn't have hesitated, but Elvis was gone and it all seemed a very long time ago now. He no longer had the slightest desire to find someone and have meaningless sex with them and his track record with any other kind of relationship wasn't that great either. The last time he'd got involved with anyone he'd married her, and look how well that has turned out. He shouldn't even have shaken hands with her let alone made a baby, even though Sam was the apple of his eye.

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Yeah I did thanks and thanks …." Molly shrugged"

"What for?"

"Letting me drag you along like that …it wouldn't 'ave been the same without you ….. and ….. I really appreciate it .. 'n I'm dead sorry if it was a bit shit …?"

"Not a bit …. It wasn't, I enjoyed it and anyway I didn't notice anyone _dragging_ me anywhere … I only wish I could invite you to hold my hand tomorrow night …. but there are no females in the platoon at the moment so stags only I'm afraid … god help me"

"That good eh?"

"Yep …. you'd better believe it"

"In that case, you will be careful won't you?"

"Always"

He'd been about to tell her that none of the antics of her drunken mates at tonight's little get together could hold a candle to 2 Section when they were out on the piss, especially when they put their minds to it, but kept his mouth shut. For some reason she'd sounded genuinely concerned about him and suddenly he didn't want to say anything that might make her worry. Instead there was a small silence as they sat and looked at one another with their gazes locked, both of them waiting for the other to say something to break the silence or to make a move of some sort.

"Ummm … we still got some of that coffee left … do you wanna come in?" Molly bit her lip, willing him to say he would "Bella will prob'ly still be up …. but she'll get off to bed …"

That at least was something she could guarantee, if she had anything to do with it her sister was going to be out of there even if she had to drag her up the stairs herself.

"Oh fuck … now that is a frightening thought"

Charles leaned forward and put his hands lightly on the steering wheel before he turned and grinned over at her with an expression of mock terror on his face. For some reason she couldn't quite explain she'd told him all about Bella thinking he was the nuts, and although she had no clear idea now why she'd said any of it, except that she'd had a fair bit to drink, Bella would bloody kill her if she ever found out that her brain had been somewhere else when her mouth had been flapping. A faintly horrified expression had appeared on his face when she'd fallen about laughing and he'd frowned and chewed at his bottom lip as he flicked the odd glance at her where she was giggling and tried to concentrate on the road.

"But how old is she for fuck sake?"

"She's four and a bit years younger than me, so nearly 20"

"So …. she's what? 19 … fuck … well, at least that's older than I thought, but I'm 32, Molly … Jesus…"

"Don't worry you don't look it"

"Thanks"

"You're welcome … you don't look a day over 31"

"Lovely …"

She'd been laughing like a drain as she'd told him, enjoying his obvious discomfort, but now the whole conversation had come back to bite her on the bum with a vengeance. She still couldn't think what the fuck had possessed her. The last thing she wanted was for him to go, she wanted him to come in the house and spend some more time with her, but knew he wouldn't now she'd blabbed about Bella. Not that she could blame him, but it wasn't like she expected to have sex or anything, not exactly, but it was as if telling him all that shit meant he'd gone back to when they'd been to the Castle and she'd been longing for him to say he'd like to see her again. And hadn't.

He'd said about wishing he could take her to his Christmas party with him but that it wasn't possible and she'd believed he was telling her the truth, but then he hadn't suggested anything else and she badly wanted him to. She knew, or thought she did, that she wasn't imagining that he liked her, she was almost sure he did unless he was a bloody brilliant actor, but then every time she started to get a bit closer to him, he seemed to think about it and get all distant again.

"Come on, Cinderella, find your bloody shoes and let's get you in"

"Okay …"

Molly deliberately strung out finding her key for as long as she possibly could and then fiddled about hesitating before putting it in the lock. She was trying very hard to put off the moment when he'd get in his car and leave as once again the little voice in her head was screaming at her that if she just gave him a chance he was bound to ask her. But he didn't, and there was still a bit of her that wasn't sure enough of herself to be the one who asked him. Just in case he said no.

"I know you said you were working at Christmas … but when are you actually off?"

"Middle of the week but we're taking Martin up to see Mum and Nan and taking their presents 'n that and then Bella and me are taking him and the others to see Father Christmas" Molly paused and grimaced "Dunno how he's gonna be, you know when he sees that they're all together and he's with us … still … s'pect we'll work somethin' out …. then I'm back working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day … well, nights … and then I'm off till after New Year … why?"

"Good … I don't mean it's good you have to work Christmas … of course it's not, obviously that's shit …"

"But …?"

She wanted to shout at him, _just ask me, just bloody ask me why don't you and just stop messing, what you bleeding waiting for?_

"I was going to ask … I wondered if you'd do me a favour and come and hold my hand on Boxing Day … every year my mother, well my parents, have this god-awful party and every year it's the same thing …. I've managed to avoid a fair few of them, but not all by any means"

He paused and remembered taking a very bored Rebecca to one of them, when she'd found the whole thing incredibly tedious and hadn't bothered to make a secret of the way she felt.

"The ones I haven't managed to be away for have been pretty fucking dreadful … full of pompous bloody awful dull people who are boring as fuck to talk to … but if you come with me I promise you won't have to talk to any of them, only me …"

There was a long pause as he looked over at her with a rueful expression on his face and then slowly shook his head "I'm not exactly selling this to you, am I?"

"Nah" Molly had this huge urge to giggle, mainly because she was suddenly extremely happy "Yeah, yeah you are …. I'd love to …" She laughed "Don't worry about it, it'll be fine … I talk to all sorts of people all the time at work, I'm used to 'aving to talk to loads of boring buggers …. and that's just the staff …"

Charles roared with laughter "They speak very highly of you as well …"

"Yeah, well so they should, I'm the nuts …"

"Yup … that's what everyone says… "

"Stop it … that's bullshit 'n you're making me blush … but you can kiss me goodnight if you want"

His laughter slowly drained away as he looked at her steadily without saying anything. It was taking him a huge effort of will to drag his eyes away from her mouth as he blinked and chewed at the corner of his lip and then leant forward and kissed her lightly on the mouth. He immediately stepped back and created a distance between them and told himself not to even think about pouncing.

"I know I'm dead well known for being subtle" She giggled "But that was actually an invitation" Even as she spoke she suddenly wished she hadn't said anything, that kiss definitely hadn't been the kind she'd had in mind.

"Yup I know …. and I love how subtle you are …." He laughed "But …. it's getting late and I really should get going in a minute …"

"Yeah ….… course ….…. it's just thatI … look, it don't matter … I'm gonna shut up now"

He was right of course. Short of going to sit in his car which wasn't going to happen or taking a bleeding chance on Bella pissing off to bed, which was also highly bloody unlikely, there was nowhere for them to even be on their own. And she'd come very close to telling him how much she liked him so it was definitely time for her to shut up. She didn't want him to go but knew he wasn't going to stay and that he wasn't going to kiss her the way she wanted but whether that was because of Bella and Martin she didn't know. She didn't want to think it might be that he didn't think of her like that, that he wanted her as a friend, well she already felt like they were friends, but she couldn't help being a bit afraid that it was all he wanted, nothing more. She was getting a bit pissed off with wanting blokes who didn't want her. But it still felt like it was going to be a long time till she'd see him again.

"You know it's a bit bloody hard to know what it is you're thinking sometimes don't you?"

"I know"

She put her hand up and touched the side of his face and watched as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath at the feel of her fingers running down his face and as she stroked the stubble that was emerging on his chin. The dark arcs of his lashes fluttered on his cheekbones as he bit his lip and then captured her hand where it was resting against his cheek and kissed slowly across the back of her knuckles. He turned her hand over and gently kissed the inside of her wrist, his eyes locked on her face the whole time his lips were touching her skin.

"Sometimes even I don't know …. I'm sorry…. I can't explain it, it's just how I am"

"I know ….…"

But suddenly he seemed to be standing very close so that her heart was beginning to pound as if it was about to jump out her chest and she was sure it was loud enough for him to hear. Somehow it felt very different from earlier when he'd been standing close to her when they been singing or even when he'd touched her while they were dancing. She was almost holding her breath when he leaned forward again and touched her lips with his and then leant away again to look at her before he moved his hands to cradle her head and twined his fingers in her hair. He kissed her again and again and this time he closed his eyes as he deepened the kisses and she kissed him back and then began running her hands over his shoulders and his chest and up and down his back. Her fingers told her how rock hard and strong his body was until she stopped thinking about anything at all except that she was drowning in the feel of his lips on hers, and of his hands touching her skin.

Eventually they ran out of breath and had to pull back a little and he leaned his forehead against hers and inhaled deeply. Molly knew he was about to say something and instinctively held her breath and began to pray that he wasn't about to say that it was a mistake and that he shouldn't have kissed her. Or even worse that he was sorry, not when she was more bloody turned on than she could ever remember.

"You okay?"

"Yeah …. I've been wanting to kiss you again like that ever since the first time you kissed me … but just for a minute there I thought you was gonna say … oh shit, I don't know what I was thinking"

"Believe me you're not the only one … all I know is that you're fucking awesome …. and that you scare the living shit out of me"

"Me… how do I scare you? Oh I see … you're kidding, right?"

"Nope …. I'm not …." He dropped a kiss on the top of her head and took a deep breath which sounded a little bit shaky to Molly "I'll see you after Christmas … Boxing Day … which now feels like a very, very long time away …"

"You will be careful tomorrow won't you … don't get too slaughtered … don't do anything you'll be sorry about"

"Are you worrying about me?" Charles raised his eyebrows and chuckled as he stroked the hair from her face "Hey there's no need to worry, I'm the officer, so I'll be setting a good example …. I'll call you"

"What? When you get home pissed? Don't be daft, but you better call me after or you'll be going to your mum's party on your own"

"You wouldn't do that to me"

"Wouldn't I?"

"Nope"

-OG-


	12. Chapter 12

He'd been drinking steadily all night but was still sober, almost.

His mind kept wandering to Molly and wondering what she was doing, and the more he drank the more he knew he'd far rather be sitting on the sofa in that cluttered sitting room talking to her than propping up the bar in some pub and doing his best to drink himself stupid while he watched others doing the same thing. He was pretty sure he remembered her saying she wasn't working, well as sure as he could be when his memory was slightly on the clouded side, but the alcohol induced haze wasn't stopping him feeling guilty every time he thought about how incredibly fucking selfish it had been for him to ask her to go to his mother's party with him like that. He'd known from the instant the words left his mouth that it was a dick move on his part, that she was going to bloody hate it, almost as much as his mother was going to hate her. He was almost tempted to call and tell her the truth and at least let her think about it but was just drunk enough to tell himself he didn't want to and to leave things as they were. The thought of her going to that party with him was all that was making it bearable.

His mother would have almost certainly already lined someone up for him and there was a reasonable chance it would be one of the bloody women she'd already paraded in front of him at one of the tedious dinner parties she specialised in. She appeared to have convinced herself that it had somehow become her business to sort out his life and to find someone to fill the gap left by Rebecca when she'd pissed off, someone _suitable_ , although for her to start taking any interest in his life at this stage was something of a joke _._ And he knew that there was no way Molly was going to fit the bill as far as his mother was concerned, she was just about wrong in every conceivable way, so he wasn't sure what the fuck had possessed him. What did he think had given him the right to decide it was okay to drag her along as some sort of human shield? To use her like that to prove a fucking point to his bloody mother and to do it without even telling her what she was getting into.

Nothing lasts forever of course and the evening that had, at times, felt interminable eventually staggered to an inevitable drunken conclusion. The stalwarts of the group were making plans to go on to a club but he was just glad to escape and leave them to it, and breathed a huge sigh of relief once he was safely in the taxi where he could put his head back and close his eyes and relish the solitude and silence. He was heartily glad it was over and that he'd managed a few coherent words of thanks in reply to the apparently wholehearted assurances that he'd always been the best and always would be, not that he actually believed that for a single second. But he'd managed to survive the very enthusiastic and drunken shoulder clapping that had accompanied the sentiments as he'd left to go back to barracks. Despite the changes over the years he and 2 Section went a very long way back, they'd been through a lot together and their apparent forgiveness of his recent Rupert-like behaviour and their basic warmth towards him had left him feeling _comforted._ Daniel would have been proud of how receptive he'd been to their overtures.

But as soon as he'd got into his quarters and slumped on the bed and tried his best to bring his phone properly into focus, he realised he was actually a fair bit more pissed than he'd initially thought. Despite his vague memories of making a promise to call her when he got back, he stuck to composing and sending a text a short 'safely home' message instead. It was safer. He couldn't risk hearing her laugh at him or accuse him of being a prannet, and a drunk one at that, which he undoubtedly was, because he was a very long way from being in sufficient control of what he said, he was neither focussed nor alert.

-OG-

Charles was officially on leave but had opted instead to come in and work, supposedly to catch up on some outstanding paperwork but it was more that he found the time hung very heavily when he was at home, or rather at his parents' home, he no longer had a home of his own. Barracks couldn't be described as home by any stretch of the imagination and for the first time since his split from Rebecca he had begun to feel the need for a place he could call his own. But he was too restless to concentrate on the spread sheets he'd been checking before they'd spoken so wandered over to the window instead and just stood and stared into the distance, not really seeing anything. He still wasn't sure he knew what the fuck he was doing, but knew he was in danger of over-thinking it, and hearing her voice certainly hadn't helped. He couldn't even begin to properly explain it to himself, let alone decide whether or not he was doing the right thing about this girl who had started to haunt his bloody dreams.

Where the fuck was Daniel when he needed a sounding board? Not that he would share his concerns with him, the whole idea was fucking insane when spending any time at all with the man was the very last thing he'd choose to do. Although to be strictly fair it wasn't Daniel in particular, the whole concept of baring his soul for a stranger to make notes was a total anathema to him. He was far too private for any of that and he'd hated the idea of parading the emotions he worked so hard to bury. He still did. But the shit-storm that had surrounded his descent into depression had made Beck decide it was time for professional intervention together with his obvious disillusion with army life which meant Daniel had been tasked with sorting him out. Not that Charles had seen much evidence of a magic wand and in the absence of a tardis he failed to see how else the man was going to restore him to the person he used to be, but for some reason he wouldn't have minded talking through his current dilemma with him. Which was just bloody typical considering Daniel had gone home for Christmas.

-OG-

Molly had still been laughing happily when she disconnected the call. The grin on her face was lingering on from listening to him chuckle and recount snippets from the party that were designed to make her laugh and which made it sound a bit shit to her. The longer he'd chatted the more she'd enjoyed listening to him and the harder it got for her to recognise him as the same "stick up his arse" Charles that she'd first met. It was the second time she'd spoken to him and he'd sent her a text when he'd got home from the party, which he'd said was because he thought she might be asleep, but which she knew was more likely to be because he was slaughtered. This time he said he'd rung her about Boxing Day because he couldn't remember whether he'd told her about her needing to stay the night in Bath. Which she knew he hadn't because it was definitely the first she'd bloody heard of it and she knew that he knew that as well as she did. He was just bothered about how to mention it in case she thought he was being sleazy.

"Me? Stay with you?"

"Indeed …." He paused and realised what she'd said and what she meant "No of course not … not like that, I meant stay in a spare room, that's the one thing they have got plenty of … it's just that normally I need at least a bucket of booze to survive one of these parties … but if you don't want to stay you needn't worry, I won't drink if you don't want me to, if you want to get home I'll understand"

"Do you want me to stay?"

"There's a question …"

"Nah, didn't mean it like that …."

"I know … and yes, I do, but you don't have to stay sober either, we can make it our mission for the evening to drink as much of her booze as we can"

"Right … well I s'pose so … in that case …"

"Lovely"

Molly was pretty convinced that he'd meant that as joke, although she couldn't swear to it. It was hard to tell when he wasn't in front of her and she couldn't see his eyes, couldn't see the expression on his face, but she had every intention of pacing herself whatever he said. She was more than a bit nervous at the thought of whole thing without getting pissed, but was sort of especially not happy at the way he'd jumped in and made it plain he wasn't asking her to stay _with him_ exactly. That he was talking about her staying at his mother's house. One thing she did know about herself was that she wasn't good at first impressions, she was shit at them, so mothers didn't tend to warm to her until they got to know her better.

It was only after she'd hung up and gone back to trying to think and make lists of what she still had to do for Christmas that she realised they hadn't really said anything personal at all apart from him telling her he didn't want her to sleep with him. They'd laughed about his party and the hangover he'd had after and he'd teased her about going to see Santa and about what she was going to ask him for and they'd talked about his mum's party, and her stopping over in Bath but it was as if they were two friends having a chat and a laugh, nothing more, not even friends with benefits.

Her main worry now was what the fuck she was going to wear. She had her black dress and she had jeans, and there was Bella's stuff. But somehow, she didn't think her sister's selection of party gear from TopShop and assorted market stalls was going to cut it. Most of it was definitely clubbing gear and was more suitable for going out on the pull than a party in Bath with someone's mum. And she had no money. What money she had she'd spent on Christmas presents, especially for Martin, and there was just enough left over for their fares home. She'd had to pay off the payday loan she'd taken out to pay him back, and the thought had crossed her mind of maybe getting another one, but knew that when you're always brassic like her, it would be too easy to get hooked and get in trouble. So basically, she was stuffed and her black dress would have to do even if it had been out with him almost as many times as she had, she had no choice.

-OG-

"Hello you …" He kissed her on her cheek and held her away from him and looked at her "You look beautiful"

"Hello … me? … I do? What about you? … Shit, if I'd of known I'd 'ave got me jewels out"

Before he'd actually rung on the doorbell, she'd felt quite good, she'd had a good sleep after not really expecting to get any at all. Even though she'd been knackered she'd expected to be too keyed up and excited, or maybe dreading it or something to sleep, but she'd slept like the bloody dead until Bella had kept her promise and woken her in plenty of time to do her hair properly and her face and even to have time for a cuppa. Everything had seemed under control, she was even beginning to look forward to it a bit, well she was until she'd seen him standing in the porch. She'd been happy that she actually looked quite good in the dress Nan had got for her for Christmas, it not only fitted her lovely but was the sort of dark bluey green colour that she'd have picked for herself, so she was pretty sure Bella had had a hand in it somewhere. Bella had giggled and said it was just a bloody good job it fitted because it might have been a tad awkward taking it back seeing as how they didn't know she even had it.

Molly was usually a bit funny about the way Nan did her shopping, and she hated the thought that Bella had gone with her on one of her little expeditions. She didn't like that Bella could have been in deep shit any more than she liked wearing things that were moody but it was lovely and she'd swallowed her principles enough that she'd been prepared to make an exception just this once. But then when she saw him, she lost the power to think straight about anything, she wasn't even sure whether she could remember how to breathe properly. She wasn't used to going anywhere with someone who was dressed like a bloody film star, and it wasn't even the way he looked in it, not really, although he looked shitting hot and drop dead gorgeous, it was the way he looked like he was used to looking like that.

When he'd showed up at her Unit party, she'd admitted to herself that she got a shock every time she saw him of just how good looking he was but that was then and today was something else entirely. Now she was literally shitting a brick. Fuck sake, what was she thinking of, her, Molly Dawes, about to go off to some dead posh party with some dead sophisticated looking posh bloke who was dressed like that so that he looked the way he did and there was her, in her stolen market stall frock?

"You comin' in … gonna come 'n say hello? … Bella's through there .. and … Martin … and me Nan's 'ere 'n all"

"I'd love to … but are you sure it's okay, you know, with Martin?"

"Yeah"

"Thanks … hey, Bella won't eat me will she?"

He laughed but sounded just the tiniest bit unsure, he wasn't used to teenage girls who had a crush on him, not when he knew about it anyway.

"Nah … but me Nan might though"

"Lovely…"

"You think I'm joking?"

-OG-

To Charles the room was warm and cluttered and full of a sense of Molly. There was a fire burning and a Christmas tree covered in lights and baubles and bits of sparking tinselly stuff that was taking up a good bit of the floor space, a tree that couldn't be more different from the two that were gracing the house in Bath. Both of those were themed and colour co-ordinated, beautifully decorated with tiny white lights echoing the garlanded bannister rails and the edges of the shelves in the alcoves of the drawing room.

This room also had a complicated battle scene set up across the rest of the floor and over the cushions on the chairs and sofa so that there were toy soldiers everywhere he looked as a little brown-haired boy made whooshing noises simulating that they were fighting some war.

"Mar'in … come and say hello to Charles … he's a real soldier"

Charles saw a little boy with the same green eyes as his sisters and who at first glance appeared very much smaller than Sam, but was of course two years younger, a boy who was an identi-kit to his older sisters. There could be no mistaking they were from the same family. He looked up at Charles for a tiny fraction of a second and muttered something before he hastily looked away and Charles remembered what Molly had said about how shy he was. Martin looked over at his sister doubtfully under his lashes, obviously thinking she was lying through her teeth because soldiers didn't dress like that.

"Hello Martin … are you winning?"

Charles felt a momentary pang of loss as Martin nodded shyly before turning back to his game, he was obviously of the mindset that if he pretended Charles wasn't there, he'd leave. Just for a moment Charles wondered whether Sam still played with his soldiers, whether he still had wars on the sofa, although somehow, he doubted Rebecca would encourage it.

"Oh look, it's Charlie Boy"

"Bella … " He couldn't possibly miss the warning note in Molly's voice as he nodded at Bella who'd appeared with a plate of sandwiches nor could he miss the glare that Molly gave her "You promised …"

"Did I? Oh yeah … I did, didn't I?" Bella blatantly looked Charles up and down before raising her eyebrows with a smirk on her face "Blimey … you never told us you was royalty …"

"Didn't I? … Didn't Meghann tell you?"

"Shut up ..." Molly giggled before turning to her sister but Charles could still detect a definite undercurrent between the two of them "Where's Nan?"

"Probably putting her slap on …."

"Oh god, she's not is she?"

Bella giggled and tapped the side of her nose indicating that she knew more than Molly and then turned her attention back to Charles "Don't worry Charlie it's obvious you're not one of them lot, you're better looking for a start, well …. 'arry's ginger inne? … means he's got ging…"

"Bella … shut up"

"Now then, who's this?"

They all turned to look as a tall and very slim lady with hair that was either white or very bleached blonde and a face full of make-up came bustling in much to Molly's obvious relief so that he wondered what Bella had been about to say to him, although he could hazard a guess. The newcomer would have been looking at him over the top of her glasses if she'd been wearing any, but as it was she raised her eyebrows and directed a piercing gaze in his direction.

"I presume this is the famous Charles"

"NAN!"

"Hello … Yes, I'm Charles … I don't know about famous …It's very nice to meet you, I've heard a lot about you"

Nan got her first really good look at him as he put out his hand to shake hers and her expression softened considerably so that she was suddenly oozing with smiles and was full of hospitality and charm.

"Must say haven't heard much about you … well don't just stand there … come on in, Charles and sit down … make yourself at home, and please call me Marge … now can I get you something to drink?"

"Oh Christ, she's in bleeding Downton now"

"Bella!"

Charles was aware that both Bella and Molly had collapsed into floods of giggles at something Bella had muttered although he hadn't actually caught what it was as he concentrated on what Marge was saying to him.

"Now, you just make sure you look after our Molls or you'll have me to deal with, you look like a nice enough young man but her mum and dad aren't here to say it, not that he'd be much bleeding use, but she's a good girl 'n she hasn't always had it easy … she works really hard and she deserves a good'un …. and that Tony … well, never took to him meself … but … "

"NAN for fu… for god's sake, just shut up will you? We're going to a party not bleeding eloping"

"Told you, Downton" Bella was now laughing so hard it sounded as though she was about to throw up "It's that …" She waved a hand up and down indicating his tuxedo "It's got her a bit confused … it's her age"

"Bella Dawes … you mind your manners … you're not too old my girl …."

"Yes ma'am, no ma'am, sorry ma'am"

"Can we go now … please?"

-OG-

"Shit … could me family be any more bleeding embarrassing?"

"You haven't met mine yet … and your family care about you … I thought your Nan was lovely …"

"Liar … you did not ….. lovely? … Nan? you bleeding nuts? She's not lovely, she's just bloody determined to enjoy her 'Don't give a flying fuck years' and to say whatever she likes …. And she's a sucker for blokes with pretty faces … especially when they're a bit fit 'n all"

"Are you saying I'm fit Miss Dawes?"

"Nah …. Alright maybe in that lot you are a bit … You bloody know you are, so stop it, stop fishing"

-OG-

"Bloody hell Charles … last time I went in somewhere like this I had to pay to get in … why didn't you tell me you live in a bloody stately home?"

"Hardly"

Molly looked at him and giggled "Hope it's got decent tea rooms"

"The best"

Charles wrapped her hand in his so that they were doing one of her favourite things and walking hand in hand towards the shiny front door with its extravagant door knocker and the beautiful wreath "Come on, be brave and let's get this over with … "

"Why do you sound like you're lobbing me out of a plane or something?"

"Do I? Sorry … after you"

"I'm not exactly dressed right for this am I?"

Molly looked down at her dress and ran a hand over it to try and smooth out the creases from sitting in the car. She was wondering what the fuck she was doing with someone dressed like him who looked like they'd been born to it, which he had, while she felt like her frock yelled cheap from Newham market.

"What do you mean? Of course you are, you look beautiful …. you're going to be by far the most beautiful girl here"

"How old are the rest of them?"

"Ahhhh … there is that"

Their shared laugh went a long way to settling her nerves as she looked round with wide eyed awe at the tiled hallway with its massive Christmas tree at one end and then at the splendour of the staircase. It looked to her to be almost bigger than her whole house and probably her next-door neighbours thrown in as well and it smelled expensive. In spite of the faint smell of party food there were this lovely smell like the posh Christmas candles in the garden centre, and the whole space was filled with loads of lights, not only from the chandeliers but the strings and strings of tiny white lights echoing the ones on the tree. They were twinkling up the stairs in amongst the masses of greenery which was obviously real, there wasn't a plastic garland anywhere in sight.

"It's beautiful in 'ere …."

"Yep …"

"Has Sam got a skateboard?"

"What?" Charles put his head on one side and considered the tiled floor before putting his head back and laughing "No, not yet … but it's a great idea"

"I'm joking …. I can't believe you grew up somewhere like this"

"I didn't … I grew up in a dormitory at school … this was just somewhere I used to come when school was shut"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: I hope you enjoy this and thank you for continuing with your support and for your lovely reviews, I know I've said it before but without them I would probably have to try and live in the real world for a bit and not in my happy little parallel universe.**_


	13. Chapter 13

The minute she saw her Molly knew that this woman had to be his mum, not only did she have a definite look of him with her dark curls but she was nearly as tall as he was for fuck sake, although that could be the mega heels with red soles that she was wearing. Molly instantly coveted them. She knew they were the real thing that had cost a fucking fortune because there was no way someone like her would be wearing knock-off from down the market. Any more than she'd got all that jewellery from nipping down to Accessorise, that was bloody real as well. Molly would have laid bets that she'd almost certainly never even heard of a payday loan, let alone needed one, except maybe on adverts on the tele. And she'd probably never worn a dress that had fallen off the back of a market stall in her life.

Molly pasted her most ingratiating 'please like me' smile on her face as she got ready to say hello, because if this was his mum, and she was pretty sure it was, she wasn't exactly jumping up and down with excitement or looking overjoyed to see them.

"Charles … you are very late … where have you been? … I was beginning to think you were going to let me down again … and …. who's this?"

"This is a friend of mine, Mum, this is Molly … Molly, this is my mother Caroline … who appears to think we're late for some reason"

"Hi …." Oh shit, she'd sounded like Bella talking to one of her mates "I mean, hello Mrs James, it's very nice to meet you, I'm dead sorry if …"

But Caroline didn't seem to care what Molly was sorry for, she'd turned back to Charles and wasn't even looking at her anymore, was instead looking at him with an ' _if looks could kill'_ face.

"Charles ….. I'd really appreciate a quick word with you …" She looked at Molly but still without acknowledging her or dredging up a smile from somewhere "If you wouldn't mind excusing us for one moment …"

Fuck … Molly knew a polite piss off when she heard one especially from someone whose voice sounded like she was putting it on, like she was trying to sound like the Queen or someone, but who still hadn't managed to dredge up a smile from anywhere. All she'd done was give him this _look_. She looked just like he did when he was in one of his miserable fucker moods, and was about as warm and friendly as he'd been the day she'd put that sodding car in a ditch, when she'd been convinced he was a serial killer. But instead of lovely warm brown eyes Caroline had eyes like little brown pebbles and a mouth that Nan would describe as like a cat's bum.

Molly couldn't see exactly where she was supposed to piss off to, not only hadn't she had a proper welcome but she couldn't actually see anywhere to sit and wait and she was buggered if she was going to sit on the stairs or go for a walk or something. It was as if there was definitely something going on between him and his mum that she couldn't read, but it was something he seemed to have forgotten to tell her about.

"Sorry Molly, I won't be a sec …"

He shook his head as if he didn't quite believe what was happening and then bit his lip and gripped her shoulder gently, giving it a little shake before he turned towards his mother.

"You know Mum, you can be as bloody rude as you like to me, it really doesn't matter, but I'd have expected you to make my girlfriend welcome in the same way you'd make any other guest welcome ….unless of course you'd prefer us to get our coats and leave …"

"I have no idea what you're talking about Charles and you know it is never my intention to be rude to anyone …. of course I don't want you and ….." She paused and looked in Molly's direction so that she found herself smiling again for no reason except she felt uncomfortably in the way. She just knew Caroline was lying through her teeth, for some reason she was hopping bleeding mad and would like nothing better than for her to piss off. But without him.

" _Molly,_ her name is _Molly"_

"Molly … to leave … but you are very late … you knew what time …. and you should have at least had the courtesy to tell me you were thinking of bringing a … bringing someone with you … what am I supposed to say to everyone? I mean, I've never heard you even mention her name before"

"Mum…" This time there was a real note of warning in his voice and his face had become an expressionless mask "Molly is my girlfriendand I have no idea why you would think you need to tell anyone anything about her … about us …" He knew his mother was actually talking about how the hell she was going to tell whoever it was she'd invited to the party for him that events had made her surplus to requirements, but that wasn't his problem, it was hers "And I don't give a …. I'm sorry but I can't see what the fuss is about"

He raised his eyebrows and looked at her steadily as if he was challenging her, was waiting for her to say something to fill the strained silence as they looked at one another. Eventually he turned away and jerked his head at Molly who was beginning to think his mother thought he'd found her hanging about on some street corner. Charles knew Caroline would have dearly loved to launch into one of her 'you owe it to me … you owe it to Sam .. to everyone … and then the …. I only have your best interests at heart …' lectures and that she was longing to interrogate him, but that she'd be far too worried about the other guests hearing something that could prove embarrassing. Something that wouldn't fit the portrait of their family life that she liked to paint.

Molly could see now exactly why he'd thought Nan was a doddle, anyone would be after this woman. Not only was she a rude cow but if looks could kill she wouldn't be the only one stone dead on the floor right now, he would as well, and he was her son for fuck sake, why was she looking at him like he was something she'd scraped off her designer shoe? And what was all that stuff about her being his girlfriend? It had managed to piss Caroline off quite nicely and it wasn't even true. The look on her face was bloody priceless as she tossed her head and then clicked her way back up the hall without saying another word to either of them. But it wouldn't take a genius to work out that she wasn't exactly happy. Her back was rigid with disapproval as Charles took a deep breath and looked as if he was fighting with himself to keep from showing just how bloody annoyed he actually was.

"Sorry about all that …"

"What was it all about? What's going on?"

"Nothing …"

"Nothin' ? …. Yeah, right"

"I'm sorry I should have warned you that she can be a tad _difficult_ at times _"_

"Yeah, you bloody should 'ave"

"I do seem to have managed to dump you right in the middle of my fucking mess … " He shook his head "I really am sorry Molly"

"S'okay, not your fault is it…? What was all that stuff about me being your girlfriend?"

"You wouldn't expect me to start telling lies to my mother would you?" He shrugged and laughed "Come on let's go and get pissed"

"What?"

"I said let's go and find the Champagne and get pissed"

"Nah I didn't mean that … I meant …"

But he shook his head and put his hand in the small of her back to shepherd her in the direction of the drawing room, obviously unwilling to be drawn on the subject of what he'd said to his mother. Her first look at the room left her speechless and conscious of her mouth hanging wide open so that she had to make a huge effort to shut it. She'd never actually been anywhere like it before in her life, but then she'd never actually heard someone call their front room the drawing room before like he had, that was definitely another first.

There was a lot of very well-heeled looking people standing around in small groups with glasses in their hands all talking and laughing loud enough to almost drown out the background music and there was another bloody great big tree all decorated the same as the one in the hall. The room was lit up with what looked like hundreds and hundreds of tiny white lights dotted around the edges of the shelves and in the greenery that was all over together with long red candles. It was probably what people would call magical or magnificent or something and Molly knew that her Mum and Nan would love it, but even though it was undoubtedly very beautifully done she wasn't too sure herself. It wasn't a bit cosy. It looked like a picture in one of the magazines you see in the dentist's waiting room, and she had the feeling they'd had the decorators in.

"It's lovely in 'ere innit?"

It felt tactful to say something nice about it, even though she wasn't sure she meant it.

"Indeed … always is … every year that I can remember anyway"

"You know, I'm not sure your mum liked me very much … I know I'm a bit shit at first impressions, but that was quick even for me"

"Don't be silly, how could she not like you, she doesn't know you"

He felt a renewed surge of anger with Caroline and put his arm round her shoulders and squeezed.

"Trust me … I sort of know these things … think I'm a bit psychic"

"Are you? I didn't know that … does that mean you can read palms? What about tea leaves?"

"Nah … don't be daft, we 'ave tea bags, don't we?"

"Indeed, I remember now you told me" He put his head back and roared with laughter "Look, don't let her upset you ….…. most of the time she doesn't like me very much either"

"Why? What you done?"

Molly giggled again but a tiny bit awkwardly as he shook his head, she wasn't sure what to say when she didn't know whether it was supposed to be a joke. Although from where she'd been standing it looked like it could well have had the ring of truth.

"What about your dad?"

"Nope, she doesn't like him either …" Charles put his head back and laughed again but continued to ignore the question of why his mother was less than pleased with him "I don't think she likes anyone actually"

"I didn't mean it like that, I meant …. Which one is he?"

Molly waved her hand to indicate the room full of women wearing posh frocks and jewellery and men wearing tuxedos, a lot of whom looked to her to be old enough to be his dad, although she couldn't see anyone who looked especially like him. She couldn't help being a bit worried that his dad hadn't exactly broken a sweat rushing to welcome her either, in fact it looked like he was as bad in the welcoming stakes as her dad, which didn't exactly bode well.

"Nope …" Charles had scanned the room quickly and smiled and nodded at one or two of the people who acknowledged him in the same way "Not here .. knowing him he's probably hiding from her somewhere with a couple of business contacts and a large bottle of Scotch … I know it's Christmas and this is supposed to be a party, but they don't have friends … just useful acquaintances"

"Oh …."

"Yup … right … that's enough about my mummy ….. Champagne?" He raised his eyebrows and grinned at her so that he looked a bit more relaxed, as if he was working hard to forget all the shit with his mother.

"Your _mummy_?" Molly giggled, even though it was obviously a joke, it sounded so incongruous coming from someone so grown up and in control "I've never 'ad real Champagne don't think, I've 'ad Prosecco before and it's sort of the same innit?"

"Yup … sort of … try it and see and if you don't like it we'll find you something else … I'm sure I can find some Vodka for you somewhere"

"What mixed with Champagne? You trying to get me pissed?"

"Now there's an idea …" Charles smirked and squeezed her shoulder and then laughed aloud at the expression on her face "No, I meant if you hate it, I'll have yours"

His mum was obviously doing everything she could to avoid being anywhere near them but Molly knew she was talking about her, she could feel her _looking_ as if she was still pissed off with her being there. His dad still hadn't bothered to put in an appearance, not that Charles seemed in the least bit bothered about either of them. People had come over to say hello and tell him it was good to see him and that it had been a while and he'd stuck to her side the whole time like he'd been glued there. He'd introduced her to them all, albeit without the subtitle of _girlfriend_ but mostly it had just been the two of them talking to one another on their own, just like he'd said.

Charles had told her all about his previous years when he'd been away on tour, and had explained all the traditions and then pretended to get arsey when she said she thought it was a bit bonkers, but hadn't once mentioned the times he'd spent Christmas with Sam and she hadn't asked. She didn't want to talk about anything that would remind him of happier times, any more than she wanted any reminders of this time last year. But she'd been happy with Tony, this time last year she'd really thought they were on their way to wedding bells and happy ever afters, but that was before everything had changed. One minute she'd believed it was all going to happen and the next it was all about Donna and Tony, so she'd been dreading Christmas this year. She'd thought she was still going to be in bits and was never going to be happy ever again, but even though his mum was looking at her as if she was something the cat had sicked up, she wouldn't swap places with anyone in the world right now.

They'd agreed that her Christmas had been a bit more shit than his this year because she'd had to work, but that his had come a close second. He'd only been allowed to see Sam for a couple of hours and had then spent the rest of the time pretending it wasn't even Christmas. Molly wasn't sure whether it was the Champagne she'd drunk, but it struck her as being really sad, and even though he shrugged and pretended it didn't worry him, she didn't believe him for a second.

"Come and dance with me" Charles waved the empty Champagne bottle he was swinging about between the tips of his fingers "You need to save me from myself"

"What 'ere?" Molly looked around and raised her eyebrows at him and then laughed "Are you pissed?"

"Nope, of course not … why …. do you think I have to be drunk to want to dance with you?" He started chewing at his bottom lip and then smirked.

"Nah …. just wondering"

"Absolutely not … the very idea" He laughed so that she wasn't sure whether he was telling her the truth or not, but if he was pissed, she quite liked this pissed version of Charles "But it's a good point … come on"

"Where we going?"

He was still laughing as he pulled her firmly behind him out into the hall where the music was barely audible and then let go of her hand long enough to peel off his jacket and fling it on the stairs. He undid his tie and left it hanging loose before turning to look at her and then caught his bottom lip in his teeth and held out his hand again.

"Nah …" Molly giggled and shook her head "Told you … can't dance…."

"Of course you can … it's easy… come on ..just put your hands round here like this …"

He was smiling down into her eyes as he pulled her arms up round his neck so that her heart began to pound and a crowd of butterflies started to flutter their wings in excitement in the pit of her stomach. His eyes darkened and his smile slipped slightly as he began to run the backs of his fingers up and down her arms before he looped them round her waist which made her breath hitch in her throat.

"Just listen to the music"

"There isn't any …"

"Oh no … never mind …"

"You could sing?"

"I'm far too shy"

"Shy? You?"

Molly giggled as he gave this loud snort of laughter and pulled her towards him so they could sway together in exactly the same way as they had the last time they'd danced together, only this time it felt totally different to Molly. Despite the dozens of people all drinking and laughing in the room next door and in spite of knowing any one of them could walk through at any minute looking for a loo or something, it felt as if they were totally alone. It was nothing like dancing with him at a rowdy party in a pub and the longer they stood there swaying together the more conscious she was of her own breathing. All of a sudden she seemed to have an awful lot of breath chugging in and out and it was getting louder and louder and more and more ragged. She very badly wanted to kiss him.

Slowly, very slowly they stopped moving altogether and just stood and held one another with their arms still looped round one another and her fingers weaving in and out of the hair on the back of his neck as she stroked his skin. Neither of them said anything as he angled his head towards her fingers and then closed his eyes and held her tightly against him. She could feel every bit of the way his body was responding to her being so close as they leaned against one another and he struggled to control his breathing.

"Do you want to go back in there?" He leaned away from her slightly and held her at arm's length to look into her face.

"Nah … well, not unless you do"

"Nope … definitely not …. Sorry … are you tired? You must be ….. you were working last night, come on"

He didn't let go of her hand as they broke apart. She wanted to tell him that she wasn't a bit tired but then decided not to say anything as he stooped to pick up his jacket and held it over his shoulder by the loop as they slowly climbed the stairs side by side without speaking.

-OG-

"This is your room innit?" It had Charles written all over it "Thought you said we wasn't gonna share"

"We're not … but I thought you might appreciate having the bathroom"

"Nice in 'ere innit? Very nice and tidy ….'n that" Molly had looked around and then begun to giggle at the expression on his face "Really tidy"

"Are you taking the piss? …. You don't know I might well have tidied up specially because I knew you were coming"

"Yeah, you might … would 'ave been a bit of a waste of bleeding effort for me though wouldn't it?" She laughed and enjoyed the sound of him laughing with her as he leaned back against the chest of drawers "You must love mine"

"Indeed …."

"Liar …." She giggled, then took deep breath and looked at him "Why do I scare you?"

"What are you talking about? You don't"

"You said I did the other night, you said I scared the shit out of you .."

"Did I?" He ran his hand over the back of his neck and tugged at his curls before shaking his head "I really don't think it's a good idea to talk about it right now"

"Why not?"

"Its ….… I like you Molly, I like you a lot … a hell of a lot. well I don't have to tell you that, do I? You know I think you're fucking awesome …"

"Do you? So why can I 'ear a but"

"But … I'm totally the wrong person for you … in every bloody way … " He had a wry smile on his face as he shook his head and moved from leaning against the chest of drawers to stand in front of her and then hesitated for a second before he put his hands on her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. He was suddenly desperate to just kiss her but knew he wasn't going to "And really it would be better to leave this for another day"

"Isn't that a bit up to me?" She paused "Not sure I get it, you said you like me, so what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing … it's me that's the problem not you … and I only wish it was that easy, but it's not … I look at you and all I want … all I want is for you to be happy …. and safe, no more cars in fucking ditches" He tried to laugh and swallowed hard before shaking his head again.

"I like you too"

"What? Yes I know you do … but …. you need someone who's not going to fuck everything up like I will … and I will, that's one thing that's certain ….. you need someone who isn't going to be wondering what the fuck he's doing all the time…"

"I dunno Charles, I dunno whether you're the wrong person, I mean I dunno whether you might be the right one either, all I know is that I like you just the way you are … 'n it don't matter what you say I know you want me 'n all …" She swallowed hard, she hadn't meant to mention that she'd noticed how affected he'd been when they were dancing "I'm here because I wanna be 'ere … don't want someone else"

"I hate the thought of you with anyone that's not me … but I just know it would be for the best"

"Best for who … you or me?"

Charles chewed at his bottom lip but made no attempt to speak as she paused and took a deep breath, aware that her mouth was in danger of running away with her again.

"What about Tony? Last time we talked you didn't seem too sure about how you felt …." He swallowed hard and raked his teeth over his bottom lip before running his tongue over it.

"Nah, not that prick …" Molly shook her head vehemently, it was important that she managed to convince him for some reason "Not Tony, never him … not gonna 'appen …"

Molly was suddenly tempted to tell him all about seeing Tony the day they'd taken Martin to London to see their mum, that he'd just bloody turned up at theirs and all she'd felt was impatient. She'd just wanted him to hurry up and go because she still had lots to do and a train to catch. And even though she'd promised to keep her gob shut, it was what Bella had been hinting at when she'd started talking to him about ginger men.

"Good … glad to hear it, he definitely didn't deserve you"

After he and Rebecca had finally faced the end of the misery of their marriage, he'd been determined he was never going to get involved with anyone else ever again. For years he'd been at his happiest away from home and living out of a Bergen and he'd decided that in future he was going to be unencumbered by anyone. He'd promised himself he was never going to let another woman get close enough to wreck his life, there wasn't going to be anyone to lie to him or to cheat, and most importantly of all he was never going to have to look into anyone's eyes again and see disappointment.

And then Molly had come into his life and begun turning it upside bloody down.

She was nothing like Rebecca, she wasn't tall or blonde hadn't got ice blue eyes that were filled with anger and derision. Molly had amazingly expressive eyes that were often filled with laughter or had this look in them when she looked at him that he couldn't quite read but which was driving him insane. It was making him feel emotions that hard as he tried he couldn't ignore.

She was tiny and she was beautiful with a mass of shiny hair that he wanted to run his hands through and he hadn't been able to wipe his memory of how it had felt to hold her body close and kiss her, and that was in spite of reminding himself of all the reasons why it wasn't a good idea. But night after night he'd dreamt she was there with him and was all over him, dreams that were so vivid that they left him feeling bereft when he woke up and realised that's all they were, just dreams.

Suddenly there was a long silence where they looked at one another, both waiting for the other to make a move or to at least say something. All Molly knew was that if he made even the smallest move towards pushing her away again or leaving her there on her own she'd probably do something to him, would most likely want to kill him.

He didn't say anything, he just inhaled deeply and leaned towards her before he lifted the heavy strands of her hair out of the way and kissed her neck. Soft, gentle kisses that were barely there, a mere brush of his lips on her skin until his mouth eventually found hers and all the doubts about the way he wanting her disappeared in a flood of feeling. He could taste Champagne on her tongue as she began to kiss him back with a matching amount of passion and then put her hands on the back of his neck and twined her fingers in his hair to keep his head where it was. But he had no wish to break away from her. Their kisses began to escalate rapidly as the fear of getting involved that he'd been harbouring drowned in a flood of desire.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Firstly I have to say sorry, I know it has been a long time, or as my own personal support system told me this morning when she took a break from worrying about bush fires to do her motivational bit (ticking me off !) it has been the longest gap I've ever had in updating a story … no real excuses except for spending far too much time on the delete/edit button … re-writing becomes addictive so that in the end I have to force myself to post it even if it is a bit long otherwise I'll still be making changes a week next Friday … I hope you enjoy it, if you can still remember what it was all about, and that you will continue to review for me the way you have up till now … at the risk of being boring you have no idea what they mean to me … so thanks to everyone for their kind words.**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: Thank you for your continued support and for the lovely reviews and comments and I'm sorry that I left them stranded in the bedroom for too long (it was pointed out to me this morning that they were in there with no food and water) but RL got in the way, half term holiday meant my granddaughter staying, they had the builders in, and as you will see it really isn't suitable for a 9 year old to read over her grandmother's shoulder! This is really 2 chapters in one, so I do hope that you enjoy it … Daniel is back in the next one when reality bites**_

She really wanted to believe him when he said she was beautiful, or at least to believe it was how he saw her but knew only too bloody well it wasn't true. She was okay looking, despite what Bella said, she knew she wasn't ugly or anything, but her bum was too big and her hips as well, and her legs were definitely too bloody short and her hair was quite often a bit of a mess with split ends. Trouble was she always cried when she had to have it cut so kept on putting it off so it was her own fault. And she wasn't a bit sexy. Bloody Tony had said she was sturdy, which was just another word for fat, and he'd told her about a million times even if he always said after that he didn't mean it and that she couldn't take a joke when she went a bit quiet on him. But it wasn't a joke, or if it was it wasn't bleeding funny because he used to say stuff all the time about other girls' bodies when they were out together so she knew what he thought was beautiful. And she wasn't stupid.

She envied people who were happy with how they looked, she'd always thought it must be lovely, that it must make your life so bloody easy when you know you're good looking like Donna. And Charles. He might be a bit hard to fathom at times and he was a bit uncomfortable with feelings but he was good looking enough to make Tony look bloody ordinary. He was sexy as well and best of it was, he didn't even have to try. There was just something about him.

His thumbs lightly brushed over her nipples as he ran his hands up and down her sides as Molly tried to tug her dress away from where it was clinging to her tits. She had nipples like navvies knuckles as Nan would say.

"Christ, Molly what are you doing to me?"

He was chuckling softly when he saw what she was trying to do and shook his head slowly from side to side before he cupped her face and stroked the stray hairs behind her ears.

"Molly …. wait out a sec …." He closed his eyes for a moment before he snapped them open again "I can't believe I'm saying this right now, not right now, but .. " He gulped and then slowly shook his head "Are you sure about this? If you want to change your mind …. If I need to stop, tell me now…. " He gathered her hair into a bunch and then twined it over his fist to hold it as he pulled her towards him "I just want to make you happy"

"You do …. 'n I am 'appy … thought you knew that"

"I have to be sure …"

She rested her fingers on his collarbones and slid them slowly down the sides of his chest touching each rib as if she was counting them, and then traced the muscles of his chest through his shirt. She badly wanted to get the tiny buttons of his shirt undone but she was fumbling with them in her haste to at least get his shirt undone enough to put her hands in and touch his skin, or better still get the bloody thing off completely. She moved her hands and put them on his face to run them over his soft stubble like she had once before and watched the way his face reacted as he closed his eyes and a muscle started twitching in his jaw.

For as long as he could remember Charles had prided himself on his ability to keep any feelings he couldn't totally suppress tucked away behind an inscrutable mask. Over the years he'd perfected the art of never allowing others to see him as vulnerable. Even Rebecca who knew him better than anyone else, including Elvis, had told him angrily that it was what made him bloody impossible to live with, that he was a cold fish who was scared of emotional issues, and that was what made him difficult to love. He known at the time that she probably had a point but it wasn't as if he was suddenly any different, the only thing that had changed was the degree of deep disappointment and dissatisfaction that she'd felt with him and their lives together.

It was only recently that doubts had started to creep in. First Daniel. And then Molly. And in the space of a few short weeks his life had been turned upside down in ways he wasn't sure he was happy about, suddenly he seemed to be questioning everything he'd believed in. Rock solid certainties had become _fragile_ somehow. His love of solitude and need for distance were slowly beginning to feel more like he was alone, even more than that, he was beginning to feel lonely.

Touching the skin of her arms was enough to send electric shivers of need through him which were threatening his control. He wanted to stroke and kiss every inch of her, to close his eyes and feel her body under his and to feel it wrapped round him, to look into her eyes as he made love to her and to hear her call his name. He wanted badly to hold her the way he had when they were dancing and to feel her pressed against him without the barrier of clothes. He was so hard it was almost painful.

-OG-

She was doing her best to do a clean sweep of her brain because every look from his eyes seemed to be looking straight into her thoughts and she was finding herself tempted to tell him things that she knew she shouldn't. There were no promises. He hadn't said anything about what was going to happen after he took her home, she didn't know if she was ever going to see him again after tonight for fuck sake, didn't even know if that was what he wanted. Most of all she knew that a lot of this, whatever this was, had been her idea and that whatever happened they were still going to be the same people. He'd still have all these shitty things going on that he couldn't face talking about, he'd still be a soldier that hated the army and she'd still be her. She'd still have to work every shift she could get to pay the fucking bills, she'd still need to keep a roof over their heads, her and Martin and Bella, so she'd still have all these responsibilities. She wasn't sure she had room in her life for anything else, wasn't even sure that was what she wanted, not after Tony. But the expression on his face as he stretched out next to her was enough to tell her it wasn't just her that felt it, that if this was just sex, the look on his face was all she needed to know right now. He was as caught up in her as she was in him.

"I can't believe how fucking beautiful you are"

He was dragging his bottom lip into his mouth with his teeth as he propped himself up on one elbow to look at her in the bra and pants that were pretending to be satin and weren't. His pupils were enormous in eyes that had darkened to the colour of bitter chocolate.

"You're not too shabby yourself"

He shook his head in denial and then gave a wicked chuckle before he bent his head and kissed down the strap of her bra, hot peppery little kisses that ended when he fastened his lips on one taut nipple, and began teasing her with his teeth through the black shiny fabric. His gaze locked onto hers as he raked his teeth over her and nibbled gently and then swapped from one to other until both nipples were achingly rigid and great shock waves of desire were crashing their way through her. She arched her back, instinctively trying to tell him to not even think about stopping but was trying to shift herself close enough to squirm against him at the same time. The feeling of his mouth through the wet fabric of her bra was driving her insane.

His muscles quivered under her fingertips as she ran her hands over his warm skin and an involuntary shiver ran through him as she let them drift down to the dusting of dark hair that was leading down below the waistband of his trousers. He closed his eyes and sucked in his stomach muscles and did his best to try to help her get the button undone but when she deliberately let her fingers drift over his erection he pushed her hands away to pull them off himself.

There wasn't an ounce of fat on him anywhere which made Molly suck in her stomach muscles but then couldn't keep it up and made a renewed vow to join a gym or something, but all that got lost in watching his face and listening to his ragged breathing when she drifted her fingertips lightly along the waistband of his boxers. She was loving that he closed his eyes and that his even white teeth began to bite at the fleshy part of his bottom lip. The fine black cotton boxers were clinging to every bit of the sculptured muscles of his bum and his slim hips and thighs, but most of all they were showing off his erection which was seriously bending them out of shape at the front. It was every bit as impressive as she'd imagined it was going to be when she'd felt it through his clothes.

He had a puckered and livid scar running across his stomach and Molly badly wanted to ask him about it, but didn't. She knew just by looking that it was likely something serious had happened but he hadn't said a word about being hurt or anything and stomach wounds were notoriously dodgy. Recovery wasn't always a walk in the bleeding park either, and anything that meant someone ended up with a scar like that was going to be fucking painful for the poor bugger who'd got hurt or had the sort of surgery that put them in one of their beds. But he also had some god-awful scars on his legs that he hadn't said about, so Molly didn't say anything either. She knew from experience that if he hadn't mentioned them, he probably didn't want to talk about them, male stiff upper lip and all that crap. The sort of pride that made some of them deny they were in any pain until it was bleeding agony and needed twice as much pain killer to knock it on the head.

There was a trail of socks and crumpled clothes all over his once pristine bedroom so it was a bit like a home from home for Molly whose wardrobe was quite often the floor. But up until then it'd slipped her mind about them being in his mother's posh house in a bedroom that had no pissing lock on the door. _Caroline_ could walk in the door any minute.

"Charles?"

"Yep?"

"Your mum?"

"What about her?"

"Ummmm …. she's not gonna come in 'ere is she?"

"Shouldn't think so … " He snorted with laughter "What on earth makes you think my mother is going to come into my bedroom … not unless we invite her of course"

"Not funny … it's just …. there's no lock is there?"

"Nope … but she is not going to come in here Molly… honestly, she never does … she doesn't like me remember?" He snorted "Would you like me to put a chair under the handle or something?"

"Not funny …. 'n yeah I would … or is she used to you 'aving girls in 'ere? Is that it?"

"No, of course not"

"Stop bleeding laughing at me"

"I'm not … I'm laughing at the thought of me having a stream of girls who'd put up with me and at the idea of my mother giving a shit about anything I do …. forget her … I have"

Molly wished now that she hadn't said anything. It was obvious that his family was very different to hers, none of her lot would think twice about barging in whether there was someone in there with one of them or not. They probably wouldn't even knock, you'd be lucky if they even coughed.

He smoothed back the curtain of hair that had fallen over her anxious little face, he wanted to be able to see her eyes as he hooked his fingers in the sides of her pants and pulled them down her legs. But he stopped and inhaled sharply when she slipped her hand inside his boxers and curled it round him. His eyes snapped shut and his breathing rapidly became harsh as she touched him, and then moved her hand to fondle and stroke as he groaned and the tighter she held him and the more she moved her fingers the louder he groaned until eventually she stopped torturing him and moved her hands to slide his boxers down his thighs. She moved them very slowly and carefully to make sure she didn't catch him as he ran his hands possessively over every inch of her and then dipped one hand between her thighs. His kisses were getting more and more full of longing as she squirmed against his hand and concentrated on the sensations he was creating with his touch, until suddenly he stopped and rolled off her. And sat on the edge of the bed.

"Condom .. "

What he actually meant was that he'd had this bloody awful jolt of reality that he needed to check he even had one so began to root around in the drawer of the bedside table. He was now looking for something he wasn't even sure was there. He'd got no idea why the thought had only just occurred to him, but couldn't even say with any certainty whether he'd even seen the familiar foil wrappers recently, but then he hadn't actually been looking for them. Putting his hand on one bought a flood of relief although he still had a tiny niggling memory of being told or reading somewhere that condoms have an expiry date. He could only hope and pray that it wasn't actually true because he'd got no idea how long it had been sitting there, he certainly couldn't remember when he'd last had a need for one, not in this bed anyway. He knew he had no excuse, that it was piss poor planning on his part and that he should have thought about it all a bit better, but then he hadn't had any real expectation of anything like this. Or so he told himself.

Molly had propped herself up on one elbow to watch him in the soft light of the table lamp, and as he turned to look at her the soft glow was emphasising the creamy smoothness of her naked body but most of all he could see her eyes watching him as she locked her gaze with his and didn't look away. They stared at one another in silence and without even smiling for what felt like a lifetime and Charles was flooded with inexplicable feelings of possessiveness, something he couldn't begin to explain because feeling like that was a completely new experience for him.

She moved across the bed and slid her arms round him from behind before resting her head against the middle of his back.

"Nice bum"

"Nice everything" He turned around with a smile on his face then leaned forward to kiss her.

"You comin' back to bed?"

"Molly … give me a second … I need to tell you something …"

He couldn't just ignore the issue of the condom. He really wished he could, but despite the look of horror on her face as her imagination went into overdrive, and in spite of how much he wanted her, it wouldn't be fair for him to risk it. Even though every fibre of him wanted to do exactly that. He held up the offending packet "I have no bloody idea how old this thing is …

"Oh …." Molly gulped, she'd recently had a discussion with Bella about how long condoms last so knew exactly what he was talking about even though she was flooded with relief. She'd had no idea what he was going to say but had been horribly afraid he was going to tell her he'd changed his mind, which wasn't exactly unheard of for him, and was about to put the kibosh on it "It'll be okay …I mean …. we can use it but it's not like it's vital …"

She tried to shrug nonchalantly but didn't want to start talking about her periods and timing and whether they were like clockwork, which they were, and whether there was any danger of her getting pregnant, which there wasn't and she didn't want to talk about whether she was on the pill because she wasn't and couldn't lie and say she was. So even if the condom was a bit dodgy it would be okay and they could use it anyway, the thought of just _giving it up_ as a bad ideamade her want to cry.

There was no more talking at all as he turned and crawled over to her and then his mouth was sweeping over hers and he was kissing her like there weren't any more questions, and no more worries, so that they were totally focussed in the here and now as their mouths and bodies collided.

-OG-

Molly knew first times were never like this, they were supposed to awkward and fumbling and all about getting used to someone and what they liked and she wasn't supposed to feel a bit like this. Not like every touch of his skin against hers was a song that was playing inside her, not like it was a strange mix of newness and coming home, and not as though it was her place, the place she was meant to be.

He had every intention of using the bloody thing but was holding the wrapper between his teeth until he dropped it somewhere in the bed when he got a bit side-tracked and began to pepper all over her skin with hot little kisses instead. He had meant to be ready, had intended to, but wasn't and it suddenly seemed far more important to concentrate on her, to feel how she was moving under him and to answer the invitation she was extending by the way she was straining towards him made him forget just about everything else. The incredible sensation of skin on skin as he moved harder and faster and she gasped and fisted his hair and then began to grind against him meant he was gritting his teeth in the effort not to succumb to the pleasure that was building in every bit of him. As she held her breath and clung to him with every one of her muscles tensed the pleasure that had been coiling inside her shattered as tremors ran through every bit of her. He knew he should stop and find the bloody condom but it would have taken far more strength than he currently had where she was concerned to just stop, so obeyed every instinct he had and buried himself as deeply as could instead as the pleasure built to a crescendo in him and exploded. He buried his head in her neck, suddenly scared he might say something he'd regret as he tried to get his breath back and waited for his heart to stop hammering.

His bones seemed to have completely turned to water and his balls ached in a pleasurably empty sensation and he was filled with the overwhelming feeling of intense happiness as he lay on the soft cushion of her body. But even though breaking the spell was hard, he was suddenly concerned about her being so tiny in comparison to him, that he was heavy for fuck sake so was probably squashing her. It was bloody selfish to say the least so he forced himself to lift himself up and rest on his forearms instead.

"Sorry …."

"What for? You're not gonna say you're sorry 'bout us are you? Cos if you are I don't …."

"No of course not" He put a finger on her lips to stop her speaking "How could I possibly be sorry …. No, I was saying sorry if I'm squashing you"

"That's alright, you can squash me any time you like"

"That's good to know" He bent his head and kissed her then laughed still supporting his weight on his arms "And I'm sorry I forgot the bloody condom … I take it you're on the pill"

"Ummm ….. I never said that … but since you're asking … even if it is a bit late …. nah I'm not"

"Oh … not sure what to say …"

Molly giggled at the expression on his face "You should see your face … you scared me dad'll come after you with 'is shotgun? Don't be, it's not gonna 'appen .. the timing for anything like that would be shit" She laughed as he re-arranged the expression on his face "Anyway it'd be me Nan, me dad probably wouldn't even notice and if he did he'd just ask for a donation to his beer fund"

"Oh well, that's alright then …. if its Nan I mean"

"Yeah .. knowing her she'd probably congratulate you and buy you a bleeding cigar … she's always telling me to hurry up and have some little bleeders … she wants to be a great grandma"

"Lovely …. Is that true?"

"Nah …. But she is a soft touch for a pretty face … anyway told you it's not gonna happen … not unless you really are Clarke Kent and you've had your kryptonite"

"Did I forget to tell you?"

"You better be joking" She giggled and pulled a face "And you can tell your mother"

"Lovely … can't wait"

Charles rolled off her and settled her into the crook of his arm before he lifted and twirled a lock of her hair into a ringlet.

"What happened?"

She drifted her hand over the puckered line of the scar on his stomach and he grabbed her fingers and put them up to his mouth to kiss them. The scar was still sensitive, or at least it was something he was still sensitive about, much more than he was about the heavy scarring on his legs.

"Afghanistan, souvenir of the Taliban … I got in the way of one of their fucking bullets"

"Shit … what … and these 'n all?"

Her tiny hands drifted down over his legs and made him shiver, but he chose not to tell her what had happened in Belize so just nodded.

"Afghanistan is a shit hole" He was obviously thinking hard and looked as though he was looking back down a tunnel of memories that were a long way distant "It was cramped and dirty and noisy and boring and those were the good days, it was also scary as fuck and for weeks after we got back I would just stand outside and breathe … because the air wasn't full of dust … sand "

"You seriously needed a bit more practice ducking"

"Is that ducking with a D?"

"Yeah … why?"

"Just making sure I'd heard you correctly"

"Don't think you need any practice at that"

"Glad you think so … but I will practice _ducking"_

Molly was filled with a mixture of wanting to laugh at the way he'd been messing and sheer horror, she badly wanted to yell at him to not even think about doing anything so fucking dangerous ever again, not to go anywhere where he could get hurt like that in future. But she had some vague memory of him saying about his wife, about her wanting him to stop being a soldier and just for a minute she wanted to say that the bloody woman had a point, that she could see just how much danger he'd been in of not getting away with it. The thought of it ever happening again made her want to beg him not to do it again, but she couldn't, it wasn't up to her.

"Charles?"

"Molly?"

"Where's me stuff … I need to clean me teeth"

"Fuck … it's still in the car …. I'll go and get it"

"You going like that? Better put some clothes on first"

"Why?"

"You'll give someone a Julius going out like that this time of night … or you'll get arrested"

"Use my toothbrush?"

"I might get germs … anyway need something to sleep in"

"Would have thought it was a bit late to start worrying whether I've got any germs … and what do you want clothes for anyway?"

"It's bleeding winter … gets taters at night … its a bit chilly in 'ere now, I need something warm to sleep in …"

"No need … I'll keep you warm …."

"Does that mean I can put me cold feet on you, then?"

"No …"

"But you just said …"

"I lied"

Charles was laughing as he pulled the duvet up and tucked it over them. Even though they'd been joking she did have a point, it was definitely beginning to feel decidedly chilly now that their mingled sweat had dried on their bodies. He pulled her close into his side and settled her head comfortably on his chest, as she moved her arm and put it over him.


	15. Chapter 15

"Good break?"

"Indeed ….… you?"

"Probably best not to ask …"

Daniel chuckled and leaned back in his chair, then took his glasses off and concentrated on polishing each lens before he held them up to the light and squinted through each one, apparently checking how clean they were before he put them back on. It was something he did repeatedly, an elaborate ritual that Charles had seen him perform a thousand times before, and one which was beginning to make him want to scream. He'd pigeonholed it as just another one of the tactics that Daniel employed when he wanted to avoid looking directly at someone. One of the many. Although this time it seemed as if he was doing it out of pure habit, or even simply because his glasses needed cleaning as he went on to share details of his Christmas. Charles had alarm bells going off everywhere in his head. Daniel had never before even mentioned a life outside the consulting room so Charles was immediately wary, he'd long ago realised that Daniel rarely, if ever, did anything without some sort of ulterior motive.

"Our Jessie, she's the eldest … she's suddenly got _attitude …_ " Daniel laughed and made inverted comma signs in the air with his fingers "Especially to her mum … and the twins were down with chicken pox ….poor little buggers"

Charles hadn't even known that Daniel had three children, let alone that he had twins. He supposed he'd assumed there were children, but he couldn't say he'd ever given it any thought, the subject had simply never come up.

The words "What the fuck are you telling me for?" were on the tip of his tongue but he could almost hear Molly giggling and saying it sounded a bit shit before she'd be telling him to be nice so he had to concentrate very hard on not letting the words escape. But he found he couldn't just ignore the expectant expression on Daniel's face, his deeply ingrained good manners were demanding that he had to say something.

"Lovely …. how old are they?"

"The boys are just on four and Jess is nine …. going on twenty nine"

Charles duly obliged with a slightly forced grin as Daniel looked steadily at him with his eyebrows raised as if he was expecting him to be amused and then gritted his teeth as Daniel wiped his glasses once more and then shrugged his shoulders. He had a broad smirk on his face that seemed to Charles to have the distinct aura of someone who was feeling very pleased with themselves.

"Sal's pregnant so poor love spent most of Christmas feeling sick and the twins were a bloody nightmare, poor little sods covered in spots and mardy as hell … Chicken pox is fucking _itchy_ so there we were sticking them in the bath every five minutes and …. Well, our Jess is just hideously ashamed and embarrassed at the whole thing" He paused and shook his head before he laughed out loud again "Apparently we've already got enough children and sex at our age is just plain disgusting, we're far too old"

He snorted and took his glasses off to clean them yet again, something that was now seriously beginning to get on Charles' nerves. He found himself unconsciously counting the number of times he did it.

"If you ask me school has got a lot to answer for, bloody sex education … and ma-in-law isn't much better, she thinks I should have tied a knot in it"

He leaned back in his chair and roared with happy laughter, appearing completely unfazed by any of it including his mother-in-law, and once again Charles began to wonder about his motives. He hadn't yet got the first idea of why the fuck they were sitting there discussing Daniel's home life, or in fact his sex life, or why he was suddenly intent on showing a side of himself that Charles hadn't come across before.

"It obviously hasn't occurred to the old bat that it was Sal's idea to have another one and that I just went along with it … only don't whatever you do tell Sally I told you that"

"Wouldn't dream of it …." Charles forced a polite laugh "Congratulations by the way"

Once again he'd felt as if he had to say something. Daniel had the same sort of expectant grin on his face, even though they were both 100% aware of just how unlikely it was that he would ever come into any sort of contact with Daniel's wife. That they were both just politely going through the motions of pretending a relationship where none actually existed, and Charles sensed a certain smugness in the way Daniel talked about his life away from the job and suddenly felt a degree of envy that he couldn't entirely ignore or explain, even to himself. Daniel had the sort of life that Charles had never really aspired to, but which he suddenly resented.

"Right well, thanks … Okay …. that's enough about my fun and games …."

Daniel sat forward and rested his forearms on the desk before he pushed his glasses back up where they'd slipped down his nose and Charles felt a now familiar surge of irritation. The man was a mass of mannerisms and appeared to be constantly using his glasses almost as a stage prop. He was constantly fiddling with them except when, like now, he picked up his pen and began to twirl it through this fingers.

"Now … how about you? Did you have a good Christmas? See much of your boy? Always a difficult time when parents are not together"

Charles nodded without comment. He was suddenly deeply suspicious that Daniel was about to start asking about his divorce again which would certainly explain all the happy families crap, but he'd already told him on a previous occasion that he wasn't prepared to discuss Sam and nothing about that had changed. Sam, Rebecca and the divorce were still absolutely none of his fucking business.

"Good …. good … glad to hear it .. and did you manage to see anything of your little nurse? … What's her name now …. Meghan?"

Daniel knew only too well that her name was Molly not Meghan. Not only had he got an excellent memory for names but he had, as usual, refreshed his memory on the details before Charles had arrived. But that didn't stop him lifting his eyebrows in a quizzical manner and pretending he wasn't sure and then plastering a faintly bewildered expression on his face in an attempt to engage Charles in conversation. It was by no means the first time he'd brought the girl into it and it had always had a degree of success as a way of getting him to lower his guard, or at least to open up slightly and talk. Trying to get Captain James to talk to him had too often resembled pulling teeth.

"Her name is not Meghan, it's Molly and please don't call her my little anything … I believe I've told you before Daniel, she's not _mine_ and she's not _little_ …. not in the way you mean anyway"

He shook his head impatiently as Daniel raised one hand in an apologetic acknowledgment of the rebuttal, and Charles leaned forward and looked down between his knees. He was trying his best to swallow a smile at the memory of the way she'd blushed bright pink when he'd told her he loved how tiny she was, and that it didn't matter one bit because she fitted every bit of him perfectly.

"Indeed … yup … actually I did see her a couple of times … party season …you know …. we went to a couple together … so … "

He dried up. He had no clue what the fuck had made him say any of that when it would have been easier to deny even seeing her. His private life was just that, private, and he had no intention whatsoever of sharing any of it with Daniel, it was none of his fucking business.

"Great …. that's really good to hear …. I'm glad it's all going well with the two of you"

"What are you talking about? What do you mean the two of us? There is no _two of us ….._ well, not the way you mean … Molly is …. a friend, not even that really … it's all very casual"

That was a fucking great big fat lie if ever he'd told one. Not that he knew exactly what he and Molly were to each other, where they were going, he didn't even know if they were actually going anywhere, or at least he wasn't sure, but the one thing they were not was casual friends. He was just very glad she hadn't heard what he'd said, she'd have been hurt or actually she'd have been rightly bloody angry. She'd probably have punched him.

"I see …. now before the Christmas break we talked at some length about our lack of progress in finding a way to help you deal with what happened in Kabul … so …. Can I ask, did you manage to find any time to think about it? We really need to look at it and talk about developing a strategy….…?"

Charles leaned forward and ran a hand over the back of his neck. Every bit of him was fighting hard to keep the façade of indifference intact at the sudden change of direction, there was no way he was going to let his irritation show. But he actually had very little idea what the fuck the man was talking about, what sort of strategy was he supposed to devise to help him cope with the loss of his best friend? Elvis' death stung and probably always would. He'd loved him and he missed him and accepting there were things they used to do that they were never going to do again and conversations they were never going to have, was exceptionally hard. And he still couldn't see that spilling his guts to this man was going to make it any easier to let Elvis go. He knew the theory. Elvis was dead and it was time to accept it and put it behind him, he even knew the words, he'd rehearsed them in his head but knowing them and actually believing them were very different things.

-OG-

Chapter 15

She wasn't cold, it was actually lovely and warm tucked up cosily under the duvet with his arm round her and her head cushioned on his chest and she'd actually begun to find it hard to keep her bloody eyes open as sleep threatened to overwhelm her. Listening to the steady thud, thud of his heart wasn't exactly helping much either, she'd found herself counting the beats out of pure habit. It was just that giving in and going to sleep was a non-starter when she still had to drag herself out of the bed to see to her teeth and have a bit of a wash and it was now bleeding chilly in the room which made the whole idea even harder. It felt like it was quite late so that maybe the heating had gone off or something, either that or bedrooms in big old posh houses were just bloody freezing. But she couldn't put it off forever because apart from her teeth, she really needed to pee and that was getting a bit pressing.

He'd got out of bed while she was seeing to her teeth and had put his boxers back on and had then picked up all the rest of the stuff that was strewn around on the floor. It was now all folded neatly on a chair which served to underline what she believed about him being a neat freak and he'd found her an old 'T' shirt, an army one that had been washed so often it was thin and soft and a bit like tissue paper.

"Here … will this do?"

It absolutely swamped her in a way that made her look even tinier as she tugged it over her head and then shook out her hair where it had got caught up.

"Ta ….. how do I look?" She giggled and looked down at herself then pulled it away from her body slightly to look at it again before looking over at him "Do I look like a proper soldier to you?"

"Nope …." He shook his head slowly from side to side with a huge smirk on his face "Not one little bit"

"Why not?" Molly tried her best to sound offended.

"You're far too beautiful for a start … and too sexy" Charles laughed "And actually it's just as well you're not, because I'm not sure I'd be able to keep my hands off you"

"Really?"

"You'd better believe it" He grinned "Do you want me to find you some socks as well?"

"Bed socks? That's sexy … me Nan wears 'em, pink fluffy ones … … are your ones special army ones?"

"Indeed …. It's always the Officers' responsibility to make sure the soldiers don't get cold feet …." He laughed and put his hands on her shoulders to give her a little shake and then threw his head back and roared with laughter "I was not bloody talking about fluffy bed socks as you know only too well, I was offering to find you a pair of mine … I thought you didn't like your feet being cold"

"Don't …. but I thought you could warm 'em up for me…."

"Molly …." He rolled his eyes and then shouted with laughter at the smile on her face when she batted her eyelashes at him in a show of fake innocence "I could …. But I'm not bloody going to … "

"'n there was me thinking I'd won you over with me incredible charm and magnetism … and where are me knickers?"

"Oh you have … believe me you have … but not enough to let you put your cold feet on me …. and you don't need knickers, I'd only have to take them off again … come on just crack on and get into bed…I can see how cold you are from here"

Charles had got back into bed and was now sitting with his arms folded behind his head with a hug smirk on his face as he watched her and leaned against the headboard with the duvet over his lower half. He stared pointedly at the way her nipples were pebbled and clearly visible through the thin fabric of the 't' shirt.

"I can't 'elp it, it's cold in 'ere … didn't 'ear you moanin' earlier" Molly folded her arms over her chest and giggled.

"Who said I was moaning? …. Now stop pissing about and come back to bed …"

"What about me socks?"

"Fuck the socks" He lifted the duvet and nodded his head to indicate the bed next to him "Just hurry up and I'll warm you up…. And stop bloody arguing with me ….come back to bed"

"Bossy"

"You do know you're fucking killing me don't you?"

"Am I?"

"Oh yeah …. "

"Oi … they're not me feet …."

"Aren't they?…."

-OG-

He was warm and comfortably drowsy but for some reason sleep was proving incredibly elusive. He had dropped off almost the instant his head had hit the pillow, but had been awake again almost immediately even though he was pretty sure that the night wouldn't bring a re-run of Elvis flying off that building in Kabul. The thought of having a nightmare with her there had been worrying him, but somehow he was sure it wasn't going to happen, why he was so sure he couldn't have said. He was just as sure he wouldn't have one of the dreams that starred Molly. He could hear her soft breathing as she curled up fast asleep next to him still with his old shirt twisted up under her armpits even though he'd tried in vain to straighten it without waking her. All he'd achieved was to make her shuffle closer so that the cheeks of her bum were now pressed against the side of his thigh, something that wasn't helping him one little bit. The reality of actually being with her had made the dreams fade into insignificance, but sleep still seemed a million miles away.

He'd found the condom still in its wrapper in the middle of the bed and had looked at it with a degree of ruefulness, until tonight he'd completely forgotten what it was like to have the sort of glorious skin on skin sex that he'd shared with her. He knew he should probably be concerned about having unprotected sex for all sorts of reasons, but admitted to himself that he wasn't. Rightly or wrongly he simply didn't believe that she posed a risk of any sort, any more than he did.

The last time he'd felt the way he had tonight had been years before when Rebecca had suddenly decided that getting pregnant was what she wanted when he was a couple of weeks shy of leaving on his first deployment. She'd tearfully maintained that she was desperate to have a child because she feared he wouldn't come back, and then, being Rebecca, had set about it with every bit of the single-minded determination she possessed. He could still remember how easily persuaded he'd been and how he'd loved every minute of it, he'd been bloody over the moon about the whole thing although he couldn't have sworn that he'd actually wanted a child with the same fervour as she had. But he'd certainly been equally enthusiastic about getting her pregnant. Morning, noon and night, and even now looking back on it, all he could remember was that it had been an unbelievable few weeks which had ended with his deployment and her walking about with a Madonna-like smile on her face and her hand permanently on her flat stomach.

But by the time he got home everything had changed. She simply detested everything about being pregnant, had kept saying how much she hated being fat and feeling sick and being tired and needing to pee all the time and had screamed at him that he was lying when he said he thought she was beautiful. But he was telling the truth. Even if her gym toned body was no longer whip thin and her boobs were a lot heavier than they had been he thought she looked incredible and far sexier than he could ever remember. He'd had a hard job keeping his hands off her. And she had rejected every single attempt he'd made to get close, had accused him of constantly making unreasonable demands on her so that he'd felt like some dirty old sleazebag until eventually he'd stopped approaching her. Or at least had decided to wait out until after the baby was born to try and re-build what they'd once had.

Sam's birth had been a highlight of his life, he'd fallen completely in love with this tiny red-faced squalling little bit of himself and to be fair the same seemed true of Rebecca, but it didn't change a thing between them. Their marriage had limped on for a lot longer than it should have, mainly because he was away a lot of the time, but their sex life had continued to be just about non-existent. Rebecca had adopted the _'if I really must'_ attitude to sex which he found singularly off-putting and she'd insisted on a belt and braces approach to contraception. She made absolutely no secret of the fact that there was never going to be a repeat, so in the end Charles accepted that, like him, Sam was destined to be an only child. Something he'd always sworn wasn't going to happen.

Everything had changed with one particularly vicious row shortly after Elvis had died when she'd finally turned on him and admitted she'd only ever had a baby in the first place to strengthen her campaign to get him out of the army, but that as usual he'd let her down. There had been an implacable expression on her face when she'd told him that she didn't love him the way things were and that the only way they were ever going to be together again or to even discuss having another child was when he'd left the army.

There had been other girls since and he'd had sex with some of them, but he hadn't had what could ever be called a relationship with anyone. He hadn't slept with anyone in this house since Rebecca, and he definitely hadn't had unprotected sex with anyone anywhere, he'd always made absolutely sure there was not the slightest risk of another child. He'd had no intentions of ever getting himself involved in something that had the potential to be that painful ever again, and had no idea what had made things seem so different tonight. He just knew he hadn't felt anything like it for as long as he could remember.

-OG-

One night, that was all it was supposed to be, it was all that she'd bargained for, all she'd planned on, that's if she'd even planned at all, nothing else, and if it wasn't supposed to be quite one of Bella's fuck and duck, she really hadn't planned on it being much more. But as he slept and she watched his face she wanted to cup his jaw in her hand and brush his chin with her thumb and then run her fingers over his stubble and along his cheekbone to touch the shell of his ear and to maybe touch those curls which were all tousled. She wanted to know exactly what he smelled like in the curve of his neck when he first woke up.

But there was no way on earth she was going to put herself through any of it ever again, the pain when it had all gone to shit had been too much, it wasn't worth it. Not with anyone.

-OG-

"Morning …" The smile on his face was sleepy as he let her move out from under his arm and roll onto her back. His voice was gruff with a deep husky first thing in the morning timbre to it "Been awake long?"

"Nah … not long" She smiled back. When she'd first woken she'd been very aware of the hot male body spooned against her back and how he'd pulled her closer when she'd tried to move onto her back and stretch, apparently still asleep "What time is it?"

"Early" He leaned across and picked up his watch from the bedside table "Just gone seven"

"You gonna get me stuff for me? I really need a shower, I stink"

"No you don't, you smell bloody amazing …"

"I smell of you, you mean"

"Well, yep, there is that … give me a minute and I'll go and get your things"

"Can I have a shower then?"

"Of course"

His skin was soft as she pressed her fingertips against it and he rolled her underneath him then looked down and captured his bottom lip between his teeth. He bent to kiss her good morning and she hooked one hand behind his neck to hold him down and felt him move his thigh until his leg was between hers and then hooked one leg over his hip. She wanted to bite his nipple and trace her tongue over the line of hair that ran down to his groin, she'd already done it once but that didn't stop her wanting to do it all over again.

Molly wondered whether all rich people had showers like his with tons of hot water and great pressure and then stopped thinking about anything at all except for the feel of his fingers as they gently massaged shampoo onto her scalp. The hot water had been pouring over her head before she'd remembered that she hadn't been going to wash her hair, but the feel of his fingers moving in small circles on her head was making her shiver so she turned to let him slide his hands all over her body and then hooked one leg up over his hip. As soon as she started moving and pressing their bodies together he began to groan and then slid his hand down between her legs.

-OG-

"I should get going …"

Molly was dressed in her own clothes and had tied her towel-dried hair back in an unruly curly knot at the back of her head. For some reason she'd heard herself turn down his offer of a loan of his mother's hair dryer.

"Come on, at least let's get you a cup of tea … and you must be hungry for some breakfast …."

"Nah … I'm not, really I'm not …"

Molly had no desire to sit and eat breakfast with his mother, or the father she hadn't even clapped eyes on, even though her stomach was growling. In fact the thought of it made her feel vaguely sick.

"That's a shame … and after I got some coco-pops specially…"

"Did you? How did you know?"

"What? That they're your favourites? Didn't take a genius did it? …. Why else would you have asked me who'd pissed in mine"

"Oh yeah … did didn't I?" She started chewing at her bottom lip "Can't believe you remembered that"

"I remember everything about it"

-OG-

 _A_ _ **/N: Thank you for the lovely comments and reviews for the last chapter, I really mean it when I say your feedback is what keeps me going**_


	16. Chapter 16

"So tell me something Charles, is there any point in me asking you again whether you've given it some thought and are ready to talk to me about what happened in Kabul"

"What do you want me to say?"

Charles rested his forearms on his knees and looked at the floor, it had all seemed so bloody straightforward earlier, before the session had started going to shit.

The one thing he absolutely detested was not having a clear sight of where Daniel was heading, and alarm bells had started going off almost immediately. He'd had no idea where Daniel was going with it and had found himself searching in vain for the hidden agenda he was sure was lurking there somewhere, always supposing it wasn't some elaborate lie that Daniel was spinning him. Something he wouldn't put past him. And now he was trying to remember exactly what it was he'd decided to say that would get this clusterfuck over and done with once and for all. He wanted to make absolutely sure that Daniel heard exactly what he wanted to hear.

There were times when he suspected that Daniel was more interested in his relationship with Molly than he was in anything else, and even when he'd barely known her Daniel had always seemed to find some way of bringing her into the conversation. Today had been no exception but he'd managed to choke off that discussion so now all that was left was to convince Daniel that he was ready to talk about what had happened in Afghanistan, to tell him that he no longer felt to blame for Elvis. For Kabul. That he saw it was time to mourn and move on.

But actually getting his heart to accept that it wasn't his fault was still a step too far, that little voice in his head was still warning him that he'd be wise to remember just how easily things could go to shit. As were memories that lingered of the two of them drinking themselves stupid, and of the times they'd ended up with green faces and eyes like piss holes in the snow swearing 'never, ever again' and worst of all, just how true that turned out to be for Elvis.

But he was almost certainly going to need Daniel's help to persuade Beck it was time for him to go back to normal, even if that normal was likely to feel very empty. He had to learn to live with the grief in his own time and in his own way.

"Somebody told me ….….…. that if I want to get some perspective on this I really do need to talk about what happened in Kabul… "

"She's absolutely right of course … all we're trying to do here Charles is to find a way for you to deal with the destructive effects of your _anger_ …" Daniel shook his head then took his glasses off, cleaned them and put them back on before he looked Charles squarely in the eye "We can't do that if you won't talk about it …"

"She?"

-OG-

Chapter 16

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah …. course … why wouldn't it be?"

"Sure?"

"Yeah …. said so didn't I?"

Molly tried smiling up at him knowing it was highly unlikely to fool him, her smiling through her gritted teeth probably looked as bleeding insincere as it felt.

"Is she always like that?"

"Like what?"

"A bit of a nutter"

It wasn't a hard question and she'd sort of expected him to laugh and treat it as a joke but Charles appeared to be mulling it over and treating it as a serious question even though Molly couldn't think for the life of her what there was to bleeding think about, unless she'd offended him. He only really needed to say _sorry if she upset you_ or something.

"Yep, I'd say she pretty much is always like that … a pain in the fucking arse"

"What?" She snorted "That's not a very nice way to talk about your mummy?"

The urge to giggle was overwhelming as the whole fucking thing suddenly struck her as irresistibly funny, and even though she knew she didn't sound in the least bit sorry she kept saying that she was. Every time she looked up at his poker face a fresh wave of giggles hit her and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't stop, even though her eyes were streaming and she was in danger of wetting herself until he eventually stopped struggling to keep his face straight and gave in, threw his head back and started laughing almost as much as she was. Not for the first time it struck her just much younger and _different_ he looked when he was falling about laughing.

There was a tiny bit of her that couldn't help feeling a little bit pleased with herself. She'd made him laugh and had managed to escape without saying or doing anything awful. She'd minded her Ps and Qs, hadn't spilt anything or knocked anything flying, hadn't retaliated when the old boot had been rude and hadn't even said fuck in front of her. Far as she could see she'd been the perfect house guest. Alright maybe Lady Caroline Bleeding James might think a bit different, she might well think her morals were a bit on the dubious side because Molly was pretty sure his mum knew exactly who'd slept where and with who, but she had rinsed out her mug and bowl from breakfast before she put them in the dishwasher and that had to count for something.

To Molly the fact that it was horrible outside, that it was wet and cold and still dark didn't matter, it reminded her of when she'd lived at home and used to escape to her paper round while it was still dark and in all sorts of weather. Nan and her mum used to say that they were worried it was dodgy her being out on her own when it wasn't light, but she used to go as early as she could to get away from her dad when he was in one of his moods with her. Seemed like it always used to be her fault if someone had disturbed his kip. Sometimes she'd been so early that the papers were still on the doorstep of the shop and hadn't even been sorted yet.

Caroline seemed to Molly to be equally good like that. She might be a whole different ball bag to Dave, but she'd got the same bleeding knack of starting off everyone's day in a way that felt like they had to walk round her on eggshells.

She'd snapped and sniped at Charles in her really pissed off posh voice, which he'd totally ignored, something that had made her worse so that she sounded like she was dead close to losing it completely. Molly was pretty sure he was doing on purpose because it didn't matter what she said to him, he just stayed all extra polite when Molly knew that if it had been her, she'd have told her where she could put herself. With bells on. But the snotty cow hadn't addressed one single word to her, had just looked her up and down for a second like she didn't know who the actual fuck she was and had then looked away and carried on giving him grief about something or other, bloody rude cow. His dad had still been nowhere to be seen and Molly was tempted to ask Charles whether he was sure he still lived there, she'd have run off to live somewhere else if she had to live with Caroline.

As soon as he'd said he wouldn't be long and had buggered off to the loo or, as Molly sort of suspected, to see if he could find where his dad was hiding himself, Caroline had switched from looking at her as if she was a bad smell to walking around banging things and muttering something about how she ought to be ashamed of herself, that if wasn't for her hanging around then Rebecca would come back and Sam could have his dad back, something he wanted more than anything else in the whole world. At first Molly wasn't even sure she was talking to her, she thought she might be talking to herself which wouldn't have surprised her, but then knew it was for her benefit. And knew she was lying through her bloody teeth because whatever else, if there was any chance at all that he might be getting back with Rebecca, if that was what he wanted, he'd be with her right now. She knew enough about him to know that he wouldn't have slept with her if that was true, and anyway it wasn't as if they were together, not properly.

She definitely wasn't hanging around him like Caroline had just said, but she still had to blink hard to stop the tears from escaping. She had no idea what she'd done that would make this woman think it was okay to say something like that to someone she didn't even know. Something that wasn't even true, but there was no way she was going to give her the satisfaction of crying in front of her

"I'm sorry … we should have gone out for breakfast …" He was snorting, still trying to get his laughing under control as he buckled his seatbelt and put the key in the ignition, then turned and saw her yawn wide enough to make her jaw click and her eyes water "Whoa …. are you tired?"

"Yeah … bit …. aren't you?"

"Nope … had the best night's sleep I've had in bloody ages" He shook his head and smirked at her "Clark Kent remember and I had my kryptonite … wonderful stuff"

"Ha ha … you're so bleeding funny, hilarious .."

"Indeed …... " He smirked "You know, the sooner I find somewhere to live the better, I've really had enough of her thinking it's okay to try and run my life … I think she thinks she's making up for all the years she wasn't even sure who the fuck I was"

Molly wanted to hug him. The things he'd let slip about his past made her feel really awful for him, although she was pretty sure he wouldn't like it if she told him that. It was as though he just shrugged it off, she'd thought her life had been pretty shit but his sounded as if it had been even worse. At least she'd always known that Nan loved her, and sometimes she'd had her mum as well, but it didn't sound like Charles had had anyone.

"You thinking of moving? I mean, where you gonna go if you move out?"

"Oh Molly …. it was only ever a temporary arrangement .. I've never really lived there, weekends… holidays, the odd week here or there but actually lived there? Nope" He shook his head slowly as if he was thinking aloud "Not since I was very young … there's always been somewhere else I called home … but it was …. easier to park my backside there when it all went to shit with Rebecca …. I needed somewhere to take Sammie … but now I definitely need to get out" He looked over at her and lifted his eyebrows "You could help me look if you like ….."

He didn't wait for her to reply just looked over his shoulder to check for a gap in the rush hour traffic as Molly stared straight ahead and tried to swallow the sick feeling of panic that was rising up from the pit of her stomach. Fucking hell, what had she said? She couldn't remember doing or saying anything to give him the idea that would give him that idea, but if she had then she was going to have to tell him she couldn't even think about it.

"Ummmmm …. Yeah ….…. ummmm … can do if you want …. But if this is to do with me … us …. I can't just …. I mean, you're not expecting me to …. do anything are you?"

"What? Good god no …. no, of course not, sorry …. fuck no … that wasn't what I meant at all …" He shook his head, eyes glued firmly on the traffic, the smirk now completely missing from his face as he flicked a glance in her direction "I really didn't mean it like that …. I just thought you might help me look … but it doesn't matter if you don't want to … if you haven't got time …"

"Thanks a bunch …."

"Oh fuck …. now I've offended you … sorry I didn't mean that the way it sounded either…" She saw him close his eyes for a second and wanted to yell at him to watch the bloody road, that there was no need for him to try and kill them "Oh shit .. sorry"

"S'alright …. It don't matter …. I was just checking … 'n I'd love to 'elp"

But it actually did matter. Even though there wasn't even the remotest chance of her being able to do anything like that, he didn't have to have sounded like that about it so that she was completely bloody mortified and wishing the floor would open up and swallow her. There was absolutely no call for him to sound quite so horrified at the thought.

Even if it had been a pretty good night by her standards, which weren't always great in the past, it had only been one night. The sex had been bloody brilliant, she hadn't had to fake it once and had all these little aches to remember just how good it had been , but it had still only been the one night. Trust her to get it so completely wrong and end up looking and feeling like a total Muppet. Having a lovely night with a lovely bloke didn't alter anything, they still didn't know each other that well and there'd been no promises, not from either of them.

-OG-

"You'll never guess who come to see me the other day … the day we went up to mum's …?"

Once again sitting in silence in the car had begun to get to her so she'd been searching around for something to talk about.

"I've got no idea"

"Tony … you was right, you said he'd be annoyed when he saw me with you"

"What?"

Even though his attention was on the road she knew instantly from the way his eyebrows shot up and the little sideways glance in her direction that she really should have kept her bloody mouth shut. It wasn't like he needed to know any of it and she wasn't even sure now why she'd started telling him, except for him being ace at silence whereas she needed to fill it.

"Tone …. You know …. me ex?"

"I know who mean Molly … what the fuck did he want?"

"Dunno really … well yeah, he asked me to go 'n 'ave a drink with him … he wanted a chat about …. stuff …"

"Stuff? … very enlightening ….. did you go?"

"Nah .."

"Why not?"

"Why? … Charles, apart from anything else he's married inne? … I mean she might not be me mate anymore, but I'm not gonna meet him am I?"

"What did you say to him?"

"What do you think I said? I told him to fuck off …."

"Right …. So you didn't want to … talk about … stuff?"

"Nah …. that's what I said….…."

Molly was beginning to wonder whether she'd imagined it would matter to him one way or the other, he sounded thoroughly pissed off, but as if he was pissed off with her, annoyed that she was even telling him about it.

"When he dumped me he said all I was looking for was someone to fight with in IKEA on Sunday afternoons …. 'n that Donna was different …"

"I like IKEA … can't think of anywhere I'd rather go for a fight on a Sunday afternoon"

"That's bullshit …." Molly giggled "You don't think that at all … no-one does … you're just trying to be nice …"

"I am nice"

"Yeah I know … he said she was fun.. so I'spose what he meant was that I wasn't …. and then he said he didn't wanna spend the rest of his life having missionary sex in the dark with me …"

"Lovely … what a charmer"

"He was making that bit up … but he said he never wanted two point four kids and a mortgage and definitely didn't want to spend his Sundays cleaning the fucking car…."

"I thought you were going to fight in IKEA on Sundays?" Charles shook his head and glanced across at her "What a stupid shit-for-brains wanker"

"You never met him did you? "

"Nope … don't need to meet him to know him … I've just heard what he said to you" He took his left hand off the steering wheel and patted her leg without taking his eyes off the road "Bloody moron hadn't got the fucking sense to see how lucky he was to have you … or what he was throwing away" He shook his head "Tell me something … I've always wondered … how the fuck do you get point 4 of a kid"

"I dunno, do I?…. I don't think it actually means anything …" Molly sniggered "When I told him I wasn't gonna meet him … he told me I needed to think about it … but he never said what I was s'posed to be thinking about … I weren't really listening … I was bothered that Bella was in the kitchen earwigging 'n she was sayin' things in this really loud voice, all about how she reckoned he'd got a ginger cock and balls …" Molly began to snort and began to giggle at the memory which still struck her as funny, they'd laughed themselves sick like a couple of kids when he'd left, although she'd just hastily changed the story slightly. There was no way on earth she was going to tell him that Bella had been speculating loudly about how Molly could ever have put his ginger willy in her mouth without puking "Bella can be well embarrassing"

"Indeed … I can see that Charles bit his bottom lip and began to laugh "But in this case I love her … although I am a bit concerned it was only me that she threatened with the carving knife …"

"Don't exaggerate, she never actually threatened you" Molly looked across at him and began to giggle again "Oh shit, she didn't, did she?"

"Nope … not exactly" He reached over and picked up her hand where it rested in her lap and lifted it up to his mouth to kiss the back of it without taking his eyes off the road "I'm glad you told him to fuck off, Molly"

"Yeah … me too"

-OG-

"MOLLY"

She'd barely got the front door open when Martin flung himself at her and almost knocked her off her feet with the force of the impact as his arms went round her waist and his head hit her full in the stomach which made her stagger backwards slightly. Charles hastily stepped back.

"Hello mate what's up?"

"You didn't come 'ome and you didn't tell me you wasn't gonna be 'ere … and I didn't know where you was ….."

"Yeah you did, I told you mate, you knew I was going to a party with Charles and I told you I was stopping at his mum's 'ouse … did you forget? You know I promised I'd always tell you when I'm not gonna be 'ome … 'n I do, don't I?"

"I knew you wasn't at work 'n I woke up when it was dark 'n you wasn't 'ere"

"Nah … but Nan was … and Bella … 'n you know you'll never be 'ere on your own, mate … and I'm 'ere now, aren't I? So …say hello nicely to Charles and then go and find Nan"

For the first time Charles realised the impact that Martin had on her life. Molly had told him the little boy was nervous and insecure and how he worried about everything, but he saw in that moment just how much his security depended on her. Charles was almost sure that there were things that had gone on that she hadn't told him but he also couldn't help wondering how the fuck she'd managed when she'd been with Tony.

"I'll call you later … alright?"

"Oh …. you going? … yeah … right …..course, okay"

He bent his head and pecked her on the cheek, unsure how much of a display of affection was acceptable in front of Martin and then realised he'd got it badly wrong as soon as he saw the expression on her face.

"Hey … I can see you've got things to sort out here and ….. we can sort everything out later …. can maybe go for a drink?"

"Right" Molly gulped, still not sure whether her initial impression had actually been the right one and that he was just anxious to get away "Maybe later"

"Not maybe … definitely …. I'll call you"

Charles ruffled the top of Martin's head exactly as he would have done if it had been Sam clinging to her like a little monkey then smiled at her as he left. He hoped the smile would tell her what he couldn't say in front of the little boy.

-OG-

"Come on …tell …"

"What? Nothin' to tell …. It was okay, we had champagne, which was well nice, could easy of got pissed on it but I never, and we 'ad them little canape things …." Molly shrugged "The house is nice, dead posh … bit like a stately home really … bloody huge… and there was lots of people there … most of them a bit old … older than me … well, older than 'im 'n all"

"Not talking about the bloody 'ouse … or the people, don't care about any of that" Bella picked up a cushion and cradled it over her stomach before laying back on the sofa and sticking her legs up the back "Well I do but …. did you take any photos?"

"Nah … if I'd of got me phone out she'd 'ave thought I was bleeding casing the joint ….….…. I dunno Bel, his mum wasn't what I expected … mind, I don't exactly know what I did expect … just not her …. she didn't like me very much … told me I was getting in the bloody way of his wife coming back …. hope she was lying … but … not really sure why she'd want to … and I never even met his dad"

"What did Charlie boy say when she said that?"

"Nothin' …. he weren't there and I never said, didn't wanna get into it cos I think she might be a bit of a nutjob actually …. and don't call him that Bel …"

"Why not? Suits him … look, never mind about all that, they weren't the sort of pictures I was thinking … what was he like?"

"What d'you mean … what was he like? …"

"You know…"

"Naaaah …"

"So you didn't then?" Bella sniggered loudly "Yeah you did …. come on … was he a be'er shag than the ginger one?"

"BELLA" Molly tried her best to sound outraged "Did you really think I was gonna take dick-pics to show you and give 'im marks out of ten or a certificate or something? … I'm not you, you know"

"Nah, I'm not selfish like you" Bella sniggered again "Oh fuckety fuck, please don't tell me he was crap …"

"He's a really good kisser … a really, really good kisser … best kisser I've ever …" Molly started giggling "Kissed …"

"Yeah, and ….. And? ….. _**AND? …..**_ "

"And I'm gonna 'ave a bath"

"MOLLY DAWES… don't be so bleeding annoying … come on, tell me … you can't have a bath anyway, Nan's in there … she'll be bleeding hours yet … and then I'm after her …"

Molly grinned and flounced out to the kitchen, as Bella yelled after her, but she had no intention of telling her anything, and didn't actually need or want a bath either. She wanted to be on her own with no-one asking her anything or wanting her to do anything, she just wanted to think.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: First thank you so much for all your lovely reviews and comments … I know this update has taken a while but it is long and I hope you can still remember what it was all about … I promise that Chapter 17 is almost ready …**_


	17. Chapter 17

"I'm not angry … " Charles' carefully masked expression was belied by the look in his eyes "And what the fuck makes you think this has got anything to do with her? _"_

Daniel leaned back for a moment and shook his head slowly, not sure whether Charles had meant to reveal quite as much as he had in that unguarded moment, but put it on the back burner for now. He didn't want to get side tracked into any discussion about her involvement in Charles' life, or why he was so reluctant to admit to it.

"I don't believe I mentioned anyone in particular … but ….. in my experience it usually is a wife or a mother …. or maybe a lover …." He smiled and pulled the bundle of papers towards him and pretended he was checking something. He remembered clearly what Charles had said about his relationship with both his wife and his mother "Someone who cares a great deal anyway… mind you, of course, that's not always a girl … right …where were we? " He said it as though he was changing the subject and was verbally dusting off his hands before moving move on "You say that you don't feel angry … so how do you feel about the role Captain Azizi played in events?" He paused and took off his glasses to clean them, then held them in his hand and looked steadily across at Charles waiting for an answer.

"How do you mean?" Charles knew only too well that Daniel would know he was prevaricating, but his first instinct was to buy enough time to think about the best way of phrasing his answer. It would be pretty bloody pointless to try and lie but a truthful response would contradict what he'd said about not being angry. The one thing he definitely wasn't going to do was bleat about betrayal, given a choice he preferred not to dwell on the part the Afghani had played in the whole clusterfuck, but he wasn't about to let Daniel see that he'd touched a raw nerve either.

"I suppose … yup … I suppose I am angry … but with myself … …. and with bloody good reason" He bit the corner of his lip before carrying on as if he was thinking aloud "I thought I knew him so I didn't exercise anything like enough caution" Charles paused again and thought for a second "I took too much on trust …. and I didn't fucking listen when a junior member of the section tried to tell me she had doubts ….. I well and truly fucked up"

"But looking back now, was there was anything in his demeanour … anything at all about the way he seemed that could, or indeed should, have made you suspicious … to make you suspect that he was no longer the man you thought you knew … that he'd … changed?"

"Nope … but that's no excuse, it was my bloody job to know"

"Look … forget Azizi for a second … what about the other people involved?"

Much as Charles was trying not to admit that bloody Daniel was right, he knew he was. He was angry. He was angrier then he wanted to admit about the whole fucking thing, and that anger wasn't only directed at Azizi, in fact he no longer gave two shits about the duplicitous bastard who'd betrayed him, he was angry with Elvis. Underneath he was unbelievably angry that his best friend had gambled with his life and lost, and had left him with an ache in his chest that wouldn't go away. An ache that was anger and an enormous sadness and a sense of everything being futile. And he had no right to feel that way, it was a selfishly misplaced anger towards someone who had been the victim not the villain.

"If you're talking about Elvis ….….. why the fuck would I be angry with him?" Charles rubbed a hand over the back of his neck "It wasn't his fault … "

Daniel put his glasses back on and started to twirl his pen backwards and forwards in his fingers before raising his eyebrows in a sort of silent disbelief that made Charles grit his teeth. Daniel was doing exactly what he used to do himself, and was irritating the fuck out of him in a way that made him wish he could just get up and walk out. He wished he could forget the whole fucking thing.

"He wasn't the only one affected by events that day was he?"

"I'm not sure what you mean Daniel, Elvis was the one blown off the fucking building ..." Charles took a deep breath "Or are you talking about me? Because I can assure you that the one thing I am not is a victim …"

"No … and we both know there's little point in me telling you that you're not the villain either, that things are rarely that black and white … but you need to ask yourself why you don't feel you can allow yourself to admit to being angry … you have an absolute right to be angry" Daniel sat forward "We are all a mixture of villain and victim in our own lives Charles … Beauty and the Beast, if you like …"

"Are you really using a bloody fairy tale analogy on me?" Charles wanted to laugh, but the laugh stuck in his throat when he saw that Daniel hadn't intended a joke.

"To a degree circumstances will dictate how we react, the triggers can be a mixture of our upbringing and what we perceive to be the right way to react, how we see ourselves …." He paused and thought for a second "Panic … and anger, especially anger we feel the need to suppress … can have a _destructive_ effect on our lives _…._ and are often down to clinging onto unreal expectations … of ourselves and others …and it's only when you start to accept that we are all a mixture of hero and villain that you can start getting some perspective … some peace … "

"Christ, I used to quote that sort of stuff all the time at other people …."

Charles' mind was suddenly awash with memories of funerals and of a hot and dusty FOB in Afghan and how it all seemed so very long ago and far away now, so much had changed since those days it felt like another world, almost as if it had happened to someone else and not him.

"I just want put it all behind me …. I need to get back to doing the things I do best … and I can't help being …. a bit concerned …. that I'll be lucky to be given the chance" He shook his head and leaned forward to run his hand over the back of his neck "I know pushing people away and shutting them out probably isn't the best way to go about things …"

-OG-

Chapter 17

"But what the fuck made you do something like that?"

"Please Charles, don't use language like that to me"

"Mum … I'm trying very hard not to lose my temper here, I want you to tell me what made you say all that to her when you know it isn't true …. "

"Don't talk to me in that tone of voice, I'm your mother not one of your _troops"_

"Just as well" Charles was doing his best to control the bubble of anger that was simmering under the surface. It was something he didn't usually find difficult but he'd been seething since Caroline had admitted what she'd said to Molly. The worst of it was she didn't seem at all ashamed or upset about him knowing, in fact she seemed almost proud of it.

"I don't want to discuss this anymore… I … did it for your own good … surely you must be able to see that …. I was trying to help you, goodness knows … left to your own devices you've made a poor job of it up till now so you must see you need help …. that it was in your best interests"

"Un..fucking..believable …" He slowly shook his head "But yes, you're right about one thing Mum … there is no point in discussing it any further … I'm done"

-OG-

Molly had no bloody clue how long she'd been asleep, all she knew was that she'd been dreaming and it felt like a week, and she was bloody frozen stiff. Even before she thought about what she was doing she got in the bed and snuggled down to get warm but then kept drifting off into another little doze and waking up with a start, and each time she woke, she wasn't sure whether she'd dropped off again for five minutes or for hours. All she did know was that her mouth tasted bleeding horrible as if she'd been sleeping with it wide open and had quite possibly been snoring as well. Either that or something had crawled in her mouth and died while she'd been asleep.

But she couldn't stop where she was, she had to get up and see Martin, she hadn't seen him properly for days, hadn't played with him with his new stuff, and hadn't even clapped eyes on Nan since she'd got back from Bath let alone talked to her. She knew Nan would be getting off home soon, that she wouldn't dream of leaving mum on her own with the others for much longer.

He hadn't rung, no-one had. There'd been no missed calls and no texts, and telling herself it was only what she'd known all along didn't help, not when she knew the rest of her day was going to be spent listening for a phone that wasn't going to ring. But she wasn't going to cry over it, or over him, she'd done enough of that over bloody Tony and it was her own fucking fault, she should have stuck to the promise she'd made herself of never, ever, EVER again.

-OG-

"Bella ….? " He put his head on one side as she opened the door a crack and peered round it "Hey …"

"Moll didn't say you was coming …"

"Didn't she … is she in?" He bit his lip with the sudden realisation that it was entirely possible that Molly had gone out and that this was going to turn out that he'd spent the journey carefully working out what to say for nothing. But Bella nodded vigorously, even though there was something slightly off balance about the way she did it and the way she was obviously finding it hard to focus "Is it alright if I come in?"

"What? Yeah… prob'bly"

He wasn't entirely sure she was going to remember what she was supposed to be doing as she wandered unsteadily in the direction of the stairs, and was beginning to think he should be ready to catch her as she cannoned off the wall. But she steadied herself with one hand on the newel post before yelling up the stairs in a somewhat slurred voice so that he wondered what time she'd actually started drinking because it was a tad early to be as pissed as she obviously was even if it was still technically Christmas.

"Moll …. MOLLS … someone at the door for you … you awake?" She paused and still holding onto the post for balance went up a couple of stairs and yelled again at the top of her voice "MOLLS …"

"I heard you, stop shoutin' will you I'm not bleeding deaf … Listen … if it's them women again wanting me to make room in me life for Jesus, tell 'em I'll get back to 'em when I've cleared a bit of space"

"It's not them" Bella sniggered "'n they wouldn't keep coming back if you told them to fuck off"

"Who is it?"

"Guess"

"Come on Bel ..… who is it?"

Molly narrowed her eyes at Bella who was hanging off the newel post at the bottom of the stairs with one hand and swinging backwards and forwards while smirking happily, she was obviously intent on paying her back for earlier.

"It's me …. and you're a bloody heathen"

"'ello …..… what you doing 'ere?"

"I was just passing …"

"No-one just passes 'ere … go on in, won't be a sec"

"Lovely"

Molly could hear herself sounding all excited when she should have been trying to be all cool and sophisticated like the women Caroline thought were suitable, but couldn't wipe the huge happy grin off her face. It hadn't occurred to her for one little second that it could be him and her first instinct was to run downstairs and throw herself on him like Martin had done to her earlier. But being dead happy that it wasn't a fuck and duck after all didn't mean it didn't matter that she looked so shit.

"Do me a favour Bel … go and talk to him … make him a cuppa or something … I need to sort meself out a bit"

"Too late … Nan's 'ijacked him" Bella giggled "They're 'aving a nice little chat so if I was you I'd 'urry meself up … and yeah you do … you look bleeding rough"

"Thanks … fuck … think I stink 'n all"

Molly cupped both hands over her mouth and huffed into them trying to see if her breath smelled anything like as horrible as her mouth tasted but couldn't tell "'ere … how bad do I stink?" She bent forward and breathed out forcibly in Bella's direction but then recoiled slightly "Jeez think you smell worse than me … like the Earl at closing …."

"I don't …. just 'ad a couple that's all … can't smell nothing so chew some gum or something …. bit shit what you're wearing though innit?"

"Go on Bels, go and stop Nan sayin' … stuff"

"How am I meant to do that?" Bella sniggered loudly, she'd been drinking steadily for hours and was now thoroughly enjoying herself "Gag her or some'ing? I know …. I'll jump him, that'll keep him happy"

"Don't you bloody dare ….… just be'ave … I'll only be a sec"

She ran to the bathroom and rinsed her mouth with some mouthwash that tasted almost as vile as her mouth and tried to tug a hairbrush through the tangled mess of her hair but gave up and used both hands to rake through it and try and fluff it out a bit. She wasn't bothered about not having a scrap of make-up, or about the red patches on her chin from his stubble, he'd seen all that before, but was a bit bothered that Bella was right and that the West Ham top was a bit ripe, so tugged it off and threw it on the floor before she rushed into her room and pulled a shirt on. It looked clean to her but she sniffed the armpits dubiously to make sure before buttoning it frantically and running downstairs. And then undid the top two and had another surreptitious sniff at herself, looking rough as a badger's arse was one thing but smelling like one was something she could really do without.

-OG-

Charles was doing his best to concentrate on what Nan was saying about the days when Molly's granddad was still with them for Christmas and how he used to love the parties in the Earl which Charles presumed was a pub, but how it had all changed now and not for the better. He'd slightly lost track so wasn't entirely sure whether that was because her husband was dead, or whether he'd just left or whether it was the pub she was talking about or whether it was just a rhetorical observation, and had no idea what Bella was finding so bloody funny about it. But as Nan talked about Christmas being expensive something obviously struck Bella as hilarious, she was sniggering and snorting her way steadily down a glass of something he was pretty sure wasn't the Coke she swore it was. He took the tiniest possible sip of the neat whiskey Nan had insisted on pouring for him out of the bottle she'd had in her bag, but literally just wet his lips. He didn't want to appear rude and leave it but she'd given him enough to fell a bloody horse and never mind about being fit to drive, if he drank it all he'd be out bloody cold. But Nan had airily waved away all his protests about not really being a drinker, and about drinking and driving and had insisted on filling the tumbler to the brim and he had the feeling that if he drank any significant amount she'd be there topping it up again.

The glimpse he had out of the corner of his eye of Molly making her way downstairs made it even harder for him to concentrate on Nan, every tiny bit of him was suddenly involved in an epic struggle not to turn his head and stare. It was for all the world like turning the clock back to the first time he'd been there, except the way he'd wanted her that day was nothing compared to the way he felt now. Then she'd been this very young and very little girl in a football shirt, a pretty girl that he hadn't known but had been instinctively attracted to. A girl who had been in all sorts of trouble and had needed him, someone who'd made him feel ten feet tall, and someone who'd amused and irritated him in equal measures. But it was so much more complicated now. Now she unsettled him in just about every way possible, she was in his head every spare minute of every day, every night at bedtime and again in the morning, as well as a hell of a lot of the time in between. He wished more than anything that they were on their own so that he could just forget every other consideration and go over and pick her up and kiss her until she was clinging to him. He wished he could take her to bed. The thing he wanted most in the world was for her to be happy, but knew that for that to happen she deserved someone far better than him.

Molly saw the little worried frown on his face as he seemed to concentrate on whatever Nan was banging on about, there was this little furrow between his eyes that she'd seen a lot the night before, and just like then all she wanted was to go over and kiss it away. She wanted to tell him to stop worrying so much because whatever it was, it was all going to be fine.

The night before she'd thought he'd looked like someone in a film or something, he'd looked dead sexy all dressed up in his posh party gear, but she thought he looked even better sitting there looking at Nan like that. But the blue shirt he had on was obviously brand new, it still had the bloody creases from the packet, a present, a fucking Christmas present that someone had paid an arm and a leg for, and it obviously wasn't a cheapie from the market either so she couldn't help wondering who the fuck had bought it for him. But as she told herself, it was none of her business and then decided that she bloody hated it.

As soon as he saw her he half got up and did that jerky head thing of his to get her to sit next to him and immediately shifted his bum along the sofa to make room between him and Bella, who'd parked her backside right next to his. Molly wriggled into the space he'd created and shoved Bella none too gently along a bit, then gave her the stink eye which she completely ignored as she smirked and nodded in Nan's direction.

"Nan's just been telling Charlie boy all about Christmas down the Earl with Grandad and her doing Christmas shopping … she was sayin' how it costs a lot these days to get the stuff the kids want"

"Shit … 'as she?" Charles leaned forward as both girls started to smirk and then giggle and looked sideways at the pair of them, bewildered because he couldn't see anything funny at all. He was at a loss to know what the hell they were laughing at.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Nothin' … " Molly was still giggling as she put her hand on his thigh "Don't worry 'bout it …." She turned to look at her grandmother biting her lip as she tried to stop laughing, she didn't want Nan to go off on one of her lectures "Where's Mar'in, Nan?"

"Doing Lego with that little mate of his … that Arfur … Bella can go 'n get him in a minute" Nan ignored Bella's indignant shout of "Why me?" and carried on bustling around laying the table. And smiling in Charles' direction.

Molly bent towards him and whispered in his ear which made all the little hairs shiver "What you really doing 'ere Charles? … I mean, not that it's not nice to see you or nothing, it's just … wondered …"

"I told you …I was passing"

"Don't lie ….…"

"Okay, maybe not … I just wanted a quick word"

One thing she was pretty sure was that he hadn't come to dump her. Not that he'd touched her or kissed her or anything, he hadn't even given her a peck on the cheek to say hello, but from the way he smiled when he looked at her and the way he pressed his hip against hers then shuffled a tiny bit closer so their thighs were touching made her think he wasn't about to duck.

"We'll go 'n get 'im, Nan …." Molly stood up and put her hand out towards Charles "She can't, she's bloody ratted"

-OG-

"Hey …" He leaned forward and did up the buttons on her shirt "Don't want you to get cold"

"Hey yourself …. that's a nice shirt … present was it?"

"Yup … from Sammie … or rather from whoever bought it for him to give me"

"It's nice … it suits you"

"Thank you"

Suddenly she didn't hate it at all as she moved closer until she was almost touching him instead of standing just close enough to almost breathe his air as he cradled her face in his hands, then bent his head and kissed her. She nibbled at his bottom lip which sent a bolt of desire through him and made all his resolutions about creating some sort of distance between them disappear. The fact that she looked so ridiculously fucking young as she tucked her hand through his arm and smiled at him didn't stop him wanting desperately to take her up to bed.

"So, what was that all about then?"

"What was what about?"

"You and Bella ….. and your Nan … something was obviously funny .. what were you laughing at?"

"Nothin' … not really … " Molly snorted "Just don't go shoppin' with 'er that's all … Nan don't believe in capitalism don't believe in shops making a profit 'n that …. She thinks they should share … its gonna get her arrested one of these days"

"Right … shit …"

"Yeah … is a bit …. What did you want to talk to me about? You're not mad at me are you?"

"Nope … although I bloody should be … you should've told me"

"Told you what?"

Charles looked down at her walking next to him and at the way sleet was causing drops of icy water to drip down her face off the fur trim round her hood and struggled to control the urge to put his hand up and wipe it away with his thumb. He pulled an irritated exasperated face and suddenly she knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Oh …"

"Oh …indeed"

"Right … sorry …"

"Fuck Molly, you're not the one who should be saying sorry …." He shook his head "She was talking utter bollocks .. you do know that don't you?"

"Yeah … well … yeah … s'pose"

"There's no _suppose_ about it … I've got no idea what the fuck she thought she was playing at … none of it, not a single solitary word of that was true and it's not even as if she ever liked Rebecca … look … I promise you that Rebecca and I ….. are not going to happen … it's over … done with …. finished …"

"Yeah you said …. But why did she say all that then, do you know?… Not that she did, not exactly, I mean she sort of said it … but just not to me if you know what I mean" Molly frowned "What made her tell you anyway?"

"I asked her … and the electrodes and the rubber hose helped … beating the crap out of her worked wonders … just ordinary day to day stuff … nothing too extreme" He began to laugh at the look of horror that passed over her face, it was obvious that just for a minute she'd believed him.

"You never …"

"No, you're right I never"

"It's not funny, stop bleeding laughing" Molly started biting her lip, his laughter was infectious "What did you say to her?"

"What, apart from telling her that I was out of there? Told her I wasn't going to let her spoil the best blow-job of my entire life"

"WHAT? You bloody didn't … please tell me you didn't" Molly turned her appalled face towards him "Weren't true anyway … weren't me, I don't remember that … must of been someone else"

"Now who's telling lies?" He snorted "Of course I didn't, what do you take me for?"

"Beginning to bloody wonder …. Did she tell you why she said it?"

"For my own good apparently …. I'm not sure what's going on but … she's obviously got …issues … she seems to think she can control everything around her … and dad won't do as he's told … and now me …"

"'ave you changed your mind about moving out then?"

"Christ no …"

"Good"

"Come on, let's stop talking about her and go and find this brother of yours"

-OG-

"Maybe she needs to go and talk to your bloke"

"I thought we weren't talking about her anymore"

Martin had run off ahead towards the house. He'd had a deeply unhappy scowl on his face as soon as he'd seen Charles, he was obviously far from happy about him being there and had carefully manoeuvred himself to make sure he was on the other side of Molly.

"We're not …. I'm just sayin' that's all … I mean, it's not like you talk to him is it?"

"Molly …."

"Yeah?"

"Shut the fuck up …. And please don't start trying to analyse me … okay?"

"I'm not … look … I've got no bleeding clue what he charges … but … don't matter if someone's talking complete shit he's not going to tell 'em to shut their cakehole is he? He's gotta sit and listen … 'n then you bloody go in there 'n don't say a dicky bird … what do you do, sit and look at each other?" She shrugged and sneaked a quick sideways peek at his face to make sure he wasn't about to do a Captain Stern on her "Seems to me like its a bit of a waste that's all"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: A very long chapter for a Sunday afternoon which I hope you enjoy and thank you for all the lovely comments and reviews for Chapter 16.**_


	18. Chapter 18

"Right …" Daniel had none of his usual outward show of restlessness, he hadn't touched his glasses or picked up his pen to twirl between his fingers, instead he was sitting very still and looking steadily at Charles "Tell me Captain James, where do you see us going from here?"

He looked down and shuffled the pile of papers in front of him, then lined them up carefully before he patted the edges into a neat pile, leaned forward and rested his weight on his elbows. He was watching Charles as he continued to look at the floor between his legs and shake his head very slowly from side to side.

The expression on his face was shuttered, he'd retreated behind his habitual impenetrable mask but Daniel knew that he was now deeply regretting the uncharacteristic chink in the armour that he had so carefully wrapped around him.

But Charles knew nothing had changed, that whatever Daniel said he'd have to be some sort of bloody nuts to let him, or anyone else for that matter, get close enough to add a note to a file somewhere outlining just how flaky he was. Despite all her good intentions Molly had been 100% wrong about it being an opportunity, but then she didn't understand the way things worked in the army.

"There is only one rule from now on …." Daniel took his glasses off and wiped them carefully before holding them up to the light and then replacing them in order to peer at Charles over the top " _Honesty"_

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means?"

Daniel picked up his pen, apparently needing to scrutinise it very thoroughly before placing it carefully and deliberately on the desk in front of him, then looked up and blinked his eyes rapidly at Charles who felt a familiar surge of irritation. Once again Daniel had not given him the straight answer to a straight question that he craved. As far as he could see it was fucking simple, all he needed to know was how the fuck any of this bollocks was going to help him persuade Beck to let things go back to normal. That he was ready. But as usual bloody Daniel had seemed more intent on turning it round and making him supply the answer for himself.

"I'm not sure what you're getting at .."

"I think you know only too well Charles … the truth, that's what we're looking for …. the truth … if you're serious about making progress, and I believe you are, then you already know that we can only begin to do that if you start being honest ….. with yourself as well as with me … so … what's it to be? From here on in we can sit in silence and say nothing if that's what you want … there's all the time in the world …. or we can talk about anything you like …. But it has to be the absolute truth … nothing else will do …"

-OG-

Chapter 18

"What's the ma'er?"

He was hesitating by the gate, his hands deep in his pockets rocking backwards and forwards on his heels and looking for all the world as if he was about to forego lunch with Nan and get in his car and leave. Molly could see he had a face on him like a slapped arse.

"Nothing … there's nothing the matter" When he finally looked at her, his expression was carefully blank "I don't go around spilling my guts right, left and centre Molly, you know that, it's not as if I haven't told you"

"I was only trying to 'elp … sorry"

His words and tone of voice had taken her aback, it hurt like a verbal slap that he was throwing the fact that she didn't want him to be _hurting_ back in her face. And it wasn't like she really cared or anything, it was no bloody skin off her nose if he didn't want to talk to Daniel, his choice, his loss, but maybe she shouldn't have tried to interfere. Actually there was no maybe about it, she should definitely have kept her fucking gob shut. It wasn't like he hadn't got everything already, well his job might be a bit shit at the moment, but he must be bloody shit-hot at it otherwise they wouldn't bother trying to fix him, and even though his wife had fucked off, the way he looked he probably wouldn't have much trouble finding a replacement, his mum would be only too happy to help with that. And he had more than enough money by the looks of things. Although to be fair that might be a bit of an assumption on her part, it could just be his lot and not him, and next to her everyone looked like they'd got loads of money. There was no reason why any of it should have anything to do with her.

"Sorry ….… none of my bloody business…."

Molly opened and closed her mouth a couple of times in an attempt to find the right words but failed miserably. She wanted to say something that would stop him just getting in his car and pissing off, she had a horrible feeling that if that happened it would be curtains for her, for them. It was odds on that she'd never see him again.

"I'm sorry … shouldn't 'ave said any of that …. come on, let's get in, it's bloody taters out 'ere"

He blinked a couple of times and just for a moment looked as lost as she felt.

"I know you were only trying to help … but …. don't, okay …just don't" He shrugged and ran his hand over his face. Just for a minute it had felt as if he was listening to a distant echo of Rebecca and his mother, and the withdrawal behind his mask had been instinctive "In my experience talking doesn't help … especially when you let emotion get in the way"

"Yeah …. you're prob'bly right"

Molly wanted the conversation over. She heartily wished now that she'd never said anything in the first place, but she'd meant what she'd said, she had only been trying to help. But he obviously didn't need or want any help, or at least not from her.

-OG-

He was uncomfortably aware that he was being an arse sulking like a schoolboy, but when she'd told him he was being a dick about Daniel there'd been a moment when he'd regretted ever telling her about the counselling. Now she'd gone very quiet and was flicking little sideways glances at him as they sat on the sofa looking on-line at properties for rent. Every time his eyes met hers he could see that they were swimming with what he was horribly afraid were unshed tears.

It had taken them no time at all to underline what he already suspected, that Christmas week was a shit time to be looking to move. There was nothing available out there that didn't require either an eye-watering amount of money, or a flame-thrower to improve it, it seemed no-one in their right mind would even think about moving until the grim reality of January gave them itchy feet. It seemed it was a lengthy trudge round the agents for him to get his name at the top of the list when stuff began to trickle onto the market. He couldn't just stay in barracks, not when that meant there was nowhere to take Sam so for the time being he was stuck with Royal Crescent. And Caroline.

-OG-

"Oi … not too far Mar'in"

The two boys were racing along in front as she shouted, torn between being happy he felt safe enough to let go of her and just be a kid and muck about and have fun, and the feeling she had all the time that she was responsible for making sure he actually was safe.

"Hey … stop worrying ….…. we can see them and they won't go too far … they're fine"

"I'm not worrying…"

"No of course you're not …"

He raised his eyebrows and shook his head slightly as he looked at her. He'd been worried that he might have irreparably fucked things up between them the last time he'd been with her, but she seemed to have forgiven him for the way he'd sulked and there was a warm glow of happiness in his gut at just being with her. Not that she'd said anything about his stupidity, not today and not when they'd spoken on the phone and they'd spoken a lot since then, so much so that he'd had to make a conscious effort to ration the number of times he called. Because even chatting to her on the phone about nothing very much, teasing her and listening to her give as good as she got had begun to be a bit of a minefield. He was becoming more and more conscious of missing her a fucking ridiculous amount and just hearing the smile in her voice without even being able to see the expression in her eyes or the wide goofy grin on her face had begun to start alarm bells ringing. And he hadn't even been able to see whether she was, as he suspected, rolling her eyes at his pathetic attempts to make her laugh.

He'd been over the moon when Rebecca had said he could have Sam to himself for a couple of days, it should have been the absolute highlight of his week, but the atmosphere at Royal Crescent was toxic with disapproval. Even with Sam there every time Charles walked in a room, Caroline walked out, usually without saying a word and he was horribly aware that Sam was a virtual barometer for emotion ever since the split. The quieter and more wary his son got, the more he worried he got until it seemed a really good idea to get him out of there for the day. And if he was being honest kill two birds with one stone, it gave him the excuse he felt he needed to spend time with Molly. Even though he knew he probably shouldn't.

And there was still Martin. The last time he'd seen him, every time he'd looked at him the little boy had been scowling as if he didn't trust him, although Molly had been adamant that it had nothing to do with him or anything he'd done. It was just that Martin didn't like strangers of any kind and treated them all the same. She'd insisted that it had taken him near enough two years to get used to Tony, something that for some reason didn't make Charles feel any better at all. But she hadn't given him reasons, as soon as she'd finished telling him what she wanted him to know, she'd clammed up and refused to say anything else about it.

It hadn't even been properly light when he'd called to suggest Weston, saying the forecast was good, or at least it wasn't supposed to rain, and that he thought the boys would enjoy blowing the cobwebs away. He'd played his trump card by telling her he thought Sam should get out of Royal Crescent for the day knowing she would understand exactly what he was talking about, although he hadn't breathed a word about how much he could do with getting out of there himself.

The reality was a biting cold wind blowing off the far distant sea which was making their eyes water and Molly getting so sick of trying to keep her hair back off her face that she did the unthinkable and pulled up her hood. It was something she only ever did if it was pissing with rain, she hated the way she thought it made her look like a boiled egg, but Charles didn't seem to notice. He was just busy laughing at her constant stream of complaints about it being alright for him, Clark Kent with his Superman thermals, but she was a mere human being who hadn't had any kryptonite for breakfast so was going to bloody freeze to death.

"Where the fuck are your gloves?" He put his hand down and captured her frozen fingers in his large warm ones.

"Dunno … left 'em somewhere" Charles threw his head back and laughed, then shook it before he tucked her hand in his warm pocket with his own large warm fingers still wrapped around her tiny cold ones.

"Should have known, shouldn't I? ….. what is it with you and losing your things …?

"I don't …. they're not lost … just can't remember where I last 'ad 'em that's all 'n I didn't get time to look this morning did I?"

"Lovely … my fault then?"

"Okay …. if you say so"

"That wasn't what I meant …."

The hangover from the claustrophobic atmosphere of Royal Crescent had vanished in their laughter by the time they were walking along the promenade with her hand in his pocket. Molly kept complaining she couldn't see the sea, even though Charles kept assuring her it was there, but the boys didn't seem to care one way or the other. They were jumping about and pushing and shoving one another and then laughing wildly as they ran backwards and forwards in the freezing cold wind with their arms outstretched. In spite of the wind and not being sure whether the damp in the air was rain, it all felt right somehow to Charles.

"Daddy …?"

Sam was hopping from one leg to the other and then doing standing jumps in order to impress Martin which made Molly smile as she watched the way her little brother copied him slavishly.

"Yup?..."

"Why has Molly got her hand in your pocket?"

"Umm … well … let me see now … she's only little so I'm holding onto her to stop her getting blown away …"

"Don't take no notice Sam … that's just your dad being daft … he's keeping me 'and from freezing and falling off"

"That's Molly being silly now … her hand is not going to fall off … hands don't fall off because they're cold … she's lost her gloves that's all … she's very good at losing stuff" Charles snorted "But I prefer my version"

"Is Molly your girlfriend?"

They looked at one another with raised eyebrows and Molly shot an anxious glance at Martin. She tried to gauge his reaction but he seemed more interested in seeing how far he could jump from a standing start compared to Sam's efforts.

"What gave you that idea, Scamp?"

"Mummy said you had one … she said Gran told her you had a new girlfriend … I heard her telling someone … and I was thinking that if you and Molly were married, that would mean Martin would be my brother …"

"Ummm … nah … ummm … sorry Sam … that's not right …. I'm not Mar'in's mum, I'm his sister .. and me and your dad … we're not gonna get married … we're just mates … sorry"

"Why not?" Molly thought Sam was beginning to sound whiney and was beginning to irritate her the way he was putting her on the spot, it wasn't her bleeding job to explain it to him, it was up to Charles to stop bloody snorting and laughing and tell him "Don't you like him?"

"Yeah … course I do, mate … but …. getting married to someone ….. that's … it's a really big deal Sam, and I'm sure its lovely if you find someone who loves you enough to wanna marry you … someone who wants to put a ring on your finger 'n show everyone else that you're taken and that they've got no blee…. no chance …..but you 'ave to be really, really sure …"

"But you can get a divorce can't you Daddy?" Sam looked genuinely puzzled as he looked up at his father "If you get fed up with being married to someone … you can just not be married to them anymore"

"Fuck … " Charles muttered under his breath and squeezed Molly's fingers trying to decide whether to see if he could change the subject or try to explain that it wasn't exactly as simple as that. It was pretty bloody obvious that he was going to need to confront it at some point if his son wasn't going to have some very dubious ideas of what constituted commitment, but it was definitely not something he wanted to do on the spur of the moment without thinking what to say or with an audience.

"Sometimes grown-ups find it doesn't matter how much they loved each other, that things change … but that doesn't mean they don't care anymore or that they don't love their kids …. they do, very much, and nothing will ever change that … I'm sure I'm not the only one who's told you …. I'm sure your mum has told you the same thing …. " Molly squeezed his fingers "Hey look boys .. there's a café over there, who's for hot chocolate?"

"Meeeeeee" Molly immediately jumped in to lead the chorus before changing direction to start walking towards the café. He squeezed her fingers again in gratitude.

-OG-

Molly was doing her best to be all nonchalant and not keep looking at him or even worse doing something weird and start sniffing him as he stood back to let her get in the booth first. When he sat himself next to her he was close enough for her to smell his unique mixture of shower gel and fabric conditioner and the smell that was just him and for her to feel the way his thigh was pressing against hers and it was hard to think about anything else. But Martin was swinging his feet backwards and forwards and kicking the bloody table leg so she tried hard to concentrate on the way he was pushing his luck and pulled faces at him, but he was taking no bloody notice of her at all. He seemed intent on embarrassing her having a competition with Sam to see who could make the most disgusting noises slurping their drinks and giggling. Normally she'd have yelled at him to pack it in making noises like a bleeding drain but she was a bit reluctant to risk upsetting him by having a go in front of Sam, not when he was happy with being around strangers. She wished Charles would tell the other little bugger to stop and then she could tell Martin that meant him as well, but Charles didn't seem a bit bothered about how they were behaving. He was just sitting there with this happy smirk on his gob and didn't seem to notice when the waitresses and the other customers looked at them, he just looked happy, happier than she'd ever seen him, apart from when they'd been on their own in his bedroom, but that was different.

"Molls? …"

"Yeah?"

"When we get home …. can Sam come in and play in our house?"

"Course he can …. I mean, if he wants …. and if that's alright with his dad of course"

"Lovely … nothing his dad would like better than to come in and play …"

"Shut up"

Her cheeks had been rosy when they'd come into the steamy warmth of the café out of the cold wind, but that was nothing to how red she went when she blushed. Suddenly he desperately wanted to be on his own with her, he wanted the boys to be playing some game or other somewhere so that he could see just how often he could make her blush.

"Come on beautiful … if everyone's finished I think its time for home"

-OG-

"Spag Bol okay?"

"You don't have to feed us Molly … we'll make tracks shortly …"

"Are you sayin' you don't want any? I mean it's that or nothing and I'll have you know that's me signature dish …. that 'n beans on toast …" Molly giggled happily and held up a jar of spaghetti sauce "It's about all I can cook"

"Lovely … and we'd love some if you're sure there's enough and that you don't mind … or I can get a takeaway if you like?"

Nah … you're okay"

His plan for the boys to disappear somewhere to play and leave him alone with her hadn't exactly worked out the way he'd wanted. Sam had been in raptures to find that their tree was still up with the lights still on it which meant it was still Christmas in Martin's house when both his mother and grandmother had taken them down. He couldn't help being a tiny bit envious when Molly told him it was staying where it was until Twelfth Night which as far as he was concerned was ages away, but had then happily followed Martin's suggestion of finding some game or other. There had barely been enough time for him to put his arms round her when loud crashes and bangs and shrieks of laughter from upstairs had him striding to the bottom of the stairs, worried that Sam was going to do some irreparable damage to something. Molly was obviously unperturbed as she shrugged and said no-one was screaming and there didn't sound like there was any blood so it probably sounded a lot worse than it was, but he'd already barked out an order for Sam to stop whatever it was he was doing instantly and to come downstairs. They'd played a very noisy game of Battleships instead with him against the boys and Molly as official observer and referee, a game that was full of blatant cheating, most of which was down to Molly. She wasn't even the tiniest bit contrite when he cottoned on to what was happening, she just dissolved into fits of giggles with the boys instead, before high fiving them and telling him that he had to lighten up. That when you played anything with the Dawes family you needed to forget all that rubbish about cheats not prospering, it was the best cheat that always won. It was the only way _to_ win when everyone cheated. Charles couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Sam laughing the way he was when he told him not to listen or when he'd last laughed as much or as freely himself. He couldn't remember when he'd last had so much fun.

-OG-

"Please Daddy ….. pleeeeease"

"Nope … come on Scamp we really can't … you know we can't … and don't start crying … Gran is expecting us and we haven't got any stuff …"

"You can ring her …. and you know Gran won't care ….. and we don't need stuff .."

"What will your mum say when your teeth fall out …. and Molly will be fed up with us if we stay too long …"

"Oi don't bring me into it"

"They won't …. I promise I'll clean them twice tomorrow and Molly said it was okay with her but that I had to ask you …. so please Daddy … can I? I really, really want to …. pleeeeeease?" Sam had no intention of being thwarted or of being sidetracked out of his best wheedling mode by such irrelevancies as cleaning teeth, as a brilliant compromise suddenly struck him "You can go home if you like Daddy …. and I can stay here with Martin …. and you can come and get me tomorrow"

"Bloody hell …." Charles shook his head and smirked as he chewed the inside of his cheek and looked at the floor before looking up at Molly. She knew as well as he did that there'd never been any question of him not giving in, he wanted to stay the night as much as Sam did, probably more.

-OG-

"You look tired" He closed his eyes and sighed as she ran her fingertips over the dark circles under his eyes.

"So do you" He made a reciprocal move with his thumb on her cheekbone.

"Oi … that weren't very nice"

"Wasn't it? I was going to suggest you could do with an early night … that we both could, that's all … when's Bella back?"

"She's not … she's out tonight with her bloke …." Molly giggled at the expression on his face "Lucky she don't know you're 'ere innit? Else she'd be back like a rat up a drainpipe"

"Don't ….. please …. don't …" He raised his eyes in mock despair and pretended to shudder "Remind me again, why are we talking about Bella?"

"Dunno, it was you started talking about her, not me"

"Not any more I'm not"

-OG-

"Sorry … it's a bit of a tip"

Molly had forgotten about her bedroom, which was bad even for her. The room was a bit on the small side for the double bed, so there wasn't a lot of room for storing stuff and she tended to use the chair or the floor or even the banister rail on the landing to hang her stuff up. She'd never really noticed before just what a total bloody mess it was, but when she saw it through his eyes she couldn't miss it. She began to rush about bundling up the clothes that had somehow become a heap in the middle of her bed when she'd been looking for something that wasn't too tatty to wear, it was just fortunate that it was all clean. Well as far as she could remember it was even if she hadn't done the sniff test, as was the pile of discarded knickers and bras that seemed to have formed themselves into a tangled heap on the floor. Despite owning hardly any clothes, she'd somehow managed to turn the room into a total fucking shambles so that he was going to think she was a complete slob. Especially when she considered what his room was like.

"Sorry …"

She was desperately looking round for somewhere to put the stuff now she'd picked it up, it was one thing collecting it together but she'd got no idea where she was going to put it. He came fully into the room and stood in front of her then gently ran his hands up and down her arms and took the pile of clothes out of her unresisting grasp, carefully adding them to the overflowing pile already on the chair.

"Hey … stop it … stop worrying about it, it couldn't matter less"

"Yeah … it does … you're a neat freak"

"And you're not …. so what? It doesn't matter, it's not important"

He cradled her head in his hands and slid his lips across hers as if it was the most natural, obvious thing on earth as their mouths moved against each other.

"I've been wanting to do that all day"

"'ave you? You bloody 'id it well then didn't you?"

"I'm good at hiding things"

"Yeah … I no'iced"

He feathered his fingers down her neck before moving his hand and tangling it into her hair, then kissed her hard as though he couldn't get enough of her.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you to all the people who are still following this and for all your lovely comments/reviews … there is still a still a little way to go before they get there …**_


	19. Chapter 19

"Right … so …. let me see now, where would be a good place to start?"

Charles shrugged, knowing he was being as unco-operative as Sammie at his worst, but there was something about the way the man spoke to him that made his hackles rise, he felt like a cat being stroked the wrong way and needed to defray the irritation. Not for the first time he wondered whether it would be better to tell Beck that he wanted to see someone else, to have a change of counsellor, except that he couldn't actually swear it would make a scrap of difference to the outcome. There was a nasty feeling in his guts that he was the one out of step.

"Okay …." Daniel had begun to play with his pen "How well do you think you coped with your anxiety after the incident on the bridge …"

"What? Christ … that was fucking years back … how the hell do you expect me to remember how I felt? I don't remember being particularly anxious if that's what you're suggesting"

"Really? …. I find that hard to believe … you came very close to losing your life on that bridge Charles, so yes … it would be only natural to feel some anxiety and to remember now how you felt once everything had supposedly gone back to normal … are you saying you felt nothing at all about the possible dangers? That would show an absence of insight on your part that I simply don't believe"

"I was …. a bit anxious I suppose …." He ran his hands over the back of his neck and then leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees to look down at the floor "I was more _aware ….._ I suppose I became very conscious of just how quickly things can go to shit"

-OG-

Chapter 19

He opened his mouth and teased at her lips with the tip of his tongue, he was begging her silently to open hers and making her moan softly, a sound that went straight to his groin.

"Hey …."

"Hey to you 'n all ….."

Molly ran her hands over the blue shirt that had been his present from Sam, there was something really lovely about the way he'd obviously washed and ironed it in time to wear it to please his little boy, something that made a total rickets out of all of his ' _I don't do emotion'_ bollocks. But although the shirt might suit him, well it did, it really, really suited him, she still couldn't help hating that someone, his bloody ex or even worse, his fucking mother, had picked it out because they knew it would look good on him. Sam was too young for sensible present buying so it obviously hadn't been his idea, but in their house he'd have given his dad something he'd made at school. She just hated that she had no right to mind.

Molly arched into him and looped her arms round his neck to stroke her fingers through the curls at the back of his head until he angled it towards her hand.

"You can go first if you want … its the yellow one …" She giggled "Your turn for someone else's germs"

"Lovely …..right …. thanks … " He moved his head away from her hand and looked at her with his eyes narrowed "Just don't go anywhere … okay? …. stay right where you are … I won't be long"

Molly was actually quite keen for him to bugger off for a bit so she could sort herself out. It seemed like a bloody lifetime since the morning and she couldn't exactly remember but had this nasty feeling that she'd got on one of her manky greying pairs of knickers, one that had gone through the wash too many times and that her bra was probably even worse. But she hadn't expected anyone else to see them. She never gave a thought to all that stuff Nan spouted about being careful in case of getting run over by a bus, she knew that if you were unlucky enough to end up in A&E the staff wouldn't give a shit about your knickers. Top of Molly's wish list was that one day she'd have enough money to go to Marks and buy a whole load of new stuff, all of it, knickers and bras, and then she could bin all the ones she already had.

And she hadn't had a razor anywhere near her armpits or her legs or anywhere else for that matter since Boxing Day so fuck knows how hairy she was, although there wouldn't be much she could do about it even if she was like a gorilla. It was one of those times when she wished she was one of those girls who were always waxed and smooth and hairless. And she wanted him out the way so she could go through the stuff on the chair and see whether she could find her shorts and red top because the rest of her pyjamas were only fit for bloody dusters. Just for a minute she couldn't help thinking about Donna, which was something she tried really hard not to do anymore. She didn't care about her and him, she was welcome to him with knobs on even if he obviously still thought it was okay to come round to hers and ask her to go for a fucking drink with him. And then what? He didn't seem to get it that everything had changed, that he was married to her, bloody Donna, and that Molly would rather be sad and single than go anywhere near him again. But she was jealous that Donna had been able to buy a whole load of stuff for her honeymoon and bring into work to show off to everyone. It had been just the sort of stuff that Molly would have cut off her right arm to be able to afford, and she'd had to grit her teeth and pretend it didn't matter.

"It's all yours …"

"Sorry … what?"

"Bathroom?"

"Oh … right … yeah … ta…"

He'd been watching for a few seconds as she sat waiting for him to finish in the bathroom and once again it crossed his mind just how incredibly fucking young she looked. And how pretty she was in those shorts and that red thing with her shiny hair tumbling over her shoulders and down her back. And how she was fucking miles away. She had her hands tucked underneath her with her legs stuck out in front and was apparently so lost in whatever it was she was thinking about that she seemed totally unaware of him even being there. Charles shook his head. Whenever he was away from her he found it relatively easy, or easier, to persuade himself that she was completely out of bounds and to remind himself that he was the one who'd put her there. And for very good reasons. She deserved someone whose life hadn't gone seriously to shit, someone who was young like her and who wanted nothing more than to make her happy. And that wasn't him. But as soon as he spent any time at all with her, all those doubts became distant memories so that it became all he wanted, he wanted her to be happy and he wanted it to be him that made her happy. He wanted it in a way that he couldn't explain even to himself. She was like a drug.

"Hey …"

There was a careful non-committal smile on his face as he pulled her to her feet and she put her head on one side to look up at him.

"Sorry …"

"What are you sorry for? …" He was still holding her hands and gave them a little shake.

"I never 'eard you come back … I was thinkin'"

"That sounds dangerous …. what were you thinking about?"

"Nothin' really … just … well … these are not very sexy … are they?" She giggled and indicated her shorts and he knew immediately that it was a lie, and that whatever she'd been thinking about, it wasn't that "I'm not used to 'aving anyone 'ere"

"Good … bloody glad to hear it … and you're gorgeous …"

"Nah I'm not ….…. but thank you …. I mean even if you're just sayin' it … thanks anyway"

"Molly …. listen to me ….…" He shook his head slowly "I've never lied to you and I promise I'm not going to start now …. Okay? so if I say you're gorgeous, you are …. now go on … bathroom … piss off"

"Okay …."

She wanted to giggle at him telling her to piss off out of her own bedroom, a mixture of knowing she should think he'd got a bloody cheek and being embarrassed because she knew that whatever he said it was just that he was being nice. The stuff she had on wasn't in any way, shape or form sexy, but she couldn't just walk about in nothing at all or in her one and only sexy bra and knickers just in case one of the boys got up. But what he'd said and the look on his face when he'd said it made her forget that she looked fairly shit and filled her instead with all these lovely warm feelings in her stomach.

"Go on then … hurry up …. I'm serious, what are you waiting for? …. chop, chop … and don't be long in there" He jerked his head in the direction of the door, his voice full of amusement as he tucked his tongue behind his front teeth, and then burst out laughing at the exaggerated way she was swinging her hips as she walked slowly away. He turned his head and looked at the bed "Which?"

"What?" Molly stopped moving and looked back over her shoulder "Which what … what you talking about?"

"Which side of the bed do you normally sleep … which is your side?"

"I dunno …. middle I s'pose?"

"Might have guessed"

His raised eyebrows and eye roll meant Molly didn't know whether he'd even meant it as a serious question but she was far too distracted to think about it as he undid the top button of his jeans. It made her stop pretending she was on her way to the bathroom and stood still to watch, all thoughts of teeth forgotten in favour of the urge to help him undo the rest.

-OG-

Her mouth was full of paste as she looked at herself in the mirror and leaned over to spit into the basin before she straightened up and looked at herself again, wiping away a small dribble of foamy white from the corner of her mouth. The evening had been fun, she'd really enjoyed it, well she had once they'd got rid of the boys and they'd curled up on the sofa together and talked about just about everything. They'd said all about their favourite films and what ones they'd seen that they hated and they'd laughed and told each other about things that really pissed them off. Charles had told her just how much he missed having Elvis to talk to, how they'd always been on the same wavelength, well most of the time anyway although Elvis had put it about a bit, was apparently a bit of a tart, and she'd admitted how much she missed having Donna as a best mate even though she hated her now and couldn't stop looking back and wondering how she could ever have trusted her the way she had. But Molly still wasn't sure what was happening with her and Charles. They were friends, she knew that much, he liked her, he seemed to like her a lot, he liked spending time with her and enjoyed teasing her, laughing with her and at her, and he wanted to sleep with her, but whether that was as a so-called friend with benefits, or a fuck buddy as the girls at work called it, she didn't know. All she did know was that she really, really liked him, that she was beginning to get a little bit too _fond_ of him. There was no question she was going to sleep with him, she wanted to so she was going to, but if she wasn't careful she was going to end up in bits again. It was going to be bloody Tone all over again, albeit with no Donna this time, not as far as she knew anyway, but that didn't mean it wasn't going to hurt.

"Thought you'd got lost"

He was propped up in the middle of her bed with his arms folded behind his head and this wide grin plastered all over his face. There could be no mistake about how happy he was to see her, as he lifted up one side of the duvet for her to slide into bed next to him.

"Sorry … 'ere … I just thought … you know …"

She pushed a small supermarket bag in his direction and hoped the light wasn't bright enough for him to see that she was blushing, although why the fuck she should be embarrassed she'd got no idea. It was no different from him buying them and if it had been him they'd think nothing of it, they weren't kids for fuck sake, they were adults who'd already slept together, so why should her buying condoms suddenly be mortifying? But for some reason it was as if she was taking something, or someone, for granted.

"I thought for a minute there you were going to say that you saw them and thought of me …"

"You should be so bloody lucky …." Molly giggled and bit her lip but knew her face was still hot and her cheeks were still fiery red "Bloody funny man ….. fucking hilarious"

"Nope … it's not … I'm just grateful one of us is sensible"

If there was one word that Molly hated it was that word. _Sensible._ She knew it was what people said about her, but it wasn't like she had a choice because she couldn't afford to be anything else. Not when people relied on her to keep the roof over their head and food on the table and not when the one thing that scared her rigid was the thought of ending up like her mum. And it could easy happen. She'd asked at work and had been told there was more than an outside chance of it running in the family, not hereditary or anything, but something called familial, so if she had kids she could well end up struggling like her mum. And she couldn't risk that, not when she had to look out for Martin, his life had already gone down the shitter once and she, for one, wasn't going to let it happen again. She had to work and she couldn't do that if she fell apart and then there was Bella to think about as well. It was one of the things Tony had thrown at her when he'd been trying to hurt her. He'd known how she'd feel if he said she didn't know how to be _fun,_ and he'd then come out with all that bollocks about 2.4 kids when he bloody knew as well as she did that she wasn't going to have any. Ever.

"Did you enjoy today?"

"Yeah … apart from Weston was a bit shit…" Molly giggled "Thought it was s'posed to be the bloody seaside, wasn't that what you said? I didn't see the sea … what they done with it?"

"It was there … and we'll go back in the summer when the sun's out and the tide's in and its lovely and warm and you can swim … even though it's a bloody long walk before it's deep enough"

"What do you mean _we_? …. And …. can't really swim …well, not properly, can if I keep one foot on the floor …."

"What do you think I mean? … I mean you and me … unless you're sick of me by then …. which is highly possible … Oh and keeping one foot on the floor is not swimming …. I'll teach you …"

"I'm not very keen on wa'er … and I'm not gonna be sick of you … I'm … I'm … really … _fond_ … of you"

"I know … Ditto …"

"Ditto? … What does that even mean?"

"It means …. ummm, it means that …. I'm ….. incredibly _fond_ of you as well …"

He brushed the hair from her shoulder and kissed her neck, and she could see how dilated his pupils were before his lashes swept down to hide the look in his eyes and Molly realised she was holding her breath. Once again she felt like she had too much air in her lungs so that she wasn't sure she could remember how to breathe properly and closed her own eyes to let his touch consume her.

Then his breath was warm on her lips, his mouth barely touching hers as she found herself rising to it, inviting him for more as their limbs tangled and the kisses became more urgent, and their hands tangled in each other's hair. Molly wrapped her legs round his hips and feathered her hands down his spine as his hips began to gyrate and she grabbed his arse, digging in and pulling him towards her and then ran her hands down from his chest and along his abdomen. Her fingers trailed along the waistband of his soft black boxers which were straining to contain his erection before she slid them down and ran her hand between his thighs. Everything washed out of his mind except the waves of lust that were pulsing through his body as her palms softly stroked him and she ran her thumb over him to spread the beads of moisture that had collected.

He put his hands down and slipped the straps of her red top down her arms then got hold of the hem and pulled it down so that it pooled at her waist and they pressed together. The sensation of their naked chests against each other made them both frantic as he slipped her shorts off and stopped kissing her long enough for their eyes to meet.

"Does this bed creak?"

"Dunno … not sure …"

And then he was running his hands over her, his lips following, kissing and teasing as he moved down creating a trail of desire, peppering her body with hot little kisses, then lingering on her nipples until he was driving her crazy with a need for him that brought her close to unravelling completely.

"I want you …"

"I know you do …."

"Well stop messin' then …"

His chuckle was throaty as he ripped open the foil packet and moved to settle between her legs and she curled them round his hips, literally aching with a need for him that meant she no longer gave a single shit whether the bed creaked or not. If it did, they'd simply get out and lie on the floor or go downstairs or something, because right at that moment all that mattered was that there was a desperate pause when he pressed himself against her waiting for her body to accept him.

She moaned against his lips as the waves of pleasure hit her, her hips rising as her back arched, the sensation radiating from deep inside until it spread over her entire body and she clung to him, her hands shaking as his name escaped from her mouth. As the intensity of her orgasm slowly faded away he let out a deep moan and held his breath and then went rigid before exhaling loudly and collapsing on top of her, spent, his head dropping onto her shoulder. She could feel the way his heart was racing as he struggled to get his breath back and she opened her eyes to stare up at him. She badly wanted him to look at her so that she could see the expression in his eyes, she desperately wanted to know if he felt the same emotional connection as she did or if it had been purely physical for him.

She closed her eyes as tears started to prick at them, she'd got no idea why she wanted to cry but concentrated on willing them to go away before they spilled over and Charles saw them. There was being vulnerable and there was letting someone see that they could well tear your heart out.

-OG-

"Molly …. Clark Kent is waiting for you with his army gear on ... here, you get yourself out there before I have to get me scissors …" Tess smiled at the patient who was lying waiting for Molly to finish sorting her out "Go on …"

"What you on about?"

"Your bloke …. He's out there with _her …_ and if she doesn't stop flicking her hair about I'm going to get my scissors and cut it off for her"

"What you talking about?"

"Your bloke … tall … dark … pretty … Clark Kent … dressed as Action Man….."

"He's not …. It's not a costume … it's his job … it's what he does" Molly giggled and decided not to try and explain that he wasn't exactly hers "What's he doing 'ere?"

"I don't know .. I didn't ask …. he just asked if you were about and then she pitched up …. so go on, get yourself out there .." Tess smiled at the patient and picked up her chart from the bed table "Sorry, we're being very rude talking across you like that" Tess looked back at Molly who was hovering by the side of the bed knowing that she shouldn't really leave the patient even with Tess "I said go and rescue him, we'll manage perfectly well here"

He looked tall and so bloody drop dead gorgeous that as usual the sight of him made her breath hitch in her throat. He had the healthy glow of someone who'd been outside most of the day and in comparison Molly felt all pale and pasty looking and as though she could do with some sleep and a walk in the fresh air. And he was, as Tess had said, talking to Donna who'd been at the fake tan or the sunbed or some such shit and Molly would have liked to think she looked bloody orange, but it wouldn't be true. He was paying close attention to whatever she was saying as she waved her arms about being all animated, and again as Tess had said, flicked her bloody hair about. Her shift was obviously done so she was all ready to get off home and Molly wanted to tell her that she could piss off right now, that there was no need for her to hang about. But actually there definitely was no need. As soon as he caught sight of her in the doorway he nodded at Donna and walked away, his face lighting up with a smile as he put his hand out to touch her but hastily stopped when he saw the expression on her face and the way her eyebrows shot up. Public displays of affection weren't exactly encouraged on the Unit, in fact they were definitely against all the rules no matter who it was doing them. Molly would have been in for the bollocking to end all bollockings from Infection Control if anyone had seen him touch her, and Donna was watching.

"'ello … what you doing 'ere?"

"Lovely … came to see you … does that mean you're not pleased to see me?"

"Course I am …. just wondering why you're 'ere, that's all"

"I wanted to see what time you finish tomorrow so I can make an appointment for us to see a house …"

"Us?"

"Yep … us … you ….." He waved his hand between them to indicate that he was talking about her and then himself "And me … I thought you'd like to see it before I put any money down … you might hate it"

"'ang on, 'ang on … what does it ma'er whether I like it? It's you what's gonna live there … not me"

"Well … I thought maybe in time … well if you do decide to live there …" He put his head on one side and smirked "It's not far from here and it's big enough for all of us …. you… and me …. and Martin … and Sammie… well, whenever Rebecca plays ball ... so hopefully Sammie some of the time and I know it's a long way from a done deal and that it's not going to happen anytime soon … but there's no harm in looking …. or being … ready … is there?"

"What about Bella?"

"Oh … and Bella … of course … Bella " He raised his eyebrows and snorted with laughter "Fuck …how could I possibly forget Bella?"

"Bloody difficult …. But … this is all a bit previous innit?"

-OG-

She'd been curled up fast asleep by the time he'd got back from dealing with the condom and he'd been very careful not to wake her as he'd slipped into the warmth of the bed next to her. Her soft naked body curled against him and he'd put her arm round her to make her cuddle closer in her sleep and had begun trying to think about living without her in his life. Ever since Rebecca it hadn't been his thing to actually sleep with someone, he liked his own space, he liked to spread out in bed, but Boxing Day and then this suddenly felt so right that it made him feel vulnerable and he didn't want to face the things that he'd long ago decided to ignore. He didn't want to think about what he should do, he wanted to concentrate on the way her skin felt against his and how warm and supple she was against his naked body, and began to wonder instead how long he could hold out before he gave in and woke her up. He kept thinking about what Daniel had said about her caring enough to want him to get the help he needed and then began remembering how it felt when she'd run her fingertips over his scars and told him he should be proud of them, that they showed he was a survivor.

"Sorry …. Did I drop off?"

"Yup" He kissed the top of her head where it was nestled against his shoulder "And I'm sorry if I woke you"

"It's okay … what time is it anyway?"

"Early …. late … depends how you look at it …" Charles chuckled then relented "Just after 5"

"You're up early"

"Yup …" He laughed and pulled her against him so that she could feel how hard he was "So are you …"

"You woke me up … Look ….. you be'er go in Bella's … before Sam gets up and finds you 'ere"

"What? You are joking? … 'fraid I'm not going anywhere"

"Charles …. If he catches you in 'ere with me he'll tell his mum …. Or yours"

"I couldn't give a shit …. Now stop talking and …" He laughed softly to take the sting out of the words "Say good morning nicely"

"Mornin' ….. nicely" Molly giggled as he bundled her hair out of the way and began to kiss her neck.

"That wasn't exactly what I had in mind…"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Another really long chapter which I hope you enjoyed… you know me, I keep getting carried away and don't know when to stop … thank you so much to everyone who is still following this and for all the lovely reviews and feedback, it's what keeps me going x**_


	20. Chapter 20

"Fair enough" Daniel looked at him steadily for a moment and then raised his eyebrows "So … looking back at that time now, what do you think you found …. useful … what helped you to cope when you were feeling anxious?"

"I'm not sure what you're talking about …." Charles paused hoping for a brainwave or for Daniel to say something else. He wanted to carefully weigh up what to say before he said anything at all and for that he needed time and space, because it seemed inevitable that whatever he did say Daniel would pounce and probe and question and analyse. Eventually however the ongoing silence became uncomfortable enough for him to feel forced to say something, albeit with reluctance.

"What exactly do you mean?" He stroked his hand over his hair "I don't know what it is you want me to say Daniel … surely I did what everyone does, I got on with it"

Charles couldn't see why Daniel still seemed to be labouring under some sort of misapprehension, he seemed to be expecting him to spill his guts when nothing had changed, he was still the same Charles James he'd always been. Surely Daniel had to have known by now that it went against everything he believed in. None of it came easily to him.

"It isn't a question of what _**I**_ want, Charles … _**I**_ don't _want_ you to say anything" Daniel took off his glasses and began to go through the usual irritating ritual of cleaning the lenses then holding them up to the light to squint through them "This is not about me or ….. about what makes me feel better …. this is about what _you_ think and feel …. and …" He paused and seemed to take time to think about what he wanted to say next "Look, Charles, I know we've touched on this before, but it would be an enormous help if you could try and stop seeing me as the enemy …."

"Right …"

"You still seem to have …. difficulty accepting that I'm trying to help you here …."

"Right …"

The tiny, almost imperceptible shrug of his shoulders that accompanied the word didn't alter anything, he was lying and knew with absolute certainty that Daniel would know a lie when he heard one. But the ingrained reluctance he had to bear his soul and start bleating about emotional issues was undiminished, the feelings deep in his guts made it impossible. He couldn't just parade his emotions for Daniel's benefit when he'd been doing everything he could to keep them under strict control for what felt like most of his adult life. The only person he'd shared any of it at all with was Molly, and for some reason he'd found himself talking to her about the pain that still lingered. It wasn't physical pain, although there were times when it felt so raw it might as well have been, but they'd been lying in the dark where she couldn't see his face, with her warm body wrapped round him and her arms holding him tight as she'd hugged him in silent sympathy.

"Okay … you need to start by being honest with yourself as well as with me … that's if you're going to get everything under control, get back to the way you want to be …"

Daniel leaned back in his chair and peered at Charles over the top of his glasses, he was uncomfortably aware that he was beginning to run out of options. He'd tried needling him, without any success and was now starting to feel an uncomfortable degree of frustration at their lack of any progress and at his own inability to get beyond the impenetrable brick wall that was Charles James' stubborn determination. It was getting increasingly hard for him not to let some of that irritation show. But he couldn't be seen to be passing judgement, not even in an attempt to dent the intransigence of the man in front of him. It was against the rules which governed what he did and was against his professional pride, in fact it was against everything he believed in but Charles seemed determined to keep all his barriers firmly in place.

"It might be a good moment for us to take a step back … and for you to perhaps tell me what you think would be…. helpful"

"Have you got a Tardis?"

Charles heard the echo of Molly's tear-filled voice when she'd told him about her mother and about Martin and had insisted it was the only thing that could make everything better. He remembered just how helpless he'd felt at what she'd said.

"Unfortunately not …." Daniel laughed, somewhat surprised at what he thought had been Charles attempting to crack a joke "Must admit there have been times in the past when I've thought one would be extremely useful …. But … what we can do is go back and look at the coping strategies you employed that helped after the incident on the bridge …."

He watched as Charles instantly withdrew behind the brick wall of his habitual mask and wanted to kick himself for using what amounted to therapy speak again. It was a bad habit he'd got into, one that he had to keep reminding himself he should guard against.

"Did you talk to anybody at the time, at the QE or at Headley maybe?"

"Nope … didn't feel I needed to"

"Pity …." Daniel picked up his pen and began to twirl it round between his fingers "Must admit I'm somewhat surprised … did no-one suggest it might be a helpful thing for you to do?"

"Yup …. But as I said, not necessary"

"Okay …."

Daniel could see Charles was making a huge effort to conceal the depth of his irritation. His eyes were focussed on Daniel's hands so he was obviously as irritated with the way he was fiddling as he was by the words, but his voice was steady and controlled and calmly reflective, very much in control as the stern Captain James. Even though his hands were balled into fists in a way that Daniel hadn't seen for quite some time.

"Why does it make you feel uncomfortable?"

"Why does _what_ make me uncomfortable?"

"Talking about your recovery from what were, I believe, life threatening injuries … talking about it seems to be making you … angry"

"It doesn't …I'm not angry" There was another long silence as Daniel sat very still and watched Charles struggle to relax the evident tension that was in his shoulders and hands "Surely it wasn't fucking unreasonable for me to want to do everything I could to make sure I kept the people in my charge … _safe_ ….?"

"I'm not suggesting it was"

"What are you suggesting then?"

"That … the injuries you had were very serious … life threatening …. so it would hardly be surprising if the on-going _responsibility_ … sometimes felt like an intolerable burden"

-OG-

Chapter 20

"Hello …"

"Hey … okay?"

"Yeah …why wouldn't I be?"

"Busy morning?"

"Okay … not too bad … same as usual"

She hadn't got a clue what to say. When she'd been walking across the car park to where he was standing waiting by his car she'd been rehearsing, or trying to, had been looking at him and running the words through her head, but now that he leaned forward and pecked her on her cheek her mind went a complete blank. She'd spent all morning wishing the time away so that she could see him, and putting up with Tess making comments about him being Clark Kent, but at the same time she'd been telling herself to just ring and cancel, that it would be easy to tell him over the phone that she couldn't swap shifts after all and had to work. There was this little voice in her head telling her she should never have agreed to it in the first place, that it wasn't the right thing to be doing but the more she put it off the harder it seemed to get, until it was too late to cancel and even if she did she knew he'd just make another appointment. He'd said he didn't want her to move in with him, he'd made that quite plain, so she had no bloody idea what he was expecting. He hadn't said anything about changing his mind. And just because she fancied him and really, really liked him a lot, a hell of a lot, and couldn't stop thinking about him, didn't mean she knew him, and she definitely didn't know him well enough to have some stupid brain freeze moment. Anyway she couldn't even if she wanted to. Not with Martin.

Charles stood with his hands in his pockets rocking back on his heels and looking up doubtfully at the grubby white rendered façade of the house and at the sad looking overgrown shrubs in the flower beds under the windows that were full of bits of litter blown there off the street.

"Looks a bit … ummmm …" He scratched the back of his neck as he tried to find something to say about the gloomy looking building with its myriad Estate Agents boards lying seemingly abandoned in the front garden and its brick paved driveway with the grass and weeds growing through the cracks "Looks a bit like … I don't know … a bit run down I suppose … a care home or something … still … its handily placed for the pub and … its good to see there's plenty of parking" He threw his head back and laughed out loud "Come in handy if I decide to take in lodgers …."

"Looks like it could be 'aunted …sorry …" Molly couldn't help the fit of giggles overtaking her even though she was faintly appalled by the outside, at how run down and gloomy it was. If it was down to her she'd give up and go for a drink in the pub that was next door but one "Looks like it might be gonna 'ave a stair lift …"

"Useful when you come home pissed …"

"What is … a ghost?"

"Indeed"

He snorted a laugh and took hold of her hand as the agent who looked about twelve to Molly, came bustling up with an-over-the top smile chatting nineteen to the dozen about the weather as soon as he got close. It was as if he was trying to distract their attention from the look of the place. Charles kept hold of her hand as they trailed in after him still laughing and then followed him round as he did his best to persuade them that it wasn't actually a chilly, gloomy barn of a place and that he wasn't having all sorts of trouble finding a tenant. As far as Molly was concerned the hardest part was that she could actually see just how lovely it would be to live somewhere like it, that despite being empty and echoey and unfurnished with lots of gloomy dark corners, where she wouldn't mind betting there were spiders lurking, the rooms were big with high ceilings that only needed decent light bulbs. And it had these wooden floors, even if they were all scuffed and dingy. Gavin kept up a constant barrage of promises that everything would be sorted and pristine before they moved in and that even the garden would be sorted so that Molly wanted to yell at him to shut up being so previous, that he was getting on her nerves but she could see Charles didn't actually seem to be listening to a single word he said. He was far more interested in looking at the fireplaces and she could see just by looking at him that he'd totally fallen in love with the place, even if it was ridiculously bloody big for one bloke to live in part time with one little kid stopping for the occasional weekend. It wasn't even that he'd be living there all the time, he had all these bedrooms to pick from when it was probably going to be too far to commute so he'd be in barracks during the week. And even though she'd maybe stop over sometimes, well, when she could, always supposing that he wanted her to, it was completely totally out of the question for her to live there with him. She didn't know what rent they were charging, she didn't need to ask because not even in her wildest dreams could she afford to live there, she could see that just by looking and the rent on her place was hard enough to find as it was.

"You alright?" His voice was gruff with concern as he gave her shoulder a little shake, she was miles away, thinking, but somehow he seemed to know that she didn't know what to say. They'd walked back to his car in silence.

"What did you think?"

"No stair lift …." Molly did her best to force a laugh, or to make him laugh, she wasn't sure which as she wracked her brains and tried to think of something to say "He never said if it was 'aunted neither"

"There is that …" Charles laughed and looked at her steadily then raised his eyebrows and bit at his lip "Come on, did you like it?"

"Yeah …. I dunno …. did you?"

"Molly …" He shook his head "Of course I did … are you saying that you didn't?"

"Nah … well … yeah …. I dunno, do I? I'm not sure … it's a bit on the big side innit?"

"Yup …"

"And it don't really matter what I think, you know I can't live there don't you?"

"Wait till you're asked …." Charles caught sight of the crestfallen look that washed over her face "Sorry, that was supposed to be a joke … pretty shit one … sorry ….. look… of course it matters what you think … I wouldn't ask if it didn't and I'm not absolutely sure about it myself, I might have to look around a bit more … find something else"

"Yeah … probably best …"

"Shame though" He shook his head and bit his lip again then leaned forward and put the key in the ignition "Are you going to tell me what was wrong with it …?"

"I said … it's too big … 'n … costs a bleeding fortune … I mean … how much does it cost anyway?"

"Why?"

"Why do you think? Bloody sure it costs more than mine and its 'ard enough paying that sometimes ….and before you say anything, I always pay me way …."

"It doesn't matter does it if it's not the right one?" Charles shook his head, he had never really thought about the issue before, all the women of his acquaintance had just accepted that he was picking up the bill. Rebecca had always taken it as her right.

"I can't just do what I want, Charles … this …" Molly waved her arm in front of her indicating them sitting side by side in the front of his car outside the grim grey blocks at the back of the hospital "Is all a bit … I'm sorry … I've got no bloody clue what it is you want"

"Me neither …."Charles ran his hand over his hair before looking across at her again "I know you don't want to live with me, that you need time to trust me and I know that you're right, but when I look at you …. I just want you to be happy … I want to make sure that you're safe …. and I don't want your money"

"I can't live rent free …. Not anywhere …. and I'm okay as I am…"

"I know" He shook his head and fastened his seatbelt, then gestured towards her with his head indicating that she should do the same thing.

"Sometimes it just feels … wrong … like I've woke up in someone else's life, not mine … mine wasn't s'posed to be like this" Molly shrugged "I know that the day when you rescued me … well …that day … me whole fucking life was a shitstorm … 'n then you … well you come along and made it better, and even work is better now I'm not Donna's sidekick anymore, the other girls are much nicer to me these days …. And I do like you a hell of a lot …"

"What happened to being very fond of me?"

"Yeah, that 'n all …."

"Come on" Charles laughed at the intensely worried expression on her face "Why don't you tell me why can't you do what you want to do? Or is that just a nice way of telling me you want me to piss off?"

"Nah …course not, but … I can't ….. I really can't, don't matter what I want I 'ave to get the social to okay it …. If I wanna move … or anything … cos of Mar'in … so its not you …. honestly"

"Okay … Molly … I've got no bloody idea what you're talking about … what have Social Services got to do with anything … why do they have to approve … what happened?" Charles put out his hand and stroked her hair away from her face with his thumb. He could vaguely remember her telling him something about her mother being ill the first time they'd been out together, she'd said something about her depression meaning Martin was living with her and Bella, but the details were more than a bit sketchy. He wasn't sure now what she'd actually said.

"There was some … trouble ….. couple of years back now and the Nursery …. they called him neglected … but it wasn't mum's fault, she was ill … she couldn't 'elp it …" Charles could hear her voice had begun to thicken with tears "It was my fault"

"How could it be your fault?" He wanted to put his arms round her but she had this distinct aura of defensive prickles around her "Hey, don't cry"

"I'm not …. but I knew …. she … was same as always I s'pose …. I mean she always struggled and then every time she got a bit better she'd 'ave another one and Dad was no bleeding help … and Mar'in …. he's the youngest and I dunno, it seemed like she give up … they said he wasn't even clean and he used to wet his bed so he was … anyway I was so bloody busy doing what I wanted … never even went home every time I got a day off like I should of done, but I didn't know how bad it was and then …. when the shit hit the fan, they put 'im in this temporary foster home and he hated it … hated them, was scared about them being strangers … you know what he's like" Molly dashed away the tears that had begun to spill over and dribble down her face "The only way they'd let me 'ave him … well, me and Bella … was what they call kinship or something … it was either that or he'd be fostered out to a more settled …." Molly gulped and started rooting through her pockets looking for a tissue before she gave up and sniffed loudly "But he's family inne? And they wouldn't let me Nan 'ave him …. they just said she'd got enough on her plate with the others …. at 'er age 'n that"

"Lovely … I'll bet that went down well with your Nan"

"Yeah ….…. but it means I have to do what they sodding well tell me"

"What did you want to do ….?"

"Dunno …. Yeah I do, nothing different really …I'd still be a nurse … I never wanted to do anything else but I sort of thought I'd be free to choose … and I thought I was gonna get mar…. well that don't matter now, does it? All went Pete Tong anyway"

"Do you still miss him?"

"Who .. Tony? … Nah … well, I'd still like to take his guts out with me eyebrow tweezers if I could …. but nah, I don't miss 'im the way you mean"

"Do you regret the rest of it?"

"What?" Molly looked at him "Mar'in? Course I do … well not Mar'in exactly … well, maybe I do a bit …. sometimes … I mean I love him to bits 'n wouldn't change him for anything … and Bella 'n all, but there are times when I wanna scream …."

"Sorry of course you do, that was a very stupid question … is there anything I can do to help?"

"Nah … you're alright … you can't always rescue me"

"Are you sure?"

"Only if you got a Tardis …"

Molly was doing did her best to stop bawling. She was annoyed with herself for the way her voice was all clogged with the tears that she usually managed to keep under control. She was deeply ashamed of the way she'd felt when that call from the Social had sent the life she'd been planning straight down the toilet and of the amount of time she'd spent crying into her pillow and then again when the future she'd thought was hers with Tony had gone the same way.

"You are … you're bloody trying to rescue me again"

"Indeed … well …. I'll always try and be there when you need rescuing"

Charles wanted to say something to help, but was at a loss to know what he could say. He felt helpless.

"You know you got a bit of a rescuer complex don't you?" She reached across and touched his hand "But you can't … not always … 'n I know I mess up sometimes … but you can't save me from everything, sometimes I need to just get on and sort it meself …. 'n I'm a big girl now … still, it's what you do innit, rescue people?"

"If that's true .. and I'm not admitting anything … then I promise you that from now on I'll only rescue fucking awesome little girls called Molly…. and then only if they want me to rescue them"

"What's that on your chin?" She gulped and tried to laugh as she put her fingertips across to touch his face "Oh look it's bullshit …." She could hear the faint note of hurt in his voice and wished she'd been more careful about how she'd phrased what she'd wanted to say to him. She hadn't meant to make it sound as if she didn't like the way he'd looked out for her, she did, she loved the way it made her feel, but that didn't stop her needing him to know that she wasn't just some helpless little girl, but it was hard when the urge to look after people was part of him, it was his job, it was what he did "And who you calling little?"

"If the cap fits …." He appeared to be smirking as he looked away and started the car, although Molly wasn't convinced it was entirely genuine. She was horribly afraid that she'd hurt him "Right …. Let's crack on … go and find somewhere warm and we'll have a drink and I can ring Gavin and break his heart for him"

"We could go home to mine if you want … " She looked at her watch "No-one's there … school 'n that …. So … I mean …. if you want?"

"Lovely"

Charles knew he should be pleased and relieved that he hadn't had to backtrack at all on the issue of the house, about the stupid idea he'd had. But when he'd looked at the way her eyes had been filled with awe as they'd walked round the place and then the way they'd changed colour from green to a washy grey when they were awash with tears, he wasn't. Not one little bit. He'd spent most of the preceding twenty-four hours asking himself what the fuck he'd thought he was doing when he'd asked her if she wanted to move in with him, or at least to think about it, but now that she'd turned the idea down, all he could think of was how much he wanted her there. Something he'd describe as being bloody perverse if he was on the outside looking in at the clusterfuck someone else was creating, but despite everything it had felt right somehow.

-OG-

"Been thinking…"

"Shit … that sounds dangerous .."

"Won't tell you then"

Even standing behind her with his arms round her waist and watching her concentrate on trying not to make a mess of an omelette that appeared to be sticking to the pan without being anywhere near cooked, he could hear how tetchy he sounded. He knew she was right about the house, but he still felt a pang of regret of what might have been, of disappointment over the house issue, although not nearly as disappointed as Gavin had been when he saw his chance of commission vanishing.

"Don't worry about it"

"Don't worry about what? Don't even know what you're talkin' about"

Molly slapped the omelette on a plate with two slices of bread and butter giggling as she told him to make it into a sandwich as he looked at it without speaking and with his eyebrows raised.

"If you don't like my cooking … you can do it yourself"

"No … its lovely, truly magnificent … wonderful … best omelette I've ever seen … "

"Yeah alright … I know it prob'ly tastes better than it looks …. But never mind about that … I just thought …. If your mate Gavin finds you somewhere … what's gonna happen when you get back to doing your proper job, what if there's a war somewhere 'n you have to go off 'n be a soldier … what then?"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews and comments for the previous chapter, they are what keeps me going…. and I really hope that you enjoyed this one … even if they didn't quite get to moving in together**_


	21. Chapter 21

It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop. The only sound in the room was Charles' measured breathing and to Daniel it sounded as if he was making an effort to keep it all together as he sat motionless while he gazed steadily past Daniel's shoulder at the faded notices pinned to the cork noticeboard. Suddenly after what felt like forever Charles shifted uncomfortably on his chair and just for a moment looked Daniel full in the face, before he shifted his gaze to look down at the floor between his feet. But in that few seconds Daniel had seen enough. There had been just the faintest hint of something in his look that told Daniel he'd finally managed to strike a chord. He was on the point of giving up and had been trying to decide what his next question should be when his patience was finally rewarded and Charles filled the silence in a low, husky voice that was barely more than a mutter.

"It was ….tricky ….… difficult I suppose you'd call it ….… believe you me when I tell you that I found out the hard way just how unbelievably fucking easily it could all go to shit …. took a split second … and it was still my fucking job to get the balance right, up to me wasn't it …. my responsibility .. and never mind how much everything had changed ….…."

"What had changed?"

He ran a hand over his head "I used to like to think that I never took any unnecessary risks … that I was always as _careful_ as anyone could be, that I made sure as far as I could that other people were safe in my charge but that I wasn't being _over-cautious_ … it was my job to make absolutely bloody sure … but … it ….… that seemed … it was so much harder somehow … I still needed to be sure though…"

"Did you talk to anyone about it? Tell them how you felt?"

Even as he asked the question Daniel knew the answer. It was an absolute racing certainty that Charles James hadn't shared any of his concerns with anyone, he'd have seen it as a sign of his own weakness. Instead he'd have dealt with the inevitable worries and concerns that would have followed an incident like the one on the bridge by doing his best to bury them, he would have done everything he could to shut the legacy of anxiety out of his mind without seeking any sort of outside help at all. Daniel mentally shook his head. Charles would have swept it all under the rug and told himself that it was dealt with.

"Nope …. it wasn't that bad …. It was certainly never bad enough that I needed to …" He shrugged and knew instinctively what Daniel had been about to ask him "And before you ask…" He quirked one eyebrow and chewed at the corner of his lip "Nope …. especially not to him"

Daniel didn't try and pretend that he didn't know who or what Charles was talking about, or that he didn't care, he was more concerned with doing his best to try and make sure he kept Charles talking. He didn't want him to start to retreat behind his usual impenetrable mask.

"Was there a reason for that?"

"I don't know, I suppose I thought …." He lifted his head and narrowed his eyes before he resumed his unwavering stare at the wall and thought about it, then snorted a short mirthless laugh down his nose "He'd have pissed himself …" He looked at Daniel and lifted both eyebrows at the same time "And he certainly wouldn't have understood …. But then how could he when I wasn't even sure I understood myself? And he was always much more ….. Elvis was an adrenalin junkie …"

"You've said that before … also that he was one of your best friends …."

"Yup … he was indeed ….." There was another long pause as Charles thought about what he wanted to say "But that didn't mean we saw things the same way or that we confided in one another … we were very different people …"

"Looking back now … what are your thoughts about it?"

.

"I was so bloody tired … and even though I was exhausted I couldn't sleep properly … and whenever I did manage to get some rest I would wake up feeling …. powerless …" He shook his head "But I was the one who'd changed, me, no-one else, and I don't know even now whether I realised that at the time although I'm not sure it would have made any difference if I had" Charles shook his head again as though the memory exasperated him in some way and took a surreptitious glance at his watch although he had a pretty fair idea of how close it was to the time he could call it done for the day "I wouldn't have admitted I was in trouble, not even to myself let alone him or anyone else … all I did know was that I couldn't relax for a second … that it was vital for me to maintain control…" He ran a hand over the back of his neck before he looked up at Daniel again "I couldn't afford to let anything slip … and I couldn't allow anything to get in the way of that …"

"And now?"

"Now? … Everything has changed quite a lot for me in recent weeks … my life is very … _different_ these days _…_ takes some getting used to …"

For the first time since the session had begun, Daniel saw a genuine smile flit across the stern face of the man in front of him.

Chapter 21

He still had a bit of a puzzled look on his face as he shook his head and slapped the omelette between two slices of bread and made a very ragged looking sandwich which he began to eat as Molly thought how sorry she was that she'd even said anything. She had no idea why she did these things, but the thoughts had been there bubbling away in her head ever since the two of them had traipsed around that place after Gavin, but she'd be the first to admit that it was another of the things that really had got fuck all to do with her. She wasn't going to be living there after all, so what the hell was she getting all worked up about, it wasn't her problem.

Charles had started to pull strange faces in some misguided crap attempt to persuade her how over the moon ecstatic he was at the taste of his omelette which was making her giggle in spite of herself. It was a totally shit bit of playacting, and she found keeping a straight face got even harder when she was just a little bit late in pointing out that he was dripping melted butter all down himself.

"Shit"

Charles looked down at the greasy splatter on his combat top and down his thigh and began to rub at it, which made it a whole lot worse as Molly wet the corner of a tea towel for him and tried her best not to snigger. But there was something about watching what his hands were doing that made it almost bloody impossible for her to drag her attention away from the top of his leg. She couldn't help remembering just how lovely those legs were under the combats, all long and lean and muscular and how they had this faint dusting of dark hairs, except for where his trousers rubbed and had worn it away, when suddenly she realised that he was smirking at the way she was perving and that his eyebrows had shot up when he saw. She was immediately all hot and bothered and hastily started looking the other way and did her best to pretend she hadn't been thinking what he looked like when his clothes fell off, which they seemed to do quite often when she was around.

"Hey you …. come here" He pulled her into the circle of his arms "Is that it? Is that what you're worried about, that I'll be deployed and I'll forget all about paying the rent and you'll be stiffed for it?"

"Nah ….. course not …" Molly started chewing at her bottom lip and wondered how on earth she could tell him that that was exactly what was bothering her. Not that she was afraid he was going to turn into some sort of shit like Tony. She didn't think he'd deliberately go off and leave her to pay rent with money she hadn't got, she was pretty sure she knew him well enough to know he wouldn't do that, not on purpose. Charles was kind. But she'd seen the scars so knew it was bloody dangerous what he did, and she couldn't imagine what the fuck she'd do if anything happened to him. Not that she could say any of that, somehow telling someone you're a bit worried they might get themselves shot and killed because that would mean you'd have to pay the bloody rent was a bit shit by anyone's standards. And it obviously wasn't the only thing that bothered her, but if something like that did happen she couldn't see Caroline putting her hand in her pocket and helping her out. And her lot definitely couldn't so she'd be up shit-creek without a paddle.

"I dunno …. maybe … a little bit …"

"Hey … look, firstly _nothing_ is going to happen to me …"

"Don't say that, me Nan calls that famous last words, and anyhow I never said anything like that" Molly closed her eyes and then flicked them open again to look up at his face "Who said I was scared? Just wondering … that's all … "

"I'm glad someone thinks I'm going to get my job back … I'm not sure that I do … and I'm pretty sure it's not what Daniel thinks either"

"'ave you asked him?"

Molly gulped and raised her eyebrows at the sudden realisation of how much trouble she was in when she tried to imagine what it would feel like if he did get sent off to some bloody war somewhere. She hadn't known him five minutes but had the feeling it was something a bottle of wine or even a bucket of Vodka and a bit of a cry into her pillow wouldn't sort, she was absolutely certain that she'd far rather he stayed where he was safe even if he didn't love what he was doing. At least he wasn't going to get shot.

"Charles … if you don't ask then 'ow you gonna know what he thinks … otherwise it's just guessing innit?"

"Nope … Believe me I know what he's thinking"

Charles shrugged and moved to perch his backside on the edge of the worktop "Do you remember telling me that your life wasn't that great when we met?"

"It was a bloody shitstorm … but its better now …" Molly grinned her happiest toothy grin "It's not rubbish anymore…"

"Good …I'm glad to hear it" He put his arms round her waist and pulled her gently towards him until she was standing with her feet between his and he bent his head to kiss her, his breath warm and smelling faintly of omelette as he took her face in his hands and kissed her again "You do know that you weren't the only one don't you? That when I met you … my life was a fucking mess … you were the first person in a very long time who made me want to go on…"

"Did I?"

"Yup … and you made me laugh"

"That's nice" Molly giggled "'ere what you sayin'?" She had a sudden urge to try and turn it into a joke, it all suddenly felt horribly serious "You callin' me a clown?"

"Yup … and a very beautiful one … when I found you in trouble on that roadside I couldn't bloody think straight, I was miserable and rude and so impossibly fucking angry most of the time …"

"Were you? Never noticed …" She laughed softly "Oh yeah Mr Charm … I remember now"

"Lovely … harsh but accurate … I'll give you bloody Meghan Markle"

"Yeah well, ne'er mind about all that … it's alright, I forgive you"

"I was sick of everything till I met you" He stroked a stray curl back behind her ear "But then somehow the blackness lifted … and there you were … beautiful and funny and …. kind …. and … totally bloody awesome … I've never met anyone like you before and I've been fighting how I feel about you for weeks now" He slowly shook his head from side to side "I did hear what you said to me about not living together, I was listening, but I'm telling you now, I am not going to give up on _us_ "

" _Us?_ "

"Of course _us_ " He smiled "What time does Martin get home?"

"He goes to after-school club 'n then his little mate's mum will bring him back … why?"

"I was just wondering how much time I've got to start working on persuading you…"

"Persuading me to what?" Molly began to giggle "I can't move anywhere … but you know that" She put a hand up and touched his cheek almost as if she was apologising "You know, for the first time I can remember things have started to go a bit right for me and I'm really enjoying doing something I think I'm quite good at …. and …..I'm proud of what I do …"

"So you should be …"

"Yeah, but a lot of the way I feel about things now is down to knowing you and I don't want to lose you but … I really can't do what you want .."

"I know, because of Martin … but you know Molly we can get that sorted out … if you want to that is"

"Yeah … I do want … but … it's not only that … I mean there's other stuff … for starters I got a contract on this place 'n I'd still 'ave to pay even if I wasn't 'ere, can't pay two lots of rent can I?"

"You wouldn't have to" He stroked his thumb across her cheekbone "We can soon sort that out as well"

"Can tell you've never been skint …" Molly laughed, she knew he meant every word when he said how easy it all was because he'd always had enough money, but what he'd said was more proof if she needed it that they came from very different places "Can tell you've never 'ad to rob Pe'er to pay Paul" She shook her head "Or 'ad one of them QuickQuid loans"

"What? I've never heard of them so nope … I can honestly say I haven't … I've been lucky ….. what are you saying here, are you telling me that you have?"

"How do you think I paid for towing the bleeding car that time?"

"What? Christ Molly why the fuck did you do something like that?"

"Ummm let me 'ave a think now … I 'ad to pay you back and 'ad no money did I? .. why do you think?" She bit her lip, sorry now that she'd said anything when she registered the appalled expression on his face. She'd obviously taken another idiot pill meaning her brain hadn't caught up with her gob so her mouth had run away with her "I didn't know you then did I? And you was a bit narky"

"I seem to remember telling you there was no rush for fuck sake …. I'd never have wanted you to do anything like that …. Christ was I that much of a miserable old sod …?"

"Yeah … but it's alright, you're not now …."

"Good …" He gulped and raised his eyebrows in a question "I presume that's all dealt with now?" and then smiled as Molly nodded "Never again though alright?"

"Yes Boss, anything you bleeding say Boss"

"You know perfectly well I don't want to be your Boss" He caught his bottom lip with his teeth "I just want you to be happy and …. to ….make things better for you…" Charles took a deep breath and looked down at his hands as if he was about to say something that made him slightly uncomfortable "I love you"

"Do you? I mean …. you don't really know me …. I mean … not that well …."

"Of course I know you … I just didn't realise that thinking about someone all the time and worrying about them as well as finding it very hard to keep your hands off them means you love them …" He laughed softly "And I really do just want you to be happy … I told you, you're the most special person I've ever met …. and let me tell you, it's not your cooking I'm talking about"

"Cheeky sod …. if you wanna a cook then you need to go down the bleeding Job Centre I'm sure they'll 'ave some …. listen … I've been thinking …"

"Oh god …"

"Shut up 'n listen … I've got an idea …"

"Lovely … so have I …what time did you say Martin would be back?"

"I didn't … and I weren't thinking of that …"

-OG-

"You gonna do what?" Bella's face was a mask of horror as she put her hands on her hips and leaned closer to better screech in the direction of Molly's face "What the fuck are you bloody thinking?"

"Come on Bels, thought you liked 'im"

"Did you? Well yeah, he's alright I s'pose … but I don't like him that much … for fuck sake Mol, look around you ..….. " She waved her hand to indicate the drying rack in the middle of the sitting room that was festooned with an assortment of knickers and tights and at the pile of ironing on the chair and the towels drying on the radiators to the consistency of cardboard "I'm used to the place the way it is and we'd 'ave to sort it out, 'ave to … you know .. keep it more tidy, wouldn't we? I mean we couldn't just leave it like this … and we'd 'ave to get dressed properly … couldn't just ….." Bella indicated the gaping hole in the inside seam of one leg of her leggings and then waved a hand in the general direction of Molly who was not only bra-less under her West Ham top but was wearing very little else "Mind he'd probably like you like that … 'n we only got one bathroom … what about …. you know … 'aving a wee in the night? I'd 'ave to get dressed … Nah, not gonna 'appen" Bella shook her head vehemently.

"Since when do you get up for a wee in the night?"

"That's not the point …. I might …"

"Only when you're pissed and I can't see you worrying what you got on …."

"What about all that healthy shit 'e has for breakfast, bleeding poached eggs?" She pretended to gag "No more Coco-Pops"

"Who says? He only said one time to Nan that he liked poached eggs, he didn't say anything else … it's none of his bleeding business what we eat … anyway I never said he were moving in"

"Good as …." Bella narrowed her eyes as a thought struck her "'ang on is this about you and 'im not 'aving somewhere to shag now his mum's got the hump? It is innit? You sly cow …"

"Why don't you shout a bit louder Bel, don't think Mar'in quite 'eard you …." For a minute Molly thought about denying the accusation and then thought better of it. It would have been a complete waste of time anyway, the two of them had always had what amounted to radar for when the other was lying through her teeth "Yeah well alright might be a bit that … but it's got nothin' to do with his mum"

"Come on Mol, he's not our sort is he? I mean I know you like him, 'n that he's your whatsit, your rebound from the wank stain, but he's not one of us is he? I mean he's lovely 'n that, but …...… he's fucking posh … and …. he's too old for you inne? 'n what 'bout when you're not 'ere, when you're at work? What am I gonna do with 'im? He'll most likely want to watch all that shit about war on the tele … bet he don't watch 'Love Island' …."

"You'd better not even think about watching 'Love Island' 'ere on your own with him …"

"Might …. But he'll wanna watch documentaries about … I dunno …Titanic or something … that sort of thing"

"What you bleeding talking about?" The aggrieved tone of Bella's voice over Charles' potential choice of television viewing made Molly dissolve into a fit of helpless giggles "Why would he wanna watch cheerful shit like that? He's not like you think Bels, honest he's not … he's not old …. definitely not too old for me … anyway keep telling you, I never said he was moving in, did I? … cos he's NOT ….. okay?"

Molly was trying to think of the best way to explain what had seemed such a brilliant idea when she'd first thought of it but then that had been when she'd been almost dissolving into a puddle of lust before they'd ended up in her bed. She'd carried on happily making plans afterwards when they'd been laying there completely happy with one another and he'd been twirling her hair into ringlets then tucking them one by one behind her ears, well she had until they'd suddenly remembered the time and that he was supposed to be somewhere else. But somehow she wasn't sure her sister was going to see it quite the same way she had, in fact she was pretty sure Bella was a hair's breadth from going off on one again.

"I went with him to see this house in South Road …" Molly chewed at her bottom lip "'e said about us moving in there with 'im, but I said nah … 'n I thought maybe 'e could come 'ere for the odd night instead .. you know, while he's looking for somewhere … 'e could bring Sam instead of having to take 'im to his mum's … and Mar'in would like that, he likes Sam"

"Why did you say no you prannet? Them houses in South Road are bleeding huge and they're close to everywhere, what was wrong with us moving in there with 'im for fuck sake? Fuck ….. he didn't mean just you did he?" Bella now sounded more worried than angry "I mean … if you move in with 'im, what am I s'posed to do ….?"

"Of course you 'n all, I wouldn't leave you and Mar'in to get on with it, you know that" She shrugged "But that's just it innit, it's a bleeding big 'ouse … actually it was a bit lush, but much bigger than I can afford"

"What … he wants you to pay the rent? He said that?"

"Nah … course not but I'm not gonna live off him am I? gotta pay me way"

"You know you're bleeding nuts don't you? Well if he does come 'ere, what am I s'posed to do … just lie in bed 'n listen?"

"What you on about now?" Molly knew exactly what her sister was talking about and despite still feeling a tiny bit peeved at having to defend herself when she was the one who paid all the bills, well most of them, she couldn't stop the slightly embarrassed snigger that was welling up "Don't be bleeding daft …"

"You can 'ear through them walls you know"

"I know … but there's not anything to 'ear"

"Shame …." Bella giggled, her usual sense of humour making a fleeting visit "Ne'er mind, he can't be good at everything can he? Some of 'em are better at other stuff … taking the bins out 'n that"

"That is not what I said …" Bella's giggle was very infectious, so that Molly was now trying her best not to giggle with her "So … look, we okay Bels?"

"Nah … not really …. But not much I can do about it is there? It's up to you innit?"

"I know that … but I don't want you to be … un'appy"

"Don't move 'im in 'ere then"

"I keep telling you, I'm not movin' 'im in … he'll just be stopping sometimes … "

Molly really wanted to confide in her sister. She wanted to tell Bella all about him saying he loved her, she wanted badly to tell someone because otherwise it didn't feel quite real but there was a bit of her that was afraid to believe him. Once upon a time she'd have told Donna, but her being with Tony had changed all that. He'd told her over and over that he loved her, he used to say it all the bloody time even though looking back now she could see that he'd never meant it. He'd treated her like shit and Charles had never been like that, but that didn't mean he couldn't change his mind, there was nothing to say that he wouldn't wake up one day and decide she was too young for him. Bella was right, he was a lot older than her and although he'd said he'd never met anyone like her before, that didn't mean he couldn't get pissed off with her being _different._ Where would that leave her?

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you everyone for the lovely reviews and comments for the last chapter, they are what keep me going and I do hope that you enjoyed this.**_


	22. Chapter 22

"That's good to hear"

Daniel nodded his head in a way that reminded Charles of one of those nodding dogs he used to see in the back windows of cars when he was a kid. It was something he used to look out for whenever his grandparents took him out from school for the day, he'd do his best to spot one and because he'd always thought they were the prerogative of old people, at least the drivers had looked old to his ten-year old eyes, he'd beg and plead with his Gran and Grandad to get one of their own. He could only ever remember playing those 'I Spy' games with his grandparents never his mother and father.

"What is?"

"Well I was just saying that I'm glad things have settled down a bit in your private life … it can only help"

"Okay ….."

Daniel had the sort of quizzical expression on his face that told Charles he was waiting to be filled in on what he was talking about, or who, but Charles was buggered if he was going to do any such thing. His private life had got sod-all to do with Daniel or with his tedious bloody on-going therapy sessions, he'd got no intention of talking to this irritating little man about Molly.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course … fire away … I'll do my best .."

Daniel took off his glasses and swung his chair round slightly and started making his usual production of holding them up to the light and squinting through the lenses before he polished them carefully and held them up again to check, and it dawned on Charles as he watched him that he'd been remarkably slow to assume he did it purely out of habit. A bloody infuriating one, but nevertheless just a habit, when in fact it was anything but, it was a deliberate ploy that Daniel used when he didn't want to look directly at someone. Keeping his hands busy with his glasses was a diversionary tactic that was designed to deflect attention while he bought himself some thinking time, it let him put off answering until he'd thought it through from every conceivable angle. Charles had a sudden irrational urge to fuck up his little game for him, to spoil his party piece by keeping his own mouth shut and sitting there waiting for Daniel to finish fannying around with his prop before he said anything else.

"In your experience … how long does …. all this …." Charles waved his hand between the two of them "Usually take? …I mean, how many of these sessions … I'm assuming there is going to be some sort of resolution, a successful outcome of some sort…." Even as he said it Charles knew it was a mistake, that Daniel would turn the tables on him and try to make him provide the answer himself. It was what Daniel did, but he was committed now to asking the question "What I really want to know is ….… do you see this coming to an end before too long?"

"I presume you're talking about the counselling …?" Daniel waited for Charles to nod an acknowledgment "You tell me Charles, how long do _you_ see it taking?"

"Oh for fuck sake …."

The exasperated mutter was an involuntary reaction to being as annoyed with himself as he was with Daniel, he'd bloody known for fuck sake that Daniel wouldn't suddenly be prepared to answer a simple straightforward question with a fucking straightforward answer.

"Sorry?" Both men knew full well that the apology wasn't intended as an apology at all. On the contrary Daniel's use of the word and his tone of voice made it plain he was either pretending to have misheard the irritated outburst or he was questioning what had provoked the reaction.

"Doesn't matter …."

There was a weary resignation in his voice as Charles shrugged and looked away before remembering what Molly had said about not really knowing the answers if he didn't ask outright, that he'd only ever be guessing to fill in the blanks. And he found he did want to know.

"Nope, that's not entirely true … it does matter, I really would like to know what sort of time scale we're looking at … that's if you actually believe I will get back to doing what I do best …."

"That really does depend on you … as I said it's not what I think that matters …" Daniel leaned forward and rested his weight on his elbows on the desk "You know Charles … we haven't actually made anything like the progress I'd have expected … why do you think that is?"

Charles took a deep breath and sighed, his frustration with what he wanted to call bloody therapy bollocks meant that even though he kept repeating that he wanted to get back on an even keel his stubborn resistance to taking any of the help that was on offer was still proving an stumbling block to making any sort of progress. Charles rested his forearms on his thighs and leaned forward to look down at the floor before he ran a hand over the back of his neck and looked up at Daniel.

"Up till … recently … the army was my whole bloody life, everything else fitted around it …. I've always been at my happiest living out of a Bergen … in fact I've never really wanted anything else …" Even as he said the words he wondered how true it was going to be in the future now that things had changed "But as you know …. the job I'm doing at the moment isn't what I …." He paused and swallowed hard "I just need to know whether we're talking weeks … or months … or even if you can actually see things working out at all …" He paused to take a deep breath to bury the vague thought that had kept popping into his head at odd moments over recent weeks as the memory surfaced of the passionate way Molly's had told him how proud she was to be doing something worthwhile, that she loved it and thought she was good at it, and he realised he was struggling to remember when he'd last felt that way about anything he did.

"You're talking about the past …. Let's just think for a moment about how _you_ see things working in the future …?"

"That's what I'm asking you, do you see me even having one?"

"One of the things you might want to bear in mind is that you are very unlikely to ever fully recover … PTSD is a complex condition and no-one really understands everything about it. No-one knows why it affects people so differently or why some people suffer and others don't, but what is important is to remember that it can be managed by the sufferer …. you can learn to live with it … there are …. a number of _strategies_ you can employ to help you cope … it's a question of finding what works best for you so that you can get your life back on track ….. but …. burying your anxiety behind a wall of denial is definitely not one of them …"

Daniel was surprised that Charles didn't automatically leap in and challenge what he'd said about him suffering from PTSD, or to reject any suggestion that he was denying and burying his anxieties He was almost as surprised when he didn't immediately retreat behind his habitual mask of polite indifference.

"I think it would be very helpful if you take the time between now and our next session to think very carefully about what I've said … and about what it is you want …. you need to ask yourself whether you feel anywhere near ready to return to feeling all the responsibility for the wellbeing of those in your charge … or whether you're hanging onto the belief that if you can get things back to the way they were, everything will automatically revert to the way it used to be ….."

-OG-

Chapter 22

"Moll … hey ….. Molly …"

She was miles away when his voice behind her made her spin round, not entirely sure she hadn't imagined it in her end-of-shift exhausted brain-dead semi-coma. She was at the point where she was just longing to get out of the place, to get herself home and get her shoes off before she put her feet up and had a very, very large mug of tea. As far as she could remember they hadn't said anything about him meeting her, but it had been an incredibly long twelve hour shift, they'd been two down with flu and some knobhead had decided not to get the Agency nurses in, which meant no time for her to have a proper break and she was almost light headed with hunger so was finding it difficult to even remember her own name. She'd gone all day on one dubious sandwich of dry bread with some sort of grease on it instead of real butter and a filling which was supposed to be cheese but could have been anything, most likely cardboard. And she'd had one hot chocolate from the machine because although it definitely didn't taste of chocolate, a No 9 was the only thing in the machine that didn't taste of Oxtail soup so was the only thing fit to drink. She was grubby and sweaty and minging and her stomach felt like her throat had been cut while her mouth was like the Gobi desert but none of that really mattered as soon as she turned round and saw the tall bloke with the lovely dark curly hair and her heart did this little flipping over thing of being really happy to see him.

"What you doing 'ere?"

"Know something Molly, it would make a really nice change if just for once you were pleased to see me instead of always being suspicious of my motives"

"What? Sorry …course I'm 'appy to see you…"

They were standing still in the middle of a stream of people who were all anxious to leave at the end of visiting so there was a lot of tutting and huffing irritably at having to dodge round them when he suddenly put his arms round her and held her tightly against him. Molly had this insane urge to cry as she leaned back a bit and looked at the expression on his face and saw the way his eyes were tight shut.

"Oh bloody hell … what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Yeah there is …..… come on, what is it? I can see there's something…" Molly tried to force a laugh into her voice "Who was it pissed in your Coco-Pops this time?"

"What?"

"Nothin' … come on, what's up….? You look like me when I've had a bollocking"

"I'm the boss, I don't get bollocked …"

"Lucky you"

She could see how hard he triied to dredge up a smile from somewhere before he gave it up and reverted back to being annoyed with her for some reason.

"You know you'd have been expecting me if you ever had your bloody phone on … I don't know if there's anything more annoying than trying to ring someone who never has the bloody thing switched on but if there is, I haven't come across it … or maybe it's the person who never listens to her messages …"

"Sorry … I weren't expecting ….. you know I can't have me phone when I'm working and …. then …. I forgot …. alright? … but I'm 'ere now 'n I'm Hank Marvin ….. and bleeding shattered…" Molly could hear the whine of self-pity in her voice and felt an unwelcome prickle of tears at the back of her eyes, but she was not only beginning to feel picked on and thoroughly sorry for herself, but increasingly annoyed with him. That there was something wrong was obvious, something had to have happened to turn him back into being Mr Charm, but being all sulky with her wasn't going to do anything to help. It had been one of his Daniel days so apart from sitting there talking about himself, or not, he'd have spent the rest of it on his bum pushing bits of paper about or whatever it was he did all day. He definitely hadn't been on his feet for twelve fucking hours rushing from crisis to crisis, with only time for a pee when he was on the point of wetting himself and he'd have had a steady drip feed of his poncy coffee, not one plastic cup of some tepid tasteless brown stuff.

But she was kicking herself. If she'd known she could have washed her face then at least she wouldn't have felt she looked total shit, but as it was she looked knackered and any make-up she had been wearing had long since vanished, apart from the high probability of mascara smudges where she'd been rubbing her eyes. And she was bloody wearing the scruffiest pair of jeans she'd got with a jumper that wasn't much better, it was one that got bigger and more shapeless every time it got washed. She knew only too well that she looked as if she'd got dressed in a jumble sale, not that she could have done much about it, but at least she could have brushed her hair instead of looking like she'd been pulled through a hedge backwards.

"Come on, let's go and get you something to eat … we don't want you wasting away"

"No chance of that …"

They walked without touching, he was striding out in the way that meant she had to keep doing little running skips if she wanted to keep up and he wasn't making any attempt to wait for her or hold her hand or even look down at her so that Molly was torn somewhere between wanting to stand still and stamp her feet and yell at him, call him names then flounce off to get the bus home and giving in and bursting into tears. She really hadn't got a bloody clue why he was being like he was, all sulky and stroppy and she didn't even know whether it was something she'd done, but even if it was, she'd have thought he could at least have told her what it was that had got so far up his nose.

If it hadn't been for her being so bloody wrong about it being okay with Bella, they could have gone back to hers for him to stay and then they would have had heaps of time in bed for her to get him to tell her what was wrong and they could have made up if they were having a fight. But he'd been right along when he'd said he wasn't so sure Bella would go for it and that she should run it by her before she thought of it as a done deal.

"Do you love me?"

"What?" He stopped and looked back at her with a frown of incomprehension on his face "I said so didn't I? Why are you asking?"

"Just wondered …. 'cos if you do …. you got a bleeding funny way of showin' it ….. are you ever gonna tell me what's up or am I gonna 'ave to start guessing?"

"Molly I have got no idea what you're talking about"

"Yeah you 'ave …. I'm asking you what's wrong and don't say nothin', cos it's bloody obvious there's some'ing …." Molly took a deep breath and risked tucking her hand into his as they began to walk again, and was immeasurably reassured when he squeezed her fingers tightly and gave her hand a little shake "Tell me if it's some'ing I've done?"

"Of course it's not …. God no, I'm sorry … taking it out on you is the last thing I should be doing … and that's exactly what I am doing, isn't it? …. It's got nothing to do with you … shit, I didn't mean that the way it sounded either …." He took a deep breath and looked down at her then held her door for her as she got in but still without any hint of a smile on his face "Don't worry about it …."

Charles didn't want to even begin to admit to Molly the depth of the dismay that he'd felt deep in his guts when Daniel had told him he was unlikely to ever get back to being the same Bossman again, that that particular bird had flown. His first instinct had been denial, what the fuck did this fat little man know about what was going on in his head, of course he was going to get things back under control. Daniel was wrong. But then he'd spent the afternoon sitting at his desk pretending to work but in reality thinking about the life he used to take for granted, his _once upon a time_ before everything had conspired to comprehensively fuck it up. The decision to go and meet Molly from work was borne out of a sudden intense desire to be with the one person who had the knack of making him feel that things weren't all black. Initially he'd toyed with a vague idea of trying to see Sam who wasn't yet back at school, of taking him out somewhere, of it just being the two of them, but it wasn't his 'day' and he was pretty bloody sure he'd be met with an outright refusal from Rebecca. Anyway much as he adored Sammie, it wasn't him he wanted to be with.

"Of course I'm gonna worry …. Just stop being a bloody tit 'n tell me … Oh fuck, you didn't smack Daniel one did you?"

"Nope …" In spite of himself Charles couldn't help giving a short chuckle at the idea "But you're right, it was Daniel … he said some stuff …" Once again he shied away from telling her, sure that repeating out loud what the counsellor had said would bring back the searing pain of epic failure inside him "I rang Rebecca about the weekend and that didn't go particularly well either … she really is a fucking nightmare at times …."

"What did she say?"

"Not much … obviously still thinks she's got the bloody right to run my life … usual stuff … and my mother has had a great time stirring the shit … I really could have done without it today"

"What was it over … was it 'bout me?"

"Let's put it this way, for some reason she didn't seem exactly overjoyed when Sammie went home full of what a great time he'd had with you and me and Martin ….. and how he couldn't wait to do it again …"

"Oh fuck … she not keen on that then?" Molly hadn't even considered that Rebecca might not want Sam to spend time with her and Martin although now she thought about it, she should have "What did she say? Let me guess, over her dead body, right?"

Charles snorted and checked over his shoulder before pulling out of the parking space "Pretty much …. Not that it matters what she says"

"I know … still makes it a bit bloody awkward …what's she like?"

"How do you mean?"

"Apart from being a fucking nightmare …. I meant what does she look like … bet she's bloody tall with legs up to her bum … 'n got ' _cos I'm worth it'_ hair …" She paused and thought for a second "Bet she does that flicky thing 'n all …."

"I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about … and what on earth is _'cos I'm worth it'_ hair? What the hell is that? And what's a _flicky_ thing?"

"You know … like in the ads on tele …. all blonde and shiny and … _flicky_ "

"I've still got no idea what you're talking about .. but yep she's got blonde hair, it's not her real colour …"

"I used to be blonde like that once … out of a bottle"

"Did you? Why? Your hair is beautiful"

"Is it? Well …. mainly 'cos me dad kept saying I weren't allowed …" Molly giggled, encouraged to see a tiny smile appear on his lips or at least that the corners of his mouth had turned up slightly "And worst of it was the bugger was dead right, it looked _'orrible_ … I looked like some cheap brass but I kept it like that long enough to make a bleeding point …" Molly giggled and glanced at him quickly to see how he reacted before she carried on "Flicky hair is what girls do when they fancy you … they keep fiddling about with their hair and flicking it back when you're talking to them …"

"I've never noticed you doing that … does that mean you don't fancy me?"

"Yeah …sorry 'bout that …." She giggled "Alright maybe a bit …. on a good day … I just don't think I got flicky hair that's all" She began to chew on her bottom lip and looking a bit pensive, a bit unsure it might be better to shut up before carrying on "Bet she's bleeding thin 'n all isn't she? … like a pole dancer … 'n 'as to 'ave a coat hanger in her gob to stop her going down the plug 'ole when she lets the bath out"

" _What_? Rebecca is nothing like a pole dancer"

"Well you know what I mean …. "

"No I don't …. are you sure you do?"

"Nah not really …" Molly grinned at him and then laughed, she felt far happier now she could see that he was slowly beginning to thaw "What was it he said upset you?"

"Leave it Moll"

Charles still didn't want to start telling her what Daniel had said about it being unlikely he would ever recover completely, he didn't want to start dissecting it and wasn't sure if he was ready to hear the words of encouragement that he was pretty sure Molly would dish out. She hadn't known him before his life had gone to shit, and although he was far from sure she'd have even liked him the way he was then, the thought of getting back to the way things used to be was what he'd been hanging onto. Despite having known in his heart of hearts what the score was likely to be all along, he just hadn't wanted to admit it, not really, not even to himself. Suspecting and hearing someone tell you it was a fact were two very different things.

"We going in or what ? I'm a bit taters 'n bloody starvin … 'ave you 'ad some tea?"

They'd been sitting outside the house while Molly waited for him to say what he wanted to do, whether or not he was going to come in or was still in a sulk. She didn't want to make him feel like she expected anything from him but on the other hand she was getting a bit bleeding fed up with waiting and a bit more than fed up of trying to read his mind, and on top of that as usual when she'd just got home from work, she was busting for a pee. Charles shook his head, he hadn't been in the slightest bit hungry earlier, he'd had this sick churning feeling in his stomach that had robbed him of any desire to eat, a feeling that to all intents and purposes now seemed to be fading.

"I got a bottle of wine hid indoors … this patient give us a whole crate so it's most likely better than me usual Tesco 5 quid BOGOF … although I've got one of them 'n all … if Bella 'asn't found it"

"Lovely …"

-OG-

"Bloody hell ….you weren't kidding were you?" Charles held up a bottle of red wine to check the label as he wielded the corkscrew "This is seriously good stuff … it's about 90 quid a bottle ….. "

"Is it? Should go nice with fish fingers then"

Molly grinned as he snorted a laugh down his nose, she wasn't sure exactly when he'd become so important to her but thought it might well have been the morning after Boxing Day when she'd woken up with him in his bed with this feeling of being where she was supposed to be. The same feeling kept coming back which wasn't at all what was supposed to happen after Tony. She hadn't been going to be all dependent on any bloke ever again, she was independent and could look after herself, it was just that she didn't want to. And it mattered to her that he was happy.

Bella had gone marching upstairs clutching her phone when he'd come in so it was obvious she was planning on calling her mates to tell them how hard done by she was, but she'd have something else to moan about when she found out about the wine. Molly had been going to offer her some but by the time she fetched it from its hiding place under the sink with the cleaning stuff, Bella had done what Nan called her Mata Hari act, whoever the fuck that was, and had gone stomping off in a strop, only pausing long enough to give Charles the stink eye as she passed him in the hall.

He'd insisted that at 90 quid a bottle the least they could do was let it breathe, despite Molly's hoots of laughter at the bloody idea, and her insistence that she'd never done that in her entire life, but they'd shared the bottle of Tesco best for under a fiver before she'd giggled and insisted that the good stuff had to have breathed enough by then. That it was going to go off if they left it sitting there very much longer.

"Not bad …. She swigged another mouthful of the wine that had started out tasting really nice but which she could no longer taste at all, her lips had long since gone numb "Don't taste like 90 quid a bottle but it's nice enough innit?"

"Indeed … tell me Molly, what does 90 quid a bottle usually taste like?"

"No idea mate … " Molly looked back at the glass in her hand which seemed to have somehow miraculously emptied itself then tipped it upside down to check if there was anything left in the bottom, and caught the resulting drip with her tongue "Oh dear all gone …. We got any more?" She giggled, aware that she was beginning to sound like a meths drinker in an alley.

Charles turned the bottle upside down and they both watched as the last few remaining drips slowly emptied into her glass.

"Nope … we seem to have finished it, or you have … I'm pretty sure it wasn't me …. I'm driving …."

"Really? Do you think? Nah, don't think so, think you're a bit twatted … you might gonna need to 'ave to stop 'ere"

"What about Bella?"

"Nah, not with Bella you numpty … with me"

She was sitting so close that it only took a tiny stretch for her to reach out and touch him, to run her hands over the smooth warmth of the skin of his wrists and forearms and feel the hardness of the muscles in his chest through his shirt, to lean towards him and smell his smell then run her hands down to the dip at the base of his spine that she loved so much.

"You'll 'ave to be a bit quiet…"

"Me? It's not me that makes a bloody noise … that's you"

Suddenly he was kissing her as though he couldn't get enough of her, and whispering her name in a way that she was sure no-one else ever would. He was making her feel the way she was sure that no-one else ever could.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: TBC**_

 _ **Part 2 will definitely follow in a couple of days … it really was getting a tad long even for me x**_


	23. Chapter 22 - Part 2

Chapter 22 – Part 2

"Oops …" The floor tipped alarmingly as Molly grabbed hold of his arm, she'd stood up far too quickly for her own good on legs that felt a bit like cooked spaghetti. Charles raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"You okay?"

"Yeah …. never better…"

It wasn't strictly true to say she'd had to grab hold of his arm, she'd done it because she wanted to, but she'd definitely underestimated the effects of necking the best part of a bottle of wine, or if he was to be believed two bottles, on one fish finger sandwich especially when she was a bit tired and it had been a fair while since she'd had anything much in the way of booze. The last time had been the Champagne on Boxing day and she'd been on her best behaviour that night so had paced herself as well as stuffing her face with canapes to mop it up. She'd just been sprawled half on his lap kissing him and behaving like a couple of teenagers who were necking on the sofa when their parents had gone to bed and she'd made the classic rookie mistake of closing her eyes. She really should have known better, but was obviously a bit out of practice.

"Time for bed I think …"

"Yeah …. sorry …. think you're right, bit tired"

"Tired? …" He snorted a laugh "Right …. Okay if you say so ….." He was still smirking all over his face.

"Shut up … I'm not pissed if that's what you're sayin' … bloody cheek … can drink you under the table any day mate"

"Probably …. Can you walk or do you want me to carry you?"

"Course I can bleeding walk … been doing it for years ….. now don't forget …." She waved her index finger in his face and did her absolute best to stand up straight and look sensible which somehow seemed to be a bit beyond her, especially when she was doing her best to try and remember whatever it was she'd been going to say "Don't forget ….. ummm … don't forget …." There was a certain degree of triumph in her voice when it suddenly dawned on her what she'd been trying to remember "We really gotta be quiet"

"How could I forget? … still think I should carry you .." He was laughing as he picked her up somewhat clumsily which made Molly squeal and bang her hands on him and then shout loudly that he needed to put her down before he bloody well dropped her.

"Shhhhh … you're shouting … thought we had to be quiet …"

"I am being quiet …. put me down"

He was still laughing as he let her slide slowly down his body then started to kiss her and run his hands down her back and over her bum, pulling her tightly against him so that she could feel every bit of the hard length of just how much he wanted her. She could feel him smile against her mouth and lifted her chin to help him nibble his way round to her ear, every little kiss punctuated with him whispering her name before suddenly he swung her off her feet again and told her in his best stern voice to stop bloody wriggling if she didn't want him to drop her on the stairs.

"You're bein' bossy …"

"I know …."

The way she was nuzzling into his neck and kissing and nibbling the lobe of his ear meant it took a very long time for them to even get as far as the bottom of the stairs. Charles was constantly distracted so that they had to keep standing still and kissing, especially when she twined her fingers into the short curls on the back of his neck and began to stroke his skin and he put his head back to simply enjoy the sensation of her fingers on his scalp.

"Put me down …. I'll walk … " Molly was stage-whispering as she again put her fingers to her lips and made exaggerated shushing gestures to remind him, or maybe to remind herself, of the need to be quiet "Gotta be quiet".

This time he did let her slide down him until her feet were again on the floor and then steadied her as she wobbled slightly, he was suddenly very aware that she wasn't the only one who was feeling the effects of a couple of bottles of wine, he wasn't entirely sober himself and doubted his own ability to carry her safely up the stairs. The very last thing he wanted to do was drop her.

Molly was concentrating very hard on not stumbling as she slowly climbed the stairs in front of him with only the tiny soft glow of the nightlight from the slightly open door of Martin's room to break the darkness and every so often she stopped her exaggerated tiptoeing to turn and look at him, then put her fingers to her lips and make shushing noises, obviously totally unaware of exactly how much racket she was making telling him to be quiet.

Molly only remembered that she'd kept on hitting the snooze button on her alarm that morning when she pushed her bedroom door open. When she'd finally got up she'd been in a desperate rush and hadn't even had time to make her bed which now felt really slutty, especially given that her bedroom looked like Primark at sale time or a school jumble sale. It had been a bitterly cold morning so almost every stitch she owned had been dumped in a heap in the middle of her bed while she'd searched through it frantically, throwing things about as she looked for the polar fleece that Tony had bought her because it was the only one she had which was even halfway warm enough. But she'd tried she hadn't been able to put her hand on it, until eventually she tracked it down to being a festering and smelly heap on the floor in the corner of Bella's room. Molly had been bloody furious, Bella was a total cow for nicking her stuff so she'd ignored all her sister's whinging about it still being the middle of the night and had given her hell in an angry whisper so as not to wake Martin up. Still meant that not only had she been forced to wear the scruffy overstretched one that was the next best she had for being warm, but that her bedroom looked like a bomb had hit it. But she hadn't expected anyone else to see it, not that she gave a shit about the mess, she was just drunk enough not to care at all as she giggled and put her fingers to her lips in the now familiar shushing gesture whispering to herself that she had to be quiet before sweeping it all up into an untidy bundle and looking round for somewhere to dump it. Then opted for the floor.

"Shut the door …" She stage-whispered again, her face alight with laughter "Sorry … bit of a mess in 'ere"

"Couldn't matter less … come here…. "

She was very aware of the way the muscles of his back were moving under her fingers and how hard his thighs were as he pulled her body against his, then held her as he delivered the lightest of kisses on each new patch of her skin revealed when he slowly stripped her clothes off, his mouth gentle on her unresisting body. As soon as she was naked he took a deep breath before lifting her carefully onto the bed and then without taking his eyes off hers swiftly stripped off his own and threw them on the floor. Without saying a word but without breaking his gaze he stretched out alongside her and began to slowly graze his teeth gently on her stomach and kissed a trail down to the inside of her thighs. Staying silent suddenly seemed to be one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do, the feel of his stubble rasping slightly on her skin meant she was struggling not to react, something that she would probably have found just as difficult if she'd been entirely sober but as it was the warmth of his breath on her body as she writhed against him and tried to get closer filled her with this huge need to gasp and groan out loud. She was flooded with feelings of longing when he pulled her down under him, sensations that meant she had to bury her face in his neck to muffle her involuntary cries of pleasure. Then in one wonderful moment her world was complete when his breath warmed her throat and he moved inside her, rocking against her and softly murmured her name until the tide of pleasure that had been building deep inside swept through her with the force of a tidal wave. And in what felt like the space of a heartbeat he, in turn, was clinging to her and holding his breath and murmuring as he buried his head against her neck, and then did his best to muffle his own cries of ecstasy.

As their mingled sweat dried on their bodies and their breathing returned to normal he settled her into the crook of his arm and tucked the duvet round her to make sure she was warm as she began to drift off to sleep and everything started to feel right for him for the first time that day, or at least since he'd finished the session with Daniel. He seemed to have been in a fucking daze ever since he'd walked out of that room, so much so that he couldn't actually remember if he'd even seen anyone he knew on his way back to his office, and if he had he wasn't sure he'd acknowledged them, all he'd wanted to do was to scream that it wasn't PTSD. That label was enough to put an end to his career in the army and he wasn't ready for that, but what Daniel had said had had the horrible ring of truth about it. Somewhere deep in his guts the words had meant something to him, had rung a bell. He knew that deep down he wasn't actually sure he did want to go back to being deployed, that something that had once been everything he wanted was not any longer right for him, not even with 2 Section. He wasn't sure what it was he did want, but going back to living out of a Bergen in some god-awful shithole where he had to watch his back the whole time, where he would have to do the same thing for everyone in his charge, where he was responsible for their safety no longer held the same appeal. There was a huge chunk of him that wanted to stay curled up with Molly. It was something he'd never experienced before, but he didn't want to leave her behind and go off to fight, using her words, a bloody war somewhere, he wanted her to be the last thing he saw every night and her to be there first thing every morning, and he wanted to feel her soft and warm and curled up against him with her arms round him if he woke in the night. But the desk job he was currently doing held very little appeal for him and he had no idea what the fuck he would do if he resigned his commission, because without the army he couldn't even think of finding somewhere for them to share. It wasn't that he had no money, no resources that he could call on, he was lucky, he was okay even after paying for Sam and the house that he'd shared with Rebecca, but he couldn't ask Molly to risk living with him, to be with him while he was out of work, he knew how important security was for her, and there was no bloody way he was going to ask her if she wanted to live in Bath. With his mother.

Things hadn't been supposed to be like this. He'd be the first to say she'd played a big part in him starting the slow climb back to feeling better about himself, about everything that had happened in Kabul and about Elvis, that meeting her the way he had had pulled him out of the downward spiral that he'd been in. But he hadn't bargained on her becoming such a major part of his life. She was a mouthy no nonsense fucking beautiful little smartarse who had slowly become a rival for Sam when it came to being the most important person in his life and he hadn't even decided what or how to tell her what Daniel had said. So much for not letting his emotions get involved in decision making. He remembered saying emotions were messy, that he made sure they played absolutely no part in his decision making but now the only thing worse than the fear of what would happen if he let those emotions take over was the thought of going back to living without her in his life.

"I been thinkin' …."

"Oh God … that sounds dangerous …. Hey … I thought you were asleep …"

"Hilarious … nah I can't, not yet … I need a wee …. I were just thinkin' she were right, it is 'ard to keep quiet innit?"

"It's different … I'll give you that" Charles chuckled and stroked her hair back, he'd actually thoroughly enjoyed listening to her trying not to make a noise as he'd teased her with his tongue "Go on, go and have a wee and I'll keep your side warm"

"In a minute …. were just thinking …maybe I was a bit wrong when I said I didn't wanna …. You know, find somewhere where we 'ad a bit more … space … that maybe we could think 'bout it a bit more … if you still wanna do it I could maybe talk to the Social …. what do you think?"

Fuck. Twenty four hours earlier he'd have been ecstatic to hear her say that she was thinking of changing her mind, but now nothing about anything was as straightforward as it had been before he'd asked Daniel about the future. He had no idea what he wanted to say, but then he had no clear idea what he wanted to do, except that he was not going to lie to her.

"It's not that I don't want to, Molly, I do, of course I do, it's just there are some things I need to sort out .. before I do anything"

"This is whatever it was with Daniel innit ….?"

"Indeed … but ….. there is nothing for you to worry about and I promise I will tell you …. But let's just leave it for now shall we? It's late and work in the morning so we need some sleep … you go and have a wee and …"

He hated being in her bed waiting for her to come back when he knew that despite everything he'd promised himself almost every word that had just come out of his mouth had been a lie. And he hated the way she'd instantly withdrawn behind her 'I don't give a flying fuck" act, metaphorically shrugging her shoulders to show him that she didn't care one way or the other and he hated that she had this unsettling ability to see through him because it meant she knew that he'd lied and had been hurt. But he had to be clear in his own mind.

-OG-

 _He was filled with a sense of mounting horror as he watched Elvis' body fly in agonisingly slow motion off the top of a building that he didn't recognise and knew he could do nothing to stop it even though he knew with absolute certainty what the outcome was going to be and then felt an excruciating pain in his leg followed by the same pain in his stomach as bullets peppered his body and he desperately looked for somewhere to take cover. But there was nowhere. Somewhere nearby but out of his range of vision he could hear the voices of some of 2 Section yelling 'Man Down, MAN DOWN' and knew that was him, but no matter how hard he tried to scream at them, opening his mouth and yelling at the top of his voice, no sound came out. He couldn't make them hear that it was Elvis who needed help, it was Elvis who was in trouble._

He wasn't sure where he was when he surfaced soaked in sweat with his legs caught up in the tangle of a duvet and with the noise of shouting and explosions and gunfire and screams of pain all around him, sounds that only slowly began to fade when his body woke up to the fact that he wasn't in Afghanistan. There wasn't actually a living nightmare unfolding in front of him, that he was in bed somewhere and there was someone with him, someone who was shaking him gently and telling him that he had to wake up, a girl's voice kept repeating over and over again that he was okay and that it was just a dream.

"Hey … come on Charles … wake up mate you're dreaming …. you're alright … it's just a dream …" He recognised the voice as someone who was desperately important to him, someone he cared about, it was just that he couldn't quite remember who she was "You're alright, you're fine … come on … 'ere's what we're gonna do, deep breaths with me, come on, easy does it, just take your time … come on you're alright … it's just a dream …" Molly kept on gently stroking his hair back from his forehead, it was damp and curly hair with sweat as she ran her hand over it as if he was Martin and she was comforting him when he'd had a nightmare. She leaned across him and flicked on the bedside lamp "Open your eyes …".

"Fuck … Molly …?" To his infinite relief he did know who she was now that the panic had begun to subside "God, I'm so sorry … was I yelling?"

"Bit …. not much ….… don't worry 'bout it … just open your eyes prop'ly … you'll see … just a dream"

"Oh God …" Charles slowly forced himself to open his eyes and look round the room to reassure himself that he was where he actually thought he was before he looked at Molly's concerned little face and knew it had been one of the bad ones, one of the dreams he used to have on the bad nights after Elvis. For some reason he'd had one of the nightmares that he hadn't had for weeks, one of those that he'd been convinced were a thing of the past "Haven't had this good a hangover in a couple of years"

"Yeah ….. a hangover ….right … bleeding lightweight" She laughed softly but was still stroking his hair back with a gentle hand and he found he didn't want her to stop. Despite not wearing a stitch of clothing she had somehow adopted a calm professional demeanour that he found immeasurably comforting "Do you need anything …'ere … I'll go and get you some wa'er …"

"No, I'm good thanks … don't go anywhere … but if you could get the light to stop hurting my eyes it'd be great … or better still turn it off"

"What? … Looking at me mess in 'ere didn't make you feel better?" She was slightly reluctant to plunge them back in the dark until she was sure there were no chance of him dropping straight back to sleep and into his nightmare.

"Sorry if I woke you"

"IF? … what do you mean _if_?" Molly giggled and the professional mask she'd adopted fell as she leaned across to turn the light off and then pulled the duvet up over his shoulders to stop him getting cold now that he'd stopped sweating quite so profusely "You gonna tell me what that was all about then?"

Charles wiped a hand over his face to wipe off the residue of cold sweat and took a deep breath as the lingering panic slowly drained from his body. He pulled her into his side and took several more deep breaths to try and calm his racing heart, he could tell his body was still flooded with excess adrenalin as Molly pillowed her head over his heart and surrepticiously measured just how fast his heart was beating.

"You'll do … "

"I wasn't exactly a stranger to nights like this before I met you … I had a lot of them … dreams, _nightmares_ I suppose you'd call them … Kabul, Elvis …." Molly was aware that he was unconsciously rubbing the muscle in his thigh as though it was still painful "The whole nine yards …. But it's been better lately …none at all so I thought they were over with, seems I got that wrong" He was still rubbing his leg "They weren't usually me on that fucking bridge with Badrai …." He was still massaging his leg as Molly put her hand over his to still his involuntary movement "Bloody Daniel talking about it probably … he said … he called it PTSD"

"That weren't news to you though was it? You knew that already"

"Did I? I'm not sure about that …. He said I was unlikely to … let me see now, his exact words _I was unlikely to ever fully recover …_ that this is it from here on in and I'm not sure I did know what that was going to mean … I probably won't be able to go back …."

"It'll be okay you know …."

Even as she said the words Molly regretted them. Who the fuck did she think she was telling him that everything was going to work out? Her words had sounded glib even to her, she'd meant to reassure him but he wasn't a patient …. And she didn't know if everything was going to work out for him, not for sure. If she was him she'd be telling her to shut the fuck up, but she couldn't seem to stop her mouth running somehow.

"Do you really wanna go back to like before ….being worried 'n that? Only … you said when I first knew you that your life had got a bit shit … that things had gone a bit wrong…"

"Now you sound like Daniel …. He thinks I'm clinging to the idea of something that's no longer right for me …."

"And are you … I mean …is he right d'you think?"

"I don't know … maybe … I'm thinking I might resign my commission… leave the army"

"Are you? What you gonna do instead?"

"I have no fucking clue"

"But there's no rush is there?" Charles shrugged, this was exactly why he'd wanted to take his time before talking it over with anyone, even Molly "You don't have to decide straight off, I mean I know you don't like what you're doing, but if its just while you sort out what it is you really want … whether that's in the army or … you can take your time …. "

"I know …." Suddenly he was glad that he'd said the unthinkable aloud. He'd never considered himself a wildly impulsive person, had always prided himself on his ability to stay calm and unemotional, that he thought things through but Daniel's words had provoked a knee jerk reaction in him, especially as the thought of leaving and doing something else had already crossed his mind. He seemed to have fallen out of love with military life but without any clear idea of what he wanted instead "You're right of course …."

"I know, it's a gift" She laughed then stifled a yawn "Now close your eyes and shut up … try and go back to sleep …."

"I love you .."

"Ditto …"

"Ditto? … How can you with me putting on a performance like that?"

"Well I do … alright …. course I do … 'n don't talk bloody wet … you 'ad a nightmare, not your fault, now shut your bleeding eyes and go back to sleep …"

"Yes nurse"

Molly laughed again and peeped at the clock as she watched his eyelids close. She was going to be worse than bloody useless at work, there was precisely 2 hours left before she had to get up and she was bleeding knackered, had a bit of a bloody hangover as well so there was this bastard of a little man with an ice pick behind her eyes, but she wasn't sure she was going to be able to sleep anyway even if he did get off again. She'd be lying there tense with worrying about him, worrying that he was going to go back into the nightmare, which sometimes happened when people had bad dreams. Hearing him and seeing how frantic he'd been in his sleep had scared her a bit, it wasn't the same as looking after some patient who had the night horrors when she had all the bloody answers off pat. She didn't know what to say to him to make him feel better, she just wished she could.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Here is the Part 2 that I promised would just be a couple of days … a big thank you to everyone for your reviews … I couldn't do it without you …. it is your reviews that give me the motivation to keep going x**_


	24. Chapter 24

"I don't know if I should bother asking you if you had a good weekend?" Daniel raised his eyebrows and gave Charles' pale face and heavy-eyed appearance a wry look. He thought he looked dreadful.

"It was …. interesting …. Not sure I'd describe it as _good_ exactly …"

"Oh ….?" The expression on Daniel's face quickly changed from a slightly sympathetic polite concern to one of sharp curiosity. He'd assumed that Charles looking the way he looked was due to nothing more significant than a hangover but that didn't appear to be the case, not all of it anyway. And now all the rules dictated that he should keep his mouth shut and wait for Charles to elaborate, should use the power of silence to exert some gentle pressure, but his usual trawl through the notes before the session had highlighted just how frequently he seemed to have made a tiny bit of progress only to be stonewalled so that it slipped away.

"I'm sure you had a lot to think about …. so … Charles …?" He leaned back in his chair picked up his pen and deliberately focussed on twirling it between his fingers to hide his mounting pleasure at the thought of finally getting somewhere "Did you decide where you want to go from here?"

"Yup …. "

.

"Right ….…well ….okay …. that's good to hear … " Daniel nodded, just for a second he was floundering, not entirely sure that he'd heard correctly because that was not the answer he'd been expecting. He'd been preparing himself for the usual prevarication "And?"

Charles still wasn't 100% sure about any of it, least of all that his decision was the right one. He was no more comfortable with talking about emotional issues than he'd ever been in the past, he still had the same almost obsessive need to keep things to himself, it was a big part of who he was. It had been that way ever since those long off days when he'd been learning to be a survivor at school and had found out the hard way that parading your feelings made it so much harder to shove them back out of sight.

Despite it being 'his' Sam weekend, Rebecca had dug in her heels and insisted that the little boy was too "under the weather" to go off for the weekend with his dad, something that struck him as bloody convenient coming as it did after the acrimonious exchange they'd had last time he'd spoken to her, although he was prepared to admit that he was partially responsible for that. He really should have known better than to ring her when he'd been in the sort of mood he'd been in that day, it had been an unbelievably dick move on his part, a fucking disaster waiting to happen. But however much he wanted to see Sammie the thought of spending the weekend in Bath listening to Caroline snipe meant he wasn't as distraught as he might have been, she'd have almost certainly made a point of making disparaging remarks about Molly which would inevitably have led to him telling her some home truths, things that were probably best left unsaid, especially in front of Sam. But the trouble with spending the weekend alone in quarters was that it left him with far too much time to _think._ Too much time for regrets.

Once upon a time he'd almost certainly have found someone to go boozing with, Elvis unless he was off saving the planet somewhere, or some of his fellow officers or even the lads maybe, but not this time. This time he'd sought respite from the shit playing in a continuous loop in his head by pounding the streets for hours on end, running until he was almost too tired to put one foot in front of the other and ending up soaked in sweat despite it being several degrees below freezing.

While he'd been pounding the pavement he'd been doing his very best to persuade himself that he and Molly had badly needed this time apart, this _breathing space_ , that things between them had got a little bit too heavy, but in reality every time he thought about her, and he couldn't seem to stop doing it, there was this nasty feeling somewhere in his gut that he might have totally fucked it up. They'd had no plans to see one another, she was working what she'd called bastarding nights all weekend and sleeping during the day, but that gave him far too much time to mull over the unmitigated fucking disaster of the last time he'd seen her. He'd been stupidly lukewarm about her change of heart on them finding somewhere, and had then lied to her and she'd known it. She'd looked at him with those huge green eyes of hers full of hurt before the shutters had come down and she'd turned away, shutting him out. The bonus had come in the early hours when he'd had that fucking nightmare, resulting in her being exhausted the following morning when she'd had to get ready for work. But even when she'd been monosyllabic and bleary eyed she'd still been doing her hungover best to show him that it didn't matter. But it had mattered to him and by the time they were on their way to the hospital he'd retreated behind a wall of silence that he knew she'd done nothing to deserve. But he couldn't seem to stop being his bloody stubborn intransigent self so the journey had ended with her resolutely not looking at him, she'd given up trying and had instead left him to get on with it. But it had been one more thing he'd bitterly regretted when he was in his office trying to make sense of some logistics crap that he didn't give two shits about, when in reality he'd been trying, and failing, to stop looking back at what had happened.

"Sorry … " He looked up at Daniel with a question in his eyes "What it is you want to know exactly?"

"You said you'd given it a lot of thought, so … I'd like to know if you've decided exactly what it is you want to do … what we're aiming for here … then we can start setting some clear goals, can work together on some strategies"

"What I'd like to do and what's going to be possible are two very different things" Charles snorted a short laugh. What he wanted more than anything at that moment was to tell Daniel to cut the bloody crap, or at least to do him a favour and stop talking in fucking jargon "What I'd really like to do is turn the clock back to when everything was … simple … but I know better than anyone that that is not what's going to happen …"

"No …" Daniel leaned back in his chair and shook his head watching him steadily as he tried to think of the right words to get Charles to add to what he'd said without running the very real risk of making him disappear behind his masked expression, but the single monosyllable actually proved more effective than any number of targeted questions, any of his well-constructed therapy speak. Charles simply gave him a long look and then redirected his gaze to look down at the floor between his feet and began to speak in a measured and calm tone of voice, doing his best to keep it as unemotional as he could.

"Leaving it all behind is going to be … one hell of a fucking wrench … the army has been a very important part of my life … well as I think I've already told you, it's been my _whole_ fucking life …" He gulped and swallowed hard, he could hear just how empty that made his life sound "Being in the army … the culture … the way everything is orderly and unemotional … living my life bound by the rules … has always _suited_ me _…"_

Sometime during his relentless pounding of the wet streets he'd come to realise that over the years the lads in his charge had taken the place of the family he'd never had, that they'd actually become more to him than Rebecca. He also knew that he was entirely to blame for that, not her, he was the one who'd had deeply unrealistic expectations of what it would be like to have someone in his life to love, someone who loved him in return but his ingrained inability to show any of his emotions to her had quickly ruined whatever it was they might have had. That none of it had been about sex. He could see now how lonely she'd been, and that she'd had every right to expect him to put her first. Especially when Sam had come along. But he hadn't. The army had always been more important somehow, it had given him the sense of belonging that he'd craved, that he hadn't had when he was growing up and it was only now when everything had changed that he could see clearly what a fuck-up he'd been. He hadn't made Rebecca happy. He hadn't cared enough. She'd begged and pleaded and done everything in her power to manipulate him into doing what she wanted, to leave it behind, and he wouldn't. He'd been too selfish, too entrenched in his belief that he was doing the only thing that was right for him, he was doing what he wanted and would be no good at any other sort of life, definitely not the sort of life she'd wanted.

But now it didn't seem to matter that he'd only known her about five minutes, he'd leave it all in a heartbeat if Molly said it was what she wanted. He knew only too well the reasons why not, he didn't need reminding of how wrong for him she was, she was far too young, or he was too old, one of the two, and she was from a very different background with very different life experiences, she'd grown up in a different world with different expectations, but none of that mattered. Not to him. And even the fear that she would wake up one day and possibly see him as the fuck up he was wasn't going to stop him. He couldn't explain it, all he knew was that if this was what love was then it was fucking painful.

He had no intention of saying anything about any of it to Daniel, or mentioning anything about how bereft he was at the thought of not going back to the life he'd once taken for granted, the life he'd believed was going to be his forever. It was none of his business.

"You sound almost as though you're considering moving on … that you're maybe thinking of leaving the army altogether ….. is that what you've got in mind?" Daniel was suddenly deeply perturbed. It didn't matter if he personally felt it would probably be the best thing for Charles, he was pretty sure Beck had no desire to see Captain James walk the plank and that nothing had been further from his mind when he and Daniel had talked about what outcomes they could expect from the sessions.

"It's certainly one option …"

-OG-

 _ **Chapter 23**_

It had been a shit day or rather night, she'd had bloody Donna, or acting bleeding _I'm in charge_ Charge Nurse Donna on her back the whole shift, bossy cow was standing in for one of the flu victims and was making the buggering most of it by constantly picking on Molly. And then Tess had kept bloody saying stuff about how she had better be sure what she was doing, that even though he was sexy as fuck, moving in with Clarke as she called him was a bit of a dick move when she hadn't known him long and that she should be absolutely sure she wasn't just doing it to get back at the bossy cow and Tony. Molly had been incredibly glad she hadn't said anything about how Charles hadn't sounded very sure either, although he'd said over and over that he hadn't meant it, that he was just being an arse that day. What Molly really wanted was to feel excited at the thought of it, to feel like it was going to be a great big adventure like he did, but no-one else seemed to see it like that, and now here she was walking round the house they'd already looked at before and she was tired and bloody cold and a bit bored. She hadn't slept very well, had been dozing on and off and had then been wide awake ages before it was time to get up and had been fretting about how he was getting on with Daniel, that's if he'd even told him anything. Now they'd been walking around this bloody place for ages and her feet were sodding killing her so she took a deep shuddering breath and gave up trailing round after him to lean against one of the walls. He stopped and looked back at her with his eyebrows raised.

"You okay?"

"Yeah ….. tired … and it's bloody taters in 'ere"

"I know, we'll go in a minute, find somewhere for a cup of tea"

Molly muttered something which he took to be her saying okay and which probably was but she was too sulky and pissed off to be that bothered, so just moved to park her backside on the deep wooden window sill that Gavin had called a window seat and which in her opinion definitely needed some cushions or something because for a seat it was fucking uncomfortably hard on her bum. She made a sort of waving motion to tell him to just fucking hurry up with whatever it was he was doing because she was going to stay exactly where she was, none of this was her idea of fun. But Charles seemed to be happy as a pig in shit as he went striding round from room to room checking that the locks on the windows worked and that doors shut properly and then he started opening and closing the kitchen cupboards so that Molly began to wonder what the fuck he was looking for. She was just hoping and praying that he wasn't looking for signs of mice or rats or something because if he was she'd be the first one out of there. She'd rented houses, well one house, and hadn't done any of it. She could see the point of checking water was coming out the taps in the kitchen, just, not that she'd thought of doing it when she'd rented her house, but then he went and squatted down on his haunches to check the fireplace he'd been so interested in the first time they'd been there and even put his head inside to look up the chimney, although what he expected to see up there she'd got no bloody clue.

"Was everything okay, you know … with Daniel 'n that?" She knew she shouldn't ask, that he'd tell her if he wanted, but couldn't stop the little voice in her head that was pestering her to find out "Was a bit worried"

"Yup … it was all fine " He was still squatting in front of the empty fireplace, but put a hand down to steady himself and turned to look at her with a wide grin on his face, a grin that had the power to lodge in her heart as she swallowed hard and smiled back at him "And stop worrying … I've already told you …"

"I know, I know … no need …. but whether you like it or not, I can't 'elp it … I reckon I'm programmed like that …"

"I'm not sure anyone has ever worried about me like that before"

"'ere .." Molly swallowed again, there were so many questions lined up on her tongue, not least why he thought Rebecca hadn't worried about him, there were so many things she wanted to know, but they were the things that she wasn't sure he'd want to tell her "How come we've ended up back 'ere? … thought we'd already said no to this gaffe"

"I think they're desperate to get someone to take it off their hands…. " He laughed "Gavin keeps ringing and reducing the rent …"

"That should tell you some'ing …" Molly giggled, glad of the change of subject "Tell you what … you 'ang on long enough maybe they'll start offering to pay you"

"You do like this place though don't you?"

"Yeah …. Yeah …. course I do …" Molly smiled wanting to wipe away the worried frown that had made a sudden appearance on his face "Maybe not as much as you do …. still think it's a bit on the big side …."

"It's got plenty of space … I'll give you that … " He put his head back and laughed again "There's even room for my mother to stay without expecting her to share a room with Bella"

"WHAT?"

"You should see the look on your face …"

"Fuck off …"

"Sorry …." Charles' eyes were alight with amusement as he put his head on one side and looked at her, the smile fading as he watched her chew at her bottom lip, her expressive eyes suddenly huge. As a soldier he'd learned a long time ago to accept and appreciate the perks that army life had given him, to treat things as adventures and to enjoy them, most of all the feeling of family it had given him, but the reality was that that part of his life was virtually over. And he needed to face the fact that he couldn't just use this as some sort of distraction, that he had to be sure it was what she wanted and he wasn't just allowing his stubborn bossiness to push her into something she wasn't happy about. He paused for a heartbeat and then decided he had to ask.

"Are you absolutely sure that this is what you want?"

"What? Live 'ere?" Molly blinked and looked round the room.

"It doesn't matter where, that's not important …. I meant are you sure about … this …you and me?"

He got to his feet and walked over to where she was perched on the edge of the sill, with no hint of a grin on his face as he put his arms round her and pulled her to her . He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes momentarily when she nodded and let out the breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding in a deep sigh of relief.

Molly's eyes blatantly travelled over the hard dips and curves of his chest before she stood on tiptoe to reach up and touch her mouth to his. She wanted to kiss him properly, or to ask him to kiss her but it wasn't really the best idea she'd ever had, it was dark and gloomy and cold in there and one kiss was never going to be enough, and it definitely wasn't the right place for anything else. But either the expression on her face gave her away or the same thought occurred to him because his eyes went significantly darker as for a few humming, thumping heartbeats his lips were hovering a fraction away from hers before he lowered his mouth and her pulse scrambled into overdrive.

"Molly …." His voice was a husky groan that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside him as he shook his head, a huskiness that made her fling her arms round him and cling, then bury her face into his neck to inhale the smell of him. He tilted her face up to his and began to kiss her, kisses that were hot and needy and hard, searching kisses that drugged her senses, sensuous kisses that scorched her mouth and set the rest of her on fire. Kisses that wiped her brain of the power to think about anything except him as she pressed into him greedily, needing to feel every bit of his body against hers. Suddenly he was wrenching himself away and creating an unwelcome space between them and she felt his hot and ragged breath on her face as once again he rested his forehead against hers.

"What's the matter?"

"Christ Molly, you've got no idea what you're doing to me …." He took a deep breath "Come on … time to go I think"

"But … I don't wanna …."

"Neither do I ….but …. I think we should, this is not exactly ideal is it ….?" He looked around at the room which was decidedly gloomy as the light faded outside and felt chilly to say the least, definitely too chilly to do what he most wanted and remove her clothes, and his.

"Just kiss me …"

His hot and heavy arousal was very evident, as he shook his head, he knew that if he did what she asked they'd immediately pick up where they left off so sucked in great lungsful of air instead and closed his eyes, praying for some of the control he was in imminent danger of losing. But he was a very long way from being a saint and just because he knew what he _should_ do didn't mean he had the strength or the will to do it easily, not when she was all he'd been dreaming about for days. Saying the words "not here" was easy enough, but the reality of those words was a lot harder to accept when the only thing that mattered was Molly and when there was literally nowhere else they could go. A hotel was out of the question, it would somehow feel incredibly sleazy for the two of them to check in with nothing and then leave after an hour or so, but it would either be that or he'd have to leave her there afterwards and go back to base. For the same reason going to Molly's was out of the question, it would be as if he was only interested in being with her long enough to have sex. But he had no choice about leaving, there was a fucking mess dinner that evening and there was no way of getting out of it.

And there wasn't even anywhere to sit, apart from a hard wooden window seat that would almost certainly leave him with splinters in his backside or the filthy dusty floor, where thank fuck she hadn't noticed the massive spider's web in the corner. And he had no condoms with him, it was the wrong time and the wrong place and he wasn't prepared.

He leaned forward and gave her a little chaste kiss on the cheek.

"Is that it?"

Molly's green eyes were huge as she looked at him in a way that meant he was in danger of forgetting that they should just take the bloody keys back to Gavin and thank him for the unaccompanied viewing, that he would then go home and have a very long, and very cold shower.

"Come on, we've got to go … we need to get these bloody keys back" He adjusted the front of his combats and smiled ruefully shaking his head "I've got nothing with me Molly"

"Oh ….well …. you could just be careful …couldn't you?"

"Nope …. probably not"

"Sorry I forgot you're not the nuts at that are you?"

"Cheeky mare … it's not my fault it's yours …." He stretched and held out his hand for her to hold "I love you"

"I know you do ….I love you too …." She giggled softly "Are we going now, it's getting a bit bloody dark in 'ere innit?"

"In a minute, don't go anywhere …"

"No bleeding danger of that, it's creepy in 'ere … I can't see anything"

He reappeared with a candle stuck on a saucer and a box of matches that he'd noticed on his inspection of the kitchen cupboards and squatted in front of her resting one hand on her thigh before he turned his attention to trying to get one of the matches to light, something that wasn't easy so that he began swearing loudly every time it was too damp.

"Never 'ad you down as a roman'ic …"

"Didn't you? … doing my best … " He chuckled softly and nodded towards the candle with a triumphant grin on his face at the way he'd managed to get it alight so it was now flickering "Even if it is more power cut than romance … still it's good someone left it, it means I can see you …" He put his hand out and ran his thumb over her cheekbone before tilting his head to one side and raking the corner of his bottom lip with his teeth "Are we going to come and live here then? What do you think?"

"That's what you want, innit?"

"Well yep there is that …but I want to know what you want"

"Yeah … I mean, depends … you know I still gonna need to talk to the Social … 'n me Landlord …..… but …. long as you 'aven't got a warrant out for you or anything … and you're not on some register somewhere …. " She started to giggle as his eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up "Needs one or two things doing first though, dunnit?" Molly turned her head and looked round and shivered "Curtains … and … a bed?"

"Definitely a bed"

"Sorry, but mine isn't mine, I mean the sheets 'n that are, but the furniture come with the 'ouse"

"I thought a trip to IKEA …"

He had a huge happy smirk on his face which made her grin in return as he pulled her to her feet and looped his arms round her waist.

"What? … you wanna go on Sunday afternoon 'n 'ave a fight?"

"If you like …. but I thought we could perhaps skip the fight and go straight for the bit where we make up"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for all your reviews and comments and I am glad that so many people are still enjoying this ride … I hope that you continue to enjoy the way they are moving on … it seems like a long time since I began writing this (a year, would you believe) but their journey has only actually been a couple of months …. Will update as soon as I can … believe me I am on it xx**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Chapter 24**_

"James…"

"Sir …"

Charles sprang to his feet at the unexpectedly curt tone of Beck's voice, had for a second or two almost found himself standing to attention, it wouldn't have taken a genius to know that seven shades of shit were about to hit the fan. He had no idea what it was about, but the clipped use of his surname and the unsmiling expression on his face told Charles that whatever it was making the Major far from happy, it was obviously something to do with him.

Beck moved away from the table slightly and jerked his head telling Charles to follow "Do you have something you want to tell me?"

"Sorry Sir… but …um … about what?" Charles swallowed hard and added another _Sir_ for good measure, or at least on the principle that it couldn't hurt. He was wrong.

"That's what I'm waiting for you to tell me …." There was still no hint of a smile on his face "Perhaps you could start with what happened to the bot where you insisted that there was no problem, that you were going to handle it?"

Fuck. The sinking feeling in his guts was telling him he knew only too well what it was about and that Beck wasn't the only one who didn't like it, he didn't like being caught on the hop like this either. He could remember furiously insisting that he couldn't see any need for him to see anyone, least of all a fucking counsellor, and was totally unprepared for his own words to come back and bite him on the backside.

"I am handling it … Sir"

"Not from what I've been told … and ' _Sir- ing'_ me to fuck won't make it go away … my office first thing …"

Charles watched him march away, his poker up his arse stance showing the indignation that he felt, it would be obvious to anyone who was watching that the Major was deeply pissed off. Somehow he seemed to have got wind of what was on the cards and there was only one possible source for that. Bloody Daniel. Charles had no idea why he'd believed their conversations were confidential, because try as he might he now couldn't actually pinpoint when that had been spelt out. But it was what he'd understood. Wrongly as it turned out. It had always been obvious that Beck and Daniel had been in touch prior to the sessions, and to be fair it was only a couple of weeks since Charles himself had thought about trying to get Daniel on side to help him influence Beck, but he couldn't help feeling angry and _betrayed._ And left trawling unhappily through his memory bank looking to see exactly what else he might have said.

But at least he could stop trying to look as though he wouldn't, as Elvis used to say, give his right bollock to get out of there, that he wasn't bored shitless by the whole interminable evening. He no longer gave a rat's arse about stepping over the boundaries of protocol or tradition or some other written or unwritten bloody rule, as far as was concerned he was done, the evening was over.

If it wasn't that he knew she was almost certainly be catching up on her sleep he'd just piss off back to his quarters and ring her, to listen to her voice and the sound of her giggle when he flirted with her all of which would hopefully quell all the little doubts about whether or not he'd made the right decision in committing to her and that house. Although with her track record it was by no means certain he'd be disturbing her if he did ring, it was highly debatable whether her phone would even be on. Somehow everything that had happened, the aftermath of Elvis' death and PTSD seemed to have robbed him of any inclination he would once have had to join in with the drunken antics of his colleagues, although, despite his self-imposed limit, he was sorely tempted to have another drink before he left. A touch of alcohol induced sedation might not be such a bad thing, not if it meant he could sleep without lying wakeful in the small hours running it over in his head. He had no idea what the fuck he was going to say to Beck.

" _Sorry we can't take your call at the moment, please leave a message after the tone ….."_

Fuck. His frustration and irritation were beginning to get the better of him, even though he knew it was totally irrational, it was after all only what he'd been expecting before his mood had plummeted. What had arguably been one of the best days he'd had for a very long time had gone totally shit-shaped so that all the optimism he'd been beginning to feel had begun to seem totally misplaced somehow, buried in the black mood that had descended. He knew he was fuelling his anger by planning what to say to Daniel, but had every intention of demanding some sort of explanation as to what his particular brand of _you can tell me anything_ actually meant. It sure as hell didn't mean he could be trusted to keep things to himself, but first he needed to deal with the annoying little voice in his head that kept asking what the fuck he'd thought he'd been doing letting his guard down far enough for it to matter. He didn't know who to be more fucking furious with, Daniel for shooting his great big mouth off or himself for being so stupid. It had taken him a very long time to get around to trusting Daniel, and now it seemed his first instincts had been spot on.

-OG-

"What's up … what's matter?"

"Good morning …"

"Oh yeah, sorry …mornin' … what's wrong? You called me loads last night … but … me phone was off … sorry"

"As usual … have you ever considered that the whole point of having a mobile phone is so that people can get hold of you …..?" He took a deep breath, aware that he was in danger of allowing his frustrated irritation to get the upper hand again and that if he didn't get a hold on himself what was probably going to be a difficult day was going to start with a row. And none of it was her fault.

"No matter .. it really doesn't matter now …. I just wanted to talk to you … but I can't talk now … I've been summoned to see the boss …"

"Shit …. why… what you done?"

"Not really sure ….. but I'm sure it's nothing for you to worry about ….."

"Okay … fine …" There was a silence when all he could hear was her breathing "Alright don't tell me then … I wish you'd stop bloody treating me like I'm some sort of wimp"

"I wouldn't dare … and anyway the only thing that's wimpy about you are your biceps … and a bit of exercise will soon sort them out…"

"Cheeky sod … fuck off"

"Lovely … now I know I'm talking to my Molly…" She heard him laugh softly.

"Your Molly? Well, yeah I s'pose I am really …"She sounded as though the idea had only just occurred to her "Okay … be like that then, don't tell me if you don't want, but just remember he can't eat you …Okay? That's what me Nan always used to say when I was little 'n in the shit …. and you better ring me soon as you get out"

"It'll depend if he's already had breakfast …"She could hear that he was smiling "You just remember it'll help enormously if you keep your bloody phone on"

Molly knew from his voice that despite the huge effort he was making to sound normal, this wasn't just a walk in the bleeding park like he'd have her believe. There was something that felt wrong about the way he sounded so that she wished she was there and could see his smile and could smile back and then she could maybe stop feeling bothered. Scared. There was no real reason for her to feel jumpy, she just did, as well as feeling utterly useless that for some reason she knew there was something wrong and she had no idea what. Not that knowing would make much odds, even then there'd probably be nothing she could do to make it better.

He didn't know there was still a big grin plastered across his face, talking to Molly had somehow put the whole thing in perspective. She was right, but he'd wanted to make his own decisions in his own time, to make up his own mind and then control when and how he'd tell people, but if that was no longer going to be the way ot was going to happen, what the fuck could Beck, or anyone else for that matter, do if he decided the time had come for him to get out and do something different? He heard the rhythmic sound of Beck's boots approaching towards where he was waiting and straightened up from where he'd been leaning one shoulder against the wall while he'd talked to her, anyone caught slouching against anything was asking for Beck to demand to know whether they needed him to find them a fucking Zimmer Frame. It was one of his top ten pet hates.

"Charles…"

His voice was still curt and clipped but at least Charles was back to being Charles and was no longer defined by his rank or surname.

"Sir …"

For a long minute Beck stared eagle-eyed at the phone that was still in Charles' hand and then raised his eyebrows at the grin on his face as if he was about to say something, but then just nodded and waved his hand as Charles put the phone away, indicating there was no need for any formalities.

"Sorry if I kept you waiting"

He made a big show of checking his watch so that Charles was left struggling to work out whether he was being sarcastic about the phone, had genuinely decided to make this some sort of an old pal's chat regardless of respective rank, or whether he was waiting for the opportunity to pounce.

"Well now … let me see …" Beck nodded to indicate that Charles should sit down and then sat in his own chair and leaned forward with his elbows on his desk "Well … as our old pals the septic tanks would say this is a *SNAFU isn't it? A balls-up of the first order" He shook his head almost as though he was mind-reading what Charles had been about to say but his use of military slang made Charles sure he was deliberately trying to remind him of their shared history of four tours of Afghanistan "No … don't bother …" He put a hand in the air to halt whatever Charles had been about to say to him "I know you know what I'm talking about Charles … so let's forget the bullshit, I spoke to Daniel Nash yesterday or rather he spoke to me …. He told me he is concerned …"

"Is he? … what about?"

"I think you know … he's … concerned …. about your intentions and after hearing what he had to tell me, I have to say I agree with him, what the fuck is going on with you?" His eyes were piercing "And why the fuck didn't you come and talk to me before you made that sort of decision? I thought we'd known each other long enough for you to at least show me that degree of courtesy"

"I'm sorry … I obviously don't know what he's told you but I haven't made a decision … I haven't decided anything … nothing at all …. it's true I'm being forced to reconsider what my options are, but then you know that, and one of those is whether or not I should resign my commission … whether I should look for a change of career outside the army .. do something different with my life … but that's nowhere near being a certainty …"Charles swallowed hard and then carried on even though he was reluctant to put a name to it out loud "He's been pushing me to face the realities of living with … PTSD … and to look at what the options are … bearing in mind the limitations …" He was very conscious that he'd just dropped a hefty dollop of 'honest it wasn't me, Guv, it was him' into the conversation, something that made him cringe because he sounded like a bloody squaddie up on a charge but in this case it was true. And Daniel had bloody asked for it "But I haven't made a decision …I am still considering all my options"

"I take it then that your current role is not one you want to stick with in the long term … if going back is … going to prove to be …too _difficult?_ " Beck was suddenly conscious that this wasn't exactly a walk in the park for Charles, he could see from the face that he'd got to know very well indeed that out of habit he'd retreated behind his mask of unemotional indifference, that admitting he might struggle was very hard for the man he'd known for a lot of years. A man he'd always considered to be a rock.

"Nope … a desk job is really not my bag … not for me I'm afraid…"

"Right … but there are _alternatives_ you may not have considered"

"Sir?"

"I don't want to lose you, Charles, your expertise … your _experience …._ well, they're invaluable … but I can certainly understand there are issues you may find … difficult … given your history ..I don't need Nash to tell me that …" Charles caught the first tiny hint of censure in his voice "But I'm sure we can find a way of working around them …"

"What are you suggesting Sir?"

"Some kind of training role .. I know … Nash told me that you still have issues with anxiety, that you are living with PTSD, but you're an excellent Captain, Charles, an excellent soldier and … a very experienced trainer … you've done an excellent job in the past preparing squaddies for the realities of the shit they'll face … for … well for just about as long as I can remember …" He put his hand up again as Charles began to shake his head "I'm not talking about the battle specific training you've carried out in the past, the training that was focussed on periods of deployment where you would put it all into practice … I understand you've done your share … of … tours and that it's not for you any more, I'm talking about …. the sort of on-going training where any deaths are temporary … "

"I'm not sure what …. I don't know what to say Sir"

Charles ran a hand over the back of his neck, this wasn't what he'd expected at all and a short while back he'd have snatched Beck's hand off, the urge to do just that was still there, but, and it was a very big but, where was all this supposed to happen? Where? Anywhere near Salisbury Plain would be fucking brilliant, Warminster, Bulford, even Pirbright at a pinch, but apart from leaving Sam behind when he was just working things out, he couldn't just expect her to give up her job, pack up her belongings and her little family and traipse up the M1 after him to somewhere like Catterick for fuck sake. He couldn't expect her to start all over again miles away from everything and everybody she knew, not without at least asking her … but he also couldn't begin to think about what life would be like if he moved away and turned the clock back to a life without her in it.

"Have you got any idea where we're talking about … Sir? Only … I appreciate everything you've said, and certainly the … opportunity … but it's … not just what I want that matters"

"Ah … we're talking about your wife? If I remember rightly she isn't that keen on … but I am really glad to hear you've managed to patch things up with her and of course I understand that you need to talk it over with her before you make any sort of decision…."

"Nope, I'm actually not talking about my wife … we're .. not together anymore Sir" Charles shook his head knowing that although Beck had always been someone he could absolutely rely on when they'd been facing the Taliban in some shit-hole in Afghanistan, and in all the years since then, he'd never really been the sort of officer who got himself involved in peoples' private lives. He'd certainly never been one to sit and talk about _feelings_ for fuck sake, Charles knew he probably couldn't give two shits about his love life "Nothing has been patched up …" He put his head down but hastily lifted it to look Beck straight in the eye, he was not going to run the risk of looking shifty when he mentioned Molly "My wife and I are … are still sorting the divorce, but there is someone in my life that I have to talk to before I do anything else…"

"Ah … right … I see … well …. Okay …. Yup, look, as long as I am not wasting my precious fucking time here ….… I'll get back to you ASAP" He stood up, obviously as far as he was concerned the meeting was over "People I need to talk to"

"Thank you Sir …. And God no, you're not wasting your time"

-OG-

"I'll tell you when I see you, but really … it was nothing … honestly there's nothing to worry about"

Every instinct Charles had told him not to go rushing to tell her about something that was still actually only a vague possibility. This was the army, and no matter how much Beck wanted to organise things to his own satisfaction, to have them go his own way, he was a small cog in a vast machine and couldn't just manufacture a job out of thin air where there wasn't one. They both knew the reality was that it didn't work like that and there hadn't been anything like enough certainty about what Beck had said for him to start thinking about presenting it to Molly as a definite. He'd be better off waiting out until at least there was something definite to consider.

"So … not a bollocking then?"

"Nope …told you, I don't get bollocked" Charles laughed and pasted a smug smile on his face even though she couldn't see him before he changed the subject and laughed again "Do you want to come with me, I can pick you up and we can get some lunch somewhere and then go and make young Gavin's day, although I'm not so sure he's going to like my list"

"Do you ever work …. and what list?"

"Of course I work … and there are just a few odd and sods need sorting"

"What … like a quick re-build?"

"It's not that bad … is it? You sound … are you sure you like it?"

"I'm only kiddin' course I do"

"Good … right … it needs a bit of cleaning and chimneys sweeping and floors polishing, that sort of thing" He snorted another laugh "A bit of paint here and there wouldn't go amiss … clean the bloody windows so you can see out of them … just one or two little things .."

"As long as its got 'ot water"

"Of course its got hot water …"There was a long pause while he thought about it "I'll check"

"Good … you know he might not wanna do all them things … I mean, is it usual for people to want stuff doing?"

"He will if he wants me to give him a cheque" Molly remembered just how grateful she'd been to the bloody landlord for even agreeing to let her rent his house from him, she'd have kissed his boots if he'd wanted. It hadn't even occurred to her that she could have demanded that he do stuff to it before she moved in, he must have thought her pretty bloody stupid and naive "Hey … come on I'll pick you up, we can go together"

There was a sinking sensation in her stomach. She'd love to say she'd go with him, it seemed like it was a sort of coupley thing to do, but it was three days off payday and she hadn't got a bean left in the bank, January had been such a bleeding long month. Suddenly it all felt as though it was going a bit too quickly for her.

"Thanks I'd love lunch …. save me cooking but … I …were just thinkin' … do you think we should maybe wait out a bit … it all feels like a bit of a rush …. there's all this stuff to sort … we don't wanna be a bit previous"

"Are you trying to tell me you've changed your mind?"

"Nah … never said that … but there's stuff I need to do … I gotta check with Mar'ins teacher about whether he'd 'ave to change schools if we go and live in South Road … and I phoned his social worker but she weren't there … they've promised she'll get back to me …. dunno when … I gotta tell her a whole bunch of lies about what a fine upright citizen you are … you know that sort of thing …."

Even Molly could hear her voice was running out of steam and that she was beginning to sound as if she was making excuses, which if she was being honest was exactly what she was doing. Not that they were lies, she genuinely had things she had to do, but she didn't want to say anything about the great big issue of how much all this was going to cost. She had no idea what she was going to have to pay to get out of her current gaffe, whether she'd get her deposit back, and then there was her share of the new one, she had to know how much money she was going to have to find before she actually did anything stupid. Inside her head Molly knew she wasn't the _sensible_ person everyone said she was, she'd love to rush off and be all impulsive, do what he wanted, well what she wanted and to hell with it, but she'd had a gutful of making wrong decisions that had turned out to be shit.

"I see …" His voice had gone quiet and noticeably flat, all the enthusiasm and laughter wiped out "Okay … well if that's what you want …. maybe you're right "

"Nah … look … I didn't mean …"

"Save it … I'll be there in a minute"

-OG-

The minute he got out of the car the front door was almost flung off its hinges as she tore down the path and literally threw herself into his arms "Sorry, sorry, sorry, I never meant it to sound like I didn't want to …"

"Thank god for that … I thought you might have changed your mind about me" He leaned back but kept his arms firmly round her and smirked, as relief flooded through him.

"Nah … why would I? I never meant I don't wanna do it ….…. I do, I just 'ave to be sure ... there are things …"

"I know …" He tightened his arms round her "Am I going to get this kind of welcome every time I come home?"

"Might …" She grinned "But I need you to tell me 'ow much all this is gonna cost me"

"Don't worry about it …"

"Don't treat me like a bloody kid okay? I need to know, its worrying me and I'm not gonna live rent free, I always pay me way … otherwise I'm not doing it"

It had actually been on the tip of his tongue to joke and say she could pay in kind but fortunately some instinct for self-preservation had stopped him just before the whole thing had become a complete fucking disaster. It wasn't even as though he meant it, it was the pure relief at being wrong when he'd been convinced that she'd got cold feet to the extent of backing off at about a hundred miles an hour.

"Molly … look at me …" He put his hands on her shoulders and paused to look down at her bare feet on the front garden path and shook his head "Please …" She looked up at him "Now, are you listening? I don't want your money, I want you … so do me a favour and shut the fuck up will you …. and then we can get back to you being pleased to see me … and the bit where we go inside where it's a tad warmer"

"I am pleased to see you …." Molly reluctantly turned to go in "But… "

"I know you are … and never mind about _but_ …" He put his head on one side "Everything will be okay, okay?"

"Still not gonna live off of you … even if you are bloody loaded"

"No-one is saying you should … " He threw his head back and started to laugh "And what gives you the idea that I'm loaded, the way things are going I'll probably be living off you before very much longer …"

"Shit …"

-OG-

Somehow she ended up sitting on his lap on the sofa while he put his head back and sighed and found himself telling her how angry he was with Daniel. That the bloody man had spent months dishing out bollocks about it not being his job to tell him what to do, that he was only there to help him find suitable strategies to help him cope, and then as soon as he'd said anything to him, Daniel had gone behind his back and talked to Beck.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for your lovely comments and support, I can honestly say they are what keep me going and an especially big thank you to Flossy for being so patient and for the hot water…**_

 _ ***For those who haven't come across it before SNAFU is American military slang that stands for Situation Normal All Fucked Up**_


	26. Chapter 26

"Before we start, I should perhaps mention that I had a word with Major Beck …."

"Right …."

"The way I see it … part of my job is to do everything I can to make sure that any decisions you may take … are not …. a result of an … overreaction …" Daniel took a deep breath and continued as Charles stayed silent.

"In my experience a lot of people find it a real challenge when they are coming to terms with the ongoing nature of Post Traumatic Stress … with the day to day adjustments to their …. expectations … it can take a lot of time"

"Right …."

Charles knew his monosyllabic answers were making Daniel very uneasy, he could see from the look on his face and in his body language that he was very far from comfortable. And he couldn't quite meet Charles' eyes. But Charles was buggered if he was going to do anything to make him feel better, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't getting a certain amount of satisfaction out of it. He was pretty convinced that Daniel had only mentioned the conversation with Beck because he knew it wouldn't come as any sort of news, he would know that Charles already knew. Strictly speaking Daniel might not be a serving member of the armed forces, but he'd been working alongside them long enough to know how it worked, he knew enough to know that Beck wouldn't have wasted any time at all in hauling Charles' arse in front of him to explain himself. Daniel was right to be wary of his censorious manner.

He had been all for giving the little shit both barrels at what he saw as his complete lack of professional integrity, even though he could understand that he had felt the need to cover his own arse by talking to Beck. Or at least he could understand it once he'd calmed down a bit and had taken a step back to think about it, but he was still seething every time he thought about the way Daniel had fucked him over.

He'd been full of good intentions when he'd left Beck's office to drive to Taunton, had told himself there was little if any point in stirring anything up until there was something definite to know, that it would be far better to wait out before he told her about any of it all. But all those good intentions had disappeared the minute he'd begun telling her what Daniel had done and she'd stared at him with an expression of undisguised horror on her face and had reached up and put her hand gently on his cheek. Charles had leaned into it and had then seen her huge green eyes flood with what looked suspiciously like tears of sympathetic concern, something that had made him want to tell her everything. The way she'd looked at him had made him feel _cherished_ in a way no-one and nothing had ever done before he'd met her, until she pointed out that she thought Daniel had actually done him a favour. Not that she thought he'd been right in the way he'd gone about it, but that when he'd calmed down a bit he'd probably see that he should maybe be just a little bit grateful to him. Charles had just sat and stared at her for a minute in disbelieving silence before he'd slowly started shaking his head. He'd actually been hungry before they'd begun talking about what had happened, they'd been bickering about where to eat because Molly had insisted she was too Hank Marvin to bother with anywhere flash and anyway she didn't want to have to get tarted up. He'd laughed and said he needed a translator but that she was perfect as she was, but then suddenly all that appetite had completely vanished leaving him slightly nauseous and lost for words.

"Has the Major spoken to you about these plans of yours?"

Daniel seemed to have forgotten all about his penchant for playing games for the moment and was showing all the signs of doing his anxious best to gauge the depth of the shit he'd created for himself. He seemed for the moment to have forgotten how to hide behind his usual façade of solid unflappable counsellor, but Charles knew that was likely to be a very temporary condition, the man would no doubt bounce back to his usual insufferable self in no time.

"I think that was pretty much a foregone conclusion, don't you?"

He actually didn't care very much about the answer, as far as he was concerned Daniel might as well not bother with explanations or trying to come up with excuses, but there was this little demon sitting on his shoulder telling him not to let him Daniel off the hook. Not just yet.

"I'm guessing …. that you will have … spoken to him I mean …. I am very much hoping you'll see that involving Major Beck is a … very positive move …."

"Maybe…." Charles shook his head. He certainly didn't feel under any obligation to tell this irritating little man that his actions had been in any way helpful or a constructive move. It might well end up being that way, only time would tell whether his posting would turn out well, but Daniel had had no idea whether it was going to be a case of _all's well that end's well_ when he'd picked up that bloody phone, he'd have had no fucking clue what the result was going to be when he'd opened his big fat mouth. He'd done it because he was worried about potential repercussions if he kept what he knew to himself, and in the process had lost any trust or respect that might have been developing between Charles and himself.

"I think we're probably done here, don't you?" Charles looked at the resigned expression on Daniel's face and knew that he'd been expecting something like this, had been bracing himself "I don't know whether the Major has been in touch in the last few days, but I've spoken to him and he has agreed that circumstances being what they are there is very little point in me carrying on with these sessions….…I believe it was you who talked … about the importance of trust … and honesty ….…"

"I have to say I'm very sorry to hear it, I'm not sure …. But it is of course totally your choice and I hope you'll believe me when I say that I'm really sorry it's worked out like this … this is not the way I wanted …..."

Daniel shrugged and stopped talking, but didn't bother trying to bluff his way out or justify anything he'd done, even though he was kicking himself. He'd surprised himself with how sorry he was that it had ended like this and shook his head ruefully, but he'd known it was a mistake as soon as he'd put the phone down on Beck. Months of frustration and then just when he'd finally started to get somewhere, one impulsive act trying to make sure no shit came flying his way had led to it being a complete failure. He'd fucked it up.

"I really hope that it all goes well for you … I'm not sure what else I can say … except …. well, if you ever find yourself needing some … help … even if that's just someone to yell at, my door will always be open …" He pulled a face and shrugged "Probably so that you can keep walking past … but I really wish you all the best and hope …. well …"

He stood up and extended a hand in Charles' direction which Charles shook without any degree of hesitation. It had taken him a while to realise that although Daniel telling Beck was a betrayal of his confidence which had effectively made it impossible for him to feel any degree of trust, Molly had been right. It had also been the catalyst for him being able to sort out a future that had him happily looking forward. Going back on active duty would have almost certainly ended in a fucking disaster.

"I'll remember"

OG-

Chapter 26

"Bulford … then probably Westdown Camp"

Charles' bloody inscrutable Mr Grumpy stern mask wasn't quite as inscrutable these days, she was beginning to able to see when he was happy and the wide grin on his face when he said he'd seen Beck told her just what good news he thought it was. He wasn't hiding his feelings anything like as much as he had and the more time she spent with him, the easier it got to read how he felt about things, which was sometimes a bit of a mixed blessing.

"Where's Westdown when it's at 'ome? Never 'eard of it"

"Tilshead …"

"Where?"

"It's on Salisbury Plain …"

"Well, that's alright then, that's good innit?.." Molly thought for a second "Still a bit of a bloody long commute though …"

"Indeed …. But you're worth it …" He laughed "Most of the time"

"I am aren't I?" Molly smirked "Cheeky sod"

"Yup … but you do know I will still have to go away sometimes, don't you, days at a time …sometimes weeks …. training camps … Wales, Norfolk….."

"I'll try not to miss you too much" Molly giggled making it plain she wasn't being serious "That'll be alright won't it? Bit like 'aving little holidays … 'n at least you won't 'ave to spend all your time ducking while people try and shoot you will you?" She was chewing her bottom lip, trying very hard not to grin and failing "I s'pose it depends how much they 'ate you? All that shouting and bossy shit you do …"

"I do not shout …."

"If you say so …. still you're a big boy now …"

"Stop imagining me naked and concentrate …. Have we got this list of what we need to get …"

-OG-

" What you doing … thought we was going to IKEA"

"That was before I saw this fucking queue …"

He'd huffed and shuffled impatiently a couple of times and had craned his neck trying to see how long the queue actually was and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel before flicking on the indicator to turn round and head back towards the exit. He cancelled it with a deep sigh when he heard the little snort that turned into a giggle she couldn't quite smother as she muttered something about getting into the place always taking a while, she'd bloody forgotten the parking could be a bit of a challenge all on its own. Tony always used to end up totally losing his shit before they even got in the door.

"This bloody queue is just to park the car for fuck sake … who are all these people? Haven't they got something better to do?"

"Nah … 'n it won't kill you … come on 'ave a bit of patience"

"I've had a bit of patience … and now I want to go somewhere else, we've got a lot to do"

"Won't make any odds where we go … there's gonna be loads of people everywhere … don't you know that's what Sunday's are for? That's why everyone ends up getting all shitty 'n 'aving a fight" Molly giggled again when he swore at the driver who'd zipped in behind them to steal the parking space Charles had found when he'd spotted someone else getting ready to leave "Oi … what the fuck ..? A _rsehole_ "

"Nice …." Molly shrugged and giggled at the expression of outrage on his face "You gotta be quicker than that … 'n don't look at me like that … not my fault …"

Charles had come armed with a very comprehensive and detailed list designed to make sure they wouldn't get sidetracked or go off at tangents to look at things they neither needed nor particularly wanted, whereas Molly was a seasoned IKEA shopper. In her experience you only really know what you want when you get in there and start looking at all the stuff you hadn't noticed on their web-site, stuff you'd swear blind wasn't even on it. And even if it was, you couldn't tell whether you wanted it when you were looking at little pictures on a screen, everyone knew that. You had to walk round and take your time and _look._

"Whose idea was this?"

They'd been looking at huge piles of curtains for what felt like hours, and it wasn't as if he particularly cared which ones they bought in the first place. They all looked the same to him. He just wanted Molly to choose and then they could go.

"Yours…"

"Was it? Are you sure?"

"Yeah .."

"We could go home and do the rest on your lap top … I know … let's go and get coffee"

"Can do if you want … but … warning you, you won't like it…..bloody sure it won't be that poncey shit you drink…you'll be moaning about that next … and okay, we can go 'ome 'n do the rest, but only if I get to pick"

"Of course you get to pick and I'm not moaning … I'm enjoying every minute" He raised his eyebrows and smirked just to make sure she was in no doubt that he was being sarcastic.

"Liar …"

Molly knew he was pretending a degree of reluctance that he didn't feel or was at least exaggerating and that he was actually enjoying himself playing the martyr who hated shopping so that he could wind her up. But the familiar twinkle in his eye when she looked at him was sending pangs of happiness through her, she was beginning to feel that she knew him. She looped her arm through his and then looked up and fluttered her eyelashes then took a deep breath before going into her best full-on _wheedling_ mode.

"Charles?.."

"What?"

"Alright don't 'ave to sound like that … grumpy …. ummm … think we might gonna 'ave to go back down that way a bit, we seem to 'ave missed some stuff"

"Oh shit, you're joking … please tell me you're joking"

They turned and began to go back the way they'd come against the never-ending stream of people obediently following the coloured direction lines. Having to dodge round people meant he kept putting his arm across trying to slow her down to politely let the hordes of people get past while he heaved great big sighs and did the eye rolling thing that he'd learned from her. Molly nudged him hard with her elbow and began to push her way through. She that he liked to think he was the organised one who had things under control but he had a hell of a lot to learn about tactics when you shop somewhere like IKEA. Being polite was all very well and good and lovely and nice but only if you had all afternoon to waste getting what you wanted and then getting out of the place. It wasn't his thing shoving his way through anywhere, she knew that he was more used to acting like a gentleman, but the alternative was to drag him all the way to the entrance to start all over again which she thought might well be pushing her luck.

"'ave you done moanin' yet?"

"Depends … have we _done_ shopping … yet?"

"Nah … and stop looking at me like that …" Molly giggled as Charles adopted his pleading puppy dog expression "I'm immune …"

"You're a hard woman … come on, Dawsey, focus …. by the way, what are we actually looking for? Because whatever it is, let's just get what you want and go home"

"We 'aven't got a 'ome … not yet …so does that mean I can get these then?"

"You know what I mean ….. What the fuck are they for? It's not Christmas … oh sorry, are they for Martin?"

"Nah … he'd say they was too girlie … nah … they're sort of …. for me" Molly had thought twice about whether it would be a good ide to drag him back to the bit where they sold lights. There was a good chance he might genuinely be getting a bit pissed off with pushing round the place, but she really wanted them and hadn't considered until that moment that wanting to buy fairy lights might make her look a bit like she was Martin's age "Got them in me bedroom at 'ome"

"Really?" He lifted his eyebrows hoping she'd remember without prompting that he'd been in her room and there wasn't a sign of any fairy lights that he'd seen "I didn't notice"

"Nah … not there … me room at 'ome … me and Bella had 'em, and then when we moved we left them there … and even if we hadn't I'd of give them to 'er" Molly looked at him for a second and then bit her lip "It's a bit bloody daft innit?"

"Nope … if you want them, get them … I want you to be happy, I'll be happy whatever you decide … you can string lights round every inch of the bloody place if it makes you happy … just as long as we can get out of this fucking hell-hole …"

"I thought you knew about IKEA, we gotta go and collect our stuff now 'n then pay for it … and 'ope we can fit it in the car …"

"What?"

"It's all flat pack innit ….. you put it in your car and take it 'ome … and then when you get it 'ome you can start putting it together …"

"Can I? How lovely … if there's not enough room we'll have to leave you here and you can walk …. I'm the driver" Charles paused "They do deliver I take it?"

"Yeah … it'll cost you mind"

"Lovely … I don't care how much it costs, let's go and pay and then I can get out of here"

-OG-

The boys had been under the supposedly watchful eye of Bella who'd spent the entire afternoon on her phone screaming obscenities at her current boyfriend as they had a blistering row. Sam and Martin had made the most of the opportunity by sitting quietly in his room pigging out on cupcakes and coke so they were now both as high as kites on a surfeit of sugar. Charles was fighting a losing battle trying to get Sam to get his stuff together while Martin egged him on.

"Come on, I'm not going to tell you again, Sam, we have to get going … we've got to be at Gran's before your mum arrives to get you"

"That's it Clarke, you tell 'im … Mar'n I'm not gonna tell you again neither, gonna get cross in a minute, you're not being funny"

"Molly, why do you call my Dad Clarke? His name's not Clarke, its Charles"

"I know mate … but Tess at work says he's Clarke Kent, you know …. _Superman_? That he goes round rescuing people off of burning buildings … that sort of thing … course I know he's not really … he can't fly can he?…"

"You're funny …. Do you know …. My dad does rescue people …. He got shot rescuing some? He calls it his war wound …"

"Yeah, I know he told me … good job I didn't know that when I first met 'im, I'd 'ave been bothered about going anywhere with 'im in case I 'ad to carry 'im … 'es a bit big inne?"

"How kind of you to say so … but what have I told you about …. looking …. and… imagining … things" Charles was guffawing as Molly giggled, glad the boys had no idea what he was talking about "Come on then Meghan … we've got to go and you've got to shop …"

"Her name's not Meghan, its Molly …" Martin was giggling as much as Sam, even if neither of them had the faintest idea what they were laughing at.

"Is it? Are you sure? No …. she told me her name was Meghan" Charles pretended to be shocked and outraged and raised his eyebrows "I can't believe it, she said she was Meghan Markle"

"Nah she never … her name's Molly"

"Yeah I did actually, but I thought he was a murderer who was gonna do … _murdery_ …. things to me, 'n I thought …well I thought he might not if he knew Prince Harry would come and get 'im"

"That's all the thanks you get for rescuing someone … and what sort of word is _murdery_ for f.. goodness sake?"

"You know … _murdery_ ….…"

"No I don't know …" Charles was laughing as he checked through Sam's back pack trying to see if he'd got everything, he had no wish to be on the receiving end of Rebecca going into orbit about him leaving something vital behind.

"You got everything?"

"Yup … " Charles handed Molly his credit card and bent his head to make sure the boys couldn't hear what he was saying "See you later?"

Molly took the card and nodded but said nothing, neither of them wanted the boys to know that Charles had every intention of coming straight back after he'd delivered Sam to Rebecca. Dragging Sammie away was hard enough as it was and if he knew his father was coming back there would be a serious meltdown to deal with. From both the boys, who'd got emotional blackmail off to a fine art in a very short passage of time.

Charles leaned forward again and kissed her cheek, and then slid his mouth round to her ear and whispered so that the boys couldn't hear him, his breath hot against her skin.

"You're doing it again …. you're thinking about me being naked …"

"Nah I'm not … 'n stop being weird ….and …. _stalkery_ " Molly giggled "And why would I? you know, you're only average … nothin' special"

"Oh god, first _murdery_ now _stalkery_ and then nothing special …" Charles stuck his hands in his pockets and laughed "I'll have you know I'm a respectable upstanding member of her Majesty's Armed Forces, just ask Social Services, they'll tell you"

"I know they will, I was the one told them the lies"

He was walking backwards towards the door with his hands still in his pockets as his eyebrows shot up in exaggerated comic disbelief. There was a huge happy grin plastered all over his face.

-OG-

Rigid disapproval was leaking from every pore as Caroline stalked into the kitchen and then stalked back out again as he stood leaning against the worktop finishing a cup of coffee before he set off back to Taunton. Hard as he was trying to ignore her, it was obvious there was something she was longing to say but that she was equally determined to wait until he asked what was wrong. Eventually he gave in, although not in a tone of voice that she found acceptable.

"What? WHAT?"

"Don't use that voice when you talk to me, you are not talking to a group of your men now"

"I haven't got any men" Charles knew he sounded like a sulky schoolboy, but she bought out the worst in him "Okay … that's it, what's wrong?" He put his cup down "Is that better?"

"Now you're being sarcastic … I'm just concerned that's all"

"No need … as you can see I'm fine … now is that it, because I need to get going?"

"Charles …please tell me that Sam's got this all wrong … this girl …. "

"What are you talking about Mum?"

"It's the same girl isn't it, the one who was here Boxing Day? Well alright …. you've made your point…"

"What point is that?"

"For heaven's sake Charles …. You're not seriously considering … she's ….. got tattoos … for heaven's sake"

"Has she? Bloody hell …"

"Don't be smart …. and don't swear … it's not funny, and don't even think of saying you hadn't noticed …"

"Okay I won't"

"And sarcasm doesn't suit you … Sam tells me that her and her little boy are moving in ….that you're going to be living together … I mean what about Sammie in all this? What about your _son_ for heaven's sake?"

"What about him? I think you already know that Sam loves Martin, and he adores Molly …."

"He's a child Charles … he doesn't know what …"

"Not that it's any of your business, but Martin is Molly's brother .. not her little boy, and she takes care of him because he's _family,_ and her little sister as well …" He knew he was giving his mother the distinct impression that Bella was a child, not a stroppy little madam of almost twenty with a mouth on her who often drank far too much "I never wanted Sam to be an only child like I was, Mum, to have school …. and nothing much else … now … is there anything else … no? Good" He gave a short laugh and patted his pockets to check he had his phone and then picked up his keys.

"Rebecca won't like it you know…. she's already worried about Sam picking up … habits …" Caroline shook her head "I just hope it won't affect your time with him"

All his life he'd watched his mother look with disdain at people who didn't quite measure up to what she'd decided were acceptable standards, Elvis used to laugh behind her back when she did it to him. But her opinions had ceased to mean anything to Charles by the time he left school, even if he had avoided having outright rows with her. He'd found a degree of satisfaction instead in remaining cool and calm while showing a polite disinterest in most of what she had to say. But this wasn't funny.

"Mum … listen to me ….. are you listening? Nothing … and I mean _nothing_ , is going to interfere with my time with Sam, not Rebecca, not you, nothing … Rebecca and I might not be together anymore but we both want what's best for him and he needs both of us … so don't even think of trying to interfere or cause trouble … Molly and her family are my family now … which means they are Sam's family as well"

"She definitely saw a meal ticket in you, didn't she? For her and her siblings … oh no … please don't tell me … she's pregnant, isn't she? She's trapped you … you stupid … you're supposed to be intelligent, Charles, I can't believe you could be so _stupid_ "

"Thanks for that … but if Molly was pregnant, it would be the very best thing I can think of … " Charles shook his head slowly from side to side "You know Mum, she isn't going anywhere, not without me she's not …. and if you want to be part of things in the future … for me r for Sam and any other children I might have, you need to get your head out of your arse and think very hard …. don't ever think you can make me choose, because you definitely won't like the outcome" Charles picked up his keys "Where's dad by the way, is he avoiding you as well?"

-OG-

"Hello … how was Mommy Dearest?"

"The usual … give me a hug" He pulled her close.

"That good?"

"Yup … now please tell me Bella has made up her fight with whatshisname and that I can have you all to myself?"

"Well … I'll tell you that if you like …. but it'd be a bloody great lie" Molly tilted her head to indicate the sitting room "She's in there drinking herself to bits"

"Oh shit …" He tightened his hold on her and then leaned back to look at her face as she smiled up at him "My mother thinks you're pregnant … you're not are you?"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for your ongoing support and reviews … I know I keep saying it, but they really do mean the world to me. I really hope that you enjoyed the trip to IKEA as much as I enjoyed writing it, it is dedicated to anyone who's ever dragged their significant other round one of these places on a Sunday afternoon.**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Chapter 27**_

She woke with a start, all sweaty and anxious with her legs tangled up in the duvet. She wasn't sure exactly what had woken her but there was this horrible quivery feeling in the bottom of her stomach, a bit like a sort of sick dread about something and just for a moment she wasn't sure what it was. Then reality arrived and she stopped trying to drop off again, it wasn't that she wasn't looking forward to it, she was, or thought she was, but she was sort of dreading it as well, her bloody head was all over the shop.

And she'd been having this really horrible crappy dream, the sort you're glad to wake up from, where she'd been looking everywhere for him and then she'd see him in the distance and he was jerking his head impatiently telling her she had to hurry up and so she'd be running as fast as she could to get there and then just when she was about to catch up, he'd vanish and she'd be left looking for him all over again. And the rain was hammering on the window. Today of all bloody days it was only sodding well raining, which felt horribly like it might be some sort of omen.

She had no idea what time it was, except it was early, was still dark so there was a chance it might clear up before they had to get their stuff out into the street, she really didn't fancy dodging in and out and trying not to let everything get bloody well soaked. They hadn't got enough stuff to make it worth getting a van or any help or anything, she'd told Charles she was perfectly capable of managing, but that was when the plan had been to use a dodgy old transit that belonged to one of Bella's on-off boyfriends. But then the two of them had had this huge falling out about something so he definitely wasn't going to let them borrow it now, and it hadn't mattered how much Molly had tried to persuade her sister to make up with him, just till they'd moved would do, Bella had stubbornly dug her heels in and refused, so Molly had to back down and arrange for lots of supermarket cardboard boxes and bin liners to go in the back of Charles' car instead. All she could hope was that the boxes didn't get wet enough to fall to bits and make a mess of his precious upholstery.

She wished he could have stayed the night before and then he'd have been there when she woke up, there'd be his familiar smell and she could have cuddled up and listened to his heart beating and would have known straight away that it really had been just a shitty dream. And she could have listened when he told her again that she was worrying for nothing. Again. It didn't matter how many times he'd said she was being a muppet, there was still this little _niggle_ telling her he was going to end up being sorry, that he was going to regret all this. She'd been worried he would regret her ever since his mum had said about her being pregnant and she'd told him it wasn't going to happen. That she'd made up her mind a long time ago that she wasn't going to have any kids, not that she couldn't have any, she didn't tell him that because she had no reason to think it was true, well, no more reason than anyone else anyway, but she'd told him she was never going to risk ending up like Belinda. He'd just looked at her with his serious face on and had put his hands on her shoulders to rest his forehead against hers and say quietly that he loved her and that nothing was ever going to change that. She'd found herself telling him all about it, about how bloody angry her dad had been and how he'd yelled at her over and over that it was all her bloody fault, that she was the reason and that if it hadn't been for her then her mum wouldn't have gone funny. Underneath she'd known he was just looking for something or rather someone to kick and that it wasn't really her fault, it wasn't anyone's fault, not even his although Nan had gone ballistic and told him that he was the only one to blame, that it was his fault for being a wanker. That wasn't true either, but Nan had been standing up for her. Charles never said a word about what a prize dick her dad was, well, she knew that anyway, and how none of it was her fault, she knew that too when her head was on straight, he'd just stood there and held her and whispered over and over again how much he loved her until the tears had stopped leaking from her eyes. Then he'd leaned back to look at her and had stroked her hair back from her hot damp face and used his thumbs to wipe away the tears that had escaped, he'd told her he was never going to let anything bad happen to her. Molly knew in her head that no-one, not even him, can promise anyone anything like that, it only took a few hours on a hospital ward to see that, but somehow she knew that he meant every word he'd said. And he never said a word either about her and the 2.4 kids. Tony had known exactly how she felt about all of it and had only said what he'd said to try and hurt her, which he had, but it was as if Charles knew without her telling him that if she had to talk about all that again, explain why he'd said it, she'd end up bawling.

The last few days had been frantically busy, full of getting everything done and organised, and packed, arranging for things to be disconnected and paid for and generally sorted as well as having to constantly reassure Martin that everything was going to be brilliant. She'd had to work long days to get the next week off to move and they were dead busy at work so she was bleeding knackered as well, and Charles had had all this stuff he had to do to sort things for his move to Bulford, so there hadn't been any time for them to see one another. That really hadn't been all that different from normal, it was always bloody hard what with everything, but in spite of that and that the two of them texted all the time she'd found herself missing him badly and beginning to panic a bit about all of it. Whether any of it at all was the right thing for her to be doing. Somehow he seemed to know that her bloody feet were getting colder by the minute and had rung her just to tell her how much he loved her and how much he was looking forward to the next day and all the other days.

He had been a tiny bit on the grumpy side himself the night before, not with her, but about how far behind his schedule he was, how he hated not being properly organised so that Molly had ended up trying to make him laugh. She'd giggled that not one of his precious lists and plans and schedules had made a scrap of bleeding difference when he had to put a bed up so that he could get in one. When he was already bleeding knackered. It had taken him a hell of a lot longer than he'd made time for just to put the last bit of flat pack together but he was a stubborn bugger and wouldn't leave it. Molly had found out the hard way when she'd tried to help him with one of them that he wasn't at his sunny best when he was struggling with bits that didn't seem to fit anywhere. She was never going to offer again. She really had been doing her best, had looked through the instructions and chipped in with helpful little suggestions, at least she'd thought they were helpful, but he'd turned into Captain Bloody Stern-Face and had gone all sarcastic and moody on her. He'd ended up swearing and losing it, and she'd got up and flounced out and had left him to it, it was either that or giving in to an almost overwhelming temptation to throw something at his head.

She'd done most of the packing up of their stuff, had given up waiting for Bella to help because she knew her sister and knew it was odds on that she was actually lying on her bed talking to one of her mates and would be doing her best to avoid having to do anything. Which wouldn't have mattered that much except it left Molly with far too much time on her own to go over and over it in her head. For about the five millionth time. She kept telling herself that whatever happened, even if it turned out to be the biggest bollock she'd ever dropped and even if he did turn out to be Tone Mk2, she would be alright, because the one thing she did know was that she wasn't the same needy Molly she'd been when it had all gone to shit with Tony. And even if it did go wrong this time there was no bloody Donna hanging about to rub her nose in it.

It was still far too early for a shower unless she wanted Martin up and about and pulling his stuff out again, which she definitely didn't, so all that was left was for her to cram her bedding and pyjamas into the black bin bags with the rest of her worldly goods and she'd be good to go. She couldn't help feeling a bit sad that it was the last time she was ever going to make that first cuppa in this house. And looking at all their stuff stacked up against the wall there was something a bit bloody bleak about seeing their lives all stuffed into cardboard boxes. It made her want to cry a bit, she was going to miss living where they'd been happy. Mostly. It had been an escape for the three of them from all the shit of being at home with their dad, and all the trouble with the Social and their mum, well an escape from everything really, except of course for when Tony had dumped her. But Molly was determined that the memories of all that were the past, she wasn't going to think about how hard it had been, but was going to concentrate on being happy, something she'd thought was never going to happen.

She started to do one last little check through the boxes, just to make sure because as fast as she'd put what was theirs in one Martin had kept putting things in that belonged to the bloody landlord so she'd had to keep taking them out again and yelling at him to stop being helpful. There was no way she was going to risk forfeiting any of her deposit because Martin had some genetic link to Nan which made him intent on nicking stuff. Whatever Charles said, the money was already earmarked to go for paying for some of the stuff they'd bought. Although she did think she might just possibly keep a little bit and get some new bras and knickers, then she could chuck out her sad, greying and horribly unsexy ones now that someone who wasn't her was going to see them.

It was pitch dark outside and the curtains were still shut but as soon as she saw the headlights she knew without looking that it was him and almost broke her neck in her desperate rush to get to the door before he could knock or anything. She wondered how the fuck he'd known she wouldn't still be tucked up fast asleep like any sensible person, silly bugger could well have ended up sitting in the car for bloody hours.

"What you doing 'ere at this time?"

He pretended to look at his watch and raised his eyebrows, then smirked and shrugged.

"Oh shit, don't tell me you get up this time every day?"

"Absolutely … best bit of the day …" Charles looked at his watch again then smirked again before he bent to kiss her and then turned to shut the front door, the rain was showing no signs of easing off, if anything it was pissing down even harder "I've come to collect you so we can go for a run …" He chuckled and kissed her again on the other cheek "Start as we mean to go on… and you'd have known I was on my way if you ever switched your fucking phone on … listened to your messages"

"I was asleep …" Molly giggled "Okay might 'ave forgot … sorry, I mean … I'd love to go out for a run with you, you know that, but … well … me stuff's all packed innit? … even me shoes I'm afraid … so …. sorry …" The best wide-eyed innocent expression she could conjure up and the accompanying giggle showed that she wasn't in the least bit sorry.

"Nothing wrong with what you've got on .." He smirked and held her at arm's length, then looked her up and down and pretended to be leering at her tight little black shorts and red tank top and then looked down at her bare feet "As long as you don't put your stilettos on … it'll be fine"

"Well … I would … but I 'aven't got any …"

"Haven't you? That's a shame"

"Pervert … and it's bleeding pissin' down .."

"And?"

"And …. why are you really 'ere?"

She leaned back and blatantly checked him out in the same way that he'd done to her.

"And don't tell me you was going out running … not like that you wasn't"

Molly raised her eyebrows at his jeans and at the long sleeved 't' shirt that looked as if it could well be part of his army kit and then looked up at his face. She might know his face a hell of a lot better than she had, but she still got this little shock of how good looking he was every time she looked at him, he was one of the best looking blokes she'd ever clapped eyes on. Especially when like now, his jaw was dark with stubble and he was biting his bottom lip with his white teeth as if he was trying his best not to laugh. She was filled with a lovely happy stomach churning feeling of excitement and anticipation.

"What _you don't believe me_? Okay … well, let me see now … because … I'm a soldier and soldiers get up early …" He paused and smirked as she muttered 'shit' "You'll get used to it" He stopped laughing and smoothed a strand of her hair back behind her ear, his face suddenly serious "And that house … that bed … feels very big and very empty and very lonely without you in it … I wanted to see you"

"I said didn't I? Told you it was too big …." Molly giggled and thought about the rest of what he'd said "Do you mean that?"

"Which bit?" He laughed "Of course I mean it … now … chop, chop, we need to crack on, lot to do today"

"Yes Boss … that's not very roman'ic is it?"

"I'm not your boss …" He said it as if he'd said it a million times before, which he had "Tell you what …. let's leave the romantic until a bit later on shall we? At least until after I've had a little word with young Gavin about the hot water situation …"

"Oh shit … what's wrong with it?"

"Apart from there not being any? The heater doesn't work so he needs to get his bloody finger out and sort a plumber …. asap …. or an electrician … or both for fuck sake" He paused and pretended to sniff his 't' shirt "So that I don't stink"

"Wondered what the smell was …." Molly giggled "Nah, not really you're alright …. But don't yell at him will you, he's scared of you …"

"So he bloody should be …" Charles snorted "He's lucky he's not one of mine, he'd be doing latrine clean with his tongue for the rest of his fucking life ….."

"You can be really scarey … do you know that?"

"Me? Nope, never …"

-OG-

"Nah ….nah … I already said nah … no creepy crawly things … unless they're already dead … 'ave already got hit on the 'ead with a newspaper or smacked with me slipper"

Charles and Martin had been having an in-depth and seriously straight-faced discussion about the attractions of keeping a tarantula in a cage, which Molly was pretty sure was designed to wind her up. Although to be fair to Charles it was probably as much about distracting Martin from his grump at having to go back for yet another load of stuff than anything else. Charles knew how much she hated spiders, let alone huge hairy ones, that she would always hide behind a cushion when there was anything like that on television.

"Right, so let me see if I've got this right? No dogs or cats…. " Charles laughed "I can see that, with everyone out all day … and no spiders or snakes … and no rats or mice … not even a guinea pig …"

"Guinea pigs are just fluffy rats … nah ..."

"I know … how about we get a goat … they have them a lot in Afghan and it'll eat that bloody garden …"

"You're not funny … nothing with 'ooves …" She had a sudden memory of Martin and Sam hatching a plan to persuade them that they needed a pony, or a donkey "Nothing that needs shit cleaning up, do enough of that at work …."

"That cuts down the options somewhat … and the shit would be good for the roses …"

"What roses? .." Molly was now giggling "'ere, 'ow about a goldfish? … they don't take a lot of looking after so won't matter it'd be on it's own all day"

"There could well be roses under that lot … could be all sorts" He caught himself about to say that there could even be a body or two when he remembered that Martin was in the car and was listening. The garden at the house was an overgrown jungle "Remind me to call young Gavin and ask when this bloke is supposed to be coming to sort it out" He pretended to be pondering her suggestion about a goldfish "Hmmm … goldfish ….. Lovely …. But you can't play with a goldfish Molly … can't take it for a walk … or give it a cuddle …."

"You're not helping … can't get nothing what needs a lot of looking after neither … its cruel …"

Molly had given up pulling her 'please could you shut the fuck up' face at Charles, she'd been doing it for ages in the hope that he'd take the hint and change the subject, but he didn't seem to realise that Martin had the memory of a bloody elephant and would never let it go. It wasn't that she didn't want him to have something to help him settle, she knew how much he wanted a pet, but sharing it with Sam was most probably a recipe for trouble. Sam was already a little bit pissy and hard-done-by that he had to be at school all week and anyway wasn't even going to live with them like Martin. Not even every weekend, so having a shared pet would do nothing to make any of that any better.

"I know … how about a rabbit …"

"You can clean it out … " She pretended to be seriously considering the suggestion, which actually wasn't a bad one, she quite liked the thought of a little fluffy white rabbit "Can you get a flat pack 'utch?"

The rain had been relentless all day and as the afternoon wore on it had turned bitterly cold as they set out on their fourth and hopefully final trip to get the last of their belongings. Martin had got sulky and huffy and fed up with having to keep going backwards and forwards instead of finishing organising and arranging his stuff, the novelty had well and truly worn off which was why Charles was now doing his best to distract him. He knew that Martin was getting on Molly's nerves with his constant whining that it wasn't fair. But there was no choice, they had to go and get the last of their stuff and do the inventory walk-through with the agent and Martin couldn't stay behind because Bella had already chucked everything in her room and pissed off somewhere, shutting the door on the mess. Something which Molly felt was probably just as well because there had been several times during a very long day when she'd wanted to kill her sister. She wasn't exactly pulling her weight, was more like throwing her weight around and being _embarrassing._

-OG-

She couldn't help thinking that things weren't exactly going the way they'd planned, or the way that she had anyway. Their first night in their new home was beginning to look more like it was all going to be a bit shit. They were both a bit grumpy and dog tired and grubby, ready to bicker and argue about just about anything and everything, or she was anyway. There were no curtains up in any of the rooms because the curtain poles didn't fit or they didn't have the right fixings or something and although the plumber had got the hot water working, he'd said they were going to need a new boiler almost immediately because he couldn't guarantee how long it was going to stay working which wasn't what they'd wanted to hear. Still that was more good news for Gavin. And she was shattered. Even though the fish and chips had been good and Martin had gone to bed with no fuss she was beginning to think they were going to be too tired for anything but sleep.

"'ere…"

She nudged his knees further apart and stood in between them to hand Charles a cup of coffee where he was slouched on the new sofa trying to decide whether he had enough patience to have a go at tuning the television.

"Mind … don't spill it …that sofa's new you know…?" She stuck her tongue out at him and then giggled at the expression on his face "You okay?"

"How do I look …?"He lifted the cup and took a sip with his eyes shut in appreciation then put the cup on the floor and put his head back and laughed "Now come here and give me a hug … I never want to see another bit of flat pack furniture or box of saucepans as long as I fucking live, okay?"

"Okay ….'n that's a quid for Sam's sweary jar"

The previous weekend Sam had suddenly announced in his very poshest voice that his Gran had said they would need a sweary jar for their new house. Even though she was pretty certain she'd never said anything in front of Caroline that she could use as evidence, mainly because she'd hardly spent any time with her, Molly had known instantly that the comment was directed at her. Charles had said not but had taken instant exception to what his mother had said.

"I've got a fucking good mind to go and have a little word … how dare she involve Sammie in her stupid bloody nonsense …"

"Nah, you're alright … just ignore it … or at least wait till you've calmed down a bit … do some of them breathing exercises …."

She'd been worried that the fall-out between Charles and Caroline would be volcanic and irrevocable, which, much as she loved the way he wouldn't take any shit from his mother where she was concerned, did worry her a bit. She didn't want to be responsible for the demise of the James family.

"Nah … whatever it was you was gonna say ..nah … don't be a prannet"

"Spoilsport …" He laughed, totally aware of what was worrying her and not entirely sure she was wrong, he wanted to wipe the floor with his fucking mother.

"You're absolutely right of course ….but it still makes me want to go over there and stand on the doorstep and shout every bit of bad language I know … … at the top of my fucking voice" He chuckled "And believe me after all these years in the army I know a fair amount …"

"'ow old are you?"

Molly was giggling at what he'd said, trying her best to look as if she wasn't even the slightest bit upset at what Caroline had said, even though she was. A bit.

"What's that got to do with anything?"

-OG-

 _ **A/N: Thank you for all the lovely kind words and I do hope that you enjoyed this the penultimate chapter of the longest story I have ever written – Chapter 28, the last chapter which will be the first night in their new home will definitely follow in a day or so, hopefully tomorrow xx**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**Chapter 28**_

The more she looked at the way he was looking at her the less exhausted she felt, actually she didn't feel even the tiniest bit tired all of a sudden "Why the sleeping bag, why didn't you get in the bed last night?"

"I was keeping the bed for when it was both of us …" He laughed and looped his arms round her waist, then arched his back to stretch tired muscles and pulled her onto his lap "Told you I can do romantic… anyway I was bloody filthy and there was no hot water"

"There is now …."

"Yup … early night I think … has Bella got her key?"

"Dunno … but listen Charles …. she can sleep on the fucking doorstep if she's gone without it …or she's got plenty of places she can squat …. I mean, I'm not 'er mum … Bella can look out for 'erself … she's not entirely useless … just pretends she is when it suits 'er"

"Indeed …I'm sure she can"

Charles bit back the comment that had been on the tip of his tongue. It didn't matter what she said sometimes it seemed that she felt totally responsible for everyone and that included Bella. She was very protective of her sister and very sensitive to any hint of criticism which was something that really endeared her to him. And he'd loved it when he realised that she was worrying about him in the same way. But there was very little point in saying anything, she'd only deny it as she always denied that she worried about anyone, and the last thing he wanted was to upset her.

He shifted her slightly on his lap to make sure she was sitting comfortably on him and then began to drop little kisses on her neck then up to the corners of her mouth before he kissed her a lot harder and began to run his hand under her sweatshirt and up the silky skin of her back. He found himself struggling for a moment before he eventually managed to get her bra undone one handed, the other one was tangled in her hair as he cupped the back of her head and gently massaged circles on her scalp with his fingertips. He gently shook her hair loose from the messy knot at the back of her neck and then ran his fingers through it.

"Your hair is bloody beautiful …"

"Was thinking 'bout getting it cut … a bit" Molly knew she probably wouldn't do anything of the sort, she always cried when she had the split ends trimmed off, but she was still slightly embarrassed whenever he paid her compliments.

"Don't you bloody dare …" He ran his fingers through it again as though he was combing it and then lifted it away from her neck before he went back to kissing her mouth again.

There were no curtains at the windows and it was almost dark in the room but Molly had insisted that they didn't have any lights on at all, she was bloody sure that one of the nosy bastards she worked with would take a bit of a detour and would just happen to find themselves walking past. Then of course they'd be _forced_ to look and see what they could see. They all knew she was moving in the house today and which house it was, even Donna, although she hadn't said a dicky bird to her about any of it. It was something that had really pissed the other girl off apparently, well according to Tess, but it was none of Donna's fucking business and anyway Molly had known she wouldn't need to breathe a word, one of the others wouldn't be able to wait to tell her.

They'd all been talking about it and teasing Molly which had been a bit lovely, she'd found out in the last few weeks from odd things people had said just how many of them didn't think much of the way Donna had behaved. Not her getting off with Tony or marrying him or anything, people didn't say anything to her about that, it was like it was just one of those things, but they seemed to think she'd done things that would deliberately hurt Molly. Not that it mattered anymore. She honestly didn't care. And anyway she had a feeling that Tess had probably been really gleeful telling Donna that Molly was moving in to live with Superman. After all it was what she'd told everyone else.

Now there was just enough light left from the embers of the fire for them to see one another. He'd spent hours fussing with it, getting it to light and nurturing it and then fussing over it a bit more and guarding it until it had properly got going so that she'd ended up calling him a bleeding caveman with a fire fetish, but hadn't had the heart to tell him not to light the bloody thing. He didn't seem to have noticed that their old fireguard belonged to her landlord and that she hadn't sorted a new one, so she'd settled for keeping Martin out of the room unless she was in there with him. She knew in her head that he was definitely old enough to know not to go near, but he was a bit all over the shop, a bit tired and over-excited and had kept flinging himself about and she couldn't help it, it was better safe than sorry.

For Charles having her there with him, having her curled up on his lap and seeing her face in the soft light of the fire made it feel as if it had been months since he'd last seen her, admittedly they'd been together all day, but that didn't mean it hadn't felt like a lifetime since he'd touched or kissed her the way he wanted to. But now they were there together on their own with her sitting on him he wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to say so half closed his eyes and lost himself in running his hands over her skin and gently cupping and stroking the soft swell of her breasts. His breath was beginning to catch in his throat as he ran his thumbs backwards and forwards over nipples that were already rigid with lust as she began to lift her hips. Her breathing was getting harsher and more ragged as she moved slowly on him, grinding herself against his denim clad erection, which underlined for him the way he felt, that their bodies just fitted together like two halves of a whole. He trailed his fingers from her knee up the outside of her leg to her hip bone and then slid them slowly up past her waist to fondle the side of her breast again, kissing her the whole time and then had to break the kiss when he suddenly seemed to have far too much breath. He could hear himself beginning to sound as if he'd just run a marathon.

"Come on... " He swung her down from his lap and stood up, grimacing as he adjusted the front of his jeans and then grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room behind him, stopping after a few steps to lift her up in his arms.

"What you doing?"

"Being romantic … I didn't think to carry you over the threshold did I?… so I thought I'd carry you up to bed instead"

"Prannet … that's not the same thing at al … anyway all that shit is for when you get married …. 'n you'd be in jail for whatsits …. bigamy"

"Lovely … I'd forgotten about that"

"Nah, you 'adn't"

They settled for walking upstairs hand in hand, eyes locked and with the widest possible smiles on their faces and then they were in their room, their huge lovely room that she loved so much, the room that had its own bathroom which she wasn't sure she didn't love more than the whole of the rest of the house put together. She whirled around with a huge grin on her face, she loved it even though there were no curtains up and with most of her belongings still in black bin liners in a heap in the corner. It was the best room she'd ever seen. It was actually better than his room in Bath and it was hard to believe it was hers and that she could do whatever she liked with it, well it was still rented so obviously within reason, but she knew Charles would be happy to let her do whatever she wanted. There were these huge great big floor to ceiling fitted cupboards which meant there was all the space in the world for everything, even if she didn't have anything much to put in them, her stuff would most likely struggle to fill a couple of drawers at most and she couldn't even reach the top shelves. But then that didn't matter, she had nothing to go on them anyway. And there was this super king-sized extra-long bed that he'd insisted they had to buy, had told her it was essential because of him having to have a bed that was long enough, but this one looked long enough for someone a hell of a lot taller than him. About ten-foot as far as she could tell. Their lovely new bed that looked all pristine and neat and welcoming with its beautifully crisp brand-new bedding. And the bright red plastic floor washing bucket that stood at the end of it with a bottle sticking out the top.

"What's that? …" Molly didn't know whether to throw her arms round him for thinking of it, or to piss herself laughing at the red plastic bucket.

"Told you I can do romantic …" He threw his head back and roared with laughter "Sorry about the wine cooler …. It was one thing we did forget at bloody IKEA … tell you what else I've forgotten … glasses … we've got nothing to drink out of …hang on and I'll go and get some…."

"It's lovely … 'n we can swig out the bottle … can share "

She could see from the way he looked at her and bit his lip just how much he'd wanted this to make her happy, not only the Champagne, but all of it, that he'd probably, like her, never really thought any of it was going to happen. That it had really been like some sort of pipe dream. And yet here they were and here he was trying to get the cork out of the bottle and talking about getting glasses and all she wanted was to put her arms round him and hug him.

"Leave it … we can 'ave it later on"

She put her hand out and put it over his and then took the bottle out of his fingers and put it back in the bucket. She was standing as close as she could without actually touching him until she put her hand back on his arm and they looked at one another and laughed, as he lifted the bottle out of his makeshift cooler again to have another go at easing the cork out.

"What's your hurry …" He looked at her and smirked and then raised his eyebrows and dragged his teeth over his lip "There's no rush .. we've got all night"

"'ave we? Okay …well if you say so … " Molly giggled then slid her hands round his waist and lifted the hem of his 't' shirt just enough to slide her fingers under it and run them over the waistband of his jeans. She slid them slowly down over his bum and then up again to the hollow at the back of his waist and stared up at him the whole time with a wicked little smile on her face knowing how much she was teasing, and how much he was enjoying the way her fingers kept going close to touching the skin on his back where they'd hover tantalising for a second before she moved them away again. He closed his eyes momentarily and took a sharp breath as an involuntary shiver ran through him and then abandoned the unopened bottle to use both hands to tug his shirt over his head, then picked up the bottle again and re-doubled his efforts to get it open. He was trying to do it without the explosively loud pop and traditional fountain of Champagne ending up going all over the place.

"There we go …." He sounded pleased with himself as there was a subdued little pop followed by a sudden gush of Champagne over his fingers. Without taking his eyes away from hers he lifted the bottle and captured some of the overflow in his mouth, before he held it to her lips for her to drink. Molly held his gaze and gulped a couple of mouthfuls then swallowed hard without tasting a thing. It was only the second time in her entire life that she'd had Champagne, both times had been with him and she had no idea whether what they were swigging was Vintage Premier Cruey whatsits, or Lidl's best and what's more she didn't give a shit. She wasn't even sure she was that keen on it, but it was a really lovely thing for him to have done and even if it was the cheap shit, which knowing him she was sure it wasn't, standing there together with him in their own bedroom with their own bed and him with his chest all naked while they swigged out of a bottle of anything was lovely. Even if it wasn't quite what she'd thought she'd be doing by this time on this particular evening.

She lowered her gaze to follow the trail of her fingers as she slid one hand lightly down over his hip and then hardly touching him at all ran her fingertips across his flat belly, paused and then looked up at his face before she ran one fingertip slowly and lightly and deliberately down his zip. Charles shut his eyes and took a sharp breath before he carefully leaned forward and put the bottle back in the bucket which still had a few inches of slushy water in the bottom.

"Molly …." His voice was deep and throaty as he put his hand on top of hers to make sure she kept it where it was.

"What ..?"

He shook his head, his breathing fast and loud and she could feel him getting even harder under her fingers as he closed his eyes again and tipped his head back, but kept his hand where it was on top of hers as she moved her fingers to undo his zip. For a moment she thought he was going to stop her, but he didn't, he just kept his hand on hers as she slid his zip down and only let go when she began to fumble with the button trying to get it undone and he took over.

As she slid his jeans down his hips and he kicked them off he wondered where the fuck he'd got the idea that they should take it slowly. Molly raised her eyebrows at the impressive tent he was pitching in the front of his boxers and then hooked her fingers in the waistband ready to slide them off him as he asked himself what the hell he'd been thinking, what had given him the idea that going slowly was going to work.

"Hey … wait out … just a second …"

He leaned forward and pulled her sweatshirt and bra over her head but then had to stop to gently untangle her hair where it got caught up. He was trying his best to be as careful as he could with hands that weren't quite steady before he began to slide the zip down on her jeans, suddenly he couldn't wait to feel her skin against his.

"You can help me if you like …"

"What's your 'urry?" She was giggling but took over anyway and pushed her jeans down her legs "You said you was gonna take all night …."

"I've changed my mind …. You are so absolutely incredibly fucking beautiful…you know that, don't you? You are so unbelievably gorgeous …"

"I'm not … 'n stop bleeding laughing at me …. But tell you what, just for that, lots of good things might gonna happen to you …"

"I'm counting on it…" He laughed his deep throaty laugh "And don't argue with me … if I say you're beautiful … then you are …"

Molly shook her head and wound her legs round his waist as he lifted her off her feet to carry her over to the bed where nothing seemed funny anymore. They both stopped laughing as they gazed into each other's eyes and he laid her gently on her back. Any lingering thoughts either of them might have had of taking their time and slowly stripping each other or even of enjoying a long hot and sexy shower together or even a bath completely vanished when somehow the rest of their underclothes ended up on the floor. Nothing else seemed to matter that much anymore as they kissed and kissed and kissed, their hands roaming over each other and their lips following their hands until they were totally lost in one another.

"Been shoppin' I see … thought that was my job"

"What …. this?" He'd pulled open the drawer of the bedside table and pulled out a condom box and then pretended to be surprised to see it "Looks like the condom fairy decided to pay us a little visit … so you don't need to"

"Idiot …" Molly giggled "Well … be a shame to waste it ….don't wanna 'er to think she was wastin' 'er time"

It didn't take long for whatever tiny bit of self-control he had left to be hanging by a thread as he closed his eyes in an increasingly desperate struggle to keep his concentration on waiting out as her body bucked and writhed under him. As the intense pressure began to build and consume her she was grinding and muttering and begging him not to stop, something that he wasn't sure he could have done even if he'd tried, she had to know just how unbelievably close he was to losing the battle to keep control. And then she slid over the edge and as she tumbled head first into a swirling powerful, fiery pleasure the waves of the orgasm that were sweeping through her made him thrust as hard and deep as he could. Until he too held his breath as the first powerful spasms of the pleasure he'd been so desperately holding off took over. The all-consuming waves of sensation were pulsing through him with an intensity that made everything else fade into insignificance.

"Are you okay?"

"Me? Oh yeah …" She was whispering as his fingers moved slowly to stroke her hair back from her forehead, and she gave an involuntary sigh that was almost a purr "You?"

He couldn't find the right words to tell her exactly how he felt, so contented himself with nodding and burying his face against her neck until his heart rate slowed and his breathing went back to something approaching normal when he slid out of bed and went to the bathroom. Getting back into bed he pulled her into his side, and settled her comfortably before he began kissing her gently, a slow sleepy kissing that was so soothing Molly wanted it to go on and on forever. She closed her eyes and let the sensation of the stroking of his tongue and the feel of his lips on her skin send her almost off to sleep.

"Hey … no fairy lights?" He broke off from kissing her to look round the room "Do you want me to fix them up for you in the morning?"

"Nah … s'alright …. changed me mind …. thought that maybe … you know … that I didn't need 'em after all …. I'd maybe keep them till there was … perhaps… you know .. a little girl living 'ere who'd love 'em the way I used to when I was little"

He desperately wanted to ask her if that meant she was saying that she was thinking of changing her mind about having children, but then hesitated and kissed her again instead. Questions like that could wait, he didn't want anything to change the quiet satisfaction of just being there with her. Of it just being the two of them. He heard her say something, her voice so soft and sleepy that he didn't actually hear what it was she'd said.

"Sorry I didn't catch that …" He laughed "I could be wrong of course, but did I just hear you say _you are very good at that Charles and I'm really sorry I said you were just average?"_

"What? Well I might of …. Let me think … Nah don't think I did … I think I said I were thirsty… we don't want you getting big 'eaded do we?"

"No danger of that with you around is there?"

"Nah …"

"Molly …?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you …"

"I know you do … 'n I love you too … 'n you're not really average …"

"Lovely … I thought for a minute there you were going to say not even average …"

"Stop fishin' …"

They were both still grinning as Charles started to stroke her hair again.

"Hey, who'd have thought it? …"

"Who'd 'ave thought what?"

"Lady Luck really was smiling on me that day wasn't she? …. I was so fucking miserable and so angry about the bloody snow and how long it was taking to get home … and then … then there was you … and look at us now"

"I was miserable that day 'n all …." He tightened his arm round her shoulders "'n then I was a bit in the shit and you come along … 'n you rescued me … I were the lucky one …"

"I think you'll find it was the other way round … that you rescued me"

He got out of bed and walked round to pull the duvet up over them, straightening it as he did so, which was something Molly knew she was going to have to get used to. She'd have just hoicked it up. She watched as he walked to the bottom of the bed and pulled the bottle out of his bucket wine cooler and bit her lip as she looked at the way his muscles were moving under his skin.

"Are you perving?"

"Yeah… "Molly giggled "You promised me all night remember?"

"Indeed …. How could I possibly forget? But you might need to give me a bit of time … here, have some of this instead…. " He passed the bottle and held it for her, encouraging her to take a hearty swig. She was actually very thirsty, her mouth was really dry from everything she'd been doing but she still wasn't sure that she liked it, it just seemed a bit shitty to say so.

He stroked the hair back behind her ear "I can't believe how bloody lucky I am you know"

"Don't think your mum or Rebecca would see it like that … they'd probably agree with me that I'm the lucky one… "

"They don't know you … and neither of them know me either … not the way that you know me"

"We are gonna be okay aren't we? You and me?" Molly still had these niggling doubts, it wasn't all about the incredible sex, that would be easy, but there was so much else in her life that had changed and she wasn't entirely sure it was all going to be as plain sailing as he'd have her believe "I'm still a bit … are you sure you're gonna be alright … you know with your new job 'n the bloody commute 'n that? I mean you would say if it's a bit shit?"

"Of course I would …. But it's going to be more than okay Molly … my job is going to be fine.. the commute is going to be fine … and we are definitely going to be fine, more than fine" He packed as much reassurance into his voice as he could manage, there was still this little rogue voice somewhere in his head that was telling him that he was going to miss the adrenaline rush and the camaraderie that went along with being deployed, being with a group of lads that he knew well, but he knew it was something he was going to have to learn to live with. The alternative was unthinkable, especially now, well there literally was no alternative "I told you Lady Luck was really smiling on me … alright she was smiling on both of us when Bambi ran across the road in front of your car in a fucking snowstorm … sorry in front of Bella's car"

"Weren't hers neither … I thought you didn't believe me about Bambi … that's what you said when you was being all Captain Birdseye"

"Who?"

"Couldn't hear what you was saying could I? I 'ad the window shut…" She giggled at the memory and at how affronted he sounded "Thought you was a murderer so I only 'eard Captain 'n he was the only one I knew … well it was either fish fingers or Captain Pugwash…"

"Fuck Molly, Captain Birdseye? Lovely … how old did you think I was … no don't answer that … and no I'm sorry I didn't believe you about Bambi…"

"That's alright I was lying …"

"Really? Never have guessed …. but that doesn't stop me knowing it was the best thing that ever happened to me …" He laughed "Captain Birdseye for fuck sake…?"

"Yeah well …"

"Come here and make it up to me …"

"Thought you said you needed time … at your age …"

"Right, that's it …"

He lifted her on top of him so that she was laying full length along his body as Molly tried very hard to keep still and think about something that wasn't the touch of his skin, or his body underneath hers and then gave in when he pulled her legs along either side of his until she was straddling him.

"Thought you said you needed time …"

"Who said that? … I don't remember that"

Even though they'd been laughing and teasing one another, somehow they forgot to say anything as he rolled her onto her back and kissed a trail down her body, then lifted his eyes to look at her face as he sucked one nipple into his mouth and made her moan. He kissed a trail back up to her mouth and then began to kiss her lips as if she was the oxygen he needed to survive before he moved his hands and started touching her body in all the ways he knew she loved.

All he wanted was to do it again and again and again.

-OG-

 _ **A/N: A huge thank you to everyone who has read and followed this story over the last year and a bit, thank you for your support and especially thank you for all the lovely reviews and comments. I couldn't have done it without you. I must admit that I am finding it a little sad to have finished, after so long I will miss it. There is a short epilogue that was going to be part of the last chapter but it isn't quite complete and my brain is fried this afternoon, I will finish and post it if you would like to see what happens when their lives together are more settled. Thank you once again.**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N: As promised here is the epilogue which is set after their first 6 months together - I know I said it was going to be short, but those that now me won't be surprised to hear that it turned out to be a lot longer than I had initially planned I just hope you will enjoy it and that it's not too long … doing my Gwynneth Paltrow bit now, my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed and stuck with this, but my especial thanks to Flossy for her endless flaming patience and encouragement … I will be back very soon … (hope that doesn't sound like a threat, it's not meant to be) … I will be re-visiting the Barn so will hopefully see you there …. Once again thank you for sticking with me, I couldn't possibly do it without you.**_

 **Epilogue**

 **6 Months later – August**

"Sorry, sorry, sorry …. I know, I know I'm late … " Charles threw his bergen on the floor and left it for later, something he wouldn't have dreamed of doing 6 months earlier "Bloody traffic was a fucking nightmare …and Okehampton is not exactly round the corner" He smiled and looked at her properly for the first time, widening his eyes in appreciation at the way she looked standing in front of the mirror holding a top up against herself and chewing at her bottom lip. Molly shook her head before she threw it on top of the heap on the bed and then stood in her bra and knickers rifling through the pile before wailing that it was all wrong, that every last bit of it was total shit.

"It's good to be home … " He raised his eyebrows and smirked "You going to stay like that?"

"Don't be a prannet … you're not bein' funny … Can't make up me bleeding mind what to wear can I? … I mean … what if everyone's all tarted up? Wearing frocks 'n that, I'm gonna look pretty bloody stupid in jeans…. "

"Hats as well I wouldn't mind betting ….like a Buckingham Palace garden party …" Charles snorted a laugh down his nose.

"Shut up …"

"Sweetheart … just wear whatever you like, you'll easily be the most beautiful girl there whatever you've got on …. And you couldn't look stupid if you tried" He got up from the bed where he'd perched and stood behind her, lifted the waterfall of her hair and nuzzled the back of her neck before he raised his head to look at their shared reflection. He shook his head and frowned at the anxious look on her face and resisted the urge to pull her against him "Now stop worrying and give me a kiss, I've missed you"

"Yeah … " Molly turned her head to look at him and then leaned back against him "Ditto … missed you a bit 'n all"

"Only a bit?…" He laughed and stepped back slightly before rearranging her hair and taking a deep breath "Have you heard from your mum, is she coming?" he hesitated for a split second "And your dad?"

"Nah… I mean … I knew he wouldn't come even for the free booze, wouldn't pay for the bloody train … but I thought mum might …" Molly shrugged and tried not to let him see how intensely disappointed she was "Nan's coming, she's 'iring a Corsa 'n bringing the kids"

"Lovely …" Charles resisted the temptation to ask why her mother couldn't have come in the car with her grandmother and the younger members of the Dawes family.

"Yeah I s'pose … I mean I'm glad she's coming … and the kids .. but it means we're gonna 'ave to watch 'er, you know what she's like with drinking and driving, she thinks rules are for everyone else" Molly chewed her lip "She's bleeding dangerous"

"There is that… hey … stop looking so worried, they can always stay, I'm sure we can fit them in somewhere … good news is that my mum says she's not coming … can't think why …" He put his head back and roared with laughter "Or dad, but then he'd have to have her permission …"

"I think it was bloody good of you to ask 'er" Molly giggled, she was pretty sure he'd only done it because he knew she wouldn't accept the invitation, she wouldn't have minded being a fly on the wall for that conversation "Can't pretend I'm sorry she's giving us a swerve …"

It had been on the tip of her tongue to say it was bad enough Rebecca bringing Sam but didn't. She'd given herself a number of tongue lashings while he'd been away and had resolved to try and be all grown up about it, their divorce was final and she had to trust him when he said it was just them being civilised with each other for Sam's sake. But that didn't stop it being hard.

"Can you 'urry up a bit … people are gonna start pitching up any minute and I don't know any of them"

"Of course you do .."

"Nah I don't … alright …some of them maybe … _now_ what you doing?"

"Actually I thought I'd have a shower, change my clothes … that sort of thing, what do people usually do when they get home from five days away … well apart from get a kiss from their partner … ?"

"Oh yeah sorry … bit nervous …" Molly looked in the mirror and felt a pang of concern and a tiny bit of guilt at how tired he looked, she should have asked him about how it had gone as soon as he came in "Did it go okay … were you your usual bleeding magic at bossing people about? Were they scared of you?"

"Indeed … it was fine … and I've told you before, I do not boss people about …. and no-one is scared of me …."

"Yeah they are … and yeah you do … clue's in the name innit?… Boss"

Charles smiled a tired smile. The adrenalin of the last few days had started to slowly ebb away during his long drive home which meant he was exhausted and would've liked nothing better than to stretch out in the garden with a very large drink and close his eyes for a bit. He'd quite like to relax and mull over the events of the last five days and think about the surprising sense of achievement he'd been experiencing by the end of the week. Something he'd thought was never going to happen again. The whole exercise had gone like a dream from his point of view, he'd felt good, strong and confident with no sign of the anxieties he'd half expected, had in fact been very reminiscent of the early days of the Under Fives, it had almost felt as if he'd turned the clock back to before their first tour of Afghan. He'd forgotten what it felt like, but exactly like those far off days he'd just taken a bunch of raw young squaddies and started the process of moulding them, somehow made even more poignant knowing that 2 section had just left on their first deployment that he'd had no involvement in any way at all.

"Now even I can tell that I stink of explosives and sweat and god knows what else, not exactly an aphrodisiac"

"Works for me …"

"Everything works for you …" He raised his eyebrows and laughed and then shook his head and turned her round to tilt her chin up with his thumb. He bent his head and kissed her properly "I can't believe how bloody lucky I am…"

"Well 'urry up then 'n don't moan and say I'm naggin'"

"Wouldn't dream of it … now let me go and get cleaned up and then we can have a nice party … unless you fancy keeping me company in there?"

He raised his eyebrows in invitation and nodded towards the en-suite tightening his hold on her. He was even more sorry now that he was home later than he'd planned, suddenly the idea of sharing a long lazy shower followed by an hour or so in bed was even more attractive than lying in the garden with a drink. And definitely more appealing than any sort of housewarming or getting together party.

"Nah, I don't wanna get me 'air wet again …. and there's no such bloody thing as a nice par'y … not unless you're 'ammered ….. and I bet you its gonna bloody rain 'n all"

"Nope … definitely not going to rain … whose idea was this anyway?" Charles grinned and shook his head and waited for her to say that it had been his. He'd admit to being slightly disappointed that there wasn't going to be any sort of farewell to his involvement with 2 section, but they were off doing what they did best. Not that he was envious. Not very anyway. And despite what she'd just said he knew Molly wouldn't drink, just as he knew that she was as she put it 'shitting a brick' that there were going to be people at the party she didn't know. And he knew that she hated the thought that Rebecca was going to be there, which if he was honest was something he could well have done without as well. Despite Molly's confidence at work where apparently nothing really fazed her, she was still intimidated by the thought that people might look down on her, something that made him angry, not with her, never with her, but with the people who'd robbed her of her self-confidence in the past. People like his bloody mother who couldn't seem to see her for the person she was. No matter what anyone said to her, and he'd said plenty, Caroline still couldn't or wouldn't see past the tattoo or the accent.

-OG-

"You should have seen your face … I thought I was going to pee myself …. actually I thought you were going to as well …"

"So did I … I mean how was I s'posed to know, I could see people bowing and scraping 'n that, but we don't get many of them to the pound where I come from …. I've 'eard of princes and dukes and all that shit, course I 'ave, I mean Prince 'arry for one … but the only Viscount I've ever 'eard of is a fucking biscuit …"

There was a further gale of laughter as Molly and Tess and a couple of the other girls talked about an incident with a patient and his relatives when she was suddenly catapulted forward by a small boy launching himself into the back of her legs. She pitched forward and slopped her drink over her carefully selected green top "Oi … careful …" She turned as Sam yelled hello in an excited bellow before he took off down the garden to help Martin, or rather to re-establish his rank and boss Martin about as the pair of them set up the small football nets. Molly was left staring at the sleek blonde girl who was looking back at her with undisguised curiosity as Tess and the others melted away in the direction of the booze.

She looked exactly how Molly had expected her to look, okay, not a pole dancer, but still a tall slim girl with fabulous highlights in her sleek blonde flicky hair, and legs that went up to her armpits. She had on designer jeans that fitted her like they were glued to her almost non-existent bum and a beautiful silk top which most likely cost more than Molly's entire wardrobe put together, which wouldn't exactly be that difficult. She had the immediate effect of making Molly feel like some small scruffy urchin who'd got dressed at a jumble sale, which was not that far from the truth. That was until she opened her mouth. She might sound a lot like bloody Caroline, which she undoubtedly did, she had that same sort of accent which was exactly what Molly would have expected but there the similarity ended.

"Hi … you're Molly? Lovely …. hello … its lovely to meet you at last … I feel that I already know _so_ much about you, Sammie talks about you all the time … it's really good of you to invite me …. Is her Majesty here yet?"

"Who? Sorry … I mean 'ello Rebecca? Its nice to meet you 'n all"

Molly cringed when she heard herself. _Nice to meet you_? Fuck. Couldn't she have come up with something a bit better than that? As it went it wasn't exactly sophisticated or scintillating, in fact it was a bit shit, but she couldn't think of anything else offhand.

"Her Gracious Majesty Queen Caroline of Bath …" Rebecca pretended to curtsey "Has her Imperial Highness deigned to grace the proceedings with her presence here today …. so that she can walk around with a bad smell under her nose?"

"Nah … she's not coming …" Molly wanted to giggle not only at what she'd said but at the exaggerated expression of relief that flitted across Rebecca's beautifully made up face. Her eyebrows made Molly long to get going on her own with the tweezers "She don't like me very much …"

"Don't worry … She doesn't like anyone very much … which is alright because no-one in their right mind likes her" Rebecca laughed and pulled a rueful face "I spent years wishing I could tell her to fuck off but never had quite enough nerve … lovely … I can be as rude as I like to her now and there's nothing she can do"

Molly couldn't help thinking how odd it sounded to hear that sort of language coming from the immaculately lipsticked mouth of an obviously dead posh girl. Hearing her say _fuck_ definitely wasn't what she'd expected, although Charles said it all the time. It was just that Rebecca seemed to be a lot different to the person she'd imagined her to be.

"Does Charles know … I mean did you tell 'im 'ow you felt about 'er?"

"Good god no, I couldn't possibly … that wouldn't have been the right thing to do at all, would it? She might be a nightmare … actually there's no _might be_ about it, she is an absolute fucking nightmare, but she's still his mother for god's sake … as she always went to great pains to remind me every time I saw her …"

Rebecca started to smile a greeting at someone over Molly's shoulder and she knew without checking that it was Charles, same as she knew he'd be over to join them as soon as he could get rid of the fat little bloke with glasses that he was talking to. He wouldn't leave her there on her own with Rebecca for a moment longer than he had to, he'd be worried that she was getting upset. But she wasn't, although she couldn't help thinking that if Rebecca and Charles had been a bit more honest, they might still have been married, which didn't make her feel very good. What the hell did he see in someone like her when he'd been with someone like Rebecca, someone who was all shiny and glossy and sounded like this girl in front of her? But, he was with her and he loved her and she knew that, and she couldn't keep worrying that she wasn't as good as someone else for the rest of her bloody life.

"Come on, where is 'e? Where's that bleeding ugly bugger of yours hiding hisself?" Nan leaned forward to kiss Molly on the cheek and gave Rebecca what her mum always called her old-fashioned look, which was Belinda speak for Nan narrowing her eyes and glaring at someone as though they'd got a bogie on their chin "Got 'im chained to the sink 'ave you … or 'idden 'im away cos you knew I was on me way?" Nan looked at Rebecca again "And who's this? 'ave you met our Moll's Charlie boy? 'e's a lovely chap … a real good 'un"

"Hello Nan … umm …" Molly kissed Nan on the cheek, suddenly cringing with embarrassment, she had a strong feeling that someone, probably Bella, had told Nan exactly who this blonde girl was and that Nan was warning her off "This is Rebecca … ummm … her and Charles used to be married … I mean … they're not now … they're divorced … ummm …"

Nan was looking at Rebecca with deep suspicion written all over her face as Molly wracked her brains trying to think of what god-awful things she might have said to Nan about Rebecca and how she could drop a subtle hint to her grandmother, who didn't really do subtle, that Rebecca was alright. She didn't want her to say anything that Molly would regret.

But before anyone could say anything to drop her in it, Bella started tugging her arm and trying to drag her away. Molly couldn't help noticing a strong smell of booze, a smell that always seemed to be hanging around where Bella was these days, it was a smell that reminded her of their dad and was something that really worried her, she knew she should be taking better care of her sister. And right now she was horribly afraid that Bella was well on her way to being pissed despite her promises to pace herself.

"What the fuck made you invite ' _er_?" Bella stopped for a minute to take a swig out of her glass "I never thought even you would be that fucking stupid"

"Who? What you talking about?" Molly hesitated before saying anything else, suddenly worried that Bella was talking about Rebecca, and would say so in no uncertain and very unflattering terms. And that Rebecca would hear every word "Take it a bit easy Bels, remember …. you promised"

"I'm not pissed ….…not yet … 'n I'm not talking about _'er_ …." She nodded at Rebecca, then jerked her head in the direction of the house "I'm talking about _'ER…_ "

Rebecca gave her a little wave and started to make her way over to where Charles was still talking, although he was constantly looking over at them. Nan trailed after her reminding Molly of a Rottweiler all ready to guard Charles from the dangers of talking to his ex, as Bella rolled her eyes dramatically and indicated the small cluster of girls standing in a huddle on the patio. They all had glasses in their hands and were standing close to the trestle table where they'd carefully laid out bowls of M&S salads and crisps and bits and pieces and miles of French bread that her and Bella had cut up for people to help themselves. Molly had been getting a bit bothered about flies or that it would get stale, might even be inedible by the time anyone got round to it, most people seemed far more interested in drinking. But now all she could see was a tarted-up Donna standing by the table picking at the bread for all the world as if she was an invited guest.

"I never asked 'er … why the fuck would I do that?"

"Let me throw 'er out … please …go on .."

"Nah … let me think …. she 'asn't bought 'im with 'er 'as she?"

"Nah … don't think so …she come with that lot …"

"Come on …" For once in her life Molly was going to enjoy doing something she knew she shouldn't. But who'd said that trollop could gatecrash her party? Even the sight of her perfect bloody white teeth against her holiday tan got on her wick so much that Molly wanted to slap her, no-one invited her and yet here she was smiling that annoying bleeding smile that made her eyes crinkle up so much it was a fucking miracle she could still see anything. Boyfriend stealer. Donna took one look at Molly and obviously decided to get in first before she could ask her who let her in.

"I hope you don't mind me tagging along, but everyone was talking about this party and I wanted to just tell you how glad I am that you're all settled.. I'm really pleased for you Moll …. I hear he's lovely … Tess is constantly telling us how very good looking he is and how much she adores him …"

"Right …. I just wasn't expecting to see you, but not to worry, get yourself a drink before you go….. oh I see you already 'ave…"

Molly nodded and walked away smirking all over her face as Bella giggled then stage whispered "Moll, what's that on your shirt … looks like your tits 'ave leaked'"

"BELLA!" Molly couldn't help giggling with her sister as they moved out of earshot "It's water … "

"God, who let her in?"

Tess was looking at Donna as she walked up to the two sisters with an expression of undisguised horror on her face, which changed into a laugh when she saw the look of glee on Molly's face "What have you done? Never mind I'm sure she asked for it …"

"Nothing …. Just … you know… said 'ello or something like that"

"Well, take my advice and make sure you keep an eye on her…. and you'd better padlock his flies before she cops an eyeful of Clarke"

"No need … 'e wouldn't go anywhere near "

"That's never stopped her before has it?"

"It will this time …"

As she said it Molly knew that what she was saying was absolutely true, Charles would never dream of doing that to her. It was a lovely feeling. She looked over to where he was standing with his arm round Nan's shoulders and watched for a second as he threw his head back to laugh at something Nan said, there was no sign of Rebecca but as he talked to Nan, or rather listened to her, his eyes flicked frequently in Molly's direction. He was obviously trying to reassure himself that she was okay. She caught his eye and smiled and nodded, suddenly needing him to know that it didn't matter Rebecca being there, or even bloody Donna turning up like that, she was absolutely fine and there was no need for him to worry about her.

-OG-

"So … this is Molly? Hullo Molly, how lovely it is to finally put a face to the name I heard so often … I feel as if I already know you"

Daniel was beaming all over his face and giving himself a little private pat on the back. It was a much-needed ego boost for him to know that he'd been right all along, that Charles had been forming a relationship with the girl he'd called Meghan Markle. It was lovely to be proved so right about something.

"Really … who from?" Charles' laugh sounded a bit forced to his own ears and he knew his face had flushed, he was regretting getting Molly to come over and join them so that he could introduce her to Daniel. He'd forgotten what a slick little shit Daniel could be.

Not for the first time that afternoon he wondered what he'd been thinking of, what bloody stupid impulse meant that he'd invited Daniel, and had only just stopped himself inviting his wife and their tribe of kids as well. Logically Charles had known that this was an exercise in futility, but he'd had this need to demonstrate to himself as well as Daniel just how well things had worked out now he wasn't being forced to spend hours every week desperately working to keep his private thoughts hidden. As Daniel had exercised his undoubted skills at making him feel uncomfortably secretive. Looking back now Charles shuddered at the amount of effort it had needed for him to constantly weigh up every single word he'd said.

"'ello Daniel … nice to meet you" Oh shit, there she went again with her scintillating conversational skills "Will you excuse me …. ummm …I gotta ….ummm … ummm … see to the boys … make sure they eat something that's not crisps…" She turned to Charles and grimaced knowing Daniel couldn't see her face "Where's Rebecca?"

"Gone … she had something to do …. Sorry I forgot … she asked me to say goodbye ..."

"Okay …" Molly gave him a look that said she thought that sounded a bit sus, but that they'd talk about it later, and then walked away as both Daniel and Charles stood in silence and watched her go.

"So …. how's the job working out for you Charles … is it all going well? I can see that everything else has worked out very nicely for you … and I'm very happy to see that it has … she's a lovely girl"

"Indeed …"

Daniel took his glasses off and rooted in his top pocket to find and clip-on some sunglass lenses which made him look even more like a benevolent roly-poly stranger to Charles. It was hard now for him to remember quite how angry he'd been with this man for what he'd seen at the time as a betrayal. But he recognised now just how much he owed him as well, even if he hadn't wanted to admit it at the time. If it hadn't been for Daniel telling him all the time to believe that he deserved a life after Elvis he'd probably never have asked Molly to meet him in the Castle that night. Without Daniel's encouragement he'd have carried on shutting himself away in his lonely bubble, away from everything and everyone.

-OG-

Molly looked over to where the kids were playing some energetic game of something that almost resembled football and listened to their excited shouts. No-one was screaming or fighting or murdering anyone else but she was becoming more and more conscious of a hot gaze on her back, which she knew could be her imagination, but she was buggered if she was going to look in her direction and check. She looked for Tess instead, she'd get her to check it out for her.

"She keeps on looking at me …. what's she doin'?"

"I don't know … I don't know if she's looking at you exactly, she's sitting there on her own drinking for England …getting very ratted by the look of it … she'll be totally out of it by the time she finishes that bottle"

"Bottle? Who give her a bottle?" Molly had no idea how their booze supply was holding up, she hadn't checked, but Donna had a fucking nerve taking a whole bottle. Somehow she was pretty sure that neither Bella nor Charles had given it to her "Where are the others?"

"Everyone's avoiding her" Tess shrugged and giggled "Someone said she's angry about something … and pissed"

"Alright … think it might be time for 'er to go 'ome"

"Good luck …"

At first Molly thought she was asleep with her head on the table next to the empty bottles like some old wino, but then as Tess pointed out she could just as easily be dead. And then giggled which made Molly giggle as well, even though it wasn't funny, not very funny anyhow.

"Right … let's get you a taxi shall we?" Molly picked up both the empty bottles, the last thing she wanted was broken glass all over with all the kids that were running about, but looking at her she was also a tad concerned that she might not be able to get a taxi driver to take her in the state she was in. But there was no bloody way on earth that she was having a bed in their house for the night "I'll phone Tone, see if he can come and get you"

"No … not yet …. I'm enjoying myself … I'm having a bloody night out … why does no-one ever want me to have any bloody fun" Her speech was slurred as she caught sight of the empty bottles in Molly's hand "Don't worry about that, there's plenty more in there" She waved her hand in the direction of the house "If you wait a minute … I'll go and get one … bit wobbly at the moment" Donna gave a huge sniff as Tess and Molly exchanged glances and Molly muttered that she knew all about the booze, it was hers, Charles and her had bought it, what the fuck did Donna think this was, _help yourself week_?

"Cheeky bitch" Tess was also muttering, she had zero sympathy for Donna who seemed to have immediately forgotten all about going in the house to get another bottle anyway and had slumped forward again.

"He takes his bloody ring off you know … tells me he's working late …. But not buying that … he's at it, I know he is" She focused with difficulty on Molly "Thought it was you …

"Me? Nah … not a chance …"

"I know that … I've seen the bloke you've managed to hook, why the fuck would you want Tony when you've got him .. and this house … didn't believe her …"She pointed a wavering finger at Tess "She said his family live in a stately home with servants and that he's got a butler, I thought she might be telling lies when she said the butler puts the toothpaste on his brush for him … I mean that's someone else isn't it? But she's right about one thing, he's definitely a hell of a lot tastier than that pig that calls himself my husband …. Bastard … fucking cheating, lying bastard"

"I didn't lie … I might have exaggerated slightly once or twice … a bit ….possibly" Tess was giggling uncontrollably, thoroughly enjoying every single second of the floor show "Told you you'd have to padlock his flies didn't I?"

"Shut up … you're not helping .." Molly couldn't help giggling with her but felt a sudden tiny pang of pity for Donna. But only a very little one, on the whole she thought Donna had got exactly what she deserved "Where's 'er bloody phone … I deleted him off of mine"

-OG-

"Oh look, it's the ginger wank stain…." Bella muttered in Molly's ear forcing her to gulp back the urge to laugh "What's he doing 'ere? 'ere we got the full set today 'aven't we?…. God, just think … you used to take no notice of the ginger pubes …."

"Bella …SHUT UP …Shut your bloody gob" They both knew what her slightly pissed sister had been about to say as Molly jabbed her hard in the ribs "I called him, told 'im to come and get 'er" She gestured at Donna who was now snoring loudly in a chair on the patio.

"Hello Molly … how lovely to see you … Oh … and Bella"

"Is it? Can't think why"

Molly didn't want to talk to him, she just wanted him to go and take Donna with him as Bella piped up to ask him why he hadn't said it was lovely to see her as well which made Molly jab her with her elbow again to tell her to shut up.

"I haven't seen you since … well, since before last Christmas … and you never did call me to arrange to go out for that drink did you?" He smiled in a way that Molly detested, she thought it made him look oily "I had hoped we could be friends … you and I, I missed you… I still do"

"Really? Sorry …. told you I didn't wanna see you anymore"

"Did you?"

Tony hadn't changed, although why she thought he might have she didn't know. He still insisted on answering questions with more questions and trying to make someone say what they didn't mean, the only difference was that she no longer cared about getting the answers right.

"Hello … Tony isn't it? I don't know if you remember me, but I think we might have met at Molly's Christmas party last year .. Charles .."

He'd appeared out of nowhere and extended his hand for Tony to shake before casually dropping his arm round Molly's shoulders and hugging her into his side. He dropped a possessive little kiss on the top of her head and Molly couldn't help smirking. Her and Tess had talked at length one day about how blokes sometimes metaphorically peed all round their women marking their territory, to warn other men off and now Charles was doing exactly that. He was telling Tony that she was his, something that would normally annoy the hell out of her, she wasn't anyone's territory, but this was Charles and it was Tony getting the benefit.

"Do you need a hand getting your wife to the car?" He was using his very poshest and most superior Caroline-type voice to tell Tony to fuck off, to leave and take a very drunk Donna with him and had put his best Captain Stern face on "Shout if you need any help"

With that he rudely turned his back and whispered to Molly "Shall we tell everyone?"

"Nah … I still need to tell Bels and Nan and maybe Mum before everyone else … sorry …"

"Don't be … no rush … I just wanted … hey, it really doesn't matter … as long as you haven't changed your mind again about me … or about … making babies"

"Bit late for that innit?"

-OG-

"MARRIED …. But why? Thought things was okay as they are … why do you wanna do that? .. I mean, I know he's alright but …. 'ere, if you think I'm gonna wear something that'd look good on a 4 year-old you can fuck right off …"

"We're getting married cos he asked me and cos I want to, we want to … I've already picked out your frock, looks a bit like a blood clot but it's got all these lovely ruched up bits on the skirt … although that might gonna look like it's caught in your knickers …"

"Fuck off"

"I'm kiddin'…"

"You, young lady will wear whatever your sister says …" Nan gave a deep sigh "He's gonna make a lovely bridegroom …"

"Thanks Nan … but I think what you meant to say was that I'll make a lovely bride… and that Bels will make a lovely bridesmaid …."

"Of course you will … now …. we're gonna 'ave to start looking out for some nice frocks and I'm definitely going to get meself a new hat …"

"Oh shit … someone better warn Selfridges"


End file.
